Authoritarian parents are controlling and demand obedience without considering the child's

專制的父母是控制型的，要求孩子服從，而不考慮孩子的情況。

point of view.

觀點。

Permissive parents are loving, but don't exert any control.

縱容型的父母有愛心，但不施加任何控制。

There are no rules.

沒有任何規則。

Authoritative parents who are firm but loving.

有權威的父母，他們堅定但有愛心。

They encourage independence, within limits.

他們鼓勵獨立，但要有限度。

Neglecting parents are uninvolved and often uninterested in their own child.

忽視的父母不參與，往往對自己的孩子不感興趣。

Recently a 5th style was proposed, but we will come back to that later.

最近，有人提出了第五種風格，但我們將在以後再來討論這個問題。

The styles range from controlling and demanding, to complete freedom; and from cold and unresponsive

風格從控制和要求，到完全的自由；從冷漠和無反應，到完全的自由。

to loving and receptive.

到愛和接受。

Each, authoritative, permissive, authoritarian and neglectful parents, have their place.

每個人，權威的、放任的、專制的和忽視的父母，都有他們的位置。

To understand what it means to grow up with parents from each end of the spectrum, we

為了瞭解與來自光譜兩端的父母一起成長意味著什麼，我們

can imagine the lives of four children.

可以想象四個孩子的生活。

Sara's parents are Authoritarian.

薩拉的父母是獨裁者。

They love their girl, but they believe that strict rules are important to make Sara become

他們愛他們的女孩，但他們認為，嚴格的規則對使薩拉成為

well behaved and fit into the society.

行為良好，適應社會。

If Sara cries, she's told to stop.

如果薩拉哭了，她會被告知停止。

If she talks back, she is sent to the corner for timeout.

如果她頂嘴，她就會被送到角落裡暫停訓練。

If she forgets to take care of her chores around the house, she is not allowed to play

如果她忘記處理家裡的雜事，就不允許她去玩。

with her toys.

與她的玩具。

Sara learns that suppressing her emotions and following her duties is the way to get

薩拉了解到，壓抑自己的情緒和履行職責是獲得成功的途徑。

through the day.

通過一天的時間。

To get the love of her parents, and to avoid making them upset, she becomes obedient.

為了得到父母的愛，為了避免讓他們不高興，她變得很聽話。

However, because Sara was never allowed to decide for herself or follow her intrinsic

然而，由於薩拉從未被允許為自己做決定或遵循她內在的

interests, as an adult, she doesn't know what she really wants.

利益，作為一個成年人，她不知道自己真正想要什麼。

She begins living a life that seems perfect to her parents and society, but might leave

她開始過著在父母和社會看來完美的生活，但可能會離開

her unhappy on the inside.

她的內心是不快樂的。

Permissive parents , like those of Peter, love their little boy so much that they believe

放任的父母，如彼得的父母，非常愛他們的小男孩，以至於他們相信

they should fulfill all his wishes, give him full freedom and never say “no”.

他們應該滿足他的所有願望，給他充分的自由，永遠不要說 "不"。

Peter enjoys full control over his parents and gets whatever he wants.

彼得享有對其父母的完全控制權，並得到他想要的任何東西。

If he doesn't want to walk, he'll be carried.

如果他不想走，就會被抬走。

If he wants ice-cream, ice-cream he gets.

如果他想吃冰激凌，就給他吃冰激凌。

If he wants to play games, he'll be playing them all night.

如果他想玩遊戲，他就會整晚都在打遊戲。

Peter grows up completely without borders and does whatever he thinks is right.

彼得在成長過程中完全沒有邊界，做任何他認為正確的事情。

He never coped with conflict and he did not learn to control his emotions.

他從未應對過沖突，也沒有學會控制自己的情緒。

The fact that he always got what he wanted made him a bad loser.

他總是得到他想要的東西這一事實使他成為一個糟糕的失敗者。

As he grows older he often acts inconsiderate and doesn't know his limits.

隨著年齡的增長，他經常表現得不顧一切，不知道自己的極限。

Arthur's Authoritative parents respect their child's needs, but believe that kids need

亞瑟的權威型父母尊重孩子的需求，但認為孩子需要

freedom within certain limits.

在一定範圍內的自由。

Arthur can freely play, but when he's done, he needs to help tidy up.

亞瑟可以自由玩耍，但當他完成後，他需要幫助整理。

He is allowed to eat ice cream, but only on Sundays.

他被允許吃冰激凌，但只在週日。

Screen-time is limited to 30 minutes a day.

每天的螢幕時間限制在30分鐘以內。

There may be conflict, but the parents listen to what Arthur has to say and then lay down

可能會有衝突，但父母會聽取亞瑟的意見，然後躺下。

the rules.

