called "True Confessions."

叫做 "真情告白"。

♪♪

♪♪

Wow.

哇哦

My first opponent is an amazing actor

我的第一個對手是一個了不起的演員

whose new animated series, "The Great North,"

其新的動畫系列 "大北方"。

airs Sundays at 8:30 p.m. on FOX.

每週日晚上8點30分在FOX電視臺播出。

Please welcome Nick Offerman.

請歡迎尼克-奧弗曼。

Nick, it is great to see you.

尼克，很高興見到你。

-Thank you, Jimmy. Good to see you.

-謝謝你，吉米謝謝你，吉米 -很高興見到你

-Nick and I will be facing off against a talented model

-尼克和我將面對一個天才模特的挑戰

who just launched a brand-new YouTube channel today.

他今天剛推出了一個全新的YouTube頻道。

Please welcome Hailey Bieber.

請歡迎海莉-比伯。

Oh!

哦！

Hailey, welcome, welcome, welcome.

海莉，歡迎，歡迎，歡迎。

I'm happy you guys are here.

我很高興你們在這裡。

Here's how this works.

這裡是如何工作的。

Each of us have two envelopes containing confessions.

我們每個人都有兩個信封，裡面裝著懺悔書。

One is true, the other is a lie.

一個是真的，另一個是假的。

Once you read your confession,

一旦你讀了你的懺悔書。

the other players will interrogate you,

其他玩家會審問你。

and then they have to come to a unanimous decision --

然後，他們必須來 一致決定 -

is it the truth or a lie?

是真話還是假話

Nick, you will go first.

尼克，你先走

Hailey, which envelope should he open,

海利，他應該打開哪個信封。

number one or number two?

一號還是二號？

-Number two.

-二號

-Yeah, I agree. -Number two.

-是的，我同意-第二條

-Yep.

-是的

-In a Tokyo -- [ Laughs ]

-在一個東京 - [笑]

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Who wrote these?

這些是誰寫的？

In a Tokyo hotel lobby,

在東京一家酒店的大廳裡。

I once offered my services to a middle-aged businessman

我曾經為一箇中年商人提供服務。

as a prostitute.

作為一個妓女。

-[ Chuckles ]

-[笑聲]

What?

什麼？

Wait, no. What -- What --

等等，不，什麼...什麼... 什麼...

Alright, what year was this?

好吧，這是哪一年？

-1991.

-1991.

-And why were you in Tokyo?

-你為什麼會在東京？

-I was touring a Kabuki theater show around Japan.

-我在日本各地巡迴演出歌舞伎劇目。

-Yeah. And you were in the Kabuki theater?

-是的你在歌舞伎劇院？

-I was. I was cast as... soldier number three.

-我是。我是。 我被選為... ... 三號阿兵哥。

-[ Laughs ]

-[笑]

It's so outlandish that I feel like it might be true.

太匪夷所思了，我覺得可能是真的。

-There was a language situation

-有一個語言問題

that maybe created a bit of a snafu.

這也許造成了一點故障。

-Ah. [ Laughs ]

-啊。[笑]

-I was going to say there's no way that's true,

-我想說這不可能是真的。

but I don't know.

但我不知道。

I think honestly that now makes me think

我想說實話，現在讓我覺得

that it actually did happen.

它實際上確實發生了。

Hailey, what do you think?

海莉，你怎麼看？

-That's -- What I was saying before is

-那是... 我之前說的是...

it sounds so outlandish that perhaps it's true.

聽起來很離奇，也許是真的。

♪♪

♪♪

-You are correct.

-你是對的

That actually did occur. [ Ding ]

這實際上確實發生了。[叮]

-Yes! -[ Laughs ]

-是的!

What happened?

怎麼了？

Wait. What did you think you were saying?

等等，你以為你在說什麼？你以為你在說什麼？

-Yeah, what was going on here?

-是的，這裡發生了什麼？

-My two friends and I

-我和我的兩個朋友

were having breakfast in this hotel lobby,

在這個酒店大堂吃早餐。

and they were also in the show.

而他們也在節目中。

And this older gentleman came over,

這位老先生就過來了。

and he was very interested to meet us.

他很有興趣和我們見面。

And we were trying to make conversation,

而我們正試圖進行對話。

and he was offering us cigarettes.

