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  • -Welcome, welcome to

    -歡迎,歡迎來到

  • "The Tonight Show," everyone!

    "今夜秀",各位!

  • [ Cheering and applause ]

    [歡呼和掌聲]

  • Well, guys, it's Friday night!

    好了,夥計們,這是星期五晚上!

  • [ Cheering and applause ]

    [歡呼和掌聲]

  • The weekend is here. It's time to check out

    週末到了。是時候去看看

  • New York's newest hot spot that's open all night long --

    紐約最新的熱點,通宵營業 ---------------------。

  • the Javits Center mass vaccination site!

    賈維茨中心大規模疫苗接種現場!

  • [ Cheering and applause ] Ow-w!

    [歡呼和掌聲] Ow -w!

  • -[ Imitates vuvuzela blasting ]

    -[模仿vuvuzela爆破聲]

  • Yeah, since it's Friday,

    是的,因為今天是星期五。

  • let's kick off the weekend with some good news.

    讓我們用一些好消息來開啟這個週末。

  • For the first time since the pandemic began,

    疫情發生以來,首次。

  • a majority of Americans now believe the COVID situation

    大多數美國人現在認為COVID的情況下,

  • in the United States is getting better.

    在美國越來越好。

  • That's right, 60% of Americans are feeling good.

    沒錯,60%的美國人都感覺不錯。

  • Then, people realized today was the last episode

    後來,大家才知道今天是最後一集

  • of "Wandavision," and that number dropped to less than 1%.

    的 "Wandavision",而這一數字下降到不到1%。

  • [ Laughter ] But, still.

    [笑] 但是,仍然。

  • But, still, moods are definitely improving.

    不過,心情還是肯定有改善的。

  • Today, everyone's Apple Watch was like, "Okay, superstar,

    今天,大家的Apple Watch就像 "好吧,超級明星。

  • look who took 14 steps today.

    看誰今天走了14步。

  • [ Laughter and applause ] Keep up the good work."

    [笑聲和掌聲] 保持良好的工作。"

  • Yeah, we're all excited for a future

    是啊,我們都對未來感到興奮。

  • that doesn't involve Clorox-wiping our bananas.

    這不涉及到克洛澤擦拭我們的香蕉。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • We might even have a normal summer.

    我們甚至可能有一個正常的夏天。

  • [ Cheering and applause ]

    [歡呼和掌聲]

  • Like like there's a chance --

    就像有一個機會 -

  • There's a chance I can be there in a packed stadium

    我有機會在一個擁擠的體育場裡看到你。

  • the next time Dr. Fauci

    下次Fauci醫生

  • embarrasses himself with that first pitch.

    尷尬的是,他的第一投。

  • [ Laughter ] -Aw.

    [笑]哦。

  • -Bwuh-buh.

    -呸呸呸

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

    [笑聲和掌聲]

  • Don't worry. Don't worry.

    別擔心,別擔心別擔心,別擔心

  • Why are you worried? I would never --

    你為什麼擔心?我絕不會...

  • I'm not going to show your pitch.

    我不會讓你看你的投稿。

  • I'm not going to show it.

    我不會給你看的。

  • -Okay. -But our director, Alex, might.

    -好吧 但我們的導演,亞歷克斯,可能會。

  • -Hey, man!

    -嘿,夥計!

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • -Ah-bweh-weh.

    -啊,威,威。

  • Not quite. Alright.

    不完全是好吧,我知道了

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

    [笑聲和掌聲]

  • Ah!

    啊!

  • [ Applause ] -Not funny.

    [掌聲] 不好笑。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • -Not only are people feeling better about COVID,

    -人們不僅對COVID的感覺好了。

  • they're also feeling good about President Biden.

    他們對拜登總統也有好感。

  • A new AP poll puts his approval rating at 60%.

    美聯社的最新民調顯示,他的支持率為60%。

  • We're living through strange times.

    我們生活在一個奇怪的時代。

  • 60% approve of Biden

    60%支持拜登

  • and 40% still believe Trump is president.

    而40%的人仍然相信特朗普是總統。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Speaking of Biden, yesterday, he met with members of the House

    說到拜登,昨天,他會見了眾議院成員。

  • to discuss jobs and infrastructure

    討論就業和基礎設施

  • and I thought some of his remarks

    我認為他的一些言論

  • were pretty interesting. Here, watch this.

    是相當有趣的。在這裡,看這個。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

    [笑聲和掌聲]

  • -That's not all he said.

    -他說的還不止這些。

  • Later, this happened.

    後來,發生了這樣的事情。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

    [笑聲和掌聲]

  • -What?

    -什麼?

