- Mm-hmm. - I told her straight out.

- 我直接告訴她了。- 我直接告訴她了。

I just said it, man.

我只是說了，夥計。

I said it, I said, I said, I said-

我說過了，我說過了，我說過了，我說過了--。

I said, "Bi-" - Hey guys!

我說："比...

- Hey girl, how you doing! - Oh, hey!

- 嘿，女孩，你怎麼做！- 哦，嘿！

- You having a good time? - You having-

- 你有一個好時機？- 你有...

♪ Oh, I want you ♪

哦，我想你

♪ But I don't need you ♪

但我不需要你

- Neil.

- 尼爾

Neil!

尼爾！

- Yes, honey?

- 什麼事，親愛的？

- Neil DeGrasse Tyson,

- Neil DeGrasse Tyson

I asked you to take the dog out for a walk

我叫你帶狗出去走走，你說呢？

when I left the house four hours ago.

四小時前我離開家的時候

Now, I come back and this little mother (beep) Sputnik

現在，我回來了，這個小媽媽（嗶）斯普特尼克。

has done pissed on my drapes!

已經做了小便在我的窗簾！

Now, I've gotta get rid of those things and get new ones.

現在，我得把這些東西扔掉，買新的。

Neil, it doesn't make any sense.

尼爾，這沒有任何意義。

You're an astrophysicist.

你是一個天體物理學家。

How can you not keep track of little details like this?

這樣的小細節，你怎麼能不記錄呢？

- Well, actually, it's the little details

- 嗯，其實，這是小細節

that cannot be kept track of by definition.

無法通過定義追蹤的。

In 1927, a German university lecturer

1927年，一位德國大學講師

named Warner Heisenberg, came to a seemingly

名為華納-海森堡的人，來到了一個看似。

paradoxical conclusion, that the more we know

矛盾的結論是我們知道的越多

about the position of a particle in physical space,

關於粒子在物理空間的位置。

the less we know about its momentum and vice versa.

我們就越不知道它的動量，反之亦然。

- Okay, but what does that have to-

- 好吧，但那有什麼用...

- Taken in conjunction with what we know

- 結合我們所知道的

about the expansion of the universe,

關於宇宙的膨脹。

this brings us to a fascinating possibility.

這給我們帶來了一種迷人的可能性。

That maybe what we experience as one point in time space

那也許就是我們所經歷的一個時間點的空間吧

could actually be a legion of points,

其實可以是一個軍團的點。

which would mean that your curtains

這將意味著你的窗簾

and little Sputnik's pee pee could be as distant

和小斯巴尼克的尿尿可能一樣遙遠

from one another as we are from the furthest galaxy.

就像我們離最遠的星系一樣。

- Okay.

- 好吧，我知道了

Well, just, next time.

好吧，只是，下一次。

- Of course, dear.

- 當然，親愛的。

- Neil!

- 尼爾！

There you are.

你在這裡啊

What are you doing?

你在做什麼？

We have to go to my Aunt Nellie's funeral.

我們要去參加我姑姑Nellie的葬禮。

How are you not ready?

你怎麼還沒準備好？

I've been talking to you about this all week.

我已經跟你說了一個星期了。

How am I gonna find you in your boxers

我怎麼才能找到你的內褲呢？

looking at a science magazine?

在看一本科學雜誌？

(sighs) I swear, Neil, sometimes I think

我發誓，尼爾，有時候我覺得... ...

you don't have any idea of what's important.

你根本不知道什麼是重要的。

- Well, actually, an idea of what's important

- 嗯，實際上，一個想法 什麼是重要的

is as close as we can ever come

咫尺天涯

to any definition of importance.

任何重要性的定義。

Our galaxy is one of over 100 billion

我們的星系是一千多億個星系中的一個

in the observable universe.

在可觀測的宇宙中。

And, it's 100,000 light years across,

而且，它的直徑有十萬光年。

which means it would take light 100,000 years to traverse.

這意味著需要光10萬年才能穿越。

- Okay, but-

- 好吧，但是...

- But that's just space.

- 但這只是空間。

If we were to chart the history of the universe

如果我們要描繪宇宙的歷史

on one calendar year,

在一個日曆年內。

the history of mankind as we know it

人文史料

would just take place in the final second of that year.

會只是發生在當年的最後一秒。

So, whether I'm ready now or in 500 years,

所以，不管是現在還是五百年後，我都已經準備好了。

well, cosmically speaking, the distinction is meaningless.

好吧，從宇宙的角度來說，這種區別是沒有意義的。

- Well, okay.

