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  • When I was 15, I got my first professional audition.

    我在 15 歲時參加了第一場專業試鏡。

  • It was a commercial for cable subscriptions or bail bonds⏤I don't really remember.

    那是一個訂閱有線電視或保釋金捐款的廣告,我不太記得了。

  • But what I do remember is that the casting director asked me, "Uh, could you do that again? But just this time, sound more Latina."

    但我記得那時選角導演問我說:「妳可以再說一次嗎?但這次聽起來像拉丁美洲人一點。」

  • It took me most of the car ride home to realize that by "sound more Latina", she was asking me to speak in broken English, and I couldn't figure out why the fact that I was an actual, real-life, authentic Latina didn't really seem to matter.

    我在開車回家的路上花了很多時間才了解到「聽起來像拉丁美洲人」這句話,她的意思是要我說比較不流利的英語。我不懂為什麼我是否是個真實、真正、貨真價實的拉丁美洲人似乎不是很重要。

  • Anyway, I didn't get the job.

    總之,我沒有得到那份工作。

  • I didn't get a lot of the jobs people were willing to see me for: the gangbanger's girlfriend, the sassy shoplifter, pregnant Chola number two.

    我錯過很多那些人們想看我演的角色,像是:幫派人士的女朋友、無禮的竊賊、懷孕的拉丁女二角色。

  • These were the kinds of roles that existed for someone like me; someone they looked at and saw as too brown, too fat, too poor, too unsophisticated.

    對那些像我的人,看起來膚色很黑、很胖、很窮或很複雜的人來說,存在著某種規則。

  • I kept receiving the same message again and again and again, that my identity was an obstacle I had to overcome.

    我一直收到同樣的訊息,一遍又一遍,就是我的身份是一個要克服的障礙。

  • And so I thought, "Come at me, obstacle! I'm an American; my name is America."

    所以我就想說:「障礙你就衝著我來吧!我是美國人,我的名字就叫艾美莉卡。」

  • "I trained my whole life for this. I'll just follow the playbook. I'll work harder."

    「我的一生都在練習。我會遵守劇本,我會好好工作。」

  • I stayed out of the sun so that my skin wouldn't get too brown.

    我遠離陽光,這樣我的皮膚才不會曬太黑。

  • I straightened my curls into submission.

    我把捲髮燙直表示屈服。

  • I constantly tried to lose weight; I bought fancier and more expensive clothes.

    我試著持續減肥,我買比較花俏跟昂貴的衣服。

  • All so that when people looked at me, they wouldn't see a too-fat, too-brown, too-poor Latina.

    這樣一來人們看到我時,他們才不會看到一個太肥、太黑、太窮的拉丁美洲人。

  • They would see what I was capable of, and maybe they would give me a chance.

    他們會看到我的能力,或許還會給我一個機會。

  • Just a few years ago, my agent called to explain to me why I wasn't getting a role in a movie.

    幾年前,我的經紀人打給我告訴我為什麼我沒有拿到一個電影的角色。

  • He said, "They loved you, and they really, really do wanna cast diversely, but the movie isn't financeable until they cast the white role first."

    他說:「他們喜歡妳,他們真的想要有多元化的角色,但是電影沒有先選白人角色的話,會拿不到資金贊助。」

  • I went through this process for years of accepting the failure as my own, and then feeling deep shame that I couldn't overcome the obstacles.

    我自己花了好幾年接受這種失敗的過程,並且對我一直沒克服的難題感到羞愧。

  • But this time I heard a new voice, a voice that understood my tears and my pain were not about losing a job.

    但這次我聽到一個新的聲音,它懂當我失去工作時的難過和痛苦。

  • They were about what was actually being said about me

    那是人們對我的真實想法——

  • what had been said about me, my whole life by executives and producers and directors and writers and agents and managers and teachers and friends and family, that I was a person of less value.

    我一生中遇到的那些領導、導演、作者、經紀人、經理、老師、朋友和家人說我是一個沒有價值的

  • I couldn't change what a system believed about me while I believed what the system believed about meand I did.

    當我相信那個體制對我的看法時,我不能改變體制對我的看法,但我改變了。

  • I, like everyone around me, believed that it wasn't possible for me to exist in my dream as I was.

    我自己像我身邊的人一樣,認為要實現我的夢想是不可能的。

  • And I went about trying to make myself invisible.

    我試圖讓我自己隱形。

  • What this revealed to me was that it is possible to be the person who genuinely wants to see change while also being the person whose actions keep things the way they are.

    這顯示出想要真正成為改變的人,並且讓他們行為維持不變是有可能的。

  • Change will come when each of us has the courage to question our own fundamental values and beliefs, and then, see to it that our actions lead to our best intentions.

    當我們有勇氣去質疑自己的基本價值觀和信念時,改變是會到來的,而改變會讓我們的行為有很好的意義。

  • I am just one of millions of people who have been told that in order to fulfill my dreams, in order to contribute my talents to the world, I have to resist the truth of who I am.

    我只是數百萬人中的其中一人,被告知說為了實現夢想、為了向世界貢獻我的才能,我要抵抗我的真實身份。

  • My identity is not my obstacle.

    我的身份並不是我的障礙。

  • My identity is my superpower.

    我的身份是我的超能力。

  • I, for one, am ready to stop resisting and to start existing as my full and authentic self.

    我代表所有人,已經準備好停止抵抗並開始活出真正的自我。

When I was 15, I got my first professional audition.

我在 15 歲時參加了第一場專業試鏡。

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B1 中級 中文 美國腔 TED 身份 體制 障礙 角色 改變

不認同自己嗎?請相信身份是你最強大的力量!(Your identity is your superpower | America Ferrera)

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    Julianne Sung 發佈於 2021 年 12 月 05 日
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