Still riding to work on a machine, I see!

還在騎著機器工作，我明白了!

Don't say anything, Squidward, remember your karma.

什麼都不要說，章魚哥，記住你的業力。

What? [groaning]

什麼？[呻吟聲]

Well, what do you think?

那麼，你怎麼看？

Do ya love it?

你喜歡它嗎？

Mr. Tentacles, I simply cannot express

觸角先生，我根本無法表達

my true feelings about your work.

我對你工作的真實感受。

Yes, I realize

是的，我意識到

my artistic brilliance can be overwhelming.

我的藝術光輝可能是壓倒性的。

Quite frankly... [sniffing]

坦率地說...[聞]

It stinks!

它很臭!

Yes, and-- Now, see here!

是的，還有......現在，看這裡！

Maybe this museum is too low-brow

也許這個博物館太低級趣味了

for this masterpiece.

為這一傑作。

[gasping] How dare you! Be gone!

[喘氣] 你怎麼敢！消失吧！

[groaning]

[呻吟聲]

And take your putrid painting with you!

帶上你那幅腐爛的畫!

It has no place in this museum's art collection!

它在這個博物館的藝術收藏中沒有任何地位!

Won't anyone save my precious painting?!

難道沒有人救救我的寶貝畫嗎？

Got it!

知道了!

SpongeBob.

海綿寶寶。

It's empty.

它是空的。

See? Empty.

看到了嗎？空的。

Wow, Squidward, how'd you know that?

哇，章魚哥，你怎麼知道的？

Well, let's see. Maybe 'cause I have a brain.

嗯，讓我想想。也許是因為我有腦子。

Oh. Squidward, the grill is on.

哦。章魚哥，燒烤開始了。

Oh, really?

哦，真的嗎？

And do you think I don't know that this grill is--

你以為我不知道這個烤架是... ...

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

I gotta do something!

我得做點什麼!

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Okay, Squidward, this should help.

好了，章魚哥，這應該有幫助。

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Don't worry, Squidward! I'll catch you!

別擔心，章魚哥！我會抓住你的！

[groaning]

[呻吟聲]

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Uh. I can fix this.

呃，我可以解決這個問題。

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

This time I gotcha!

這一次我抓住了你!

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

[gasping]

[喘息聲]

[mumbling]

[喃喃自語]

[singing]

[歌聲]

[growling]

[咆哮聲]

If I'm not allowed to be cool anymore

如果我不再被允許變得很酷

then neither is SpongeBob.

那麼海綿寶寶也是如此。

[screaming and singing]

[尖叫聲和歌聲]

Uh. Uh-huh. [screaming]

嗯，嗯哼。[尖叫聲]

[screaming and singing]

[尖叫聲和歌聲]

Zoop, zop, zlim, zlam, jam! Bam!

Zoop, zop, zlim, zlam, jam!Bam!

It's about time you got here!

你是時候到這裡了!

Here you go, Your Majesty.

給你，陛下。

- I can't drink that. - Why not?

- 我不能喝這個。- 為什麼不能？

Are you blind? Just look at it.

你瞎了嗎？看看就知道了。

What about it?

那怎麼辦？

That lemon has three seeds in it.

那個檸檬裡有三個種子。

That's an odd number!

這是個奇數!

I can't eat anything odd numbered.

我不能吃任何奇數的東西。

Fine, I'll just take it out.

好吧，我就把它拿出來。

No! No! It's already contaminated

不！不！它已經被汙染了

by the bad lemon! It won't work!

由壞檸檬!它不會工作!

Hmm, that's two things in this house that won't work.

嗯，這是這所房子裡的兩樣東西，不會起作用。

Then go fix them.

然後去修理它們。

Two things that won't work!

有兩件事是行不通的!

I've changed my mind. I want soup instead.

我改變了主意。我想喝湯。

Okay, don't move.

好的，不要動。

Here you go. It's alphabet soup. I made it special.

給你。這是字母湯。我把它弄得很特別。

[groaning]

[呻吟聲]

Condensed soup from a can? Disgusting!

罐裝的濃縮湯？太噁心了!

Now you've ruined my appetite! Go fetch me something to read!

現在你毀了我的胃口！去給我拿點東西來讀吧！

Oh, okay. How about this?

哦，好的。這個怎麼樣？

[gasping]

[喘息聲]

Get that away from me!

把它從我身邊拿開！

You know I'm allergic to newsprint!

你知道我對新聞紙過敏!

Haha. Ya know, when you swatted that newspaper out of my hands,

哈哈。你知道，當你把報紙從我手中拍掉的時候。

it reminded me of something a friend of mine did...

這讓我想起了我的一個朋友所做的事情......

at his job!

在他的工作!

[horn blowing]

[喇叭聲]

Four o'clock, time for my stories.

