-I don't like.... -wait,do you have a Google+ account?

-我不喜歡....-等等，你有 Google+ 的帳號嗎?

No.

沒有..

Well, you're gonna go over to the Google+ desk, and sign up there, and then you can make your comment.

恩那你必須去 Google+ 的櫃檯，在那裏註冊登入之後你就可以寫你的評論了

I was sent here by Laura...

Laura叫我來到這裡

Is she an acquaintance, friend, or co-worker?

你跟她只是點頭之交嗎?朋友?還是同事?

You can put her in a circle. Circle, circle, circles!

你可以將她放入朋友圈，圈圈圈!

I love circles.

我喜歡那些社交圈

I'm sorry, I don't understand any of this.

痾不好意思，我對那些一竅不通

Oh, nobody does. Doesn't matter. Just sign up!

歐~也沒人知道，沒關係的，就註冊吧

Come on. Please?

麻煩了

Hi. I would like to be part of this year's YouTube Music Awards.

嗨，我想要被YouTube Music Awards提名

Okay. Are you a member of Arcade Fire?

okay,你是Arcade Fire的成員之一嗎?(註: Arcade Fire拱廊之火獲得第53界格林美年度專輯獎以及全英音樂獎最佳國際組合及最佳國際專輯)

Uh, no. But I'm a musician, and I'm on YouTube.

痾不是，但我是音樂家，也出現在YouTube上過

Mmm, that's not enough. Are you famous, or at least friends with Macklemore?

mmm，那是不夠的，你很有名嗎? 還是你至少跟Macklemore朋友嗎?(註: Macklemore著名的饒舌歌手，也獲得了許多大獎)

-No.-Well, you could always make a video in your bedroom.

-也不是。-那你可以在臥室中做影片

That's how Justin Bieber started.

Justin Bieber 就是那樣開始的

I'm 40 years old. What?

-我40歲了-什麼!

Security? Lockdown! Lockdown! One got in, old person on YouTube!

保全! 封鎖!封鎖!有一個老人出現在YouTube上

I'm not 40, I'm in high school! I have Benjamin Buttons disease! Hey, let me go! I gotta get back to work!

-我並非40歲阿，我目前在高中念書，我有一段班傑明的奇幻旅程阿!-Hey,放開我，我還得回去工作阿(註:Benjamin Buttons disease指的是人會從越來越老人變回越來越年輕)

Hello, hello, hello... hey!

Hello, hello, hello... hey!

Hey, Gregory Brothers!

嗨，Gregory 兄弟(註:Gregory Brothers是美國一個家族性樂團)

People only care about parodies on YouTube...

人們在YouTube上只會關注那些滑稽又愚蠢的視頻

We want more views on originals that we do...

我們希望更多人點閱我們的原創

Oooohooohooo... please...

oooooohhhhoooo 拜託....

Well, maybe you need to spend more time on your originals.

恩也許你們多花點時間在你們的原創上

I mean, that melody you just sang wasn't very catchy.

我指的是你們剛剛唱的旋律並不是很吸引人

What? People only care about spaghetti and beef stew!

什麼!人們只在乎義大利麵和燉牛肉

They should eat lasagna and burgers dipped in fondue! Ew!

他們應該把千層麵和漢堡沾起司火鍋來吃！噁!

Ha ha ha ha ha! I love songs about food!

哈哈哈哈哈，我喜歡關於食物的這首歌

Those were literally the same notes we sang.

那些都字面上都是我們剛剛所唱的阿

Only they sing them crappier.

只是他們唱得比較糟糕罷了

Well, have you guys thought about singing worse, and about dumber things?

恩那你們有沒有想過唱的爛一點呢?或者是愚蠢的?

No.

沒有

It's right here in the YouTube Playbook under Best Practices

這裡這裡，YouTube最佳的示範

Hm, rabbit shaming.

痾 寵物兔子犯事集?

