Name: 為什麼你的親戚們總是顯擺自誇？以及該怎麼讓他們閉嘴？（Bragging: Why People Brag? Is Bragging Good or bad?How about humble bragging? How to stop doing it?）
Uploaded: 2021-06-03T20:12:40.000Z
Duration: 9 min

Let me know if this sounds familiar: In a family gathering, your cousin asked you what

以下情形是否似曾相似呢：在一次家庭聚會中，你堂兄問

程度副詞

You respond with enthusiasm, “ I just got a job offer as a Social Media Assistant.”

你熱情地回答：“我剛剛得到了一份社交媒體助理的工作機會。”

Little did you know, instead of being happy for you, he replies "Oh, Social Media Assistant,

沒想到的是，他並沒有為你感到高興，而是回答說：“哦，社交媒體助理，

I guess not everyone can get an engineer position at a Fortune 500 company as I did."

我想不是每個人都能像我一樣在「財富 500 強公司」（Fortune 500）當工程師。”

And he keeps on talking about how awesome He is for hours non-stop until everyone around

然後呢，在接下來的好幾小時，他不停地談論他是多麼的棒，直到他

周圍的每個人都無聊至死為止。

Then you start wondering, why people do that?

你開始想，為什麼人們會這樣？

Hi, I am Shao, Welcome to what people also ask, where I search something seemingly obvious on Google

嗨，我是Shao，歡迎來到「別人Google了什麼」，在此節目上我會在谷歌上搜索一些看似明顯的東西，

and share with you some of its PAAs, aka People Also Ask, which is a feature telling you what

並與你分享一些它的 PAA，又名「別人也問了啥」，這是一個功能，告訴你

other people are searching on Google that relates to your query.

其他人在谷歌上搜索什麼與您的所查詢的關鍵詞相關的問題。

今天的關鍵詞是「顯擺自誇」。

We will talk about why people brag, is it okay to brag, and most importantly, how to

我們將討論人們為什麼顯擺自誇，顯擺自誇是否ＯＫ，還有最重要的是，如何

deal with your bragging relative in a family gathering.

處理家庭聚會中顯擺自誇的親戚們。

So let's start with our first PAA: Why do people brag?

那麼讓我們從我們的第一個 PAA 開始：人們為什麼顯擺自誇？

The answer is extracted from an article titled"The Psychology of Bragging" published by Counselling

Connection, which is the official blog of the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors,

發表的一篇題為“自誇的心理學”的文章 ，該文章是澳大利亞專業諮詢師協會的官方部落格，該協會

which is an organization providing education in counseling.

According to this article, when people shared information about themselves, the same areas

根據這篇文章，當人們分享關於自己的信息時， 大腦中

of the brain activated as those that light up when we are eating food or having sex!

有一個我們在吃東西或做愛時才會激活的區域就會被激活！

By the way, This article did not do a very good job revealing the source of this information

順道一提，這篇文章並沒有很好地揭示這些信息的來源，

but I believe they are referring to research published in Proceedings of the National Academy

of Sciences in 2012 titled "Disclosing information about the self is intrinsically rewarding"

發表在美國國家科學院院刊上的研究 ，題為“披露關於自我的信息行為本身即為獎勵動機”

So here you go, people are bragging because it feels good, not surprising at all.

所以囉，人們顯擺自誇是因為這麼做感覺很好，一點也不驚訝。

But I think the real question here is why they don't know they are annoying while they

但我認為這裡真正的問題是為什麼他們在這樣做時不知道自己很煩

行為科學家 Irene Scopelliti 和她在倫敦城市大學

Irene Scopelliti, a behavioral scientist, and her colleagues at the City University

的同事在 2015 年發表在《心理科學》雜誌上的一項研究中探索了這個問題

of London exploring this issue in a 2015 research published in the journal Psychological Science

，他們要求受試者提供關於他們自己的自我介紹。

where they asked subjects to provide a profile about themselves.

個人資料寫手被要求評價他們認為自己的

Profile writers were asked to rate how interesting they believed their profiles would appear

個人資料在他人眼中的有趣程度。

另一方面，個人資料“評分者”，閱讀個人資料並根據它們的有趣程度對它們進行評分。

Profile “raters” , on the other hand, then read the profiles and rated them on how interesting they were.

調查結果表明，寫手的預測與評分者對檔案的喜愛程度

The findings showed that there was zero correlation between the profile providers' predictions

and how much the raters did like the profiles.

自我介紹寫手大大高估了他們的簡介在 他人眼中的

The profile writer significantly overpredicts how interesting their profiles are in the

所以你討厭的親戚可能不知道他們顯擺自誇時是多麼無聊和煩人

So your annoying relatives likely do not know how boring and annoying they are when they

，他們甚至可能認為他們正在分享一些非常有趣的東西

are bragging, they might even be thinking they are sharing something very interesting

好在這篇文章也分享了很多阻止他們的小竅門，我會在影片描述中

Fortunately, this article also shared a lot of tips to stop them, I will put the link

放鏈接 ，但以下是我最喜歡的一招：你也自誇一下，然後自我糾正，

in the description, but the following is my favorite: Boast about yourself, then self-correct,

好像突然意識到這聽起來有多不恰當。

as if suddenly realizing how bad it sounds.

比如：“哦，對不起；我想我一直在自誇，如果我們不這樣做

Like: “Oh, excuse me; I guess I've been bragging, and it's probably better if we

可能會更好 ；因為自誇只會讓別人感覺不好”。

don't do that; it only makes others feel bad”.

自誇顯擺的人讓人覺得噁心，但你知道嗎？

Braggers make people cringe, but you know what?

