W, ONE AND ALL TO "A LATE SHOW," ESPECIALLY "ALL."

W，一個和所有的 "晚間秀"， 特別是 "所有"。

ONE WOULD BE TOO FEW.

一個就太少了。

I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

我是你的主播，史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

FOLKS, WE HAVE ALL BEEN UP TO OUR EARLOBES IN COVID

夥計們，我們都已經到了我們的耳朵在科維多。

PRECAUTIONS FOR A YEAR.

一年的預防措施。

BUT NOW, THERE'S A NEW CONTAGION SWEEPING THE COUNTRY: AMERICA'S

但現在，有一個新的趨勢席捲全國：美國的 "大國"。

GOT A BAD CASE OF THE HOPES!

有一個壞的病例的希望！

THANKS TO NEW VACCINE AVAILABILITY, WE'RE STARTING TO

由於新的疫苗供應，我們開始了

SEE THE SYRINGE AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.

請看隧道盡頭的彈簧。

THOUGH JOHNSON & JOHNSON HAS A NEW VACCINE, THEY DIDN'T HAVE

雖然JOHNSON & JOHNSON有一種新的疫苗，但他們沒有

THE CAPACITY TO PRODUCE THE VOLUME OF DOSES THAT AMERICA

生產美國所需劑量的能力。

NEEDED.

需要：

SO, THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION CONVINCED RIVAL COMPANY MERCK TO

所以，BIDEN行政當局說服競爭對手MERCK公司，讓他們在中國市場上銷售。

HELP PRODUCE JOHNSON & JOHNSON'S SINGLE-SHOT CORONAVIRUS VACCINE.

幫助生產JOHNSON & JOHNSON'S SINGLE-SHOT CORONAVIRUS VACCINE。

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

你知道這是什麼意思嗎？

THIS COULD BE THE BEGINNING OF A BOLD NEW ERA OF PHARMACEUTICAL

這可能是一個大膽的醫藥新時代的開始。

CROSSOVERS, LIKE DAYQUIL-VIAGRA.

CROSSOVERS，如DAYQUIL-VIAGRA。

YOU KNOW THEIR SLOGAN: YOUR COLD JUST GOT HOT: GET UP AND

你知道他們的SLOGAN：你的感冒只是變得熱：起床和。

GO!

走！

THIS NEW CAPACITY MEANS, WELL, TELL THEM WHAT IT MEANS, JOE.

這個新容量意味著，好吧，告訴他們什麼意思，喬。

>> WE'RE NOW ON TRACK TO HAVE ENOUGH VACCINE SUPPLY FOR EVERY

>> 我們現在正按計劃為每一個人提供足夠的疫苗供應。

ADULT IN AMERICA BY THE END OF MAY.

5月底前，美國的成年人。

>> Stephen: THAT IS SO MUCH SOONER THAN ANYBODY THOUGHT!

>> 斯蒂芬：這比任何人想象的都要快得多。

WHEN'S THE LATEST I COULD RECEIVE MY DOSE?

我最遲什麼時候可以收到我的劑量？

♪ IT'S GONNA BE MAY ♪ >>0SlGENERAL TIMBERLAKE.

它將是5月0Sl將軍TIMBERLAKE。

#FREE BRITNEY.

#自由的BRITNEY，

PRESIDENT BIDEN IS ALSO MAKING A PUSH TO GET ALL TEACHERS

比登主席也在努力讓所有的教師

INOCULATED BY THE END OF MARCH.

3月底前接種。

SO IF I'M AN EDUCATOR, WHEN'S THE LATEST I COULD RECEIVE MY

那麼如果我是一個教育者，我什麼時候可以收到我的。

DOSE?

劑量？

♪ IT'S GONNA BE ♪...

* It's GONNA BE... *

>> MARCH.

>> 三月：

>> Stephen: IN OTHER GOOD NEWS: DOLLY PARTON.

>> 斯蒂芬：在其他好消息：DOLLY PARTON.

YOU MAY REMEMBER THAT SHE IS JUST FANTASTIC.

你可能會記得，她是非常棒的。

YOU ALSO MAY REMEMBER SHE GAVE A MILLION DOLLARS OF HER OWN MONEY

你還記得她捐出了自己的一百萬美元。

TO VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY TO HELP DEVELOP THE MODERNA VACCINE.

向VANDERBILT大學提供幫助，以開發MODERNA VACCINE。

SO IT WAS THRILLING YESTERDAY TO SEE HER ACCOUNT TWEET

所以，昨天看到她的賬戶微博，我很高興。

OUT THIS PHOTO OF HER GETTING THE SHOT WITH THE CAPTION "DOLLY

出這張她拍的照片，標題是 "DOLLY"。

GETS A DOSE OF HER OWN MEDICINE."

