[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

-Now I thought I'd share some of my favorite

-現在我想我要分享一些我最喜歡的東西

"My dumb bet" stories from you guys.

"我的啞巴賭局 "的故事來自你們。

This first one is from @gumgumerson.

這第一張是來自@古姆森的。

-Oh.

-哦

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Interesting first name. -Gum.

-有趣的名字-口香糖

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-He says...

-他說...

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

Grow up, dude. -"Wake up!"

成熟點吧，夥計-"醒醒吧！"

-This next one's from @missgreenwalt.

-下一個是@missgreenwalt的。

She says...

她說...

-Yeah! -Hey.

-是啊！-嘿

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

-Living the life, man. -Yeah.

-生活，夥計-是啊

Two beds.

兩張床。

-This one's from @mrcooperclark.

-這張是@cooperclark先生髮來的。

He says...

他說...

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

Samuelel. -Samuel.

Samuelel.-塞繆爾

-Samuelel, Samuelel. -Yeah, from the Bible.

-Samuelel, Samuelel.-是的，從聖經中來的

-Samuelel. -Yeah.

-薩穆埃爾薩穆埃爾 -是的

-This one's from @logylogues. -Oh, logy logues.

-這個來自@logylogues.-哦，logy logues.

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-I wonder if they're friends with Gum Gumerson.

-我想知道他們是否是Gum Gumerson的朋友.

-Yeah, yeah. [ Laughter ]

-是啊，是啊。是啊，是啊。 [笑]

He says...

他說...

There you go. [ Audience groans ]

你去那裡。[觀眾呻吟]

-Oh! -That's pretty bad.

-哦，那真是太糟糕了。

That's a pretty bad bet right there, yeah.

這是一個相當糟糕的賭注在那裡，是的。

-Now you gotta pay the bets.

-現在你得支付賭注。

-Lost by a hair. Oh. -Oh!

-以毫釐之差輸掉了哦 -哦！-哦！

[ Laughter ] That's all right.

[笑]沒關係。

Don't get hurt, anybody.

不要受傷，任何人。

This one's from @CraigLefferts.

這個是@CraigLefferts的。

He said...

他說...

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

"I just thought the Tigers had a chance, that's all.

"我只是覺得小虎隊有機會，僅此而已。

Let's go get ice cream!"

我們去吃冰淇淋吧！"

-"When you lost." -This one's from @vestureuk.

-"當你失去了。"-這首是@vestureuk寫的.

He says...

他說...

-Okay. [ Laughter ]

-好的[笑聲]

-Oh, my God. -Oh.

-哦，我的天-哦，我的天

Why would you bet that? -Wow.

你為什麼要打賭？-哇。

Wow. -What would be worth it?

哇哦-有什麼值得的？

-That's fantastic.

-那真是太棒了

This last one's from @rockefeller88.

最後一張是@rockefeller88的。

He says...

他說...

There you go, everybody.

給你，各位。

-Those are my "Tonight Show Hashtags."

-這是我的 "今夜秀標籤"

To check out more of our favorites,

要查看更多我們的最愛。

go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.

去tonightshow.com/hashtags。

-♪ Hashtags ♪

# Hashtags #

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

-Now, I thought I'd share some of my favorite #carfails

-現在，我想我要分享一些我最喜歡的#carfails#。

from you guys. Here we go.

從你們。在這裡，我們去。

First one's from @CTaylor8. She said...

第一條是@CTaylor8的。她說...

[ Laughter ] -Wow.

[笑] 哇。

-I've been there.

-我去過那裡

This one's from @brendaemily. She says...

這個是@Brendaemily的。她說...

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"對不起!"對不起！對不起！對不起！"

-[Muffled] I'm in the trunk!

-我在後備箱裡!

-[ Chuckles ]

-[笑聲]

This one's from @Celizabeth107. She says...

這個是@Celizabeth107的。她說...

[ Laughter ] Come on.

[笑]來吧。

-[ Laughing ]

-[笑]

That's a lot of work.

這是一個很大的工作。

This one's from @beer stat.

這個是@啤酒統計的。

-Yeah!

-是啊！

-Is that, like, "Beer, stat"? Like that?

-那是，像，"啤酒，統計"？像這樣？

Or "Beer stat"? -No. Maybe like "beer stat."