四點鐘，我的故事時間到了。

Hurry up, they won't hold the show

快一點，他們不會舉行表演的。

while you laze around.

當你閒逛的時候。

[whistling]

[口哨聲]

Hey, where you going?

嘿，你要去哪裡？

To my job.

為了我的工作。

You have a job?

你有工作嗎？

Why wouldn't I? I'm not some lazy,

我為什麼不呢？我不是什麼懶人。

inconsiderate jerk who lays in bed all day.

整天躺在床上的不體諒人的混蛋。

Say, where can I get one of these... jobs?

說，我在哪裡可以得到一個這樣的......工作？

Oh, they're everywhere.

哦，他們無處不在。

Especially if you're green and have six tentacles.

特別是如果你是綠色的，有六條觸角。

Thanks. I'm gonna go look for one, so I can stop mooching

謝謝。我要去找一個，這樣我就可以不再揩油了。

off my friends and they can get back

我的朋友們，他們可以回去了

to their lives!

對他們的生活有好處!

This isn't my show.

這不是我的節目。

SpongeBob, the remote control is broken!

海綿寶寶，遙控器壞了！

Get over here and fix it!

到這裡來，把它修好！

I've got a better idea!

我有一個更好的主意!

Why don't I call someone whose job it is to fix it?

我為什麼不給那些負責修理的人打電話呢？

You know why? Because when I need a job done,

你知道為什麼嗎？因為當我需要完成一項工作時。

I get someone with a job to do that job!

我找一個有工作的人去做那份工作!

What are you saying?

你在說什麼？

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Hey, Squidward, you want me to cast out

嘿，章魚哥，你想讓我投出去嗎？

over here so you can watch me?

在這裡，所以你可以看我？

How about you cast out over there so I can ignore you?

你投到那邊去怎麼樣，我就可以忽略你了？

Okay.

好的。

[groaning]

[呻吟聲]

Hey, watch where you're swinging that--

嘿，注意你揮舞的地方 --

SpongeBob, be careful with--

海綿寶寶，小心...

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Doesn't that smell good, SpongeBob?

這不是很好聞嗎，海綿寶寶？

You haven't eaten in days.

你已經好幾天沒吃東西了。

What about you, Patrick?

你呢，帕特里克？

A big boy's gotta eat.

一個大男孩要吃東西。

Well, you can't have any. And do you know why, SpongeBob?

嗯，你不能擁有任何東西。而你知道為什麼嗎，海綿寶寶？

Because your club president is a shell!

因為你的俱樂部主席是個空殼!

If you had listened to me, you'd have food, shelter,

如果你聽了我的話，你就會有食物、住所。

and a roaring fire.

和熊熊燃燒的火焰。

But instead you listened to a talking clam...

但你卻聽了一個會說話的蛤蜊...

that tells you nothing!

這說明不了什麼!

As if the answers to all your problems

彷彿你所有問題的答案

will fall right out of the sky! [laughing]

會從天上掉下來![笑聲]

Fall right out of the sky!

直接從天上掉下來!

Dude, we're falling right out of the sky!

老兄，我們正從天上掉下來呢！？

We gotta drop the load!

我們得放下包袱！

[beeping]

[嗶嗶聲]

Praise the Magic Conch!

讚美神奇的海螺!

[babbling]

[胡言亂語]

I spent the whole day with you

我和你度過了一整天

doing all kinds of ridiculous things,

做各種荒謬的事情。

because you were supposed to explode!

因為你本來就應該爆炸的！

You want me to explode?

你想讓我爆炸嗎？

Yes! That's what I've been waiting for!

是的!這就是我一直在等待的東西!

Um, okay. I'll try.

嗯，好的。我試試吧。

[grunting]

[咕嚕聲]

Gary, you are gonna finish your dessert

加里，你要吃完你的甜點

and you are gonna like it! [laughing]

而你會喜歡它的![笑聲]

Now it's your turn.

現在輪到你了。

That's not what I meant, you barnacle-head!

我不是這個意思，你這個藤壺頭！

Ooh, good one.

哦，好主意。

No! You're supposed to explode into a million pieces!

不！你應該爆炸成一百萬塊！你應該爆炸成一百萬塊！"。

Why would I do that?

我為什麼要這樣做？

Because the pie you ate was a bomb.

因為你吃的餡餅是個炸彈。

What pie?

什麼餡餅？

The one I left sitting on the counter this morning,

我今天早上放在櫃檯上的那張。

that I bought from pirates for 25 bucks

我花了25美元從海盜那裡買的。

and I didn't know it was a bomb

我不知道這是個炸彈

and you ate it... that pie!

你吃了......那個餡餅!

Pie? Oh! You mean this pie!

餡餅？哦！你是說這個派！？

I was saving it in my pocket for us to share.

我把它保存在我的口袋裡，以便我們分享。

Let's eat. Oops!

讓我們吃吧。咦！？