I'm having a lot of problems with the live stream function. It pauses every time I try--

當我在觀看YouTube的時後，我總是有流量數快慢的問題，每次都會暫停....我想要嘗試著.....

eh evrev.....timeevchchchtrtry... -The live stream function is actually flawless.

每次....嘗試.....-我們的流量都是沒有瑕疵的

I hate to tell you this, but you have a tremendous stutter.

我不大想告訴你這個，但我覺得那是因為有口吃

Oh, thank you. I never thought

喔謝謝你，我從沒有想過

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo of that.

想............................原來是因為這樣

Oh my god, Elsa from Frozen!

我的天啊，是冰雪奇緣的Elsa！

Are you gonna sing Let it Go? Please please please please please please!

你要唱Let it go嗎? 拜託，拜託，拜託，拜託，拜託，拜託，拜託，拜託!

No, I am not gonna sing Let it Go...

不，我沒有打算要唱Let it GO...

Also, if I never hear that song again, it'll be too soon.

還有如果我將不再聽到那首歌，就太好了

What? Why are you being so cold?

阿?為什麼你這麼冷淡...?

Because I am so sick of everyone on YouTube singing my song.

因為我真的聽到膩了，每個人都YouTube上面唱我的歌

No more covers of my song. It's not even a good song. I just made it up on the spot.

不要再有任何翻唱歌曲，甚至根本稱不上是一首歌，我只不過就只是當場隨意哼了下

Do you want to monetize all those cover versions?

難道你不想利用這些來賺錢嗎？

No, I'm rich enough. I'm just sick of hearing that song!

不需要，我已經夠有錢了。我只是厭倦了聽到這首歌曲

Okay. Also, no more covers of Royals; I'm sick of that song, too.

好的，還有不要再有Royals的翻唱歌曲了，我也聽膩了！(註：Royals是Lorde歌曲)

Hey, can I ask you something?

hey,我可以問你一個問題嗎？

Make it quick, I've got princess stuff to do.

那快一點，我還有很多公主的事要做

Do you... want to build a snowman?

你想要.....堆雪人嗎？

Let it go, okay.Let it go.

隨它去吧。好嗎？忘掉吧

Oh gosh! Hi!

oh天啊，hi!

I'm having trouble uploading a profile picture.

我無法上傳個人圖像

Well, the default avatar is already of your face, so... you're all set!

恩你的頭像已經被預設值給設定好了，所以，你已經完成了

That's not my face!

那才不是我的頭像!

What are you saying, we all look alike?

你在說什麼! 我們看起來一樣嗎?

You're a face-ist! -No, I...

-你這個對我的臉有偏見的！-不...我....

Just stop. Where's your bathroom?

好了停止，廁所在哪裡?

That way.

那邊

Hey! Take down that picture of me! I didn't authorize the use of my likeness!

hey!把我的頭像拿掉，我並沒有授權給你們使用我的肖像阿!

This is booshit!

這根本是屁!

Hey there.

嗨你好

Hi!-I'm Dave

嗨我是Dave

Okay...

okay.....

So do we just... do it whenever?

所以我就...隨意做什麼都可以嗎?

Who are you talking to?

你在跟誰說話?

What is that music?

那是什麼音樂？

I'm so nervous.

我好緊張!

Here goes nothing!

我不管了

Whoa! Whoa, whoa! Back to color!

歐!歐歐!回到彩色的世界!

We are not doing one of these stranger's first kiss videos!

我們才不幹那種什麼初次見面就親吻別人的影片!

It's a social experiment!

這只是一種社會實驗麻!

Out!

滾出去!

Just-Whoa!

就只是....-喔挖!

Okay, okay, sorry.

好好好.....對不起

I'm just a funny guy making funny blogs by myself in my basement.

我只是個有趣的人，然後在我的地下室寫些滑稽的部落格

How do I get rich?

我要如何致富呢?

This question, again?

又是這個問題?

