EVERYBODY.

每個人。

EASTER IS NEXT WEEKEND WHEN WE CELEBRATE JESUS' MIRACULOUS

下個週末是復活節，我們要慶祝耶穌的神奇。

RISING BY GOING TO BRURCH AND SEEING IF WE CAN STILL STAND UP

崛起的方式是去佈道所，看看我們是否還能站起來。

AFTER A BOTTOMLESS MIMIMOSSA AND WAFFLE BAR.

在一個無底的MIMIMOSSA和華夫棒之後。

THERE ARE PLENTY OF PAINTED EGGS, CHOCOLATES, AND ALSO

這裡有大量的彩蛋、巧克力，還有

EASTER CARDS.

EASTER CARDS.

BUT ALL GREETING CARDS HAD TO START SOMEWHERE AND THE PEOPLE

但所有的賀卡都得從某處開始，而人們

WHO WRITE THEM DON'T ALWAYS NAIL IT ON THE FIRST TRY.

寫這些東西的人不總是在第一次嘗試時就能成功。

WHICH IS WHY TONIGHT WE'RE TAKING A LOOK AT SOME EARLY

這就是為什麼今晚我們要看看一些早期的。

EFFORTS IN OUR SEGMENT, "FIRST DRAFTS."

我們部門的努力，"第一稿"。

>> NO, NO!

>> 不，不！

STUPID!

愚蠢的！

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: OF COURSE, FOR ALL

當然，對所有人來說

FIRST DRAFTS, I NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM THE AUDIENCE.

第一稿，我需要一個觀眾的志願者。

AND THE ONLY AUDIENCE I EVER HAVE ANY MORE AND THE ONLY ONE I

也是我唯一的聽眾了，也是我唯一的聽眾了。

WILL EVER NEED IS MY WIFE, EVIE.

將永遠需要的是我的妻子，EVIE。

EVIE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.

EVIE，非常感謝你來這裡。

>> HERE I AM AGAIN.

>> 我又來了。

>> Stephen: I HAVE AN EASTER PRESENT FOR YOU.

>> 我有一個復活節禮物給你。

I'M SURE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S COMING.

我想你肯定不知道接下來會發生什麼。

( LAUGHTER ) HERE ARE MIMOSAS.

（笑）這裡有MIMOSAS。

THERE YOU GO.

你去那裡。

>> THAT'S SO EXCITING!

>> 這真是太激動人心了!

>> Stephen: I CAN'T TELL IT'S EITHER EASTER OR MOTHER'S DAY.

>> 史蒂芬：我不知道這是復活節還是母親節。

ONE OF THOSE TWO.

這兩個中的一個。

SHALL WE?

我們可以嗎？

>> YES.

>> 是。

>> Stephen: AHHH!

>> 史蒂芬：AHHH!

WELL.

好吧。

>> THAT'S GOOD.

>> 這很好。

>> Stephen: ISN'T THAT TASTY.

>> 史蒂芬：是不是很好吃。

YOU KNOW HOW THIS WORKS, EVIE, YOU'VE BEEN HERE MANY TIMES.

你知道怎麼做的，EVIE，你已經來過很多次了。

>> I DO.

>> 我願意。

I'M A PRO.

我是專業的。

>> Stephen: WE'RE GOING TO SHOW YOU SOME GREAT EASTER CARDS

>> 史蒂芬：我們將向你展示一些很棒的聖誕卡。

AND THE NOT-SO-GREAT FIRST DRAFTS.

和不那麼好的第一稿。

WOULD YOU MIND HOLDING ON TO THAT ONE RIGHT HERE.

你能幫我拿著這個嗎？

I'LL MOVE THIS SO WE DON'T SPILL ANYTHING.

我會移動這個，所以我們不灑任何東西。

FIRST OF ALL, I KNOW EASTER IS MAYBE YOUR FAVORITE HOLIDAY,

首先，我知道復活節可能是你最喜歡的節日。

RIGHT?

對吧？

>> I LOVE EASTER, YEAH.

>> 我愛復活節，是的。

>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT IT, EV?

>> 史蒂芬：你喜歡它的什麼，EV？

>> ASIDE FROM, YOU KNOW, CHRIST HAS RIZEN AND ALL THAT?

>> 除了，你知道的，基督已經死了之類的？

>> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY, OBVIOUSLY, OBVIOUSLY, AND THEN

>> 斯蒂芬: 顯然，顯然，顯然，顯然，然後。

WE ALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE AND THAT KIND OF STUFF.

我們都有永生之類的東西。

>> THERE'S CANDY.

>> 有糖果。

>> Stephen: THERE'S CANDY, AND IT'S SPRING.

