during the time when we  completely depend on their care.  

在我們完全依賴他們照顧的時候。

This happens because as young children we perceive  them as almighty, endlessly wise, and flawless.

發生這種情況的原因是，作為年幼的孩子，我們認為他們是萬能的，有無窮無盡的智慧，而且毫無瑕疵。

We also believe that whatever they  do, literally - whatever - they - do,  

我們也相信，無論他們做什麼，從字面上看--無論--他們--做什麼。

they do out of unconditional love And  because we think they are infallible,  

他們這樣做是出於無條件的愛，也是因為我們認為他們是無懈可擊的。

we consequently think that we are  at fault whenever a conflict arises.

是以，每當衝突發生時，我們就認為自己有錯。

In order to reduce any kind of conflict,  we develop patterns of behavior, feelings,  

為了減少任何形式的衝突，我們發展了行為模式、感情。

and thinking designed to please our  parents and minimise any friction.  

和思維，旨在取悅我們的父母，儘量減少任何摩擦。

Unfortunately, these patterns can lead to  a personality that is misaligned with its  

不幸的是，這些模式可能會導致人格與它所處的環境不一致。

true spiritual self. And so, we grow into  adults that behave in ways that make us sad.

真正的精神自我。是以，我們成長為成年人，其行為方式讓我們感到悲傷。

The Hoffman Process was designed to help us detect  

霍夫曼進程的目的是幫助我們發現

negative patterns of behavior, break them  and to become the person we really are.

負面的行為模式，打破它們，成為我們真正的人。

To condense a lifetime of analysis into seven  days, the process is highly structured, very  

為了將一生的分析濃縮在七天裡，這個過程是高度結構化的，非常

intense, and applies a multitude of techniques.  Afterward, participants often understand why  

激烈，並應用了大量的技術。 之後，參與者往往明白為什麼

they are the way they are and learn to let go  of the negative sides of their personality.

他們就是這樣的人，並學會放下他們性格中的消極面。

To understand how the process works, let us look  at three types of people who on the outside,  

為了瞭解這個過程是如何運作的，讓我們看一下三種類型的人，他們在外面。

look just fine, but on the  inside, deeply struggle.

看起來很好，但在內心深處，深深地掙扎。

Eva is 27, a university graduate, and  she has just started her first job.  

伊娃27歲，大學畢業，她剛剛開始她的第一份工作。

She's unable to trust men and is at a loss  when it comes to forming healthy relationships.

她無法信任男人，在形成健康的關係方面無所適從。

Jay is 51, an overachiever, and a respected CEO.  However, his marriage is broken and his two adult  

傑伊今年51歲，是個出色的人，也是個受人尊敬的首席執行官。 然而，他的婚姻破裂了，他的兩個成人

children hardly ever call. He asks himself  if that's really all that life has to offer?

孩子們幾乎從不打電話。他問自己，這真的是生活所能提供的全部嗎？

Tom is 45, married with one child, but he's got no  friends. He lives with his family far outside town  

湯姆今年45歲，已婚，有一個孩子，但他沒有朋友。他和他的家人住在城外很遠的地方

and signs up for the process when he realizes that  his daughter also has problems making friends.

並在意識到他的女兒也有交友問題時，報名參加了這個過程。

Through the process Eva will realise that, when  her dad left when she was 4, and her mother then  

通過這個過程，伊娃會意識到，當她的父親在她4歲時離開，而她的母親當時

struggled as a single mom and a lonely woman,  it had a big impact on her. Over the years her  

作為一個單親媽媽和一個孤獨的女人而奮鬥，這對她產生了很大的影響。多年來，她

own relationship with her father became broken  and she learned that men couldn't be trusted.

自己與父親的關係變得破裂，她瞭解到男人是不可信任的。

Jay will learn that his life was going great  up until his little brother was born — a funny,  

傑伊將瞭解到，他的生活一直很順利，直到他的小弟弟出生--一個有趣的。

extraverted, and bright boy. Afterwards, Jay was  hardly ever noticed. Jay soon realizes that his  

外向的、聰明的男孩。之後，傑伊幾乎沒有人注意到他。傑伊很快意識到，他的

parents would only pay attention to him if he  excelled in school or sports, causing him to  

只有當他在學校或體育方面表現出色時，父母才會關注他，導致他

grow into an adult who tries to be the best in  everything, in order to get the love he seeks.

成長為一個在任何事情上都試圖做到最好的成年人，以獲得他所尋求的愛。

Tom will realize that he was an accident — born  to a young couple who had just begun dating.  

湯姆會意識到，他是一個意外--由一對剛開始約會的年輕夫婦所生。

As a young boy he was often neglected,  because their life was difficult.  

