I'm pear and this is Orange.

我是梨子，這是橙子。

Orange.

橙色。

Are you here, Shrek?

你在這裡嗎，史萊克？

Yeah, I am gross.

是的，我很噁心。

But I do appreciate your enthusiasm for today's story Shrek.

但我確實很欣賞你對今天的故事的熱情，史萊克。

Oh yeah, you could say I'm ogre the moon about today's episode.

哦，是的，你可以說我對今天的情節感到很興奮。

I well, since you're so excited, maybe you should take the lead on this one, I couldn't agree more weight.

我嗯，既然你這麼興奮，也許你應該帶頭做這件事，我不能同意更多的重量。

You don't need the book book schmuck pair.

你不需要書本上的書呆子對。

I know this story like the back of my hand.

我對這個故事瞭如指掌。

Orange, you don't have hands.

橙色，你沒有手。

Exactly.

正是如此。

So I'm confused.

所以我很困惑。

Do you actually know the story or don't you?

你真的知道這個故事嗎，還是不知道？

Yes.

是的。

Yes.

是的。

To which option correct.

對哪個選項正確。

Yeah.

是的。

Do you know the story of Shrek or don't you?

你知道史萊克的故事嗎，還是不知道？

What are you saying?

你在說什麼？

All I'm saying is this and what's Upon a time in a land far, far away, there was an ogre named Shrek.

我想說的是，在一個很遠很遠的地方，有一個叫史萊克的食人魔。

He was green and partied a lot and there was a lot of mud and bugs involved.

他很年輕，經常參加聚會，有很多泥巴和蟲子參與。

And uh dude, you don't remember anything about trek.

而且，呃，夥計，你不記得任何關於跋涉的事情。

Just admit it.

只要承認這一點。

I remember that he didn't awesome opening montage.

我記得，他沒有令人敬畏的開場蒙太奇。

So that one smash mouth song, you know, some body lines told me, don't remind me.

所以那首砸嘴的歌，你知道的，一些身體線條告訴我，不要提醒我。

Yeah, somebody lines told me, I mean this thing had it all.

是的，有人行告訴我，我的意思是這個東西擁有一切。

Bugs mud farts, Party bucks.

蟲子泥巴屁，黨羽。

Yeah, just classic.

對，就是經典。

Anyway, it was a super awesome way to start the baby and then a bunch of other awesome stuff happened.

總之，這是一個超級棒的方式來啟動寶寶，然後又發生了一堆其他棒的東西。

I think there was a gingerbread man at one point and they lived happily ever after.

我想有一個薑餅人在一個點上，他們從此幸福地生活在一起。

Hold on.

等一下。

Who lived happily ever after Orange.

誰在橙子之後快樂地生活。

What's that now?

現在是什麼？

I asked you who you're talking about.

我問你，你在說誰。

It feels like you don't actually remember any of the specifics, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I totally do.

感覺你實際上不記得任何具體細節，不，不，不，不，不，不，不，不，我完全記得。

Well, I didn't know you were gonna go all Robocop on me about filling in the details, jeez.

好吧，我不知道你會在填寫細節方面對我進行所有的機械警察，天啊。

Okay, so um maybe you'd like to talk about Princess Fiona and how she was kept locked in a tower.

好吧，那麼嗯，也許你想談談菲奧娜公主，以及她是如何被關在塔裡的。

Oh yeah, totally Princess Liotta Fiona, that's what I said.

哦，是的，完全是利奧塔-菲奧娜公主，我就是這麼說的。

Yeah, so Princess Fiona was locked in a tall tower, but at super long hair, people could climb up wrong princess, I mean, she pricked her finger on a spinning wheel wrong again, she ate a poison apple, nah, she wore a dress.

是的，所以菲奧娜公主被鎖在一個高高的塔裡，但在超長的頭髮，人們可以爬上錯誤的公主，我的意思是，她刺傷了她的手指在紡車上再次錯誤，她吃了一個毒蘋果，不，她穿了一件衣服。

Uh that's technically not incorrect.

呃......從技術上講，這並不是不正確的。

I'm a genius.

我是個天才。

Oh yeah, Well then tell me what happened next.