>> 糖果在那裡，而且是春天。

>> SPRINGTIME.

>> 春天的時候。

>> Stephen: CAN I HAVE THE FIRST CARD?

>> 史蒂芬：我可以擁有第一張卡嗎？

HERE'S ONE THAT SAYS: THAT IS NICE.

這裡有一個說：這是很好的。

BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID: SORRY ABOUT THE LANGUAGE.

但第一稿說：抱歉，語言不通

SORRY ABOUT THE LANGUAGE.

對不起，語言。

>> THE TRUTH HURTS.

>> 真相很傷人。

>> Stephen: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.

>> 這不是關於你的。

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.

這不是你的問題。

I WOULD NEVER CALL YOU THAT WORD.

我永遠不會叫你那個字。

>> I HOPE NOT.

>> 我希望不是。

>> Stephen: I WOULD NOT.

>> 史蒂芬：我不會。

>> WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT EASTER?

>> 你最喜歡的復活節是什麼？

>> Stephen: MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT EASTER, THE CHOCOLATE?

>> Stephen: 我最喜歡的復活節，巧克力？

I GAVE UP CHOCOLATE THIS YEAR.

我今年放棄了巧克力。

>> I FORGOT THAT.

>> 我忘了。

>> Stephen: FOR LENT.

>> Stephen:四旬期。

THAT'S HOW HOLY I AM.

這就是我是多麼神聖的。

I GAVE UP CHOCOLATE.

我放棄了巧克力。

WHAT DID YOU GIVE UP?

你放棄了什麼？

( LAUGHTER ) DID YOU NOT GIVE UP ANYTHING?

你沒有放棄任何東西嗎？

IS THAT WHAT I'M FINDING OUT THAT YOU DIDN'T GIVE UP

這就是我發現你沒有放棄的原因嗎？

ANYTHING.

任何事情。

>> WELL, I MEAN -- >> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU GIVE

>> 我的意思是 -- >> 史蒂芬：你給了什麼？

UP?

UP？

>> I MEAN, ALCOHOL, MAYBE.

>> 我的意思是，酒精，也許。

>> Stephen: NO, YOU DIDN'T.

>> 史蒂芬：不，你沒有。

( LAUGHTER ) YOU'RE DRINKING CHAMPAGNE RIGHT

你在喝香檳酒，對吧？

NOW.

現在。

>> WELL, I MEAN, YOU KNOW.

>> 我的意思是，你知道的。

>> Stephen: "YOU KNOW" WHAT?

>> 史蒂芬："你知道 "什麼？

>> IT'S BEEN A HARD YEAR!

>> 這是一個艱難的一年！

I THINK WE GAVE UP HUGS.

我想我們已經放棄了擁抱。

WE GAVE UP KISSES.

我們放棄了親吻。

WE GAVE UP EVERYTHING.

我們放棄了一切。

I DIDN'T NEED TO GIVE UP ANYTHING ELSE.

我不需要放棄任何其他東西。

IT WAS HARD!

這很難！

( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I'M JUST SAYING,

( 笑 ) >> 史蒂芬: 我只是說說而已。

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HAS TO FACE YOUR MAKER.

你才是那個必須面對你的製造者的人。

NOT ME.

不是我。

OKAY?

好嗎？

HERE'S ONE: THAT'S THE KIND YOU LIKE.

這是一個。這就是你喜歡的類型。

THAT'S RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY.

這是對你有利的。

BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID: ( LAUGHTER )

但第一稿說， （笑）

>> I LIKE THAT IT'S SHELLY.

>> 我喜歡它的雪莉。

I GET THE WHOLE-- I GET THE WHOLE SHELL YOU.

我得到了整個 - 我得到了整個SHELL你。

>> Stephen: GET THE WHOLE IDEA?

>> 斯蒂芬：明白了整個想法嗎？

I'M GOING TO HAVE SOME OF MINE.

我也要來點我的。

THIS RIGHT HERE.

就在這裡。

>> YOU CERTAINLY DID NOT GIVE UP ALCOHOL FOR LENT, DID YOU.

>> 你肯定沒有放棄酒精的四旬期，是嗎。

>> Stephen: NO.

>> 史蒂芬：沒有。

ON ASH WEDNESDAY I SAID I'M GIVING UP ALCOHOL.

週三的時候，我說我要戒酒了。

THAT LASTED UNTIL THE EVENING AND I SAID CHOCOLATE IS ALSO

這持續到晚上，我說巧克力也是。

GOOD TO GIVE UP.

好放棄。

HERE'S A SWEET CARD: BUT THE FIRST DRAFT READ:

這裡有一張很好的卡片。但第一稿閱讀：

HERE'S A SWEET CARD: BUT THE FIRST DRAFT READ:

這裡有一張很好的卡片。但第一稿閱讀：

( LAUGHTER ) IT'S TRUE.

