What have you been doing?

你一直在做什麼？

What's the vibe?

氛圍是什麼？

How's it going?

進展如何？

Well, dyed my hair red.

嗯，把我的頭髮染成了紅色。

I had a breakdown.

我崩潰了。

Oh yeah, we call it a breakdown.

哦，是的，我們稱它為崩潰。

I realized something about my life and myself and the way I react to certain things and I realized it was part of past trauma and big can of worms open, have a lot of stuff to figure out and deal with and that's all part of life's journey and it's just, it just takes a long time, but it's been interesting, I'm tired, but you know, I had to take a little break and now I'm back, I don't want to come back and just be like, hey, if I'm into it also everything's fine, you know, I am fine, it's just part of life, I think, you know, everybody has certain things that maybe at some point it will come up and it's like, oh this is like a really big life thing, that to be the best version of myself and to be somebody who I wanna be, I gotta get through this thing and like figure out myself more, you know, it's all about learning myself, it's a journey, blah blah, blah, mhm, mm, mm.

我意識到關於我的生活和我自己的一些事情，以及我對某些事情的反應方式，我意識到這是過去創傷的一部分，大罐子打開了，有很多東西要弄清楚和處理，這都是生命旅程的一部分，只是，只是需要很長的時間，但這很有趣，我很累，但你知道，我不得不休息一下，現在我回來了，我不想回來，只是像，嘿。如果我投入其中，一切都很好，你知道，我很好，這只是生活的一部分，我想，你知道，每個人都有某些事情，也許在某些時候它會出現，就像，哦，這就像一個真正的人生大事，要成為最好的自己，成為我想成為的人，我必須通過這件事，像更多地瞭解自己，你知道

Okay.

好的。

Yeah.

是的。

Oh no, I'm so sad.

哦，不，我很難過。

I would like to be done with this stage of life and I know I just have to wait and learn things.

我想結束這個階段的生活，我知道我只需要等待和學習事情。

I want to live in ignorant bliss, but that's unhealthy.

我想生活在無知的幸福中，但這是不健康的。

Uh anyway, we should leave the house, so happening somewhere.

呃，無論如何，我們應該離開房子，所以發生的地方。

Oh good.

哦，太好了。

Can you hear it?

你能聽到它嗎？

I guess it's the town bell.

我想這是鎮上的鐘聲。

Okay.

好的。

Yeah.

是的。

Mhm.

嗯。

It wasn't, I want a blessed life kind of depressed.

這不是，我想要一個有福的生活的那種鬱悶。

I have to cut that bit up.

我必須把這部分剪掉。

Okay, we're back where we started back at my house, unfortunately, I still feel the same.

好了，我們又回到了我們開始的地方，回到了我家，不幸的是，我仍然有同樣的感覺。

So yeah, I go now.

所以是的，我現在就去。

Good night everybody.

大家晚安。

I'll see your tour I think.

我想我會看到你的旅行。

Right?

對嗎？

Oh, tell my hair, thanks, cute.

哦，告訴我的頭髮，謝謝，可愛。

I like it.

我喜歡它。

I'm feeling a lot better.

我感覺好多了。

It's good to see my friend Emily today, I'm getting my life back together, cleaning the apartment, cleaning everything, playing some music, getting everything fresh to start a fresh day tomorrow, where I don't feel like absolute garbage for the whole day.

今天很高興見到我的朋友艾米麗，我正在恢復我的生活，打掃公寓，清潔一切，播放一些音樂，讓一切都煥然一新，以便明天開始新的一天，在那裡我不覺得一整天都像絕對的垃圾。

And I really like there.

而且我真的很喜歡那裡。

I really like it.

我真的很喜歡它。

Sorry, microwaving food right now.

對不起，現在正在用微波爐加熱食物。

So if you can hear that, that's the microwave.

是以，如果你能聽到這個聲音，那就是微波爐了。

Yeah, there's a pattern in my life that is unhealthy.

是的，在我的生活中，有一種模式是不健康的。

This is all the stuff that I figured out in the past two days.

這是我在過去兩天里弄明白的所有東西。

It's caused by stuff that has happened to me in the past.

這是由過去發生在我身上的事情引起的。

Uh and it's very comfortable loop.

呃，而且是非常舒適的循環。

I mean it hurts, but it's it's kind of just like a cycle.

我的意思是它很痛，但它就像一個循環。

Um and I know that I can break out of the cycle now, that I know that it's there and I think it's going to take a long time, a lot of efforts, but it's a lot of, you know, there's a thing that's missing and I have been trying to find that thing in certain places and it's something that I need to be able to provide myself, which is so annoying.

嗯，我知道我現在可以打破這個循環，我知道它就在那裡，我想這需要很長的時間，很多的努力，但這是很多的，你知道，有一個東西是缺失的，我一直試圖在某些地方找到這個東西，這是我需要能夠為自己提供的東西，這是很煩人的。

I know you're done.

我知道你已經完成了。

Uh it's so annoying because that's a lot of effort uh and I naturally don't want to be able to provide that for myself.

呃，這太令人討厭了，因為那是一個很大的努力，呃，我自然不希望能夠為自己提供這些。

I just want to go back into being comfortable and relying on other things to provide this for me, but it's now part of my life journey to to uh yeah, love myself and give myself the kind of love that I'm looking for um which I've been told before and it's, I've listened to the words, but it never really went in and I think now it's starting to be like, oh, oh, this is very necessary uh for my life and it's gonna be really hard, but I know that it's a next step and I also know that it feels better to know that I'm more in control.