的規則。

However, they don't give in, nor do they use rewards or punishments.

然而，他們並不屈服，也不使用獎勵或懲罰措施。

Arthur learns that some things are difficult, but his parents give him all the support he

亞瑟瞭解到有些事情是困難的，但他的父母給了他所有的支持。

needs to get through it.

需要通過它。

He develops the strength to endure hardships and to continue following his interests and

他發展出忍受困難的力量，並繼續追隨他的興趣和愛好。

passions.

激情。

In class he bravely expresses his own opinions in an appropriate manner.

在課堂上，他勇敢地以適當的方式表達自己的觀點。

During breaks he can show his emotions and act freely.

在休息時間，他可以展示自己的情緒，自由行動。

As an adult he agrees to rules only after they have been discussed and he feels like

作為一個成年人，他只有在討論過規則後才會同意這些規則，而且他覺得

he understands them.

他理解他們。

Neglectful parents are usually not present in their children's life.

疏忽的父母通常不在孩子的生活中出現。

Nora often feels completely alone in the world.

諾拉經常感到在這個世界上完全孤獨。

She experiences full freedom to do anything she wants to and has plenty of imagination

她體驗到充分的自由，可以做任何她想做的事情，並且有足夠的想象力。

, but she never receives any feedback, affection, love or even attention.

但她從未收到任何反饋、感情、愛，甚至是關注。

Nora realizes that it doesn't matter what she does, because no one cares anyway.

諾拉意識到，她做什麼並不重要，因為反正沒有人在乎。

The lack of attention, leads to a lack of trust in herself and others.

缺乏關注，導致對自己和他人缺乏信任。

She becomes insecurely attached, unable to form healthy relationships and develops a

她變得沒有安全感，無法形成健康的關係，並形成了一個

negative image of herself.

自己的負面形象。

To stop feeling unworthy of love , she tries not to feel anything at all.

為了不再覺得自己不值得被愛，她試著不去感受任何東西。

In recent years, over-Involved parents, who are present in every aspect of their child's

近年來，過度參與的父母，他們在孩子的每一個方面都有參與。

life, are often referred to as the 5th style.

生活，通常被稱為第五風格。

These parents are also known as 'snow plows', removing obstacles out of their kids' path,

這些父母也被稱為 "剷雪機"，為他們的孩子清除障礙。

or 'helicopter' parents, who hover about and micro-manage every aspect of their child's

或 "直升機 "父母，他們徘徊在孩子的每一個方面並進行微觀管理。

life.

生活。

Since they won't let their children do anything alone, the children can't learn to overcome

由於他們不讓孩子們單獨做任何事情，孩子們無法學會克服

challenges by themselves.

自己的挑戰。

Research infers that these children don't like to solve difficult problems , lack perseverance

研究推斷，這些孩子不喜歡解決困難的問題，缺乏毅力。

and may even procrastinate in protest when something requires a lot of effort.

而且當某件事情需要付出大量努力時，甚至可能拖延以示抗議。

Since most research on parenting is based on self-reports and was done in the US and

由於大多數關於養育子女的研究都是基於自我報告，並且是在美國和中國進行的。

Europe, it is not clear how strong the observed effects will hold up in controlled observational

歐洲，目前還不清楚觀察到的效果在受控的觀察中會有多強。

experiments or in other parts of the word.

實驗或在其他地方的字。

The four parenting styles were first introduced by Psychologist Diana Baumrind.

這四種養育方式是由心理學家戴安娜-鮑姆林德首次提出的。

For good parenting she advised: “balance of demandingness and responsiveness".

為了做好父母的工作，她建議。"平衡要求和迴應"。

Add to that the wise words of Maria Montessori to “Never help a child with a task at which

此外，瑪麗亞-蒙特梭利（Maria Montessori）的明智之言是："永遠不要幫助孩子完成一項任務。

he feels he can succeed.”

他覺得他能成功。"

and parents should probably do pretty well.

和父母可能應該做得很好。

What do you think?

你怎麼看？

Should parents resort to a specific style or should they decide what's best to do in

家長應該採用特定的風格，還是應該決定什麼是最好的做法，在

a given situation — as long as they don't neglect or abuse their child.

在特定情況下--只要他們不忽視或虐待他們的孩子。

To download this video without background music and learn more about the topic, visit

要下載這個沒有背景音樂的視頻，並瞭解更多關於這個主題的資訊，請訪問

sproutsschools.com

萌芽學校.com

For a free masterclass on attachment parenting, see the link in the descriptions below.

關於依戀式育兒的免費大師班，請看下面描述中的鏈接。