（笑）這是真的。

THAT IS I A WARNING.

這是我的警告。

WE'RE NOT CUTTING THIS JOKE BECAUSE IT IS NOT A JOKE.

我們不剪這個笑話，因為它不是一個笑話。

IT IS A WARNING TO EVERYONE OUT THERE WHO HAS A PET RABBIT.

這是給所有養寵物兔的人的警告。

WE HAD A PET RABBIT.

我們有一隻寵物兔。

>> YEAH, WE DID.

>> 是的，我們做到了。

>> Stephen: WE DID.

>> 史蒂芬：我們做到了。

>> BUT WE DIDN'T FEED HIM CHOCOLATE.

>> 但我們沒有給他吃巧克力。

>> Stephen: NO, WE DIDN'T.

>> 史蒂芬：不，我們沒有。

WE DID OTHER THINGS.

我們做了其他事情。

DO YOU WANT TO GET INTO IT, MISS JUDGMENT OVER HERE?

你想進入它，判斷小姐在這裡？

>> WE BROKE HIS LEG.

>> 我們打斷了他的腿。

>> Stephen: WE DID NOT BREAK HIS LEG.

>> 我們沒有打斷他的腿。

WE LOST HIS LEG.

我們失去了他的腿。

SHALL WE TELL EVERYBODY?

我們要不要告訴大家？

>> YEAH.

>> 是的。

>> Stephen: OKAY, SO THERE WAS A BUNNY NAMED--

>> 好的，所以有一隻兔子叫--。

>> BUNNY, I THINK, OR RABBIT.

>> 兔子，我想，還是兔子。

>> Stephen: A RABBIT NAMED BUNNY.

>> 史蒂芬：一隻叫兔子的兔子。

>> WE WERE FOSTERING HIM.

>> 我們在養育他。

>> Stephen: WE WERE FOSTERING BECAUSE THE OWNER OF THE RABBIT

>> 史蒂芬：因為兔子的主人，我們才會放養。

WENT TO COLLEGE AND I A FIRSTHAND CHILD SAID, "WILL YOU

上了大學，我一個第一手的孩子說，"你願意嗎？

HOLD ON TO MY RABBIT."

抱住我的兔子。"

AND WE SAID SURE.

我們說肯定。

WE HAD THE BUNNY IN OUR BASEMENT FOR HOW LONG?

我們在地下室養了多久的兔子？

>> A YEAR.

>>一年。

>> Stephen: A YEAR.

>> 史蒂芬：一年。

HE LOVED THE OUTSIDE, YOU KNOW, AND WE HAD A LOVELY RABBIT-PROOF

他喜歡外面，你知道的，我們有一個可愛的兔子洞。

FENCE AROUND OUR VEGETABLE GARDEN.

我們的菜園周圍有圍欄。

>> TO KEEP THE RABBITS OUT.

>> 阻止兔子進入。

>> Stephen: TO KEEP THE RABITZ OUT BECAUSE THEY WOULD EAT OUR

>> 因為他們會吃我們的東西，所以要把拉比茨人擋在外面。

VEGETABLES.

蔬菜：

SO WE PUT-- >> THE RABBITS IN.

所以我們把... ... 兔子放進去。

>> Stephen: "WE," BEING EVIE.

>> "我們"，是EVIE。

I WASN'T THERE.

我不在那裡。

EVIE PUT THE RABBIT INTO THE RABBIT-PROOF AREA WHERE THE

EVIE把兔子放進了防兔子的地方，在那裡，兔子就在那裡。

VEGETABLES WERE GROWING, AND CLOSED IT TO GIVE IT A LITTLE

蔬菜正在生長，並關閉它給它一點點

AIR.

AIR.

>> SO I COULD CLEAN ITS CAGE.

>> 所以我可以清理它的籠子。

>> Stephen: EXACTLY.

>> 史蒂芬：正是如此。

YOU'RE COMING OUT SMELLING LIKE A ROSE IN THIS ONE.

你出來的氣味像一朵玫瑰在這一個。

YOU WENT TO CLEAN THE CAGE, GO OUTSIDE, THERE ARE FEATHERS--

你去清理籠子，到外面去，有魚餌... ...

>> Stephen: NO RABBIT.

>> 史蒂芬：沒有兔子。

>> IT WAS REALLY BAD.

>> 它真的很糟糕。

>> Stephen: HE WENT FOR A RIDE WITH HIS FRIEND MR. HAWK, AND

>> 他和他的朋友Mr.HAWK, and

RABBIT WAS GONE.