還是 "啤酒統計"？-不，也許是 "啤酒統計 "吧。

-Like beer statistics.

-像啤酒統計。

[ Laughter ] Oh, I see.

[笑]哦，我明白了。

He says...

他說...

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

This one's from @NewsomScoob.

這個是@NewsomScoob的。

Oh, I know that guy. -Oh, yeah, you know Newsom.

哦，我認識那個人-哦，是的，你認識紐森。

-He says...

-他說...

[ Laughter ] It's like, "He's that good!"

[笑]這就像，"他是那麼好！"

[ High-pitched ] ♪ Dream on ♪

[高亢] 夢想上?

This one's from @KleoPotato. -Oh.

這個是@KleoPotato發來的.-哦

-She says...

-她說...

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

-[ Laughing ]

-[笑]

-That's just perfect, yeah. -Oh!

-這真是太完美了，是的。-哦！

Down shift. -This one's from @AllyScheidt.

下班了-這個是@AllyScheidt的。

She says...

她說...

[ Laughter ] -Oh!

[笑]哦！

[ Applause ] -That's how it got named.

這就是它的名字。

-That's how it got named. Sure.

-這就是它的名字。這就是它的名字。 - 當然。

That's a bunch of sh--

那是一堆狗屎 --

That's a bunch of "Scheidt." Yeah.

那是一堆 "Scheidt"。對啊

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Bunch of -- That is a lot of "Scheidt,"

-一群... ... 那是很多 "Scheidt"。

but that's from @AllyScheidt.

但那是@AllyScheidt的。

-Yeah, yeah, God bless her.

-是的，是的，上帝保佑她。

The Screwbaru. -That's how it got the name.

"螺絲巴魯"。-這就是它名字的由來。

-That's what she told her mom, yeah.

-她也是這麼跟她媽媽說的，是的

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Ugh!

-啊！

This one's from @pottsyMJ. -Yeah.

這張是@pottsyMJ發來的-是的

-He says...

-他說...

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

-Wait!

-等等！

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Wait! -What?!

等等 什麼？

I don't know what's going on. -Wait!

我不知道發生了什麼事。-等一下！

-This last one is from Craig Lefferts.

-最後一個是Craig Lefferts的。

He says...

他說...

There you go. There's our "Tonight Show Hashtag."

這就對了這就是我們的 "今夜秀標籤"

To check out more of our favorites,

要查看更多我們的最愛。

go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.

去tonightshow.com/hashtags。

-♪ Hashtags ♪

# Hashtags #

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

-Now I thought I'd share some of my favorite

-現在我想我要分享一些我最喜歡的東西

"Had to do it" tweets from you guys.

"不得不這樣做 "的微博，你們。

This first one is from @fakecoatesy.

這第一張是@fakecoatesy的。

He said...

他說...

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

Had to -- Had to do it. -Had to do it.

不得不... 不得不這麼做-不得不這樣做。

This is from @ihatetherefs. [ Laughter ]

這是來自@ihatetherefs。[笑聲]

-Wow. Strong opinion. -Yeah.

-哇。強烈的意見。-是的

He says...

他說...

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

He had to do it. -Yeah, he had to do it.

他必須這樣做。 - 是的，他必須這樣做。-是的，他必須這樣做。

He had no choice. [ Laughter ]

他別無選擇。[笑聲]

-15 minutes picking out a mop. -Yeah.

-15分鐘挑選一個拖把。-是的

-There's lots of different mops you can get.

-有很多不同的拖把，你可以得到。

-Also, what was he doing 15 minutes watching her?

-還有，他看她15分鐘幹什麼？

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-He had to do it, right? -Yeah, he had to do it.

-他必須這麼做，對嗎？-是的，他必須這麼做.

-"I guess not." Yeah.

-"我想不會。"是的，我想是的

-Scotch in his hand. -Creepy dude, yeah.

-他手裡拿著蘇格蘭威士忌-詭異的傢伙，是的

-Yeah. [ Laughter ]

-是的。是啊。 [笑]

"Nice mop." [ Laughter ]

"漂亮的拖把。"[笑聲]

-"I wouldn't choose that one." [ Laughter ]

-"我不會選擇那一個。"[笑聲]

-"Get outta here, you perv!" -"Get outta here!

