when you have a baby the biggest thing that happens is

當你懷孕的時候最誇張的事情就是

all the sudden you get these boobs out of nowhere

你的胸部會突然變得超大

Right? It is like boobs got nowhere right?

對吧?胸部會變得超大

Like this guy's looking at me like

這位男士看著我好像在說

"That was about a long time ago"

"那是很久以前的事了"

And I gonna be honest, I kinda like having boobs for the first time in my life.

我必須要誠實，我實在蠻喜歡第一次有胸部的感覺

You know? Cause umm...what I have right now is teats.

你知道嗎? 因為我現在只有奶頭

And umm.. isn't that nuts?

而且...這不是很瘋狂嗎?

And I thought about that should I get implants ?

所以我就想說我要不要去隆乳

You know? Joining the Hollywood crowd, that will be really cool.

你知道嗎?就像好萊塢明星那樣，會超酷的

Then I thought that how do you know what size to get?

接著我又想，我怎麼知道我要變成幾罩杯?

You know? It's not like you go to the mall and you're trying a dress, you know?

這又不是像去逛街試穿洋裝(可以先試試看)

And I think we should be able to do that.

我覺得我們必須要先知道"我要變幾罩杯"

How do you know if you want a C or D?

不然你怎麼知道你要C罩杯還是D罩杯?

You know? Don't you think so, ladies?

妳們不這樣覺得嗎?女生們?

So I thought the best way to do this is make "Homemade Implants" before you commit

所以我覺得最好的方法是在隆乳前先"自製假奶"

and go try it out one night to test it.

然後試著這樣出門一個晚上看看

So I went to dancing and test it out. Tell me what you think now

所以我這樣去跳舞了，看看你們覺得怎樣

Oh yeah

噢耶

Woooo

哇

Oh yeah...oh yeah

噢耶...噢耶

Hey baby

嗨寶貝

I gotta be honest I like the D for one night man

我必須要老實，我喜歡擁有D罩杯一個晚上

I was D

我是D罩杯!

Wow you know?

哇你知道嗎?

And I wanna make sure that I got a lot actions so I will say as like

我想要確保有很多人注意我所以我會說

Man it is chilly in here

天阿!這裡好冷唷

It's so nippy

超冷的

It is nippy

好冷

Oh man...oh man

噢天...噢天

I'm not gonna lie, I feel like a new woman, man, oh my god

我不騙你，我覺得自己是個全新的女人我的天

I'm just like the cool girls you know? Leaning up against the wall...you know how they do that

我就像那些酷妹一樣你知道嗎?靠在牆上...然後你知道她們都怎樣的

and then just stand there and just starting checking them...

就站在這邊然後打量著別人...

Wooo

哇

I am not gonna lie, man, when I saw hotties I was like "Hey baby! What's up!"

我不騙你，如果我看到帥哥我就會說 "嘿寶貝! 你好阿!"

What's up ! You know

嗨!! 你知道的

Then I turn around and like "Oh my god ! A geek! Oh my god hey!"

結果我轉身 "噢天阿! 一個宅男! 我的天..嗨!"

Right there got you! Right there!

嘿!就是你!那邊那位!

I am not gonna lie...it was crazy! Every thing was going really good until this guy comes walking up to me, he's all buffed

我真的不騙你...這超瘋狂! 一切都進行得很順利，直到一位帥哥走過來

and I want all of those bodies that you know you wouldn't believe it's all cut up, and I got nervous and flustered

他肌肉發達的身材真是好到不行! 我整個超緊張又惶恐

and I screw it up cause I was like "Oh my god! Hi!"

所以我搞砸了 因為我這樣 "噢天阿!嗨!"

He looks at me and goes "Hey baby! I'm Dan. How are you?"

他看著我然後說 "嗨寶貝! 我是丹 妳好嗎?"

Thank you very much you guys! Thank you!

非常謝謝你們! 謝謝!