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  • ♪ ♪ ♪ YEAH!

    "YEAH!

  • >> James: GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE

    >> 詹姆斯。女士們,先生們,晚上好,歡迎來到這裡。

  • LATE, LATE SHOW.

    遲到了,遲到的節目。

  • ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTED AFTER THAT.

    之後絕對是洩氣的。

  • HOW ARE YOU?

    你怎麼樣?

  • GOOD DAY?

    GOOD DAY?

  • HOW WAS EVERYTHING?

    一切都好嗎?

  • THERE'S LIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.

    拐角處有光。

  • THROUGH THE END OF THE TUNNEL.

    穿過隧道的盡頭。

  • ABOUT WE'RE SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE.

    關於我們很高興你能來這裡。

  • TONIGHT WE'LL BE CHATTING WITH THE VERY FUNNY BEN

    今晚,我們將與非常有趣的本哈拉。

  • SCHWARTZ AND LATER WE'VE GOT A PERFORMANCE FROM THE FOO

    施瓦茨和後來我們得到了一個表演的FOO。

  • FIGHTERS.

    戰士:

  • YOU FIGHT A LOT OF FOO?

    你打了很多福?

  • >> I'M A FIGHTING FOO.

    >> 我是一個打架的FOO。

  • I PITY THE PERSON WHO DOESN'T FIGHT FOR THE FOO.

    我可憐那些不為FOO而戰的人。

  • >> James: THAT'S GREAT.

    >> 詹姆斯。 這是偉大的。

  • PRESIDENT BIDEN JUST ANNOUNCED THAT THERE WILL BE ENOUGH

    比登總統剛剛宣佈,將有足夠的...

  • VACCINE SUPPLY FOR EVERY ADULT IN THE COUNTRY, TWO MONTHS

    全國每個成年人兩個月的疫苗供應量。

  • EARLIER THAN PREVIOUSLY ANNOUNCED.

    比先前宣佈的時間早。

  • TAKE A LOOK...

    看一看...

  • >> ENOUGH VACCINE SUPPLY FOR EVERY DIFFICULT IN AMERICA BY

    >> 為美國每一個困難的人提供足夠的疫苗供應。

  • THE END OF MAY!

    五月底!

  • >> James: COME ON!

    >> 詹姆斯。 來吧!

  • YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

    你知道這是什麼意思嗎?

  • I'M GOING TO HAVE MY HOT GIRL SUMMER AFTER

    我要去有我的辣妹後的夏天。

  • ALL, BABY!

    所有,寶貝!

  • SUMMER IS BACK ON!

    夏天又開始了!

  • ME AND PETE ARE GOING TO BE AT THE BEACH, GRILLING UP

    我和PETE要去海灘,烤肉。

  • HOT DOGS, SHOT-GUNNING BEERS SITTING AROUND THE BONFIRE AND

    熱狗,射擊啤酒,圍著火堆坐著,還有......。

  • SINGING SONGS FROM "LITTLE SHOP OF HRRORS."

    "小店的HRRORS "的歌聲。

  • YES, PETE WILL BE LIKE FEED ME, I'LL CHUCK A CHICKEN WING IN HIS

    是的,佩特會喜歡餵我,我就給他塞個雞翅。

  • MOUTH, FEED ME.

    嘴,餵我。

  • THERE HAS TO BE MORE.

    一定還有更多。

  • WHAT SHOULD WE DO WHEN WE'RE ALL VACCINATED?

    如果我們都打了疫苗,我們該怎麼辦?

  • HERE IS WHAT I'LL SAY.

    這是我要說的。

  • IT IS ONLY A PARTY FOR US.

    這只是我們的一個聚會。

  • THE REST OF THE STAFF IS ON ZOOM, CANNOT COME.

    其餘的員工都在忙,不能來。

  • >> ONLY FAIR.

    >> 只有公平。

  • ONLY FAIR.

    只有公平。

  • >> James: NONE OF THEM CAN COME.

    >> 詹姆斯。 他們都不能來。

  • NONE OF THEM.

    一個都沒有。

  • DON'T YOU THINK?

    你不覺得嗎?

  • >> I WAS LOOKING AROUND, THERE'S GOING TO BE 20 OF US AT THIS

    >> 我環顧四周,將有20個我們在這個。

  • PARTY.

    PARTY:

  • >> James: BUT THIS IS THE BEST 20!

    >> 詹姆斯。 但這是最好的20個!