What you're gonna wanna do is get a time machine and go back to 2006, and then you should be good!

你應當要做的就是去拿到時光機，然後回到2006年，之後你就會變有錢了

Whatever.

隨便吧!

Psst, hey kid! How would you like to join an MCN?

欸!你想不想要加入MCN?

What's an MCN?

什麼是MCN?

It's a multi-channel network. We're gonna get you more views, more exposure, more money...

是一個多渠道的網際網路，我們將要讓你的影片受到看多人觀賞，更多曝光率，更多的錢....

Why did you do air quotes when you said more money?

為何麼當你在說更多的錢的時候要做一個引號的手勢?

It's a nervous tick! Anyway, you want to be the next epic PewDieDawson or what?

只是個緊張的勾!總之你到底想不想要成為下一個PewDie?(註:PewDie在YouTuube上訂閱人次很多，是第一名)

Okay, yeah! Where do I sign?

好的，所以我應該簽哪裡?

Right here!

這裡!

Your two dollars are mine now!

你的兩元美金現在是我的了

All mine! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... ah ha ha ha...

全都是我的了，哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

Is that time machine a real thing, by any chance?

那是真的時光機嗎?還是只是偶然的事件?

It's still in beta.

它仍處於測試階段

Hello my love, I've seen all the ads for YouTube On TV, billboards, even the one they wrapped around the subway!

嗨親愛的，我已看過所有YouTube的廣告，在電視上、告示排行榜，甚至是在地鐵上的

So, basically, you got me! I'm in! I'll take one YouTube, please!

所以基本上，你也算擁有我了，我要加入，我也要一個YouTube，麻煩了!

Um, there's only one YouTube.

痾...全世界只有一個YouTube

Okay, fine! How much?

好吧，那多少錢?

I don't know. Several billion dollars?

我不大清楚，數十億美金吧?

Wha- uh...

什麼............痾.......

Don't you think you should put that in the ads?

你難道不覺得你們應該張貼價位在那些廣告上嗎?

Nice try, but no thank you.

恩說得好，但不必了謝謝

I'll buy a book instead. A Facebook!

那我會去買一本書，一本臉書!

[phone ringing]YouTube Complaints...

(電話鈴聲)YouTube 抱怨部門

Hey, what's up? It's the Dude Perfect Guys from Dallas!

hey,最近還好嗎?我是Dude Perfect Guys from Dallas!(註: Dude Perfect也是YouTube的使用者之一，時常發布關於體運以及有趣搞笑影片)

We do all the trick shots and stuff.

我們拍了很多花式射籃的影片

Yeah, of course! How can I help you?

恩當然我知道，所以有什麼我可以幫忙的嗎?

Well, we're doing this epic thing with a basketball and a catapult...

恩我們將要做一件史詩般的事：一顆籃球和彈射

It basically shoots stuff like 3,000 miles...

我們要拍攝的東西的距離是3000英里...

...and I say we launched it probably about five minutes ago.

而我要說的是我們已經在五分鐘前投射出籃球了

Long story short, you should probably duck!

總而言之，你應該趕緊閃一下

Tell me that went in!

告訴我如果進的話

No way. -Yes.

不會吧!!!- 太棒了!!!

(cheers)

(歡呼聲)

I'm a vlogger, but I get like zero hits. Any ideas?

我是影片部落客，但我的影片是零點閱率，有什麼辦法嗎?

Here, put this on and try doing it in an English accent, and act sheepish.

這個，把這個戴上，再加上使用英式腔調，再表示的更靦腆羞怯的

Sheepish?

靦腆羞怯的?

Trust me.

相信我!

Hey, guys! Um, I don't know if you like vlogs, but, um, just subscribe, I guess.

hey大家好，我不知道你們是否知道我的影片，但...記得訂閱，我想

Uh, I won't go mental if you don't; perhaps we've got like loads in common! Maybe... I think.

