"The Tonight Show," everyone!

"今夜秀"，各位！

[ Cheering and applause ]

[歡呼和掌聲]

Well, guys, it's Friday night!

好了，夥計們，這是星期五晚上！

[ Cheering and applause ]

[歡呼和掌聲]

The weekend is here. It's time to check out

週末到了。是時候去看看

New York's newest hot spot that's open all night long --

紐約最新的熱點，通宵營業 ---------------------。

the Javits Center mass vaccination site!

賈維茨中心大規模疫苗接種現場!

[ Cheering and applause ] Ow-w!

[歡呼和掌聲] Ow -w！

-[ Imitates vuvuzela blasting ]

-[模仿vuvuzela爆破聲]

Yeah, since it's Friday,

是的，因為今天是星期五。

let's kick off the weekend with some good news.

讓我們用一些好消息來開啟這個週末。

For the first time since the pandemic began,

疫情發生以來，首次。

a majority of Americans now believe the COVID situation

大多數美國人現在認為COVID的情況下，

in the United States is getting better.

在美國越來越好。

That's right, 60% of Americans are feeling good.

沒錯，60%的美國人都感覺不錯。

Then, people realized today was the last episode

後來，大家才知道今天是最後一集

of "Wandavision," and that number dropped to less than 1%.

的 "Wandavision"，而這一數字下降到不到1%。

[ Laughter ] But, still.

[笑] 但是，仍然。

But, still, moods are definitely improving.

不過，心情還是肯定有改善的。

Today, everyone's Apple Watch was like, "Okay, superstar,

今天，大家的Apple Watch就像 "好吧，超級明星。

look who took 14 steps today.

看誰今天走了14步。

[ Laughter and applause ] Keep up the good work."

[笑聲和掌聲] 保持良好的工作。"

Yeah, we're all excited for a future

是啊，我們都對未來感到興奮。

that doesn't involve Clorox-wiping our bananas.

這不涉及到克洛澤擦拭我們的香蕉。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

We might even have a normal summer.

我們甚至可能有一個正常的夏天。

[ Cheering and applause ]

[歡呼和掌聲]

Like like there's a chance --

就像有一個機會 -

There's a chance I can be there in a packed stadium

我有機會在一個擁擠的體育場裡看到你。

the next time Dr. Fauci

下次Fauci醫生

embarrasses himself with that first pitch.

尷尬的是，他的第一投。

[ Laughter ] -Aw.

[笑]哦。

-Bwuh-buh.

-呸呸呸

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

Don't worry. Don't worry.

別擔心，別擔心別擔心，別擔心

Why are you worried? I would never --

你為什麼擔心？我絕不會...

I'm not going to show your pitch.

我不會讓你看你的投稿。

I'm not going to show it.

我不會給你看的。

-Okay. -But our director, Alex, might.

-好吧 但我們的導演，亞歷克斯，可能會。

-Hey, man!

-嘿，夥計！

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Ah-bweh-weh.

-啊，威，威。

Not quite. Alright.

不完全是好吧，我知道了

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

Ah!

啊！

[ Applause ] -Not funny.

[掌聲] 不好笑。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Not only are people feeling better about COVID,

-人們不僅對COVID的感覺好了。

they're also feeling good about President Biden.

他們對拜登總統也有好感。

A new AP poll puts his approval rating at 60%.

美聯社的最新民調顯示，他的支持率為60%。

We're living through strange times.

我們生活在一個奇怪的時代。

60% approve of Biden

60%支持拜登

and 40% still believe Trump is president.

而40%的人仍然相信特朗普是總統。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Speaking of Biden, yesterday, he met with members of the House

說到拜登，昨天，他會見了眾議院成員。

to discuss jobs and infrastructure

討論就業和基礎設施

and I thought some of his remarks

我認為他的一些言論

were pretty interesting. Here, watch this.

是相當有趣的。在這裡，看這個。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

-That's not all he said.

-他說的還不止這些。

Later, this happened.