  • THE BEST 20, THIS IS IT, RIGHT?

    最好的20,這是它,對不對?

  • WE ONLY LOOKING AT THE MARTY'S ABSOLUTELY BUZZING, COVID CREW.

    我們只是在看晚會的絕對喧囂,COVID CREW。

  • A YEAR FROM NOW WE'LL BE TALKING ABOUT THIS BUT WE WERE IN THE

    一年後,我們會談論這個問題,但我們是在。

  • FRONT LINE OF THE TRENCHES.

    前線的TRENCHES。

  • BUT YOU DON'T KNOW MAN, YOU WERE IN NEBRASKA!

    但你不知道男人,你在內布拉斯加!

  • YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE.

    你不知道它是什麼樣子的。

  • A REALLY ITCHY NOSE.

    鼻子真的很癢。

  • I'M TRYING TO ITCH IT, BUT ACTUALLY WHAT YOU REALLY HAVE TO

    我想癢癢,但實際上你必須要做什麼?

  • DO YOU GET A FULL NOSE ATTACK?

    你會受到全鼻攻擊嗎?

  • >> THAT WAS YOUR DISCRETE ITCH?

    >> 那是你的私心之癢?

  • USE YOUR WHOLE ARM.

    使用你的整個手臂。

  • >> James: I WAS TRYING TO DO IT AT MOMENTS I THOUGHT THEY

    >> 詹姆斯。 我試圖在我認為他們的時刻做到這一點。

  • MIGHT HAVE CUTS.

    可能有切口。

  • QUICK KIT YOU'RE BACK.

    快捷包你回來了。

  • SO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

    你知道我的意思嗎?

  • LIKE DON'T YOU THINK IAN?

    你覺得伊安不喜歡嗎?

  • THINKING IN THE EDIT.

    思考在編輯。

  • WHAT I REALLY NEED TO DO IS GO --

    我真正需要做的是去 --

  • >> YEAH.

    >> 是的。

  • AH!

    啊!

  • >> James: BUT I AM EXCITED ABOUT THIS VACCINE.

    >> 詹姆斯。 但我很興奮這個疫苗。

  • THIS REALLY IS GREAT NEWS.

    這真的是大新聞。

  • WE CAN END ALL OF THIS TWO MONTHS EARLIER THAN WE THOUGHT,

    我們可以提前兩個月結束這一切,比我們想象的要早。

  • OR TWO MONTHS EARLIER THAN THAT FRS FLATTEN THE CURVE.

    或提前兩個月,FRS拉平曲線。

  • TWO WEEKS TO FLATTEN THE CURVE!

    兩週時間讓曲線變平坦!

  • BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO WAIT UNTIL MAY, YOU CAN HEAD TO NORTH

    但如果你不想等到5月,你可以去北邊。

  • CAROLINA, WHERE LATER THIS MONTH, THEY WILL

    加利福尼亞州,本月晚些時候,他們將在那裡。

  • WILL BEGIN OFFERING THE VACCINE TO SMOKERS, DEFINED AS ANYONE

    將開始向吸菸者提供疫苗,定義為任何人。

  • WHO HAS, "SMOKED AT LEAST 100 CIGARETTES IN YOUR LIFE."

    "一生中至少抽過100支雪茄的人"

  • HOW ARE THEY GOING TO PROVE THAT YOU'RE A SMOKER?

    他們怎麼證明你是個煙鬼?

  • DO THEY WATCH YOU PUT ON A DENIM JACKET AND SUNGLASSES AND

    他們會不會看你穿上牛仔外套,戴上太陽鏡,然後... ...

  • MAKE YOU SAY "WHATEVER, MAN," THEN THEY'RE LIKE "YUP, HE'S

    讓你說 "隨便吧,夥計",然後他們就會說 "是的,他是"。

  • COOL.

    酷。

  • GIVE HIM THE SHOT."

    給他一槍。"

  • YOU JUST KNOW, SOMEWHERE IN NORTH CAROLINA, THERE'S A GUY

    你要知道,在北卡羅來納州的某個地方,有一個人...

  • WHO'S BEEN SMOKING LIKE 40 CIGARETTES A DAY BUT

    誰一直在吸大約40支雪茄一天,但。

  • LIKE "I TOLD YOU!

    喜歡 "我告訴過你!"。

  • (COUGH COUGH COUGH) YOU WANTED ME TO QUIT...

    你想讓我退出... ...

  • (COUGH COUGH) BUT WHO'S HEALTHY N...