"給她一劑自己的藥。"

A LIFE-SAVING MIRACLE.

一個救命的奇蹟。

AND SHE GOT THE VACCINE!

她得到了疫苗！

NOW, FOR EASE OF ON-CAMERA JABBIN', DOLLY WENT THE EXTRA

現在，為了方便鏡頭下的拍攝，多莉做了更多的事情。

MILE AND WORE A STYLISH, EASY-NEEDLE-ACCESS, COLD

哩，並穿上了一件時尚的、易於使用的、冷的

SHOULDER TOP.

肩部上衣。

OKAY, VERY COOL, VERY NICE, DOLLY.

好吧，非常酷，非常漂亮，多莉。

BUT I DON'T RECOMMEND TRYING SOMETHING SIMILAR FOR YOUR

但我不建議你為自己嘗試類似的東西。

COLONOSCOPY.

結腸造影。

AND LIKE I EXPECT TO DO WHEN I GET THE VACCINE, DOLLY BURST

就像我得到疫苗後的預期一樣，多莉爆裂。

INTO SONG.

INTO SONG。

>> I WANTED TO TELL EVERYBODY THAT YOU SHOULD GET OUT THERE

>> 我想告訴大家，你應該離開那裡。

AND DO IT, TOO.

並做到這一點，也。

I EVEN CHANGED ONE OF MY SONGS TO FIT THE OCCASION.

我甚至改變了我的一首歌曲來適應這個場合。

IT GOES...

它去...

( TO THE TUNE OF "JOLENE" ) ♪ VACCINE, VACCINE

（到 "JOLENE "的調子） ? 疫苗，疫苗

VACCINE, VACCINE ♪ I'M BEGGING OF YOU

疫苗，疫苗 我求你了

PLEASE DON'T HESITATE ♪ VACCINE, VACCINE

請不要猶豫 疫苗, 疫苗。

VACCINE, VACCINE ♪ 'CAUSE ONCE YOU'RE DEAD, THEN

疫苗，疫苗 "因為一旦你死了，再

THAT'S A BIT TOO LATE ♪ >> Stephen: OKAY, THAT'S A

這是一個有點太晚了 >> 史蒂芬：好吧，這是一個。

VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE.

非常重要的資訊。

AND ALSO DOLLY'S DARKEST TUNE SINCE:

也是DOLLY的最黑暗的調子，因為：

♪ ISLANDS IN THE STREAM ERODING OVER TIME

* 溪流中的島嶼隨著時間的推移而侵蝕

♪ NOTHING EVER LASTS WE'RE JUST FOOD FOR

沒有什麼是永遠持久的，我們只是為食物

♪ WORMS ♪ NOTE WE'RE JUST BAGS OF MEAT ♪

蟲子 注意我們只是一袋肉

IT KEEPS GOING FROM THERE.

它從那裡繼續前進。

EVEN MORE HOPEFUL-- IT SOUNDS BETTER WHEN KENNY ROGERS IS

更有希望的是... 當KENNY ROGERS來的時候聽起來會更好

SINGING WITH YOU!

和你一起唱歌!

EVEN MORE HOPEFUL, IT'S GETTING EASIER TO QUALIFY FOR A VACCINE.

更令人欣喜的是，現在更容易獲得疫苗的資格。

NORTH CAROLINA JUST ANNOUNCED THAT ON MARCH 24, THE STATE WILL

北卡羅來納州剛剛宣佈，在3月24日，該州將。

OPEN ELIGIBILITY TO PEOPLE LIVING IN GROUP SETTINGS,

向居住在集體環境中的人開放資格。

ADDITIONAL FRO 1%9E WORKERS,AND PEOPLE WHO HAVE

額外的1％9E工人，以及有能力的人。

100 CIGARETTES.

100支雪茄。

OF COURSE, NORTH CAROLINA'S A TOBACCO STATE.

當然，北卡羅來納州的菸草州。

IN WISCONSIN, YOU HAVE TO CHUG 100 GALLONS OF MILK.

在威斯康星州，你必須喝100加侖的牛奶。

AND IN DETROIT, YOU HAVE TO EAT 100 CARS.

而在底特律，你必須吃100輛汽車。

HEY, REMEMBER HOW THERE WAS AN INSURRECTION BACK IN JANUARY?

嘿，還記得1月份的時候怎麼會有一場保險嗎？

CAPITOL POLICE ARE WARNING IT COULD COME BACK, BECAUSE OF A

首都警方警告說，因為一個人的原因，它可能會回來。

QANON THEORY CLAIMING THE EX-PRESIDENT WILL RETURN TO

聲稱前總統將回歸的 "卡農理論

POWER TOMORROW, MARCH 4.

