one or both partners will almost naturally  start to refer to the other as 'baby'.  

一方或雙方几乎都會自然而然地開始稱呼對方為 "寶寶"。

They might, alternatively or in addition,  stick a diminutive on to the end of their name  

他們可能會在自己的名字後面加一個小名，作為替代或補充。

('-ie'), buy them a teddy (or  show them their own from way back)  

('-ie')，給他們買一隻泰迪熊(或給他們看他們自己的泰迪熊)，從很早以前就開始。

and late at night speak to them in an unusually  high pitched, soothing and sing-songy way.

並在深夜以異常高的音調、舒緩和歌唱的方式對他們說話。

We all invest a considerable part of our energy  and our pride in growing up, in ensuring that we  

我們都在成長過程中投入了相當一部分精力和自豪感，以確保我們的

no longer need help in tying up our shoelaces,  don't need to be reminded to wrap up warm on  

不再需要有人幫助我們繫鞋帶，不再需要有人提醒我們穿上保暖的衣服。

cold days and can take care of combing our own  hair. In short, we try very hard to be adults.

寒冷的日子裡，我們可以照顧好自己的頭髮梳理。簡而言之，我們非常努力地想成為成年人。

But successful grown up relationships  demand something rather peculiar of us:  

但成功的成長關係對我們的要求相當特殊。

while we are rewarded for the overall maturity  of our characters and way of life, we are also  

在我們因性格和生活方式的全面成熟而得到獎勵的同時，我們也得到了

invited - when striving properly to be close to  someone - to access the less developed, and more  

被邀請--當努力適當地接近某人時--進入不太發達的、更多的

puerile sides of us. It belongs to authentic  adulthood to be able, at points in an intimate  

我們的稚嫩的一面。它屬於真正的成年，能夠在一個親密的時刻

relationship, to curl up like a small child and  seek to be 'babied' as one might have been many  

關係，像一個小孩子一樣蜷縮起來，尋求被 "照顧"，就像一個人可能被許多人照顧一樣。

decades before, when we wore pyjamas with elephant  prints on them and had a lisp and a small gap in  

幾十年前，當我們穿著印有大象圖案的睡衣，口齒不清，臉上有一個小缺口的時候

our front teeth. It belongs to health, rather  than pathology, to realise how much one might  

我們的門牙。它屬於健康，而不是病理學，意識到一個人可能有多大的

at difficult moments want to be 'mummied' or  'daddied' by a partner and to connect for a time  

在困難的時候，希望被伴侶 "照顧 "或 "照顧"，並在一段時間內保持聯繫。

with the helpless, frightened, dependent child  one once was and at some level always remain.

與曾經的無助、驚恐、依賴的孩子一樣，在某種程度上始終保持。

Sadly though, this selective regression is no easy  or charming journey back for those whose childhood  

可悲的是，這種選擇性的迴歸對於那些童年時的人來說並不容易，也不迷人。

involved them in scenes of petrifying suffering  and humiliation. For them, growing up has  

他們被捲入可怕的痛苦和羞辱的場景中。對他們來說，成長的過程是

involved a superhuman effort never again to place  themselves at the mercy of those who might take  

這涉及到一種超人的努力，再也不把自己置於那些可能奪走自己的人的擺佈之下。

advantage of their vulnerabilities. Returning into  imaginative contact with 'mummies' and 'daddies'  

利用他們的弱點。回到與 "木乃伊 "和 "爸爸 "的想象性接觸中。

therefore holds no particular charm; their  teddies will not be having a picnic any time soon.  

是以，沒有什麼特別的魅力；他們的小夥伴們不會在短期內進行野餐。

These bulletproof characters are likely to walk  through the world with defiance and strength.  

這些刀槍不入的人物很可能帶著蔑視和力量走過這個世界。

They will have built a heavy shield  of irony around their hearts.  

他們將在自己的心周圍建立起一個沉重的諷刺盾牌。

Sarcasm may be their favorite mode of defence  - and they will have ensured in a thousand ways  

諷刺可能是他們最喜歡的防衛方式--他們將以一千種方式確保

that no one would ever attempt to  ask them, even in the briefest,  

沒有人會試圖去問他們，即使是最簡短的。

most lighthearted and humorous way,  to 'come to mummy or daddy' for a hug.

最輕鬆和幽默的方式是 "來找媽媽或爸爸 "的擁抱。

The defensiveness is hugely understandable,  but it is not necessarily aligned with the  

這種防禦性是非常可以理解的，但它不一定符合

real requirements of maturity. True health would  mean recovering an easy and informal contact  

成熟的真正要求。真正的健康將意味著恢復一種輕鬆和非正式的接觸

with one's less robust dimensions; it  would mean being able to play the child  

它將意味著能夠扮演孩子的角色。

because one knew one was resolutely the adult,  it would mean being able to be 'baby' because  

因為你知道你是堅定的成年人，這意味著你可以成為 "嬰兒"，因為

one was in no doubt that one had safely overcome  the fears and traumas of the defenceless past.

人們毫不懷疑，自己已經安全地克服了過去毫無防備的恐懼和創傷。

The more difficult the early years have been, the  more of our undeveloped self must be disavowed,  

早年越是困難，我們未發展的自我就越是要被否定。

the more we must appear grandiose,  impregnable and daunting. Nevertheless,  

我們越是要顯得宏偉，堅不可摧和令人生畏。儘管如此。

we will know we have acceded to genuine adulthood  when we can hold out a protective hand to our  

當我們能夠向自己的孩子伸出保護之手時，我們就會知道我們已經進入了真正的成年。

frail younger self - and reassure them that we  will from now on be their reliable guardians and  

並向他們保證，從現在起，我們將成為他們可靠的監護人和保護者。

protectors and allow them to visit us for  a cuddle and a play whenever they need to.

保護者，並允許他們在需要的時候到我們這裡來抱一抱，玩一玩。