    (咯咯咯)但誰是健康的N...

  • (COUGH) N... (COUGH) NOW!

    (COUGH)N...(COUGH)現在!

  • (COUGH COUGH) BUT HONESTLY, HAVE I SMOKED

    但老實說,我抽過煙嗎?

  • ONE-HUNDRED CIGARETTES IN MY LIFE?

    一百支雪茄在我的生活中?

  • YOU GOT TO ASK THIS GUY.

    你一定要問這個傢伙。

  • HERE IS BIG PANDEMIC NEWS OUT OF TEXAS.

    這裡是大的PANDEMIC新聞出德州。

  • GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT HAS DECLARED AN END TO ALL COVID

    州長GREG ABBOTT宣佈停止所有的歧視行為

  • RESTRICTIONS IN THE STATE.

    本州的限制:

  • BUSINESSES ARE NOW COMPLETELY OPEN, AND EVEN THE MASK MANDATE

    企業現在已經完全開放,甚至連面具的規定也開放了。

  • HAS BEEN LIFTED.

    已經被解除了。

  • TO WHICH MOST TEXANS REPLIED, "WHAT MASK MANDATE?"

    大多數德州人回答說:"什麼面具授權?"

  • TEXAS IS DOING THIS OVER THE OBJECTION OF HEALTH OFFICIALS.

    德州是在衛生官員的反對下這樣做的。

  • I GUESS THIS IS WHY THEY SAY, "DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS."

    我想這就是為什麼他們說 "別惹德州"。

  • BECAUSE THEY ARE (/ BLEEP/ ) CRAZY.

    因為他們都是瘋子。

  • BY THE WAY, MISSISSIPPI ANNOUNCED SIMILAR PLANS A SHORT

    順便說一下,密西西比州宣佈了類似的計劃,一個短的時間。

  • WHILE LATER...

    雖然後來...

  • BUT C'MON.

    但是,來吧。

  • IT'S MISSISSIPPI.

    這是密西西比州。

  • NOBODY CARES.

    沒有人關心。

  • (LAUGHTER) >> James: MY NOSE -- IT'S

    詹姆斯: 我的鼻子 - 這是

  • REALLY ITCHY.

    真的很癢。

  • >> I HAVE A POINT IF YOU WANT TO FIX IT.

    >> 我有一個觀點,如果你想解決它。

  • A CERTAIN UNEDITED POINT.

    某一未經編輯的點。

  • >> James: THIS IS ONE LINE?

    >> 詹姆斯。 這是一條線?

  • >> SORRY, TOOK US THIS LONG TO TELL YOU.

    >> 對不起,我們花了這麼長時間來告訴你。

  • NOW YOU CAN RELAX.

    現在你可以放鬆了。

  • >> James: OH NOW I CAN JUST RELAX AND SEE WHERE THINGS GO.

    >> 詹姆斯。 哦,現在我可以放鬆,看看事情的發展。

  • NOW I DON'T HAVE TO STICK SO RIGIDLY TO THE SCRIPT!

    現在我不用那麼嚴格地按照劇本來了!

  • THIS AFTERNOON, PRESIDENT BIDEN SPOKE FORCEFULLY ABOUT ALL THIS,

    今天晚上,比登主席很強硬地說出了這一切。

  • SLAMMING TEXAS AND MISSISSIPPI FOR, "NEANDERTHAL THINKING."

    抨擊德州和密西西比州的 "NEANDERTHAL思維"。

  • THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE, WE'VE OFFICIALLY HIT "NEANDERTHAL

    這是正確的人,我們已經正式打 "NEANDERTHAL"。

  • LEVELS" ON THE MALARKEY SCALE.

    馬拉基等級表上的 "等級"。

  • WHEN HE HEARD BIDEN'S COMMENT TED CRUZ WAS LIKE ...

    當他聽到比登的評論時,特德-克魯茲就像... ...

  • >> THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

    >> 這不好玩!

  • THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

    這不好玩!

  • >> THANKFULLY.

    >> 謝謝你。

  • >> THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

    >> 這不好玩!

  • >> James: AND DID ANYBODY SEE THIS?

    >> 詹姆斯。 有人看到這個嗎?

  • JAPANESE BILLIONAIRE YUSAKU MAZAZWA IS SEEKING EIGHT

    日本億萬富翁馬澤雄正在尋找8個。

  • VOLUNTEERS FOR THE FIRST SPACEX FLIGHT AROUND THE MOON IN 2023.