  • [ Laughter ] It's odd that he was just talking about that,

    [笑]這很奇怪,他只是說說而已。

  • but he said other things, too. Listen.

    但他也說了其他的事情。聽好了

  • [ Laughter ] Here he is, talking about --

    [笑]他在這裡,談論 -

  • Here he is, talking about the good old days.

    他在這裡,說著過去的美好時光。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Applause ]

    [掌聲]

  • Finally, he ended the meeting by --

    最後,他在會議結束時說:

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • by saying this --

    這樣說 -- --

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Laughter and applause ] I'm just surprised nobody stopped him.

    [笑聲和掌聲]我只是驚訝 沒有人阻止他。

  • That's just insane, you know? Anyway.

    這簡直是瘋了,你知道嗎?無論如何,你知道嗎?

  • Guys, Congress is getting close

    夥計們,國會越來越近了

  • to passing its COVID relief bill,

    通過其COVID救濟法案。

  • but Republican Senator John Kennedy

    但共和黨參議員約翰-肯尼迪

  • isn't supporting it and he used a pretty strange phrase

    並不支持,他用了一個很奇怪的詞組

  • to describe the bill. Watch this.

    來描述該法案。看這個。

  • -This feels dreadful.

    -這感覺太可怕了

  • Billions of dollars to pension programs;

    數十億美元用於養老金項目。

  • billions of dollars to schools,

    向學校提供數十億美元;

  • with no requirement that they open.

    與不要求他們開。

  • It's an orgy of pork.

    這是一場豬肉的狂歡。

  • [ Laughter and applause ] -Oh!

    [笑聲和掌聲] 哦!

  • -If "orgy of pork" sounds familiar,

    -如果 "豬肉的狂歡 "聽起來很耳熟的話。

  • that's because it's the newest sandwich at Arby's.

    這是因為它是最新的三明治 在Arby's。

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

    [笑聲和掌聲]

  • Some more entertainment news.

    再來點娛樂新聞。

  • I saw new photos from the "Space Jam" sequel,

    我看到了 "太空果醬 "續集的新照片。

  • starring LeBron James was just released.

    由勒布朗-詹姆斯主演的電影剛剛上映。

  • But here's what's making the headlines.

    但是,這裡的頭條新聞是什麼。

  • The director said that they decided to make Lola Bunny

    導演說,他們決定拍《兔子蘿拉》。

  • less sexualized than in the first movie.

    比第一部電影中的性愛更少。

  • And, if you're upset about this,

    還有,如果你對這個很不爽。

  • take a cold shower

    洗冷水澡

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • and, while you're in there, reevaluate your entire life.

    而且,當你在那裡, 重新評估你的整個生活。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • I just wish Tom Brokaw hadn't retired

    我只是希望湯姆-布羅考沒有退休。

  • because I'd love to hear him read this story, like --

    因為我很想聽他讀這個故事,就像 --

  • [ As Brokaw ] Cartoon vixen Lola Bunny

    [作為Brokaw] 卡通狐狸精勞拉兔

  • was redesigned to reduce her sexual appeal.

    被重新設計,以減少她的性吸引力。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • It's been a tough week for conservatives.

    對保守派來說,這是艱難的一週。

  • They're like, "We just want our bunnies sexy,

    他們就像,"我們只是想讓我們的兔子性感。

  • our children's books offensive,

    我們的兒童書籍令人反感。

  • and our potatoes with penises!"

    和我們的洋芋與陰莖!"

  • [ Laughter ] -Oh! Oh!

    哦,哦!

  • -And, finally, listen to this --

    -最後,聽聽這個...

  • there are new photos of a supersonic jet

    有超音速飛機的新照片。

  • that could someday fly from New York City to London

    有一天可以從紐約飛到倫敦

  • in 90 minutes. -Whoo!

    90分鐘後-哇!

  • -Check this thing out.

    -看看這個東西

  • Look at that. Yeah, it's 90 minutes in the air

    你看那個。是啊,這是90分鐘的空氣。

  • to London, and then another 90

    到倫敦,然後又是90

  • to get spatula'd out of your seat.

    讓鏟子從你的座位上離開。

  • [ Laughter and applause ] We have a great show, everyone!

    [笑聲和掌聲] 我們有一個偉大的節目,大家!

-Welcome, welcome to

-歡迎,歡迎來到

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B1 中級 中文 TheTonightShow 笑聲 掌聲 歡呼 拜登 豬肉

拜登的支持率達到60%,Lola Bunny的太空果醬改頭換面|《今夜秀場》。 (Biden’s Approval Rating Hits 60%, Lola Bunny’s Space Jam Makeover | The Tonight Show)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 03 月 06 日
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