喔你不訂閱我也不會起笑的，也許我們有某些相同的地方，可能吧我想

And we can connect on that, and, um, I will be your little mate inside the computie-wootie.

而我們又可以連想到，恩...我可以成為你的小伴侶在你電腦裡(註:computie-wootie指的是男生或女生，長得帥氣可愛或長相火辣的電腦怪胎)

I put a lot of time, energy, and thought into my comedy videos, and they get very few hits.

我花費的很多時間、精力和想法在我的搞笑影片中，他們卻只有很少的點閱率

And if somebody can just play video games and talk for half an hour...

但如果是有些人只要玩遊戲或是講了半小時的話

...and get a bajillion hits, it's just not fair!

他們卻有數不清的觀賞次數，這根本不公平阿!

Wait. Quiet for a moment..

等等! 安靜一陣子

This guy's awesome.

這個傢伙真是太棒了!

Okay, I'm gonna steal...

好吧....我將要.....

...the information by hacking his phone, and I'm gonna leave and go on my phone because I can just do it on my phone!

駭進他的手機偷走資訊，而我將要趕緊離開然後拿出我的手機，因為我也可以藉由我的手機做這些事

Nothing to see here! Just talking to my mom in my awesome car!

這裡沒什麼好看的，我只是在我的高級車子中跟我媽媽講電話

Here I go, and driving away, into that- whoops. My bad.

而我便開車離開，喔...撞到了，我不好意思

That is quality content!

這就是高質量的內容!

I'm sorry, what were you saying? I got bored.

不好意思，你剛剛說了什麼? 我覺得感到十分無聊

You know where I can find an Xbox?

你知道哪裡可以找到XBOX嗎?

Downstairs.

樓下

[phone ringing]Complaints.

(電話鈴聲) 抱怨部門

Yeah, hey, it's Rhett and Link again.

Hey,又是我們，Rhett and Link.(註:Rhett and Link他們常常發佈好笑有趣幽默影片的，有很多出名的作品，大家可以去訂閱觀賞他們的頻道)

Who hurt your feelings this week?

這禮拜是誰傷害你們的心靈了?

Nobody, this time, uh, we were just calling about vacation days.

這一次沒有人，但我們打給你是因為我們想要放假

If you want to take a break, take a break.

假如你想要放假，那就休假吧

We've got mouths to feed!

我們有那麼多人要供養

Yeah, being a YouTuber is like being a hamster on a endless Ferris wheel!

嗯啊成為了YouTube就像是一隻倉鼠無止盡地在摩天輪裡打轉

I think he means treadmill, but listen.

我想他所指的是跑步機，但是你聽著

We've probably made you, like, hundreds of dollars and we want vacation days!

我覺得我們大概已經替你們賺了數百美金，而我們想要放假!

Well, I can't offer that, but why don't you just make a video series called Rhett and Link's Special Magical Week Off Show?

可我無法讓你休假，但你們為何不如做個影片稱做：Rhett and Link一周的特別休假版之番外篇

That way, you can make a video but still be on vacation.

這樣一來，你不但可以還是有影片可以讓人觀看，又可以休假

That's a good idea.

這聽起來是個不錯的意見

I love the title.

我喜歡這個標題

Wait, who's gonna edit that?

等等，那誰要來編輯影片啊?

She tricked us again.

她又耍了我們一遍.........

AAH!!!

啊!!!!

[explosion noise]I'm Bob, and I'm building an army!

(爆炸聲)我是Bob!我要建造一個軍隊!

This tank and I are against Google+!

這個坦克和我將要一起打擊 Google+!

Disconnect Google+ from the comments section or I will destroy YouTube!

評論的區塊並不與Google+相連，不然我就要摧毀YouTube!

10, 9, 8...

10,9,8,......

I've had just about enough with this Bob crap...

我已經受夠了Bob得的這些廢話.

Nice shooting.

射的真準，幹的好!

Thanks.

謝啦!