    2023年首次繞月飛行的志願者。

  • APPLICATIONS ARE NOW OPEN FOR THE TRIP, WHICH WILL BE

    這次旅行現在已經開始申請,將於2012年9月1日開始。

  • COMPLETELY PAID FOR BY THE BILLIONAIRE.

    完全由億萬富翁支付。

  • SO, THAT GUY IS DEFINITELY HUNTING THESE PEOPLE ON THE

    所以,那個傢伙肯定是在獵殺這些人的。

  • MOON, RIGHT?

    月亮,對吧?

  • (LAUGHTER) >> James: THE MISSION WOULD

    詹姆斯。 任務將

  • FLY AROUND THE MOON BUT NOT LAND ON IT.

    繞著月亮飛,但不落在它。

  • FTC THE MOON IS KIND OF LIKE THE

    FTC月球是有點像的。

  • EIFFEL TOWER-- YOU GET THERE TAKE SOME PHOTOS IN FRONT

    艾菲爾塔--你到了那裡就在前面拍幾張照片。

  • BUT IT'S NOT WORTH ACTUALLY GOING INSIDE.

    但它不值得實際去裡面。

  • THIS BILLIONAIRE WILL PAY PEOPLE TO BE HIS COMPANIONS.

    這個億萬富翁會付錢給別人做他的夥伴。

  • I FOUND THAT A BIT SAD.

    我覺得有點難過。

  • DON'T YOU?

    你不覺得嗎?

  • IAN?

    IAN?

  • REGGIE?

    雷吉?

  • BAND?

    樂隊?

  • CREW?

    CREW?

  • ISN'T IT SAD THAT THIS GUY HAS TO PAY PEOPLE TO BE AROUND HIM

    這傢伙要花錢僱人圍著他轉,這不是很悲哀嗎?

  • LAUGH AT HIS JOKES, PAY ATTENTION TO HIM?

    嘲笑他的笑話,注意他?

  • ONCE A DAY?

    一天一次?

  • VERY SAD.

    非常悲傷。

  • (LAUGHTER) >> James: AND THIS IS SOMEWHAT

    (笑) >> 詹姆斯。而這是一些

  • ALARMING.

    警報:

  • ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY, ROUGHLY ONE THIRD OF AMERICANS

    根據一項新的研究,大約有三分之一的美國人都是這樣。

  • THINK THAT THE POLITICAL DIVIDE IS SO DEEP IN THIS COUNTRY THAT

    認為政治分歧在這個國家是如此之深,以至於

  • THEY WOULD SUPPORT SPLITTING UP THE UNITED STATES INTO

    他們會支持將美國分割成不同的國家。

  • LIKE-MINDED "REGIONS."

    志同道合的 "區域"。

  • AMERICA'S GETTING DIVORCED?

    美國要離婚了?

  • WHICH MEANS IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS, AMERICA IS GOING TO FLY

    這意味著在幾個月內,美國要飛了。

  • TO JAMAICA TO GET HER GROOVE BACK.

    到牙買加去找回她的節奏。

  • I THINK IT WOULD BE A LOT MORE FUN IF THE REGIONS WERE RANDOMLY

    我想,如果各地區都是隨機的,那會更有趣。

  • ASSEMBLED BY PICKING NAMES OUT OF A HAT.

    從帽子裡挑出名字組裝而成。

  • "OKAY, RHODE ISLAND, NEW MEXICO.

    "好的,羅德島,新墨西哥州。

  • AND ALASKA.

    和阿拉斯加。

  • YOU'RE A TEAM, FIGURE IT OUT.

    你們是一個團隊,想辦法解決。

  • FLORIDA IS ALREADY WORKING ON THEIR NATION'S FLAG, WHICH WILL

    佛羅里達州已經在製作國旗,這將是

  • BE A PAIR OF JEAN SHORTS WITH AN ALLIGATOR PAINTED ON IT.

    是一雙牛仔短褲,上面畫著一個結盟者。

  • AND HERE IS A STORY WE WANTS TO TELL YOU ABOUT.

    這就是我們想告訴你的一個故事。

  • EVERYONE HERE FAMILIAR WITH "MICRODOSING?"

    這裡的每個人都熟悉 "微劑量 "嗎?

  • YOU KNOW, TAKING A VERY SMALL AMOUNT OF L.S.D. ON A DAILY

    你知道,每天服用少量的L. S. D.

  • BASIS?