那些自誇者實際上並不像他們表現出來的那樣對自己有自信。

Those braggers are actually not as confident about themselves as they make it out to be.

讓我們談談我們的下一個 PAA：自誇的人是不是很沒有自信？

Let's talk about our next PAA: Are people who brag a lot insecure?

PAA 的回答是一篇題為“一個人沒有自信的4 個跡象”的文章， 發表於

The PAA answered by an article titled "4 Signs That Someone Is Insecure" published by Psychology

，其是一家專注於心理學和人類行為的媒體組織。

Today which is a media organization with a focus on psychology and human behavior.

在本文中，作者 、馬薩諸塞大學阿默斯特分校心理與腦科學

In this article, the author Dr.Susan Whitbourne who is a Professor Emerita of Psychological

榮譽教授 Susan Whitbourne 博士 指出，缺乏安全感的人

and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst points out that insecure people are

1. 他們在自誇以說服自己他們真的這樣做了有價值。

1.They are bragging to convince themselves that they really do have worth.

2.他們試圖讓「你」感到沒有自信。

2.They try to make you feel insecure yourself.

這樣的話他們就可以把他們的不安全感投射到你身上。

So they can project their insecurities onto you.

對於那些不知道的人我解釋一下，心理投射是一種常見的防禦機制，它涉及將

For those who don't know, Psychological projection is a common defense mechanism that involves

不想要的情緒或感覺投射到他人身上，而不是承認

projecting undesirable feelings or emotions onto someone else, rather than admitting to

or dealing with the unwanted feelings yourself.

當然，你不會想成為那些討厭的人之一，但自誇一定是不好的嗎？

Obviously, you don't want to be one of those annoying people, but is bragging always bad?

讓我們談談我們的下一個 PAA：自誇是好是壞？

Let's talk about our next PAA: Is bragging good or bad?

《華爾街日報》題為“什麼時候可以自誇？”的文章對此進行了回答。

Answered by Wall Street Journal's article titled "When Is It OK to Brag?"

這篇文章引用了 2016 年發表在《社會心理學》上的研究。

This article cited research published in Social Psychology in 2016.

研究結果發現 ，與保持謙虛的 人相比 ，自誇者被認為更有能力但道德感更差

The results found Braggarts are viewed as more competent but less moral than people

who remain humble, except if their bragging is unsubstantiated.

在沒有證據的情況下，他們不僅被視為能力不足，而且同時還不道德。

In that case, they are seen as not only less competent but also immoral.

另一方面，不吹噓的人被視為有道德但無能。

People who don't brag, on the other hand, are seen as moral but incompetent.

問問自己這個問題：‘在特定情況下，我更在意被視為有能力

Ask yourself this question: 'In this situation do I care more about being seen as competent

還有如果我選擇自誇，我是否有證據支持我將要自誇的東西？

And do I have evidence to back up what I am about to brag if I chose to brag?'

如果您正在參加工作面試，並且您擁有所有真實的認證、作品集和

If you're on a job interview, and you have all the real certifications, portfolios, and

您做過的真實項目，那麼您當然應該吹噓一下。

real projects you have done, then of course you should brag a little bit.

但如果你在約會並且你知道你約會的人重視善良的人格，那麼最好

But if you're on a date and you know the person you are dating values kindness, it is better

永遠不要自誇一些不真實的東西，因為你最終會被認為

And never brag about something that is not real, because you will end up being perceived

as not only immoral but also incompetent.

好的，所以有些情況你應該/可以自誇，有些情況你不應該自誇。

Okay, so there are situations that you should/can brag and situations you shouldn't brag.

我們來談談如何用我們接下來的兩個PAA來看看兩種情況各要怎麼做，讓我們從第 一個

Let's talk about how to do each of them with our next two PAA, let's start with the first

開始 ：我們如何克服愛炫耀的人性？

one: How can we overcome show-off nature?

這個問題的答案 摘自 Nathawat Brothers 發表

The answer to this question is extracted from an article titled "Showing off?

的一篇題為“炫耀？ 我們為什麼這樣做以及如何停止”的文章，該網站提供各種

Why we do it & how to stop" published by Nathawat Brothers which a website providing self-improvement

根據這篇文章，有一種情況是我們不應該自誇的：當我們自誇來

According to this article, there is one situation that we shouldn't brag: when we are bragging

停止自誇的最好方法是意識到自己的自誇行為

And the best way to stop doing it is to be conscious about yourself's bragging behavior

，每當你認為你可能開始自誇時問自己兩個問題： 問題

by asking yourself two questions whenever you think you might start to brag : Question

問題 2：它是否能幫助您最好地展示自己。

Question 2: Does it help you present yourself at best.

如果這些問題的答案是：我這樣做是為了讓其他人感到難過或

If the answer to these questions is: I am doing it to make other people feel bad or

好的，所以以上是當您認為自誇可能不是一個好主意時的建議

Okay, so the above is the advice when you think bragging might not be a good idea.

但正如我們已經討論過的，有些情況你應該自誇。

But as we have established, there are situations you should brag.

但是你如何以一種社會可接受的方式自誇呢？

But how do you brag in a socially acceptable way?

答案 摘自心理治療師艾米·莫林 (Amy Morin) 撰寫的《福布斯》(Forbes) 出版的

The answer is extracted from an article titled "7 Ways To Talk About Your Accomplishments

題為“7 種方式來談論您的成就而不會聽起來像個吹牛逼”的文章。

Without Sounding Like A Braggart" published by Forbes written by Psychotherapist Amy Morin.

1.始終強調你的「努力」。 避免說“哦，那很容易”