-"滾出去，你這個變態！"-"滾出去！

Block you from our store." -This one is from --

阻止你進入我們的商店。"-這個是...

-"And put a shirt on!" [ Laughter ]

-"把襯衫穿上！"[笑聲]

-"I do have a shirt on. It's just on my legs."

-"我確實穿了一件襯衫。只是穿在腿上。"

-Oh, my God! [ Laughter ]

-哦，我的上帝！[笑聲]

-This one's from @littlerose345. She says...

-這個是@Littlerose345發來的。她說...

[ Laughter and applause ] That's clever.

[笑聲和掌聲] 這是聰明的。

That's smart. -Smart thinking.

很聰明-聰明的想法。

-That's clever.

-真聰明

This one's from @ALucilleW. She says...

這個是@ALucilleW發來的。她說...

[ Laughter ] -Oh.

[笑]哦。

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

-"I was just joking." -"Never mind."

-"我只是在開玩笑。"-"沒關係。"

"Papa John's!"

"約翰爸爸"！

-This one's from @Rosarita1. She says...

-這個是@Rosarita1發來的。她說...

[ Laughter, cheers, applause ] -Yeah!

[笑聲，歡呼聲，掌聲] 是啊！

Yeah! Eat it!

爽！吃吧！

♪♪

♪♪

Yeah! -Rosarita!

是啊！ -羅莎麗塔！-羅莎麗塔！

-Rosarita1!

-羅莎麗塔1！

You know what? She did win.

你知道嗎？她確實贏了。

Rosarita won. -She won.

羅莎麗塔贏了-她贏了

-"What can I have? Fighting or pleasure?"

-"我能有什麼？戰鬥還是快樂？"

-That's fantastic. [ Laughter ]

-這是夢幻般的。[笑聲]

This one is from @WHenhenhen. -Oh.

這個是@WHenhenhen的。-哦

-I thought I was just having a stroke there.

-我還以為我只是中風了呢。

-Oh. [ Laughter ]

-哦。[笑聲]

-This is from @WHenhenhenhenhenhenhenhen...

-這是來自@WHenhenhenhenhenhenhen... ...

-Ba-gawk, bawk bawk bawk bawk!

-呱呱呱，呱呱呱，呱呱呱呱!

-She says...

-她說...

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Interesting. You got a point.

有意思你說的有道理

-Yeah, he's got a point. [ Laughter ]

-是啊，他有一個點。是的，他說的有道理。

-She didn't share that big old door.

-她沒有分享那扇大舊門。

-That's right, yeah. -And he drowned to death.

-沒錯，是的.-然後他淹死了

-"My jewel!" -"Oh!

-"我的珠寶！"-"哦！

Wait. What did I do with that?"

等等，我怎麼了？我把它怎麼了？"

-[ As Adam Sandler ] "I dropped my jewel into the sea!"

-"我把我的珠寶掉進了海里！"

-"Mrs. Sandler, please." [ Laughter ]

-"桑德勒夫人，請。"[笑聲]

-"We ha-- You found it, finally."

-"我們... 你終於找到了"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

"Thank you very much!"

"非常感謝您！"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Oh, this one's from @kingedhill. He says...

哦，這個是@kingedhill的。他說...

-Oh. [ Laughter ]

-哦。[笑聲]

[ Cheers and applause ] Ouch.

[歡呼聲和掌聲] 哎喲。

-Busted, right? You think you're being clever.

-失敗了，對吧？你以為你很聰明嗎？

Yeah, yeah, yeah. -That would be funny.

是啊，是啊，是啊。-這將是有趣的。

-This last one has a picture attached to it.

-最後一個有圖片附在上面。

It's from @tutusNtrouble. She says...

是@tutusNtrouble發來的。她說...

[ Laughter ] -Aww!

[笑聲] -Aww！

-Still a cute baby. [ Applause ]

-仍然是一個可愛的嬰兒。[掌聲]

Cute baby. There you have it.

可愛的寶寶。有你有它。

Those are our "Tonight Show Hashtags."

這些都是我們的 "今夜秀標籤"。

To check out more of our favorites,

要查看更多我們的最愛。

go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.

去tonightshow.com/hashtags。