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  • ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

    嘿,大家好!

  • WELCOME BACK.

    歡迎回來。

  • YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE BEST THINGS ABOUT

    你知道嗎,最好的事情之一就是

  • DOING THIS SHOW IS GETTING TO TALK TO ALL SORTS OF FASCINATING

    做這個節目是要跟所有類型的FASCINATING交談。

  • PEOPLE.

    人。

  • BUT IT'S HARD TO FULLY EXPLORE A GUEST'S PSYCHE IN JUST TEN

    但要在短短的十天內完全瞭解客人的心理是很難的。

  • MINUTES OVER ZOOM.

    MINUTES OVER ZOOM.

  • WHICH IS WHY WE HERE AT THE LATE SHOW CREATED "THE COLBERT

    這就是為什麼我們在晚間節目中創造了 "科爾伯特"。

  • QUESTIONERT."

    QUESTIONERT."

  • IT'S A SERIES OF 15 QUESTIONS SCIENTIFICALLY CALIBRATED TO

    它是一系列的15個問題的科學計算,以

  • REVEAL A PERSON'S TRUEST SELF: EVERYTHING FROM YOUR PRIMAL

    揭示一個人最真實的自我。從你的本體出發...

  • FEARS TO YOUR FAVORITE SANDWICH TO THE SANDWICH YOU'RE MOST

    恐懼到你最喜歡的三明治到你最喜歡的三明治。

  • AFRAID OF.

    害怕:

  • AND I RECENTLY HAD THE PLEASURE OF ADMINISTERING THE QUESTIONERT

    而我最近也很榮幸地擔任了這個問題的管理員。

  • TO HOLLYWOOD LEGEND BILLY CRYSTAL.

    致好萊塢傳奇人物比利-克萊斯塔爾。

  • FORGET "WHEN HARRY MET SALLY"-- THIS IS "WHEN HARRY MET BILLY."

    忘記 "當哈里遇見莎莉",這是 "當哈里遇見比利"。

  • ♪♪♪ BILLY CRYSTAL, LOVELY TO HAVE

    BILLY CRYSTAL, LOVELY TO HAVE.

  • YOU HERE.

    你在這裡。

  • ALWAYS ENJOY.

    永遠享受。

  • AS I'VE ALWAYS SAID, A VACATION TO TALK TO YOU.

    就像我一直說的那樣,一個和你說話的假期。

  • ONE TO HAVE THE PROBLEMS WITH THESE JOBS IS YOU GET TO MEET A

    這些工作的一個問題是你要去見一個人。

  • LOT OF PEOPLE, BUT IT'S HARD TO PLUNGE THE DEPTHS AND REVEAL THE

    很多人,但它很難深入到深處,並揭示了。

  • SOUL OF THE PEOPLE YOU'RE TALKING TO BUT I HAVE COME UP

    你說的那些人的靈魂,但我已經上來了。

  • WITH A FOOLPROOF QUESTION QUESTI ON FUNK AND WAG NAIL'S POMP.

    與一個愚蠢的問題QUESTI對FUNK和WAG NAIL的POMP。

  • SINCE NOON TODAY, I'LL ASK YOU THESE 15 QUESTIONS.

    從今天中午開始,我將問你這15個問題。

  • BILLY CRYSTAL, WHAT IS THE BEST SANDWICH?

    BILLY CRYSTAL,什麼是最好的三明治?

  • >> PRESIDENT BUSH, JELLY, WHITE BREAD.

    >> 布什總統,果凍,白麵包。

  • >> Stephen: SIMPLE, CLASSY, I LIKE IT.

    >> Stephen: SIMPLE, CLASSY, I LIKE IT.

  • WHAT'S THE ONE THING THAT YOU OWN THAT YOU REALLY SHOULD THROW

    你有什麼東西應該扔掉?

  • OUT?

    OUT?

  • >> HMM...

    >> HMM...

  • OH...

    哦...

  • I GUESS MY BELL BOTTOMS.

    我猜我的鈴鐺底。

  • >> Stephen: DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE BELL BOTTOMS?

    >> 史蒂芬:你真的有貝爾底嗎?

  • >> YEAH, I KEEP A LOT OF STUFF.

    >> 是的,我保留了很多東西。

  • >> Stephen: WHAT'S THE SCARIEST ANIMAL?

    >> 史蒂芬:什麼是最可怕的動物?

  • >> THE SPITTING COBRA.

    >> 《吐絲眼鏡蛇》。

  • >> Stephen: BECAUSE IT'S RUDE?

    >> 史蒂芬:因為它是粗魯的?

  • NO, BECAUSE IT'S WEIRD.

    不,因為它很怪異。

  • YOU KNOW, IT STANDS UP AND IT SPITS AND IF IT GETS IN YOUR

    你知道,它站起來,它吐,如果它進入你的。

  • EYES, YOU'RE BLIND, THEN IT KILLS.

