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  • Catherine Zeta Jones

    * 凱瑟琳-澤塔-瓊斯 *

  • She dips beneath lasers

    ? 她浸在脈衝光之下?

  • Oh, oh, oh

    * Oh, oh, oh *

  • You got to, you got to, you got to

    你一定要,你一定要,你一定要

  • Got to be fresh

    必須是新鮮的

  • - Woo, let's do this, boys!

    - 嗚,讓我們做到這一點,男孩!

  • Looking swole, looking good, good luck out there.

    看起來很好,看起來很好,祝你好運。

  • I believe in all of us.

    我相信我們所有人。

  • We're all gonna take a trophy home.

    我們都會帶一個獎盃回家。

  • - You the mascot for the competition or something?

    - 你是比賽的吉祥物還是什麼?

  • - Are you the mascot for the competition or something?

    - 你是比賽的吉祥物還是什麼?

  • Do we have beef already, dude?

    我們已經有牛肉了嗎,夥計?

  • - Just be careful out there, all right?

    - 在外面要小心,好嗎?

  • - Careful? I never am.

    - 小心點?我從不小心

  • Woo!

    嗚!

  • (Adam groaning)

    (亞當呻吟)

  • - Welcome to

    - 歡迎來到

  • the Tri-Valley Amateur Bodybuilder's Competition.

    三谷業餘健美運動員的比賽。

  • Give it up for our contenders.

    放棄我們的競爭者。

  • (audience applauding) (triumphant orchestral music)

    (觀眾鼓掌) (勝利的交響樂)

  • - Dude, that's Barry.

    - 夥計,那是巴里。

  • I sold that guy a garbage bag full of growth hormones.

    我賣給那個傢伙一個裝滿生長激素的垃圾袋。

  • Aye, you're looking huge, Barry!

    你看起來好大啊,巴里!

  • - [Anders] Wow, this is pathetic.

    - [安德斯]哇,這是可憐的。

  • Adam looks like a baby man up there.

    亞當在上面看起來像個小男人

  • (heavy metal music)

    (重金屬音樂)

  • (Adam yelling)

    (亞當大喊)

  • - Please welcome to the stage our next contestant.

    - 有請下一位選手上臺。

  • He's 5'8", weighing in at 240 pounds,

    他身高5尺8寸,體重240磅。

  • well, that can't be right.

    好了,這不可能是正確的。

  • Adam "The Snake" Roberts DeMamp!

    亞當 "蛇 "羅伯茨-德曼普!

  • - All right. - Here we go.

    - 好吧,我們開始吧。- 在這裡,我們去。

  • (chill hip hop music)

    (寒冷的嘻哈音樂)

  • (Adam grunting)

    (亞當叫聲)

  • (Adam making weird noises)

    (亞當發出奇怪的聲音)

  • - You know what, I stand corrected.

    - 你知道嗎,我站在糾正。

  • The guy is a showman.

    這傢伙是個戲子。

  • - [Karl] His body is looking tight.

    - [卡爾]他的身體看起來很緊。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • (Adam grunting) (audience laughing)

    (亞當叫聲)(觀眾笑)。

  • - Okay, that's not good.

    - 好吧,這不是很好。

  • - What are you laughing at?

    - 你在笑什麼?

  • I'm yoked!

    我被綁住了!

  • - Don't laugh at my friend.

    - 不要笑我的朋友。

  • Okay, only I laugh at my friend.

    好吧,只有我笑我的朋友。

  • He's got like 10 times more the bravery than you.

    他的勇氣是你的十倍。

  • I don't see you with your shirt off.

    我沒看到你脫了衣服的樣子。

  • You probably got big, dark nipples.

    你可能有又大又黑的乳頭。

  • Adam, you keep doing what you're doing, bud.

    亞當,你繼續做你正在做的事,夥計。

  • No, no, no, they're laughing out of respect.

    不,不,不,他們是出於尊重而笑。

  • It's a respect laugh.