哦，是的，那麼告訴我接下來發生了什麼。

Easy Next was another awesome smash mouth montage.

輕鬆的下一步是另一個令人敬畏的砸嘴蒙太奇。

Know somebody once told me, God, do you really not know any other lines to that song?

知道有人曾經告訴我，上帝，你真的不知道這首歌的其他臺詞嗎？

If I know them, would you want me to sing a good point?

如果我認識他們，你會希望我唱一個好的點嗎？

Anyway, after an encore, smash mouth montage of Shrek, eating clubs and partying and slinging mud and farting and mud and I don't know, probably farting on bugs.

總之，在安可之後，砸嘴蒙太奇的史萊克，吃俱樂部，開派對，放屁和泥巴，我不知道，可能在蟲子身上放屁。

We got introduced to another important character and that character's name was Lord Farquaad Gazoontite, that's his name.

我們被介紹給另一個重要的角色，那個角色的名字是法爾奎德-加索特勳爵，這是他的名字。

I knew that Lord Markle Snood.

我知道，馬克爾-斯諾德勳爵。

Really like this one song that went somebody one Orange.

真的很喜歡這首去某人一橙的歌。

Just kidding, but not really, because who doesn't love that song?

開玩笑，但不是真的，因為誰不喜歡這首歌呢？

Don't can I take over the story now or what?

我現在可以接手這個故事了嗎？

Why would I just let you take over?

我為什麼要讓你接管？

I'm just getting started because now that we've met the main characters, it's time for a bunch of fairy tale stuff to happen.

我剛剛開始，因為現在我們已經認識了主要人物，是時候發生一堆童話般的事情了。

Okay, maybe you do know the story of Shrek.

好吧，也許你確實知道史萊克的故事。

Of course I do.

我當然知道。

So first Shrek but a dragon and defeated him by pulling a sword out of the stone and then throwing mud at the dragon and also farting how to suck.

是以，首先史萊克但是一條龍，並通過從石頭裡拔出劍來打敗了他，然後向龍扔泥巴，還放了個屁怎麼吸。

No.

沒有。

Then Princess Fiona went for a walk in the woods to her grandmother's house.

然後菲奧娜公主去樹林裡散步，來到她祖母的房子。

But when she got there, it wasn't actually her grandma.

但當她到達那裡時，實際上並不是她的祖母。

It was the band smash mouth disguised as her grandma Orange.

那是偽裝成她奶奶的橙子的樂隊砸嘴。

Somebody enough you're done dude not.

有人足夠你做的花花公子不是。

But we haven't even gotten to Lord Park.

但我們甚至還沒有到達Lord Park。

Na Farquaad partnered Farquaad.

納-法爾奎德與法爾奎德合作。

Well, whatever his name is, he had some kind of scene with a gingerbread man and his nose grew every time he lied and when someone asked if he liked smash mouth, he said no and you know what happened?

好吧，不管他叫什麼名字，他和一個薑餅人有某種場面，每次撒謊時他的鼻子都會變大，當有人問他是否喜歡砸嘴時，他說不喜歡，你知道發生了什麼？

No, somebody got dead.

不，有人死了。

When his goals extended, that's what, because that song rules and everybody knows it.

當他的目標擴展時，就是這樣，因為這首歌是規則，每個人都知道。

Somebody wines told me so tell me orange who wound up living happily ever after in the end.

有人葡萄酒告訴我，所以告訴我橙色的人最後幸福地生活在一起。

Everybody, everybody Okay, well, maybe not everybody, but I'm pretty sure it worked out for somebody all ringe don't yell over the closing smash mouth montage pair.

每個人，每個人 好吧，也許不是每個人，但我敢肯定，這對某人來說是成功的，所有ringe不要在閉幕的砸嘴蒙太奇對吼。

You're missing the best part.

你錯過了最重要的部分。

You know, I want to be mad at you for desecrating a really great movie, But if I'm being honest, your humor level is basically on par with the real thing you, but I believe it to be and mhm.

你知道嗎，我想為你褻瀆一部真正偉大的電影而生氣，但如果我是誠實的，你的幽默水準基本上與真實的東西你相當，但我相信它是和嗯。

Yeah, mm.

是的，毫米。