    眼睛,你是盲目的,然後它殺了。

  • BUT, YEAH, IT'S ANY KIND OF SNAKE.

    但是,是的,它是任何種類的蛇。

  • WE HAD A RATTLESNAKE HERE NOT LONG AGO IN THE FRONT YARD, AND

    我們這裡不久前有一隻老鼠蛇在前院,而且。

  • IT WAS REALLY TERRIFYING.

    這真是太可怕了。

  • SO, YEAH.

    所以,是的。

  • >> Stephen: APPLES OR ORANGES?

    >> 史蒂芬:蘋果還是橘子?

  • OH, APPLES.

    哦,蘋果。

  • >> Stephen: OF COURSE.

    >> 史蒂芬:當然。

  • YOU CAN PUT PRESID PEANUT BUTTER SLICE OF APPLE.

    你可以把PRESID花生醬片的蘋果。

  • >> YEAH.

    >> 是的。

  • >> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR

    >> 斯蒂芬: 你有沒有問過別人的名字?

  • AUTOGRAPH?

    AUTOGRAPH?

  • >> OH, I STILL DO.

    >> 哦,我還在做。

  • >> Stephen: WHO'S THE LAST PERSON YOU ASKED?

    >> 史蒂芬:你最後問的一個人是誰?

  • DO YOU HAVE ONE THAT COMES TO MIND, EVEN IF IT'S NOT THE EXACT

    你是否有一個想到的,即使不是完全一樣的。

  • LAST?

    LAST?

  • >> THIS WAS INTERESTING.

    >> 這很有趣。

  • I WAS AT A CLEVELAND INDIANS/NEW YORK YANKEES PLAYOFF

    我在克利夫蘭印第安人隊/紐約揚基隊的比賽中。

  • GAME AND I SAT NEXT TO A MAN NAMED LARRY DOBIE.

    我和GAME坐在一個叫LARRY DOBIE的人旁邊。

  • LARRY DOBIE WAS THE FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN TO PLAY IN THE

    LARRY DOBIE是第一個參加過 "非洲人 "比賽的非洲裔美國人。

  • AMERICAN LEAGUE, WHEN JACKIE ROBINSON BROKE THE BARRIER WITH

    美洲聯盟,當傑基-羅賓遜用它打破了障礙。

  • THE DODGERS, OF COURSE, LARRY DOBIE WAS BASICALLY BUZZ ALDRIN,

    道奇隊,當然,拉里・杜比是基本的BUZZ ALDRIN。

  • WAS THE SECOND, AND HE PLAYED WITH THE CLEVELAND INDIANS.

    他是第二個,他和克利夫蘭印第安人隊一起打球。

  • I HAPPENED TO SIT NEXT TO HIM.

    我碰巧坐在他旁邊。

  • HE'S A VERY DISTINGUISHED MAN.

    他是一個非常遙遠的人。

  • I ASKED HIM TO SIGN A BALL AND HE DID.

    我讓他籤個球,他就簽了。

  • VERY LOVELY.

    非常可愛。

  • >> Stephen: HANK AARON, YOU HAVE BASEBALL PLAYERS.

    >> 漢克-阿倫,你有棒球運動員。

  • >> I HAVE SO MANY.

    >> 我有這麼多。

  • IT'S A BIG PASSION OF MINE.

    這是我的一大愛好。

  • >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE?

    >> 你認為我們死後會發生什麼?

  • >> WE GO INTO SYNDICATION.

    >> 我們進入同步。

  • >> Stephen: FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE?

    >> Stephen:最喜歡的動作片?

  • >> RAIDERS"RAIDERS OF THE LOST A >> Stephen: I'M GOING TO GO

    >> 奪寶奇兵 "奪寶奇兵之迷途知返 >> 史蒂芬:我要走了。

  • WITH YOU ON THAT ONE BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING LIKE MELTING

    和你一起,因為沒有什麼比融化更重要的了。

  • NAZIS.

    納粹。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE SMELL?

    你有一個最喜歡的氣味?

  • >> YES, MY NEWBORN BABIES.

    >> 是的,我的新生兒。

  • >> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF THOSE?

    >> 史蒂芬:你有很多這樣的東西嗎?

  • SMELL DOESN'T LAST VERY LONG.

    氣味不會持續很久。

  • YOU'VE GOT TO GET FRESH ONES ALL THE TIME.

    你得一直買新鮮的。

  • >> WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE, NOTHING LIKE THE BABY SMELL.

    >> 當他們還小的時候,沒有什麼像嬰兒的味道。

  • >> Stephen: TOP TO HAVE THE HEAD.

    >> 史蒂芬:上有頭。

  • LEAST FAVORITE SMELL.

    最不喜歡的味道:

  • >> MY NEWBORN BABIES.

    >> 我的新生兒。

  • >> Stephen: GOT IT, THE OTHER END.