作為一個小男孩，他經常被忽視，因為他們的生活很困難。

His parents who were overwhelmed by the situation  would often snap at him over the smallest thing.  

他的父母被這種情況壓得喘不過氣來，經常會因為一點小事就對他大發雷霆。

Little Tom began to think that he was the cause  of all misery — he should never have been born.

小湯姆開始認為他是所有苦難的根源--他不應該出生。

The process begins with a phone call from a  designated therapist. This is followed by a  

這個過程從一個指定的治療師的電話開始。隨後是一個

50-page questionnaire that helps their client  to reflect on their lives. Going through the  

50頁的調查問卷，幫助他們的客戶反思他們的生活。通過

questions, the participants identify particular  patterns in behavior and link them to their  

問題，參與者確定特定的行為模式，並將它們與他們的

parents. Once returned, the therapist uses the  questionnaire to understand the underlying issues.

父母。一旦返回，治療師就會使用該問卷來了解潛在的問題。

On day 1, all three arrive at the retreat, a place  isolated from the outside world. They hand over  

第一天，三個人都到達了靜修所，一個與外界隔絕的地方。他們交出了

their phones and any books to ensure there are no  distractions. Tom then meets his therapist for an  

他們的手機和任何書籍，以確保沒有分心的情況。然後，湯姆與他的治療師見面，進行一次

in-depth conversation. Afterwards, he gets to know  the other 17 participants and learns that everyone  

深入交談。之後，他認識了其他17名參與者，並瞭解到每個人都

carries within them an inner child that manages  their expectations, thoughts, and feelings.

他們的內心有一個孩子，管理著他們的期望、思想和感情。

On day 2 Jay and the others  learn more about their parents  

第2天，傑伊和其他人瞭解到更多關於他們父母的情況

and how their behavioral patterns have formed  out of love for their father and mother.

以及他們的行為模式是如何出於對父親和母親的愛而形成的。

Jay, who only got real attention  when he impressed his parents,  

傑伊，只有當他給父母留下深刻印象時才會得到真正的關注。

could never be good enough to  get all the love he needed.

他永遠不可能好到可以得到他所需要的所有愛。

Such conditional love is  negative because subconsciously  

這種有條件的愛是消極的，因為在潛意識裡

Jay takes on the blame for  this disjunction and develops  

傑伊承擔了這種脫節的責任，並制定了

a 'core shame belief' — he begins to think  something is inherently wrong with himself.

一種 "核心羞恥信念"--他開始認為自己本身有問題。

And so, even after 50 years of  trying so hard to be the best,  

是以，即使經過50年的努力，要成為最好的。

his inner child is still looking for the  unconditional love he got so little of.

他內心的孩子仍然在尋找他所得到的無條件的愛。

On day 3, Eva realizes how the patterns she  established as a young girl subconsciously  

在第三天，伊娃意識到她作為一個年輕女孩建立的模式是如何在潛意識裡

project into her adult relationships — anyone  who reminds Eva of her father, can't be trusted.

投射到她的成人關係中--任何讓伊娃想起父親的人，都不能信任。

Through a group game later that day, she  experiences that there are men she can rely on.

通過當天晚些時候的集體遊戲，她體會到有一些男人是她可以依靠的。

Eva then accuses her parents of making her the  victim of their broken relationship - this is  

然後，伊娃指責她的父母讓她成為他們關係破裂的受害者--這就是

important because this way she can retrace  her negative pattern back to her parents. 

重要的是，這樣她可以把她的負面模式追溯到她的父母。

Afterwards, she learns to understand their story,  

之後，她學會了理解他們的故事。

because they too were once children,  with parents who had their own issues.

因為他們也曾經是孩子，有自己的問題的父母。

This is important because then she  can understand their situation and  

這一點很重要，因為這樣她就可以瞭解他們的情況，並且

realizes that the way she was brought up  was all her parents were able to provide.

她意識到，她的成長方式是她父母所能提供的全部。

Now she can make peace with her past,  and her mistrust of men begins to wither.

現在，她可以與她的過去和平相處，她對男人的不信任開始凋零。

On day 4, participants say goodbye to their  parents and their childhood and ask themselves: 

第四天，學員們告別了父母和童年，並問自己。

Where am I from? What injuries do  

我來自哪裡？有什麼傷？

I bring along from my mother and father? How have these injuries impacted my life? 

我從我的母親和父親那裡帶來了什麼？這些傷害對我的生活有什麼影響？

What strategies have I developed to  compensate for these injuries so far?