- 好吧，好吧。

I'm going now.

我現在就去。

- Goodbye, honey.

- 再見，親愛的。

- Neil!

- 尼爾！

Who is she?

她是誰？

Who is the white bitch that left this goddamn

誰是那個離開這個該死的白人婊子？

lipstick stain on your collar?

領口上有口紅的痕跡？

Hm?

嗯？

Oh, I got you!

哦，我抓住你了！

You're caught.

你被抓了

Because this is apricot colored,

因為這是杏色的。

and you know who wears that?

你知道是誰穿的嗎？

White bitches!

白人婊子！

And you can't talk your way out of this one,

你不能說你的方式來解決這個問題。

'cause I'm not getting confused today,

因為我今天沒有被搞糊塗。

'cause I got my (beep) in order

"因為我有我的（嗶嗶聲）秩序

and I've done my research.

我已經做了我的研究。

Okay, Neil?

好嗎，尼爾？

You see, we are here at this point in space time

你看，我們現在在這裡，在這個空間時間點上

on a human scale,

在人的範圍內。

but at this point you a trifling ass mother (beep),

但在這一點上，你一個瑣碎的屁股母親（嗶）。

so expect the papers from my lawyer,

所以希望我的律師能給我文件

'cause we're parting ways.

因為我們要分道揚鑣了

- Well, actually.

- 其實

- No, no.

- 不，不。

- We are always parting ways and not parting ways

- 我們總是分分合合，不分不合。

and every conceivable combination.

和各種可以想象的組合。

Many physicists, including Stephen Hawking,

許多物理學家，包括霍金。

now believe that there is an infinite number of universes.

現在相信有無限多的宇宙。

It's called multiverse theory,

這就是所謂的多元宇宙理論。

and it suggests that there are

而且它表明，有

an infinite number of universes

無數個宇宙

in which I didn't have sex with that white woman.

在其中，我沒有與那個白人婦女發生性關係。

- I (beep) Bill Nye the Science Guy.

- 我是科學小子比爾-奈。

- You bitch.

- 你這個賤人

(doorbell rings)

（門鈴響）

- Hey, hey, hey! - Hey!

- 嘿，嘿，嘿！

- All right. - Hi sweetie.

- 好吧，我知道了- 嗨，親愛的。

That's for you. - Hey Trace, how you doin'?

這是給你的。- 嘿，Trace，你好嗎？

- Check out the house! - Oh my!

- 看看這房子！- 哦，我的天！

- Girl, I got a sunk in tube, you gotta see it!

- 姑娘，我有一個沉在管子裡的東西，你一定要看看!

- Oh, I've got to see this.

- 哦，我得看看這個。

- All right. - You two

- 好吧，你們兩個- 你們兩個

have a good time now. - Have fun, have fun!

有一個很好的時間了。- 玩得開心，玩得開心！

Dude, I am sorry we're late!

夥計，對不起，我們遲到了！

- Man, it happens man.

- 男人，它發生的人。

- Man, she talked about how we were supposed

- 男人，她說我們應該如何

to be in the car at 6:45,

要在6點45分上車。

I'm like, "All right." - Uh oh!

我想，"好吧。"- 呃，哦！

- Tell me my dumbass ain't sitting in the car

- 告訴我，我的蠢蛋不是坐在車內

waiting until 7:15. - Nuh-uh!

等到7: 15。- Nuh -uh!

- Okay, when I tracked my wife down 20 minutes later,

- 好吧，當我20分鐘後追蹤到我妻子的時候，

she's stepping out the damn shower,

她走出該死的淋浴。

talkin' 'bout, "Can I help you?"

說著說著，"我能幫你嗎？"

- See, that's crazy right there.

- 你看，那是瘋狂的權利在那裡。

- Craig, I looked this woman in the eye, I said,

- 克雷格，我看著這個女人的眼睛，我說。

"Bitch, you told me 6:45!"

"賤人，你告訴我6:45！"

- You said that? - (scoffs) Yeah, I said,

- 你說的？- （嘲笑）是的，我說。

"Bitch!"

"賤人！"

Then I laid it out. - Yeah, but you said

然後我把它擺出來。- 是的，但你說

bitch though?

婊子，雖然？

- Hmm?

- 嗯？

- You said bitch?

- 你說婊子？

- Yeah.

- 是啊。

- [Woman] You gotta see the fire place

- 你得看看這火塘

downstairs in the living room.

樓下的客廳裡。

- Okay.

