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  • I'm sorry about your toe.

  • Thank you.

  • But I'm especially sorry that you delivered what have been--

  • I did a similar, very similar thing to my toe,

  • although it sounds much less pretty.

  • Everything about what happened to you

  • sounds like it was in a nice environment.

  • Well there was a gym, first of all.

  • Right.

  • And art.

  • And mine happened in a hallway on a very unspecial cat

  • scratcher.

  • You know, the cat activity thing,

  • which has been there for a very long time.

  • Do you have a cat?

  • Yes.

  • And you don't know the name-- "cat activity thing?"

  • Well, it's an unspecified object.

  • It's as if someone just took an old cardboard box

  • and put the corrugated thing inside, and then told me

  • it was special.

  • Well, no--

  • No, that's just a box.

  • That's just-- is that my cat?

  • That's not a cat.

  • Oh, that's my cat!

  • Well I wasn't expecting to see my cat on national television.

  • That's Jemmy.

  • And I'm not mad at Jemmy.

  • When it happened.

  • But why, when you hurt your toe, are you angry?

  • When you hurt your toe specifically,

  • why are you angry?

  • Why is one angry at everybody else?

  • But I think that's a unique injury--

  • Because it's not any other digit.

  • Like your finger, you don't get mad at the thing.

  • Because I dislocated my finger, and I wasn't mad at the door.

  • But when you hurt your toe, you're mad at--

  • --at that thing.

  • But also, God forbid anyone should cross your path

  • when it happens.

  • Anyway, we don't have to spend time further on this.

  • Well it sounds-- no, no, we should.

  • Because first of all, that is not a cat device.

  • It's a box.

  • No, I know.

  • That's true.

  • That's true.

  • And that's not how we keep her.

  • That's not what she thinks of as her home--

  • And is that what you tripped over?

  • --or shelter.

  • No.

  • That is purposeful.

  • That is a box.

  • That is a thing that has a place in the world.

  • This is something I bought.

  • You know, we love this--

  • we're crazy about this cat.

  • Doesn't seem like it.

  • No, I know.

  • You're hearing-- oh, there's Jemmy again.

  • Yeah, we have a camera in your house.

  • No, I don't know what it is.

  • You guys know.

  • I don't want to waste more of America's time,

  • or any real estate here, frankly.

  • OK.

  • But you're OK.

  • You stubbed your toe.

  • I'm all right, basically.

  • But it's taken a long time for my toe to--

  • are they doing this to me?

  • No, not at all.

  • Are they making her, like, make her stop.

  • No, they're doing this to you.

  • Exactly.

  • I was getting to that.

  • I was getting to that.

  • Are they saying, like, she's nuts.

  • She's nuts.

  • Yes, like, just go along with it, Ellen.

  • Do you guys miss the mimes now?

  • And you're like, oh no, there's one thing I do like less.

  • A conversation with that one.

  • Did you fly-- Sarah Jessica, did you fly out for this?

  • I did.

  • I did.

  • All right.

  • All right.

  • Who just asked that question?

  • Now I'm being you.

  • I'm doing your interior monologue.

  • Oh, I see.

  • What you think what I'm saying inside?

  • Yeah.

  • Good lord, did we fly her out or did somebody else fly her out?

  • No, I'm so happy you're here.

  • You know that.

  • I'm really happy to see you, too.

  • And I want to know--

  • I really am.

  • I mean, I don't say it like, yeah.

  • No, I am.

  • I'm really happy to see you looking well and--

  • Yeah, I'm happy to see you, as well.

  • Really happy.

  • So you live in New York and you don't come out here that much.

  • So I don't see you unless it's on the East Coast or something.

  • That's right.

  • And I want to know about Sex in the City if you don't mind.

  • What do you want--

  • Well, here's what I want to know.

  • It was going to happen, then it wasn't going to happen.

  • Then I think it was going to happen,

  • then you asked Stephen Colbert to be a part of it.

  • Correct.

  • Well, he sort of--

  • he put me in a tough place.

  • Yeah.

  • So you kind of had to ask him.

  • So I said, oh, sure, you play Samantha.

  • Right.

  • But now I'll offer you the same opportunity.

  • I'm going to go across the lands--

  • To ask everyone?

  • And any hosts.

  • But is that the situation?