到目前為止，我制定了哪些策略來彌補這些傷害？

Jay, who didn't want to be reminded of the  painful thought that he's not worthy of his  

傑伊，他不希望被提醒他不配擁有自己的痛苦想法。

parents unconditional love, compensated by only  contacting them when he had outstanding news,  

父母無條件的愛，通過只在他有突出的消息時與他們聯繫來補償。

such as another promotion. Knowing  that they would then surely listen  

比如說再升職。知道他們然後肯定會聽

and act predictably, he reduces  the risk of feeling hurt.

並採取可預測的行動，他就會減少感覺受到傷害的風險。

After this realization,  

在這一認識之後。

Jay creates a development plan to follow  his vision for life after the process.

傑伊創建了一個發展計劃，以遵循他對過程後的生活願景。

Day 5 is about our vindictiveness. Tom, who  didn't want to be reminded that he is the root of  

第5天是關於我們的報復性行為。湯姆，他不希望被提醒他是根

all problems, compensated for the pain he  experienced by hiding himself. At a young age,  

所有問題，通過隱藏自己來補償他所經歷的痛苦。在年輕的時候。

children keep their honor by thinking of how to,  

孩子們通過思考如何保持他們的榮譽。

one day, pay their parents back  for the misery they caused them.

有一天，他們的父母給他們帶來的痛苦會得到回報。

As we mature, such vindictive  thoughts move into the subconscious  

隨著我們的成熟，這種報復性的想法會進入潛意識。

and by the time he is a teenager, Tom begins  to pay back. First by breaking the law,  

而到了十幾歲的時候，湯姆就開始回報了。首先是通過犯法。

then by breaking all contacts  with his friends and family.

然後通過切斷與他的朋友和家人的所有聯繫。

On this day, Tom stops feeling vindictive  

在這一天，湯姆停止了報復性的感覺

and makes peace with his parents. His inner  child regains his honor and grows in strength.  

並與他的父母和平相處。他內心的孩子重新獲得了榮譽，並在力量上得到了增長。

Grown-up Tom can now leave his hiding place  and finally enjoy meeting other people.

長大後的湯姆現在可以離開他的藏身之處，並最終享受與其他人見面的樂趣。

On day 6 the participants get to know the  saboteur, the inner voice that warns us of  

第6天，學員們將瞭解破壞者，即警告我們的內在聲音。

any change in order to keep us in the safe old  world we know so well. Eva hears the voice,  

任何變化，以使我們保持在我們熟悉的安全的舊世界裡。伊娃聽到了這個聲音。

whenever she opens up to the opposite sex  — it whispers “remember, you can't trust  

每當她向異性敞開心扉時，它就會低聲說："記住，你不能相信我。

men”. Tom hears it when he enters a group of  people — “you are not welcome here”. Whenever Jay  

人"。湯姆進入一群人時聽到的是--"這裡不歡迎你"。每當傑伊

tries to relax and be himself, the saboteur says  “Don't just do nothing! You are better than this!”

試圖放鬆並做自己，破壞者說："不要只是什麼都不做！你比這更好！你比這更好！"

After getting to know this evil agent, they learn  how to deal with this enemy of our progress.  

在認識了這個邪惡的代理人之後，他們學會了如何對付這個我們進步的敵人。

Then the group recaps the entire process  and celebrates their new found selves.

然後小組回顧整個過程，慶祝他們找到的新的自我。

On day 7 they learn practical tools on  how to cope with the change they will face  

第7天，他們學習如何應對他們將面臨的變化的實用工具。

when they go back into their lives.  Finally, they go home to their parents,  

當他們回到自己的生活中去。 最後，他們回到父母身邊。

to complete what they have started,  end their old lives and begin afresh.

完成他們已經開始的事情，結束他們的舊生活並重新開始。

The Hoffman Process was  developed in 1967 by Bob Hoffman.  

霍夫曼過程是由鮑勃-霍夫曼在1967年開發的。

Today the process is being offered in over 16  countries and over 100.000 people have gone  

今天，這個過程在超過16個國家提供，超過10萬人參加了這個過程。

through this intense journey of self-discovery  — including Justin Bieber and Katy Perry.

通過這個激烈的自我發現之旅--包括賈斯汀-比伯和凱蒂-佩裡。

To learn more about the Hoffman process, or to  read the research on it by the Harvard Center for  

要了解更多關於霍夫曼過程的資訊，或閱讀哈佛大學研究中心對它的研究。

Public Leadership, check out the descriptions  below. Prior to creating this channel,  

公共領導力，看看下面的描述。在創建這個頻道之前。

our founder went through the Hoffman Process  and it had a profound effect on his life.

我們的創始人經歷了霍夫曼過程，這對他的生活產生了深遠的影響。