- 好吧，我知道了

Don't play games man, just tell me what you gonna tell me!

別玩了，告訴我你要告訴我什麼！

- Exactly, it's like, say what you mean, mean what you say!

- 沒錯，這就像，說你的意思，就是你說的意思!

- Is that so hard?

- 有這麼難嗎？

- It's like last week man,

- 這就像上週的人。

we going out to dinner, right?

我們要出去吃飯，對不對？

I'm like, "Where do you wanna go?"

我想，"你想去哪裡？"

She's like, "You decide." - Uh-oh!

她說："你決定吧"- 嗯，哦！

- I'm like, "All right, Outback Steakhouse."

- 我想，"好吧，Outback牛排館。"

She like, "Nah." - Mm-hmm.

她喜歡，"不"。- Mm -hmm.

- I'm like, "Straight up, Chili's."

- 我說："直說吧，Chili's。"

She's like, "Ehh."

她的樣子，"Ehh。"

- No. - No.

- 號 - 號

Darryl, I named seven more restaurants!

達里爾，我又說出了七家餐廳的名字！

- No Craig, no!

- 不，克雷格，不！

- I finally said Taylor's.

- 我終於說了泰勒的。

- The place I know she wants to go in the first place.

- 我知道她一開始想去的地方。

- Right, right! - She looked at me, she said,

- 對，對！- 她看著我，她說。

"If that's where you wanna go."

"如果那是你想去的地方。"

- No she didn't Craig!

- 不，她沒有克雷格！

- If that's where I wanna go.

- 如果那是我想去的地方

Darryl, I looked my woman in the eye sockets.

若曦，我看著我女人的眼窩。

- Mm-hmm. - I told her straight out.

- 我直接告訴她了。- 我直接告訴她了。

I just said it man.

我只是說，男人。

I said it, I said, I said, I said,

我說了，我說了，我說了，我說了。

I said, "Bi-" - Hey guys.

我說："比..." 嘿，夥計們。

- Hey girl, how you doing! - Oh, hey!

- 嘿，女孩，你怎麼做！- 哦，嘿！

- You having a good time? - You having fun?

- 你有一個好時機？- 你玩得開心嗎？

- You seen the bedroom? - We was just looking

- 你看到臥室了嗎？- 我們只是在看

at the water. - You see the washing machine?

在水。- 你看到洗衣機了嗎？

A washer machine, it's huge! - Water up on the

一臺洗衣機，好大啊!- 上水了

ceiling here. - You get a whole bunch of

這裡的天花板。- 你會得到一大堆的

clothes in that washing machine!

洗衣機裡的衣服！

- Baby, I'ma take her back up to the kitchen

- 親愛的，我帶她回廚房了

and show her the dish washer.

並給她看洗碗機。

- Darryl? - Yeah, baby?

- 達里爾？- 什麼事，寶貝？

- I want a kitchen island just like the one upstairs.

- 我想要一個和樓上一樣的廚房島。

- You gone' get it too.

- 你也去拿吧

- I love you.

- 我愛你

- I love you!

- 我愛你！

- I said, "Bitch,

- 我說："賤人。

"if you wanted to go to Taylor's,

"如果你想去泰勒的，

"just tell a brother you wanna go to Taylor's!"

"告訴一個兄弟你想去泰勒家！"

Okay? - You know what I'm saying!

你知道我在說什麼嗎？- 你知道我在說什麼！

You said that? - Oh, hell yeah man!

你說的？- 哦，地獄般的男人！

- Yeah! - I laid it out!

- 是啊！- 我把它擺出來了！

Right, I says, I says, I says,

對，我說，我說，我說。

I said, "Bitch, I'm the man of the house!"

我說："賤人，我是家裡的男人！"

- You said bitch though?

- 你說婊子？

- Mm-hmm.

- 嗯哼。

- You called your wife a bitch?

- 你說你老婆是婊子？

- Aw yeah.

- 哦，是的。

- Craig? - Darryl?

- 克雷格？- 達里爾？

Where are those guys?

那些人在哪裡？

- [Woman] I don't know.

- [女人]我不知道。

Girl, let me show you this.

女孩，讓我給你看這個。

- [Darryl] So, she's like,

- [達里爾]所以，她的樣子。

"Why don't you rent a movie we both like?"

"你為什麼不租一部我們都喜歡的電影？"

- [Craig] No she didn't! - [Darryl] After I spent

- [克雷格]不，她沒有！- [達里爾]之後，我花了

25 minutes in the goddamn Blockbuster's!