    這是一種尊重的笑。

  • Howie Mandel gets them all the time.

    豪伊-曼德爾總是能得到他們的幫助。

  • Got to be fresh

    必須是新鮮的

  • - [Blake] Oh, hey, what's up, Adam.

    - [布雷克]哦,嘿,這是怎麼回事,亞當。

  • You are looking straight jacked, dude.

    你在看直挺挺的,夥計。

  • - I can't go to Hedonism.

    - 我不能去海頓教。

  • I'm not gonna have a good time, I won't get laid.

    我不會有一個好時機,我不會得到奠定。

  • - What, why? - Why is that?

    - 什麼,為什麼?- 為什麼會這樣?

  • - Because my dick fell off! (everyone laughing)

    - 因為我的雞巴掉了!(大家笑)

  • Oh, just kidding, I tucked it back,

    開個玩笑,我把它塞回去了。

  • it actually hurts a lot.

    其實很疼的。

  • My dick's back here though. ♪ Got to be fresh

    我的老二回來了,雖然。 必須是新鮮的

  • Hey Blake, film me. - Film what?

    嘿,布雷克,拍我。- 拍什麼?

  • I'm gonna

    我要去

  • Ride the stairs and get pitted

    騎樓梯,得到坑害

  • So pitted

    如此坑爹

  • - What'd you do?

    - 你做了什麼?

  • (Adam yelling and groaning)

    (亞當大喊大叫和呻吟)

  • - Tell me you got the footy on that one.

    - 告訴我,你得到了腳上的那一個。

  • - No, not at all, I didn't even have my phone out.

    - 不,一點也不,我連手機都沒拿出來。

  • You got to wait til I have my phone.

    你得等我有了手機才行

  • Got to be fresh

    必須是新鮮的

  • - Welcome to "DeMamp Camp Fully Insured".

    - 歡迎來到 "德曼普營全險"。

  • On this new edition,

    在這個新版。

  • I'll be showing you a brand new exercise

    我將向你展示一個全新的練習方法

  • that I just created using my own brain and intelligence.

    我剛剛用自己的大腦和智慧創造的。

  • It's called the Roof Fly Delt Pump.

    它的名字叫屋頂飛碟泵。

  • Basically, you get a running start,

    基本上,你會得到一個運行的開始。

  • pump your delts so hard that you come to a nice soft landing

    猛抽你的三角肌,讓你來一個漂亮的軟著陸。

  • because you've just flown for a few seconds.

    因為你剛飛了幾秒鐘。

  • Let's do this!

    來吧!

  • (Adam screeching) - Here we go, yeah!

    我們走吧,耶!

  • (Adam groaning) - Oh, Adam!

    哦,亞當!

  • - Blake, we get it?

    - 布雷克,我們明白了嗎?

  • This next exercise, your bis might turn into tris,

    接下來這個練習,你的二可能會變成三。

  • or your tris might turn into God knows what.

    否則你的三叉戟可能會變成天知道的東西。

  • Are you ready?

    你準備好了嗎?

  • (Adam groaning) (everyone groaning)

    (亞當呻吟) (每個人都在呻吟)。

  • (screaming) My shoulders!

    我的肩膀!

  • - We got to get you to a hospital!

    - 我們得送你去醫院!

  • - I'm gonna pop them back into place!

    - 我要把它們放回原處!

  • I'm gonna pop them back!

    我要把它們彈回去!

  • (groaning) I made it so much worse!

    (呻吟)我使它變得如此糟糕!

  • Got to be fresh

    必須是新鮮的

  • - Hey guys, hey guys.

    - 嘿夥計們,嘿夥計們。

  • - Don't have sex with the Dodge Dart.

    - 不要和道奇Dart發生性關係。

  • - I'm gonna dunk off the Volvo!

    - 我要從沃爾沃上扣籃!

  • - [Anders] Hey, dude.

    - [安德斯]嘿,夥計

  • - [Alice] Oh, watch the sunroof.