    BASIS?

  • WELL, ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY THE BENEFITS OF MICRODOSING ARE

    好吧,根據一項新的研究,微劑量的好處是。

  • PURELY PLACEBO.

    PURELY PLACEBO。

  • PLACEBO, OF COURSE, IS THE NAME OF THE PURPLE ZEBRA WHO SUDDENLY

    PLACEBO,當然,是紫色斑馬的名字,他忽然就...

  • MORPHS INTO A BATHMAT.

    莫爾普斯進入一個浴盆。

  • THIS IS TRUE!

    這是真的!

  • THERE MAY BE NO BENEFITS TO MICRODOSING.

    微量攝取可能沒有好處。

  • YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT BY TAKING TINY LITTLE BITS OF

    你的意思是告訴我,通過服用一小部分的

  • L.S.D. EVERYDAY ISN'T MEDICALLY SOUND?

    L.S.D. EVERYDAY不是醫學上的健全嗎?

  • WHETHER THEY TOOK ACTUAL L.S.D.

    他們是否採取實際的L.S.D.。

  • OR PLACEBOS, ALL PARTICIPANTS IN THE STUDY SHOWED A SIGNIFICANT

    或PLACEBOS,所有參與者在研究中都表現出明顯的。

  • INCREASE IN... TELLING ANYONE WHO WOULD LISTEN HOW THEY

    增加...告訴任何願意聽的人,他們是如何... ...

  • STARTED MICRODOSING AND "IT LIKE, TOTALLY CHANGED THEIR

    開始用微粉,"它好像完全改變了他們的生活。

  • LIFE."

    生活。"

  • BAND, I FEEL LIKE THIS NEWS HAS HIT YOU HARD...

    樂隊,我覺得這個新聞對你打擊很大... ...

  • WHO'S MICRO-DOSED IN THE BAND?

    誰是樂隊裡的微劑量?

  • >> I HAVE.

    >> 我有。

  • MUSHROOMS NOT LSD.

    蘑菇不是LSD。

  • >> James: MUSHROOMS YOU CAN BARELY FEEL THAT RIGHT?

    >> James: 蘑菇你可以勉強感覺到,對不對?

  • >> CHANGED HIS LIFE.

    >> 改變了他的生活。

  • >> James: BE HONEST, HOW MANY DRUGS ARE IN YOUR SYSTEM RIGHT

    >> 詹姆斯。 老實說,有多少藥物是在你的系統中的權利。

  • NOW?

    現在?

  • >> JUST ONE.

    >> 只有一個。

  • >> James: LOVE?

    >> 詹姆斯。 愛?

  • >> THE GREATEST DRUG OF ALL.

    >> 最偉大的藥物的所有。

  • >> James: AND THERE WAS NO WAY WE WOULDN'T SHOW YOU THIS.

    >> 詹姆斯。 我們不可能不給你看這個。

  • A PHOTO OF A RARE SEA WORM.

    一張罕見的海蟲的照片。

  • WE SHOULD DO, A RARE SEA WORM THAT CAN GROW UP TO EIGHT INCHES

    我們要做的是,一種能長到八英寸的稀有海蟲。

  • LONG, HAS GONE VIRAL ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

    長,已經在社交媒體上廣為流傳。

  • HAVE A LOOK AT IT HIRE.

    有一個看看它的僱用。

  • YOU CAN SEE WHY IT BLEW UP ON SOCIAL MEDIA CAN'T YOU, BECAUSE

    你可以看到為什麼它在社交媒體上大放異彩,不是嗎,因為。

  • IT LOOKS LIKE AN AIR POD.

    它看起來像一個氣墊。

  • THAT HAS TO BE ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING FROM THE GUY WHO

    這必須是絕對可怕的傢伙誰的。

  • DISCOVERED IT.

    發現了它。

  • HE MUST HAVE BEEN LIKE -- PEOPLE IN LINE ARE CALLING IT THE SEA

    他一定是喜歡... ... 人們在行的人都把它稱為海洋。

  • PENIS.

    PENIS:

  • YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT.

    你知道嗎,我不是。

  • I CALL IT THE (BLEEP)

    我叫它"(嗶嗶)

♪ ♪ ♪ YEAH!

"YEAH!

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B1 中級 中文 TheLateLateShow 詹姆斯 德州 疫苗 密西西比州 劑量

疫苗提前來了! (The Vaccines Are Arriving Early!)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 03 月 04 日
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