  • So she's not coming back.

  • But will you-- can still do it without her, right?

  • Yeah.

  • I think there's a period of grief.

  • Yes.

  • A mourning process.

  • Yes.

  • And then perhaps we'll be able to consider, say, for instance,

  • you playing Samantha.

  • That's so me.

  • Yeah.

  • That's who I identify with on that show.

  • That's it.

  • If you could be any char-- ooh, yes.

  • Yeah, right.

  • That is me.

  • I am a sexual beast.

  • And then you like to talk about it a lot, right?

  • I talk about it a lot, I do it a lot.

  • In salty language.

  • Yeah.

  • This is a facade.

  • When you meet me as a real person out in the world--

  • this is my talk show persona.

  • So first of all, let's just answer the question.

  • Is there going to be a Sex in the City?

  • Three?

  • Yeah.

  • No, but there will be a Sex in the City 4.

  • Wouldn't that be hilarious?

  • Just jump in.

  • Yeah.

  • Just skip it.

  • You know what?

  • I don't know.

  • Last week I said no.

  • Because the reality is, it's a brutal companion.

  • But I feel like maybe--

  • I don't know.

  • I just got to make up an answer, because I

  • have absolutely no idea.

  • If you don't know, you don't know.

  • You know, who knows?

  • All right.

  • Yeah, who knows.

  • Who knows?

  • Who knows, perhaps--

  • You should know.

  • --we'll find a way.

  • Right now, I don't know.

  • You don't know.

  • All right.

  • So let's talk about Divorce.

  • OK.

  • So you're finally--

  • That I feel more certain of.

  • OK, good.

  • Then you're finally divorced.

  • Correct.

  • And it's called the upbeat season.

  • Why is that upbeat, to be divorced?

  • I guess it's good if--

  • It's a season of hope.

  • Yes.

  • Why is it the up-- well, I guess because, I think when you have

  • been in combat in that particular way for so long,

  • the idea of this kind of liberation--

  • like what you imagine it will be,

  • like what will life provide now that you are alone and you can

  • sort of live the life that you always imagined--

  • I think in the beginning that seems promising.

  • Yes.

  • And it can be a beautiful thing if it's the right--

  • but I think for most people, it's really scary.

  • Because you know one thing, and you have a companion,

  • and whether that's combative or not,

  • you have this relationship that all of a sudden you don't.

  • And it's--

  • I think it's very unsettling.

  • And even if it's something you want,

  • I think what many people discover

  • is that it feels like it's the undoing.

  • You know?

  • It's a great area to explore.

  • I think it's really smart that you're doing this show.

  • Thanks.

  • Can I show this video that you put on Instagram?

  • Because I want to talk to you about it.

  • Oh lord.

  • Let's just--

  • OK.

  • Oh.

  • So there's mugs from just about every place you've ever been,

  • right?

  • I mean, like, let's name-- there was Seth Meyers just now.

  • There's even MSNBC.

  • That's an attractive one.

  • Zabar's.

  • Duplicates, triplicates.

  • I feel like I'm about to be punished or--

  • Well, I'm just looking for mine.

  • I'm just-- there's a lot.

  • There's Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show.

  • I mean, that MSNBC is attractive,

  • but it's not the best mug.

  • There's a lot to criticize.

  • And trust me, people feel very comfortable criticizing me

  • about that.

  • I'm not criticizing.

  • The two times I've had a mug from your show,

  • I think I've probably given them to people who would never

  • have the chance to meet you.

  • That's my real guess.

  • And I said, you know what, on behalf of all the Americans

  • who never would have this exchange,

  • I'm going to give that mug away to somebody

  • who has been devoted to you for a lot of years.

  • And that's where I think that mug is.

  • I think that mug could be anywhere from St. Louis to--

  • Shh.

  • And I'm not mad.

  • I'm hurt.

  • Are you certain that I had a--

  • when did I have the mug?

  • But now, when you had mentioned the mimes,

  • I'm kind of going back to that now and realizing--

  • Here's what I want to do.

  • Oh my god.

  • This is too heavy for me to lift.

  • Wait a minute.

  • Can I help you?

  • No.

  • It's too late now.

  • Lift from the legs!

  • Lift from the legs!

  • So you're going to have--

  • Oh my god.

  • Oh my god.