    >> 明白了,另一個結局。

  • >> YEAH.

    >> 是的。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: EXEFER SIZE, IS IT

    (笑) >> 史蒂芬: EXEFER尺寸,是嗎?

  • WORTH IT?

    值得嗎?

  • >> SURE, ABSOLUTELY.

    >> 當然,當然。

  • >> Stephen: EVERY SINGLE PERSON I'VE ASKED THIS QUESTION

    >> Stephen: 我問過的每一個人都會問這個問題

  • HAS LIED.

    騙了。

  • OKAY.

    好的。

  • FLAT OR SPARKLING?

    平坦的還是閃光的?

  • >> SPARKLING.

    >> 旌旗招展。

  • >> Stephen: LET'S HAVE A PARTY.

    >> 讓我們開個派對吧。

  • MOST USED APP ON YOUR PHONE?

    您手機上最常用的APP?

  • >> THERE'S TWO -- WELL, ALL RIGHT, CALM.

    >> 有兩個... 好了,冷靜點。

  • >> Stephen: OH, THAT'S NICE.

    >> 史蒂芬:哦,那很好。

  • DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE -- IT PLAYS SOUNDS, RIGHT?

    你有一個最喜歡的 -- 它能播放聲音,對嗎?

  • >> THERE ARE SAYINGS, THERE IS MUSIC.

    >> 有句話,有音樂。

  • I JUST STARTED THIS DURING THIS HORRIBLE TIME.

    我剛剛開始這期間這個可怕的時間。

  • JUST, LIKE, OOOH, WHAT IS THIS, AND I JUST PUT IT ON FOR A

    只是,喜歡,哦,這是什麼,我只是把它放在一個。

  • LITTLE BIT.

    一點點。

  • >> Stephen: YOU GET TO LISTEN TO ONE SONG FOR THE REST OF YOUR

    >> 史蒂芬: 你可以在你的餘生中只聽一首歌。

  • LIFE, WHAT IS IT?

    生命,是什麼?

  • >> WELL, WE WOULD JUST -- WE JUST HAD OUR 50th WEDDING

    >> 好吧,我們只是 - 我們剛剛度過了我們的第50個婚禮。

  • ANNIVERSARY.

    週年紀念。

  • >> Stephen: MAZEL TOV.

    >> Stephen: MAZEL TOV.

  • THANK YOU.

    謝謝你。

  • AND THE SONG WE DANCED TO IS A SONG CALLED "THAT'S ALL,"

    我們跳的是一首叫 "That's all "的歌。

  • RECORDED BY NAT KING COLE.

    由NAT KING COLE錄製。

  • ♪ I CAN ONLY GIVE YOU LOVE THAT LASTS FOREVER

    我只能給你的愛是永恆的

  • AND THE PROMISE TO BE NEAR EACH TIME YOU CALL

    和承諾,以接近每一次你的電話

  • AND A LOVE WHO'S BURNING BRIGHT CAN WARM A WINTER'S

    和愛誰的燃燒明亮可以溫暖一個冬天的

  • NIGHT ♪ ♪ THAT'S ALL

    夜晚,這是所有

  • >> Stephen: WHAT NUMBER AM I THINKING OF.

    >> 斯蒂芬:我在想什麼數字。

  • ♪ I CAN ONLY GIVE YOU WALKS IN SPRINGTIME AND A HAND TO HOLD

    我只能給你散步在春天的時間和手握住

  • WHEN LEAVES BEGIN TO FALL.

    當葉子開始落下時。

  • >> Stephen: WHAT NUMBER AM I THINKING OF?

    >> Stephen: 我在想什麼數字?

  • >> SEVEN.

    >>七:

  • >> Stephen: NO.

    >> 史蒂芬:沒有。

  • DESCRIBE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.

    用五個字來描述你生命的其餘部分。

  • >> SEX, SEX, SEX, LAUGHS, SEX.

    >> 性,性,性,性,笑,性。

  • >> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS, BILLY.

    >> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS, BILLY.

  • >> HOW DID I DO?

    >> 我是怎麼做的?

  • YOU ARE FINALLY KNOWN.

    你終於知道了。

  • BILLY CRYSTAL, EVERYBODY.

    BILLY CRYSTAL, EVERYBODY.

  • THANK YOU, SIR.

    謝謝你,先生。

  • >> GREAT TO BE WITH YOU AGAIN.

    >> 很高興能和你在一起。

  • >> Stephen: NICELY TO SEE YOU, TOO.

    >> 史蒂芬:也很高興見到你。

  • ♪♪♪ THANKS AGAIN TO BILLY CRYSTAL.

    再次感謝比利-克萊斯塔爾。

  • WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH EMMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR AARON PAUL.

    我們馬上回來,艾美獎獲獎演員AARON PAUL。

  • ♪♪♪

    ♪♪♪

♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

嘿,大家好!

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