    - [愛麗絲]哦,小心天窗.

  • (everyone groaning) (Alice giggling)

    (每個人都在呻吟) (愛麗絲傻笑)。

  • - And one.

    - 還有一個。

  • My nuts just ruptured. - What an idiot.

    我的蛋蛋剛剛破裂。- 真是個白痴

  • It's out of the pouch. ♪ Got to be fresh

    從袋子裡拿出來了,一定要新鮮的

  • Silent night

    寂靜的夜晚

  • (Adam crashing)

    (亞當崩潰)

  • - [Adam] Oh!

    - [亞當]哦!

  • - Every year!

    - 每年都有!

  • Got to be fresh

    必須是新鮮的

  • - [Blake] DeMamp (indistinct), what up, bro?

    - [布雷克]德曼普(模糊不清),什麼了,兄弟?

  • Are you ready to rip?

    你準備好開撕了嗎?

  • - I'm ready to rip!

    - 我已經準備好了!

  • Actually, I'm very nervous.

    其實,我很緊張。

  • I don't think I'm wearing enough padding,

    我覺得我穿得不夠好

  • but I will die for you guys.

    但我願意為你們而死。

  • - Freaking rock on.

    - 該死的岩石上。

  • Ders, light it up, lets do this.

    德爾斯,點燃它,讓我們做到這一點。

  • - Ready to go? Little worried.

    - 準備好了?有點擔心。

  • - Ow!

    - 嗷!

  • - Woo. Oh God! - You got this, DeMamp!

    - 嗚。天啊! Oh God!- 你能行的 德曼普 You got this, DeMamp!

  • - Ders, punch it.

    - 德爾斯,打它。

  • We're about to hit the jump.

    我們就要開始跳了。

  • (Adam screaming)

    (亞當尖叫)

  • - Whoa, dude!

    - 哇,老兄!

  • How did you land that, dude?

    你是怎麼登陸的,夥計?

  • Blake, tell me you got the shot.

    布雷克,告訴我你拍到了。

  • - I got it, oh (yelling). Ow!

    - 我得到了它,哦(大喊)。嗷!

  • - I mean, I knew today was gonna end with an ambulance ride,

    - 我是說,我知道今天會以坐救護車結束。

  • I just didn't think Blake would be the one in it.

    我只是沒想到布雷克會是其中的一個。

  • - What's that's supposed to mean?

    - 那是什麼意思?

  • - Means you're always getting hurt.

    - 意味著你總是受傷。

  • - Yeah right, Ders, I get hurt all the time.

    - 是啊,德爾斯,我經常受傷。

  • - Dude, hey! ♪ Got to be fresh

    - 哥們兒,嘿嘿! 必須是新鮮的!

  • - The thing everyone hates about Anders

    - 每個人都討厭安德斯的事情

  • is his disrespect for women.

    是他對女性的不尊重。

  • He treats chicks like second grade citizens

    他把小雞當成二等公民

  • and they're not.

    而他們不是。

  • Natalie Portman went to Harvard and she's smart as shit.

    娜塔莉-波特曼上過哈佛,而且她聰明得不得了。

  • She's super smart.

    她是超級聰明的。

  • - How did you get in here?

    - 你怎麼進來的?

  • - If I were Anders,

    - 如果我是安德斯

  • I'd punch you in the face for asking something like that.

    你這樣問我,我會揍你的臉。

  • But I'm not.

    但我不是。

  • Thank God I'm Adam and I love women, all women.

    感謝上帝,我是亞當,我愛女人,所有的女人。

  • All shapes and sizes, I just love them.

    各種形狀和大小,我就是喜歡它們。

  • Love them.

    愛他們。

  • Blake asked me the other day how to spell "if".

    前幾天Blake問我 "如果 "怎麼拼。

  • Gonna trust that level of smartness

    要相信這種水準的聰明才智。

  • with a multi-thousand dollar corp?

    與幾千美元的公司?

  • - Adam, I think we're done.

