Name: 疫苗提前來了! (The Vaccines Are Arriving Early!)
Uploaded: 2021-03-04T20:51:27.000Z
Duration: 11 min 7 s

>> James: GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE

>> 詹姆斯。女士們，先生們，晚上好，歡迎來到這裡。

TONIGHT WE'LL BE CHATTING WITH THE VERY FUNNY BEN

今晚，我們將與非常有趣的本哈拉。

SCHWARTZ AND LATER WE'VE GOT A PERFORMANCE FROM THE FOO

施瓦茨和後來我們得到了一個表演的FOO。

I PITY THE PERSON WHO DOESN'T FIGHT FOR THE FOO.

PRESIDENT BIDEN JUST ANNOUNCED THAT THERE WILL BE ENOUGH

比登總統剛剛宣佈，將有足夠的...

VACCINE SUPPLY FOR EVERY ADULT IN THE COUNTRY, TWO MONTHS

全國每個成年人兩個月的疫苗供應量。

>> ENOUGH VACCINE SUPPLY FOR EVERY DIFFICULT IN AMERICA BY

>> 為美國每一個困難的人提供足夠的疫苗供應。

I'M GOING TO HAVE MY HOT GIRL SUMMER AFTER

ME AND PETE ARE GOING TO BE AT THE BEACH, GRILLING UP

HOT DOGS, SHOT-GUNNING BEERS SITTING AROUND THE BONFIRE AND

熱狗，射擊啤酒，圍著火堆坐著，還有......。

SINGING SONGS FROM "LITTLE SHOP OF HRRORS."

YES, PETE WILL BE LIKE FEED ME, I'LL CHUCK A CHICKEN WING IN HIS

是的，佩特會喜歡餵我，我就給他塞個雞翅。

WHAT SHOULD WE DO WHEN WE'RE ALL VACCINATED?

如果我們都打了疫苗，我們該怎麼辦？

THE REST OF THE STAFF IS ON ZOOM, CANNOT COME.

>> I WAS LOOKING AROUND, THERE'S GOING TO BE 20 OF US AT THIS

>> 我環顧四周，將有20個我們在這個。

>> 詹姆斯。  但這是最好的20個！

WE ONLY LOOKING AT THE MARTY'S ABSOLUTELY BUZZING, COVID CREW.

我們只是在看晚會的絕對喧囂，COVID CREW。

A YEAR FROM NOW WE'LL BE TALKING ABOUT THIS BUT WE WERE IN THE

一年後，我們會談論這個問題，但我們是在。

BUT YOU DON'T KNOW MAN, YOU WERE IN NEBRASKA!

但你不知道男人，你在內布拉斯加！

I'M TRYING TO ITCH IT, BUT ACTUALLY WHAT YOU REALLY HAVE TO

我想癢癢，但實際上你必須要做什麼？

>> James:  I WAS TRYING TO DO IT AT MOMENTS I THOUGHT THEY

>> 詹姆斯。  我試圖在我認為他們的時刻做到這一點。

>> James:  BUT I AM EXCITED ABOUT THIS VACCINE.

>> 詹姆斯。  但我很興奮這個疫苗。

WE CAN END ALL OF THIS TWO MONTHS EARLIER THAN WE THOUGHT,

我們可以提前兩個月結束這一切，比我們想象的要早。

OR TWO MONTHS EARLIER THAN THAT FRS FLATTEN THE CURVE.

BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO WAIT UNTIL MAY, YOU CAN HEAD TO NORTH

但如果你不想等到5月，你可以去北邊。

CAROLINA, WHERE LATER THIS MONTH, THEY WILL

加利福尼亞州，本月晚些時候，他們將在那裡。

WILL BEGIN OFFERING THE VACCINE TO SMOKERS, DEFINED AS ANYONE

將開始向吸菸者提供疫苗，定義為任何人。

WHO HAS, "SMOKED AT LEAST 100 CIGARETTES IN YOUR LIFE."

"一生中至少抽過100支雪茄的人"

HOW ARE THEY GOING TO PROVE THAT YOU'RE A SMOKER?

DO THEY WATCH YOU PUT ON A DENIM JACKET AND SUNGLASSES AND

他們會不會看你穿上牛仔外套，戴上太陽鏡，然後... ...

MAKE YOU SAY "WHATEVER, MAN," THEN THEY'RE LIKE "YUP, HE'S

讓你說 "隨便吧，夥計"，然後他們就會說 "是的，他是"。

YOU JUST KNOW, SOMEWHERE IN NORTH CAROLINA, THERE'S A GUY

你要知道，在北卡羅來納州的某個地方，有一個人...

WHO'S BEEN SMOKING LIKE 40 CIGARETTES A DAY BUT

誰一直在吸大約40支雪茄一天，但。

(COUGH COUGH COUGH) YOU WANTED ME TO QUIT...

(COUGH COUGH) BUT HONESTLY, HAVE I SMOKED

這裡是大的PANDEMIC新聞出德州。

GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT HAS DECLARED AN END TO ALL COVID

州長GREG ABBOTT宣佈停止所有的歧視行為

BUSINESSES ARE NOW COMPLETELY OPEN, AND EVEN THE MASK MANDATE

企業現在已經完全開放，甚至連面具的規定也開放了。

TO WHICH MOST TEXANS REPLIED, "WHAT MASK MANDATE?"

大多數德州人回答說："什麼面具授權？"

TEXAS IS DOING THIS OVER THE OBJECTION OF HEALTH OFFICIALS.

德州是在衛生官員的反對下這樣做的。

I GUESS THIS IS WHY THEY SAY, "DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS."

我想這就是為什麼他們說 "別惹德州"。

BY THE WAY, MISSISSIPPI ANNOUNCED SIMILAR PLANS A SHORT

順便說一下，密西西比州宣佈了類似的計劃，一個短的時間。

字幕列表影片播放

疫苗提前來了! (The Vaccines Are Arriving Early!)

absolutely

completely

split

rare