兔子不見了。

AND IT WAS QUITE TRAUMATIZING.

它是相當TRUMATIZING。

>> VERY TRAUMATIZING.

>> 非常TRUMATIZING。

>> Stephen: IT WAS ABOUT THE SIZE OF THIS DESK.

>> 史蒂芬：它的大小和這張桌子差不多。

>> TEARS.

>> 淚水。

>> Stephen: LOTS OF TEARS.

>> 史蒂芬：很多的眼淚。

IDLE TEARS.

怠慢的淚水。

>> NOT IDLE, ACTIVE TEARS.

>>不是閒置的，活動的淚水。

>> Stephen: PEOPLE WERE VERY UPSET ABOUT IT IN THE FAMILY, AS

>> Stephen: 人們對家庭中的這件事非常不安，因為

WELL THEY SHOULD BE.

好吧，他們應該是。

AND WE HAD TO TELL-- WE HAD TO TELL OUR FRIENDS.

我們必須告訴 -- 我們必須告訴我們的朋友。

>> THE FAMILY.

>> 《家庭》。

>> Stephen: THAT WE MURDERED THE RABBIT.

>> 我們殺了那隻兔子。

AND THREE DAYS LATER, LIKE CHRIST HIMSELF, EVIE GOES OUT

三天後，像基督本人一樣，伊維出去了。

AND THE RABBIT IS SITTING THERE IN THE MIDDLE-- IN THE EXACT

兔子就坐在中間... ...在同一個地方

SAME SPOT WHERE HE WAS.

他在同一個地方。

>> YEAH, BUT -- >> Stephen: HE'S GOT ONE GAMEY

>> 是的，但是 -- >> 史蒂芬：他有一個遊戲的。

LEG.

專家組：

>> HE BROKE HIS LEG IN FOUR PLACE S.

>> 他的腿斷了四處。

>> Stephen: SO WE TOOK HIM TO THE VET.

>> 所以我們帶他去看獸醫。

>> SAID, "FOR SIX MONTHS, IF YOU COME EVERY WEEK, AND PAY ME

>> 說："六個月內，如果你每週都來，並且付給我錢，我就會給你錢。

$200, I'LL KEEP RECASTING THE LEG, UNTIL I WILL THEN CUT IT

兩百元，我會繼續重鑄腿，直到我將它切開。

OFF AFTER YOU'VE SPENT THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS."

在你花了幾十萬美金之後，就關了。"

>> Stephen: RIGHT.

>> Stephen:右邊。

HAS THIS STORY GOTTEN TOO DARK AT THIS POINT?

這個故事在這個時候是不是變得太黑暗了？

WE DID THAT FOR SIX MONTHS AND FINALLY WENT, IT'S NOT HEALING.

我們做了6個月，最後去了，它不癒合。

TAKE THE LEG OFF.

把腿拿掉。

WE TAKE THE LEG OFF AND DOES HE CARE?

我們把腿拿掉，他還在乎嗎？

NOT AT ALL.

一點也不。

HE'S THE EXACT SAME AS HE WAS.

他和以前一模一樣。

AND HE RETURNED-- >> THEN HE WENT TO COLLEGE AND

他回來了-->>然後他去了大學，並。

THEN HE LIVED IN MANHATTAN, AND HE ONLY JUST DIED RECENTLY.

然後他住在曼哈頓，而他最近才去世。

>> Stephen: NEXT CARD, PLEASE.

>> 下一張牌，請。

TRUE STORY.

真實的故事。

SO WE KNOW-- WE KNOW RABBITS.

所以我們知道 -- 我們知道兔子。

HERE'S A LOVELY CARD: >> OH,.

這是一張可愛的卡片。>> 哦，。

I PUT ON MY EASTER SHOES FOR YOU.

我為你穿上了我的聖誕鞋。

>> Stephen: THANK YOU.

>> 史蒂芬：謝謝你。

BUT THE FIRST DRAFF READ: ( LAUGHTER )

但第一個草稿閱讀： （笑）

>> THAT'S ABOUT AS DRESSY AS I GET, MY SWEAT PANTS.

>> 這就是我穿的衣服，我的運動褲。

>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

>> 史蒂芬：謝謝你來這裡。

ALWAYS A PLEASURE.

始終是一種享受。

>> THANK YOU FOR INVITING ME BACK.

>> 謝謝你邀請我回來。

>> Stephen: YOU'RE A PERMANENT MEMBER OF THE CAST IF YOU'D LIKE

>> 如果你願意，你是劇組的永久成員。

AT THIS POINT.

在這一點上，

>> OH,.

>> OH,.

>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SHARON STONE.

>> 我們馬上和莎朗・斯通一起回來。

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