    - 亞當,我想我們已經完成了。

  • - Oh, and Alice, it's I-F.

    - 哦,愛麗絲,這是I -F。

  • I, if you didn't know.

    我,如果你不知道。

  • Got to be fresh

    必須是新鮮的

  • - Hey. - What do you want?

    - 嘿 你想要什麼?

  • - I just want to let you know that you're not alone.

    - 我只是想讓你知道,你並不孤單。

  • We're here for you.

    我們為你而來。

  • I'm here for you.

    我是為你而來

  • - Have you made any sales today?

    - 你今天有做什麼銷售嗎?

  • - Ooh, you are angry.

    - 哦,你很生氣。

  • I like that.

    我喜歡這樣

  • If I got divorced I'd probably be pretty angry too.

    如果我離婚了,我可能也會很生氣。

  • First I'd have to get married,

    首先我得結婚。

  • but then I'd get divorced.

    但那樣我就會離婚。

  • You need to get back on the man horse, right.

    你需要回到男人的馬背上,對吧。

  • 'Cause I think I know a certain horse man

    因為我想我認識一個騎馬的人。

  • that might want to take you out for a trot.

    可能想帶你出去小跑。

  • - Are you seriously hitting on me right now?

    - 你現在是認真的在勾引我嗎?

  • (Adam neighing)

    (Adam neighing)

  • - No, I'm not.

    - 不,我沒有。

  • That was my horse impression saying no.

    這是我的馬印象說不。

  • Got to be fresh

    必須是新鮮的

  • - Ow.

    - 嗷。

  • - I know.

    - 我知道,我知道

  • The one day we need to focus and she had to temp.

    有一天,我們需要關注,她不得不臨時。

  • - Don't mind me,

    - 不用管我

  • I'll just be here with my breast and boobs

    我就在這裡陪著我的乳房和胸部吧

  • being a girl as hot as possible.

    作為一個女孩,儘可能的熱。

  • Freaking Austrians, like land down under.

    怪異的奧地利人,就像在下面的土地。

  • - And you know she just dates the hottest dudes of all time.

    - 你知道她只是和最性感的帥哥約會。

  • - If you don't want to date me, that's fine, I get that.

    - 如果你不想和我約會,沒關係,我明白。

  • But you're wrong and I hate you.

    但你錯了,我恨你。

  • - Let her date the underwear models

    - 讓她和內衣模特約會吧

  • and the pro surfers, okay.

    和職業衝浪者,還好。

  • I'm sorry if we're real people.

    如果我們是真人,我很抱歉。

  • - We're real. - So real.

    - 我們是真實的。- 如此真實。

  • - We're the realest people. - I know.

    - 我們是最真實的人。- 我知道,我知道

  • - I'm sick of beautiful people

    - 我厭倦了美麗的人

  • who don't have to work for their beauty

    巧婦難為無米之炊

  • when I'm over here sweating my balls off

    當我在這裡出汗我的球了。

  • for all this beauty.

    對於這一切的美麗。

  • And you can hardly tell some days.

    有些時候,你幾乎無法分辨。

  • Got to be fresh

    必須是新鮮的

  • (Adam grunting) (woman gasping)

    (亞當叫聲) (女人喘氣)

  • - Dang it.

    - 該死的。

  • - I'm so sorry.

    - 我很抱歉

  • - Hey. - Hey.

    - 嘿 嘿

  • - You dropped this.

    - 你掉了這個。

  • Did you...

    你有沒有...

  • (both giggling)

    (兩個傻笑)

  • Oh, wow.

    哦,哇。

  • Really got something there.

    真的有東西在那裡。

  • - You really got something there with that body, girl.

    - 你的身材真的很不錯,女孩。

  • (woman laughing) (Adam laughing)

    (女人笑)(亞當笑)。

  • Got to be fresh

    必須是新鮮的

  • - Your Honor,

    - 閣下

  • I do declare that we have a star witness

    我宣佈,我們有一個明星證人

  • that we would like to call to the stand.