他給我們提供香菸。

And we were smokers then, so we took them.

而我們當時也是菸民，所以我們就拿了他們。

And we kept saying we're in the Kabuki show,

我們還一直說我們是在歌舞伎表演。

and his eyes would light up.

他的眼睛就會亮起來。

And so what happened was... -[ Laughs ] What?

所以發生的事情是...-[笑] 什麼？

-...Kabuki is the theater style,

-...歌舞伎是一種戲劇風格。

but it is also slang for "prostitutes."

但也是 "妓女 "的俚語。

-Oh, wow! -So we were saying to this guy,

-所以我們對這傢伙說：

"We're in a theater show,"

"我們是在演戲"

and what he was hearing is, "Hello.

而他聽到的是："你好。

We're American hookers.

我們是美國的妓女。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-It is now -- It is my turn.

-現在--輪到我了。

Which envelope should I open?

我應該打開哪個信封？

Number one, number two? Do you care?

一號，二號？你在乎嗎？

-I'll go number one.

-我做第一號

-Is that what you propositioned to the guy?

-你就是這樣向他求婚的嗎？

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Here we go.

我們走吧

One time, I accidentally dined and dashed with Alec Baldwin

有一次，我不小心和亞歷克-鮑德溫一起吃飯閃人了

because we each thought the other person paid the bill.

因為我們每個人都認為對方付了帳。

You know him.

你認識他

Questions?

有問題嗎？

-Doesn't seem impossible to me.

-我看也不是不可能

But here's what I want to know --

但我想知道的是... ...

Where were you dining?

你在哪裡吃飯？

-It was Pierre's,

-是皮埃爾的

which is a French bistro in East Hampton.

這是一家位於東漢普頓的法國小酒館。

-Oh, you're good. That's a good detail.

-哦，你真行這是一個很好的細節。

-So, Hailey, you know this turf, I presume.

-那麼，海莉，我想你應該知道這個地盤吧？

-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

-嗯哼嗯哼.

I feel like I should have a sixth sense

我覺得我應該有第六感

because this is someone I'm related to.

因為這是我的親戚。

Um...hmm.

嗯... ... 嗯。

I'm going to say

我想說

that I think that that's probably true.

我認為這可能是真的。

-I'm going to say it's true.

-我想說這是真的。

-It's false.

-這是假的

-[ Gasps ] -What?!

-什麼？

-That's the best acting I've ever done in my life!

-這是我這輩子做過的最好的表演！

We would nev--

我們不會...

I've been to dinner with Alec, but, no,

我和亞歷克一起吃過飯，但是，沒有。

we never dined and dashed at Pierre's.

我們從來沒有在皮埃爾的餐廳吃飯，也沒有在皮埃爾的餐廳衝刺。

I made the whole thing up. -You said it was an accident!

是我編的-你說這是個意外！

-I made the whole thing up!

-這都是我編的！

-Wow, you are diabolical, Jimmy.

-哇，你真是太邪惡了，吉米。

-Never, ever, ever happened.

-永遠，永遠，永遠不會發生。

Yes! That's the greatest acting.

是啊！這才是最棒的演技。這就是最偉大的演技。

I should get back into movies.

我應該回到電影中去。

-I'm impressed. I'm impressed. -Thank you.

-我印象深刻我印象深刻-謝謝你

Hailey, it is now your turn.

海莉，現在輪到你了。

Nick, which envelope should she open --

尼克，她應該打開哪個信封 --

number one or number two?

一號還是二號？

-I will go with number two, please.

-我選二號，謝謝。

-Yep. -Number two, okay.

-是的，二號，好的。

[ Sighs ]

[嘆氣]

Number two says...

二號說...

one time, I got lost on a jet ski

有一次，我在水上摩托艇上迷路了。

and was chased by a pack of wild dogs.

並被一群野狗追趕。

♪♪

♪♪

-Okay. -Phew.

-好吧

-I know. That's a thinker.

-我知道我知道，那是個思想家

It's a brain bender only because --

這是一個腦筋急轉彎，只因為 --

I'm just not seeing the wild dogs

我只是沒有看到野狗

on the water chasing you.

在水面上追逐你。

And they have to be running pretty fast

而且他們必須跑得相當快

to be chasing you on a jet ski, wouldn't you say, Nick?