後來，發生了這樣的事情。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

-What?

-什麼？

[ Laughter ] It's odd that he was just talking about that,

[笑]這很奇怪，他只是說說而已。

but he said other things, too. Listen.

但他也說了其他的事情。聽好了

[ Laughter ] Here he is, talking about --

[笑]他在這裡，談論 -

Here he is, talking about the good old days.

他在這裡，說著過去的美好時光。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Applause ]

[掌聲]

Finally, he ended the meeting by --

最後，他在會議結束時說：

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

by saying this --

這樣說 -- --

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Laughter and applause ] I'm just surprised nobody stopped him.

[笑聲和掌聲]我只是驚訝 沒有人阻止他。

That's just insane, you know? Anyway.

這簡直是瘋了，你知道嗎？無論如何，你知道嗎？

Guys, Congress is getting close

夥計們，國會越來越近了

to passing its COVID relief bill,

通過其COVID救濟法案。

but Republican Senator John Kennedy

但共和黨參議員約翰-肯尼迪

isn't supporting it and he used a pretty strange phrase

並不支持，他用了一個很奇怪的詞組

to describe the bill. Watch this.

來描述該法案。看這個。

-This feels dreadful.

-這感覺太可怕了

Billions of dollars to pension programs;

數十億美元用於養老金項目。

billions of dollars to schools,

向學校提供數十億美元；

with no requirement that they open.

與不要求他們開。

It's an orgy of pork.

這是一場豬肉的狂歡。

[ Laughter and applause ] -Oh!

[笑聲和掌聲] 哦！

-If "orgy of pork" sounds familiar,

-如果 "豬肉的狂歡 "聽起來很耳熟的話。

that's because it's the newest sandwich at Arby's.

這是因為它是最新的三明治 在Arby's。

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

Some more entertainment news.

再來點娛樂新聞。

I saw new photos from the "Space Jam" sequel,

我看到了 "太空果醬 "續集的新照片。

starring LeBron James was just released.

由勒布朗-詹姆斯主演的電影剛剛上映。

But here's what's making the headlines.

但是，這裡的頭條新聞是什麼。

The director said that they decided to make Lola Bunny

導演說，他們決定拍《兔子蘿拉》。

less sexualized than in the first movie.

比第一部電影中的性愛更少。

And, if you're upset about this,

還有，如果你對這個很不爽。

take a cold shower

洗冷水澡

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

and, while you're in there, reevaluate your entire life.

而且，當你在那裡， 重新評估你的整個生活。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

I just wish Tom Brokaw hadn't retired

我只是希望湯姆-布羅考沒有退休。

because I'd love to hear him read this story, like --

因為我很想聽他讀這個故事，就像 --

[ As Brokaw ] Cartoon vixen Lola Bunny

[作為Brokaw] 卡通狐狸精勞拉兔

was redesigned to reduce her sexual appeal.

被重新設計，以減少她的性吸引力。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

It's been a tough week for conservatives.

對保守派來說，這是艱難的一週。

They're like, "We just want our bunnies sexy,

他們就像，"我們只是想讓我們的兔子性感。

our children's books offensive,

我們的兒童書籍令人反感。

and our potatoes with penises!"

和我們的洋芋與陰莖！"

[ Laughter ] -Oh! Oh!

哦，哦！

-And, finally, listen to this --

-最後，聽聽這個...

there are new photos of a supersonic jet

有超音速飛機的新照片。

that could someday fly from New York City to London

有一天可以從紐約飛到倫敦

in 90 minutes. -Whoo!

90分鐘後-哇！

-Check this thing out.

-看看這個東西

Look at that. Yeah, it's 90 minutes in the air

你看那個。是啊，這是90分鐘的空氣。

to London, and then another 90

到倫敦，然後又是90

to get spatula'd out of your seat.

讓鏟子從你的座位上離開。

[ Laughter and applause ] We have a great show, everyone!

[笑聲和掌聲] 我們有一個偉大的節目，大家！