我只是想回到舒適的狀態，依靠其他東西來為我提供這些，但現在這是我人生旅程的一部分，要呃，是的，愛自己，給自己我正在尋找的那種愛，嗯，以前有人告訴過我，它是。我聽過這些話，但它從來沒有真正進入，我想現在它開始像，哦，哦，這對我的生活非常必要，呃，這將是非常困難的，但我知道這是一個下一步，我也知道這感覺更好，知道我更有控制力。

I just thought things kept happening to me, why do these things keep happening?

我只是覺得事情一直髮生在我身上，為什麼這些事情會一直髮生？

It's just, you know, it's something that I have a bit more control over.

這只是，你知道，這是我有更多控制權的東西。

I don't really know how exactly yet, but I think this is the next step into healing some stuff because I think overall, yeah, this is how this is incredibly necessary to me as a person.

我真的還不知道具體怎麼做，但我認為這是治癒一些東西的下一步，因為我認為總體而言，是的，這對我這個人來說是難以置信的必要。

I'm ready to be the best version of myself that is not held back so gradually coming back to life, can we back the life and do my best and it's gonna be okay.

我已經準備好做最好的自己，不被牽制，所以逐漸回到生活中來，我們可以回到生活中來，做我最好的，會好起來的。

But I got a lot to learn.

但我有很多東西要學。

I would like to get through long journey, made it for the long run, whole flight of life.

我想通過漫長的旅程，使其長期運行，整個生命的飛行。

I'm gonna eat this spy.

我要吃掉這個間諜。

Oh, okay.

哦，好的。

But it's been an interesting time learning about myself, learning about my stuff and my biz uh and overall it's very good for me as a human and I'm just gonna keep on learning and now I want to keep on learning whilst also making videos, not about that.

但這是一段有趣的時間，瞭解我自己，瞭解我的東西和我的事業呃，總的來說，這對我這個人非常好，我只是要繼續學習，現在我想繼續學習，同時也製作視頻，不是關於這個。

Maybe sometimes if I really want, probably not.

如果我真的想的話，也許有時會，可能不會。

No, I got to see lots of friends and I'm just like taking it easy ish, you know, tell you doing relatively, that's the only thing I'm very lucky that I am able to take it easy and yeah, just figure out life and stuff.

不，我去見了很多朋友，我只是想輕鬆一下，你知道，告訴你做得比較好，這是我唯一非常幸運的事情，我能夠輕鬆一下，是的，只是弄清楚生活和東西。

I think this past year and a half is, you know, a perfect time to have a breakdown.

我認為過去的一年半是，你知道的，一個完美的時間來進行分解。

I just wanted to say, I think that it's like, there's a lot of reasons, a lot of factors and a lot of stress is in the world that mean that other things can come out.

我只是想說，我認為這就像，有很多原因，很多因素和很多壓力在這個世界上，這意味著其他事情可以出來。

It's like, you know, it's not it's not one of those things where it's like, oh, I went through something and now I'm better and I'm not here to be like, I'm better, I'm coming back, I'm just like, I'm in the middle of this journey, so it'll be more specific, you know, it's personal business, but like, you know, it's like, I'm in the middle of figuring out stuff about myself and it's just gonna keep on going forever so that I'm coming back while I figure stuff out.

這就像，你知道，它不是它不是那些事情之一，它就像，哦，我經歷了一些事情，現在我好了，我在這裡不是為了像，我好了，我回來了，我只是像，我在這個旅程的中間。所以它會更具體，你知道，這是個人事務，但就像，你知道，這就像，我在弄清楚關於我自己的東西的中間，它只是會一直持續下去，所以我在弄清楚東西的時候會回來。

I hope you're all okay out there.

我希望你們在外面都很好。

I know that, you know, going through all these times is you are probably going through your own business and figuring out your own stuff.

我知道，你知道，經歷所有這些時間是你可能正在經歷你自己的業務和弄清你自己的東西。

And it's an arduous journey.

而這是一個艱鉅的旅程。

And also, sometimes, you know, with this kind of thing with like, Covid, you never really know when the end is gonna be or what's going to happen.

還有，有時候，你知道，像科維德這種事情，你永遠不會真正知道什麼時候結束，或者會發生什麼。

So you just, you know, we'll, we'll figure it out.

所以你只是，你知道，我們會，我們會想出辦法。

But yeah, I'm just gonna be taking it easy.

但是，是的，我只是要慢慢來。

Come out with videos when I have a video and come out with videos I don't want to make.

當我有視頻的時候就出來，有視頻的時候就出來，我不想做。

And yeah, that's pretty much it.

是的，差不多就是這樣了。

Anyway, that's me.

總之，這就是我。

I'll see you guys in the next video, which is gonna be the apartment tour.

我將在下一個視頻中看到你們，這將是公寓之旅。

I hope you're doing okay out there.

我希望你在外面過得很好。

Give you lots of love from me to you.

給你很多愛，從我到你。

And uh, yeah, thank you for your patience and understanding.

還有，是的，謝謝你的耐心和理解。

And I'll see you again very, very soon.

而且我很快就會再見到你。

No, john f for you, not this time, next time there will be but not this time.

不，約翰-弗為你，這次沒有，下次會有，但不是這次。

This time I will just say bye and have a great rest of your day or night.

這一次，我只想說再見，祝你有一個美好的休息日或夜晚。