乘坐噴氣式滑雪艇追你，你說是不是，尼克？

-Well, unless --

-好吧，除非...

are "The Wild Dogs" the name of a marauding gang...

"野狗 "是一個掠奪團伙的名字... ...。

-[ Laughs ] Like a jet ski gang?

-就像噴氣式滑雪團伙一樣？

-...in the Hampton area, perhaps?

-...在漢普頓地區，也許？

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-The Wild Dogs. Yeah, they're a famous jet ski gang.

-"野狗"。是的，他們是一個著名的噴氣滑雪團伙。

I've heard of these. They're like a lake gang.

我聽說過這些。他們就像一個湖泊幫派。

-No, we're talking real, live wild dogs.

-不，我們說的是真正的，活生生的野狗.

-Was it night or day?

-是白天還是黑夜？

-What are you talking -- -It was daytime.

-你在說什麼... -當時是白天.

-You can't jet ski at nighttime.

-你不能在晚上玩水上摩托艇

-Jet skiing at night sounds dangerous.

-夜間噴氣式滑雪聽起來很危險

-Yeah.

-是的

-I'm not a big jet ski enthusiast.

-我不是一個大的噴氣滑雪愛好者。

I apologize.

我向你道歉

You --

你...

Did you survive the encounter?

你在這次相遇中活下來了嗎？

-[ Laughs ]

-[笑]

Obviously.

很明顯

Alright. Wait a second.

好吧，等一下等一下

-Well, I'm here.

-好吧，我在這裡。

-Yes, you're here.

-是的，你來了

Well, how did you get to land?

那你是怎麼著陸的？

I'm assuming they chased you around the beach.

我猜他們在海灘上追著你跑。

-We were actually doing a little boat excursion,

-我們實際上是在做一個小船遊覽。

and we had taken the jet skis off the boat...

我們把水上摩托艇從船上拿下來... ...

-Okay. Alright. Here we go. -...to explore,

-好的好吧。 - 好吧。好了，我們開始吧-...去探索,

and we ended up just barely making it back

而我們最終只是勉強回來了

after a few of the jet skis had died.

在幾個噴氣式滑板死後。

-Yep. This is -- You know why this is true?

-是的，這是...這就是... 你知道為什麼這是真的嗎？

Nick? Because I was a model myself,

尼克？因為我自己也是個模特。

and when you are successful, you do -- you party.

當你成功的時候，你就會... ...你就會參加派對。

-Okay. Jimmy, did I hear correctly?

-好的吉米，我沒聽錯吧？

Are you attempting to tell me what models do?

你是想告訴我模型是幹什麼的嗎？

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

As though I'm not a very --

好像我不是一個很...

-No, no, no, no, no, no, I would never say that.

-不，不，不，不，不，不，不，我永遠不會說。

That is not -- Dude, no no.

這不是... 老兄，不，不。

I would never -- Sorry to insult you.

我絕不會... 對不起，侮辱你。

Dude, I've known you for a long time. So --

夥計，我認識你很久了。所以...

-I'm -- Listen, I mean, I guess I'm either gullible

-我是... 聽著，我是說，我想我要麼是容易受騙，要麼是...

or you guys are very talented,

或者你們很有天賦。

because I'm also leaning towards believing this story.

因為我也傾向於相信這個故事。

And also, I'm just going to text my business manager real quick

而且，我只是要發短信給我的業務經理真正的快。

because I'm going to invent

因為我要發明

a jet ski with a headlight and --

一個帶頭燈的噴氣式滑雪板和...

-[ Laughing ] Oh, my God.

-哦，我的上帝。

That's not the point of all of this!

這不是這一切的重點!

-Get the [bleep]

-拿到[嗶]。

-Chased by wild dogs on a jet ski,

-被野狗騎著摩托艇追趕。

which is, honestly, that is an insane story.

這是，說實話，這是一個瘋狂的故事。

I'm going to say it sounds so bizarre that it's true.

我想說這聽起來很詭異，是真的。

-I agree. We say true.

-我同意我同意 -我們說的是真的

-You guys are correct.

-你們是正確的。

[ Laughing ] That is a true story.

[笑] 這是一個真實的故事。

-My thanks to Nick Offerman, Hailey Bieber.

我感謝尼克-奧弗曼，海莉-比伯。

That was "True Confessions."

那是 "真情告白"。