25分鐘就到了該死的百視達！

Craig, I looked this woman in her optic stems

克雷格，我看了一下這個女人的視杆

and I says, I said,

我說，我說。

I says, "Bitch!"

我說，"婊子！"

- You said that?

- 你說的？

- Ain't nothin' but a thing!

- 什麼都不是，只是個東西！

- But, you said bitch though?

- 但是，你說的婊子，雖然？

- Yep.

- 是的。

- (laughs) See, you got it.

- (笑)看，你明白了。

(phone rings)

（電話鈴聲）

(phone rings) - Oh man!

哦，天哪！

Hey honey, Craig just gave me the neighborhood tour.

嘿，親愛的，克雷格剛剛給我介紹了附近的旅遊。

- So then, she's like, "I didn't know

- 所以，她就說："我不知道...

"we'd be doing so much walking."

"我們會做這麼多的步行。"

- Nuh-uh! - I'm like,

- 我喜歡。

"I didn't tell you to wear those shoes."

"我沒讓你穿這雙鞋。"

She said, "Don't raise your voice at me."

她說："不要對我大聲說話。"

- What?

- 什麼？

- Darryl!

- 達里爾！

I looked this woman

我看了這個女人

dead in the windows of her soul!

死在她靈魂的窗口！

I said,

我說。

I said-

我說...

(door opens)

（門打開）

(Craig knocks)

（克雷格敲）

I said, "Bitch!"

我說："婊子！"

(romantic music)

(浪漫音樂)

- Ooh honey, I am tired!

- 哦，親愛的，我累了！

I am going to bed, goodnight.

我要去睡覺了，晚安。

- Uh, well. (laughs)

- 呃，好吧。（笑）

- Is everything okay?

- 一切都好嗎？

- Well, it's just that I was hoping that,

- 嗯，這只是我希望。

well, that we could,

好吧，我們可以。

and, I wanna make this clear,

還有，我想把話說清楚

I wanna be straight forward.

我想直截了當。

I want to have a-

我想有一個-

- Okay, Luther,

- 好吧，盧瑟

are you available to translate?

你可以翻譯嗎？

- Yes ma'am.

- 是的，夫人。

- I really was hoping we could spend some time together.

- 我真的很希望我們能在一起度過一些時間。

- When is the last time we had sex woman?

- 我們最後一次做女人是什麼時候？

When, election night?

什麼時候，選舉之夜？

What does a brother not named Bill Clinton

一個不叫比爾-克林頓的兄弟是什麼

have to do to get some (beep) in this house?

必須做一些（嗶）在這所房子？

- Well, you have been very busy lately.

- 嗯，你最近很忙。

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, you know what,

- 嗯，嗯，嗯，嗯，你知道嗎？

if I could just, can we get your translator?

如果我可以，我們可以得到你的翻譯？

- Oh yes, certainly.

- 哦，是的，當然。

Katendra?

Katendra?

- Yeah, honey?

- 是的，親愛的？

- Could you please translate,

- 請你翻譯一下。

"Well, you've been very busy lately."?

"嗯，你最近很忙。"?

- Sure.

- 當然可以

- My (beep) ain't one of your limousines

- 我的(嗶)不是你的豪華轎車之一。

that you can jump in and out of whenever you feel like!

你可以隨時跳進跳出!

I don't see you all day,

我一天都見不到你。

then you want a booty call?

那你要不要打炮？

I need an emotional connection (beep)!

我需要一種情感上的聯繫(嗶)!

- Thought this was romantic.

- 覺得這很浪漫。

- I'm (beep) trying bitch!

- 我正在努力，婊子！

Can't you see?

你看不出來嗎？

I'm playing the romantic music!

我在放浪漫的音樂！

I got the pino in the glasses!

我的眼鏡裡有皮諾！

What more do you want from me,

你還想從我這裡得到什麼。

an engraved invitation from my nuts?

我的蛋蛋送來的刻字邀請函？

- Maybe, we should make a date.

- 也許，我們應該做一個日期。

- What am I supposed to do,

- 我應該怎麼做。

jump outta my clothes every time

衣服都快掉光了

little Berry stands at attention?

小貝瑞站在原地？

You ain't my commander in chief mother (beep)!

你不是我的總司令，媽媽！

And my vagina ain't some cave in the middle East

而且我的陰道不是中東的某個山洞

you can fly your heat seeking missile into

你可以把你的尋熱飛彈飛到

whenever you feel like it.

只要你願意

- Well, I did mean to call you,

- 我是想給你打電話的