    我們想請他上臺發言。

  • - To the what?

    - 為了什麼?

  • - To the stand.

    - 去看臺。

  • - I don't understand a word you're saying.

    - 我聽不懂你在說什麼。

  • - To the stand, to the stand.

    - 為了立場,為了立場。

  • - And we all were just screaming "Montez, stop,"

    - 我們都在喊 "Montez, 停下來"

  • and he just continued to squeeze the life

    他只是繼續擠壓生活

  • out of the poor little girl scout's dalmatian.

    出可憐的小女孩童子軍的大麥町。

  • It was disgusting.

    真讓人噁心。

  • - What?

    - 什麼?

  • - Could we get back to the case?

    - 我們能回到案子上嗎?

  • - Your Honor,

    - 閣下

  • we are just here to tell the truth, the whole truth,

    我們只是在這裡說實話, 整個真相。

  • and nothing but the truth about a vile and disgusting man

    只不過是一個卑鄙噁心的人的真相而已。

  • who is trying to ruin our party.

    誰是試圖破壞我們的黨。

  • - Could you use your regular voice, please?

    - 你能用你的正常聲音嗎?

  • - This young lady knows where I'm coming from.

    - 這位小姐知道我的來歷。

  • Don't you, doll?

    你不覺得嗎,娃娃?

  • - Huh?

    - 咦?

  • - Do you like pool parties, miss?

    - 你喜歡泳池派對嗎,小姐?

  • - Yeah.

    - 是啊。

  • - And are you available this Saturday,

    - 而你這週六有空嗎。

  • and may I remind you, you are under oath.

    我想提醒你,你是發過誓的。

  • Got to be fresh

    必須是新鮮的

  • - Whoa.

    - 哇。

  • Just the boo I was looking for.

    正好是我要找的噓。

  • - Where you going?

    - 你要去哪裡?

  • - Just a little hug-a-roo for ya.

    - 只是一個小小的擁抱,一個roo為雅。

  • - I'm sorry, do I know you?

    - 對不起,我認識你嗎?

  • - (laughing) No, we know each other.

    - (笑)不,我們認識。

  • Last year, in the stairwell, we,

    去年,在樓梯間,我們。

  • underneath the shirt, over the bra maneuv from the backside.

    襯衣下面,從後面套在胸罩上。

  • I like, I'll say that.

    我喜歡,我會說。

  • - I was drunker than I thought.

    - 我比我想象的還要醉。

  • - Yeah, most def.

    - 是的,大部分都是。

  • So, what has been popping off in your world?

    那麼,在你的世界裡,都有哪些爆款呢?

  • I'm super interested.

    我超級感興趣。

  • - Look, I don't want to be rude, okay,

    - 聽著,我不想無禮,好嗎?

  • but last year was a gigantic mistake.

    但去年是一個巨大的錯誤。

  • - Oh yeah, most def, for sure.

    - 哦,是的,最def,肯定。

  • - You're like a five. - Yeah.

    - 你就像一個五。- 是啊,你是五分。

  • - And I'm looking for more of like a nine or a 10.

    - 我在尋找更多的像9或10。

  • - Oh yeah, nine, 10, for sure, yeah, most def.

    - 哦,是的,9,10,肯定的,是的,大多數的赤字。

  • - Tall, rich, handsome, can quote funny movies.

    - 高、富、帥,會引用搞笑電影。

  • - Funny movies?

    - 有趣的電影?

  • "Yeah, baby, yeah."

    "是啊,寶貝,是啊。"

  • "It's nice."

    "這很好。"

  • Got to be fresh

    必須是新鮮的

  • - Oh, hello.

    - 哦,你好。

  • Look what we have here.

    看看我們這裡有什麼。

  • - Whoa, what the hell.

    - 哇,什麼是地獄。

  • - Mm, jealousy does not look good on you.

    - 嗯,嫉妒對你的影響不大。

  • - Who are you?

    - 你是誰?