3月4日，"動力"。

NOW, I'M NO PSYCHOLOGIST, BUT YOU COULD SAY THEY'RE SUFFERING

現在，我不是心理學家，但你可以說他們在受苦

FROM "MARCH MADNESS."

從 "瘋狂的遊行"。

ALSO, THEY'RE CLINICALLY INSANE.

還有，他們是臨床上的瘋子。

BUT THERE'S METHOD TO THIS COO-COO.

但是，有一個方法，這個COO -COO。

YOU SEE, Q FOLLOWERS WERE HEARTBROKEN ON INAUGURATION DAY,

你看，Q版粉絲在就職典禮當天心都碎了。

WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE "STORM" CAME THAT KEEPS THEIR

原本應該是 "風暴 "來了，讓他們的生活變得更美好。

GUY FROM ACTUALLY LEAVING OFFICE.

從實際離開辦公室的傢伙。

SO THEY MOVED THE DATE OF THE STORM, WHEN THE ARRESTS ALL OF

所以他們把暴風雨的日期挪到了被捕的時候。

THE CELEBRITIES AND DEMOCRATS, TO MARCH 4, WHICH WAS THE DATE

知名人士和民主黨人，到3月4日，日期是什麼？

O PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATIONS UP UNTIL 1933.

到1933年為止的歷次總統就職典禮。

( AS QANON PERSON ) YET YES, FOLLOW ME DOWN THE

（以卡農的身份）是的，跟著我走下去吧

RABBIT HOLE.

兔子洞。

THEY ENDED IT IN 1933.

他們在1933年結束了它。

BUT ADD UP 1-9-3-3, YOU GET 16.

但加起來1-9-3-3，你得到16。

ADD 1 PLUS 6, YOU GET 7.

加1加6，你得到7。

WHAT IS 7?

什麼是7？

3 PLUS 4, 3-4, MARCH 4th, WHEN WE SHALL MARCH FORTH!

3+4，3-4，3月4日，當我們向前進的時候!

( WHISPERS ) I SEE PATTERNS WHERE NONE

我看到了沒有的花樣。

EXIST."

存在。"

BUT THE ENHANCED SECURITY MAY NOT BE NECESSARY, BECAUSE SOME

但是，加強的安全性可能並不是必須的，因為有些人

QANON ADHERENTS ARE NOW "SKEPTICAL AS TO THE ORIGINS OR

坎農粘合劑現在 "對其來源或用途持懷疑態度"。

VALIDITY OF THE THEORY."

理論的有效性。"

YOU KNOW WHAT?

你知道嗎？

NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, THIS MARCH 4 THING JUST DOESN'T HAVE

現在我想起來了，這個3月4日的事情就沒有了

THE SAME RING OF TRUTH AS "TOM HANKS EATS BABIES."

和 "湯姆-漢克斯吃嬰兒 "一樣的真理。

STILL, WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY TO CASH IN,

不過，只要有意願，就有辦法兌現。

BECAUSE THE FORMER PRESIDENT'S HOTEL IN WASHINGTON, D.C. HAS

因為華盛頓特區的前總統酒店有了

BEEN JACKING UP PRICES AROUND MARCH 4.

3月4日前後一直在加價。

SOUNDS CYNICAL, BUT THEY ARE OFFERING PREMIUM SERVICES: IF

聽起來很簡單，但他們提供的是高級服務。如果

YOU'RE EXHAUSTED FROM TRAVEL, YOU CAN JUST CALL THE FRONT DESK

如果您旅行累了，您可以直接給前臺打電話。

AND ASK THE CONCIERGE TO HANG MIKE PENCE.

並要求法官吊死邁克-彭斯。

ULTIMATELY, Q SUPPORTERS ARE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO FACE FACTS

絕對是，Q的支持者將不得不面對事實。

THAT THEIR GUY LOST IN THE HIGHEST VOTER TURNOUT IN U.S.

他們的傢伙輸在了美國最高的投票率。

HISTORY.

歷史：

REPUBLICANS HAVE ACCEPTED IT.

共和黨人已經接受了它。

THEY LOOKED AT VOTER TURNOUT AND REALIZED IT IS TIME TO STOP

他們審視了投票率，意識到是時候停止了。

VOTER TURNOUT.

選民投票率：

THEY'VE ALREADY STARTED WITH A TIDAL WAVE OF ANTI-VOTING

他們已經開始了反投票的浪潮。

LEGISLATION.

立法：

SO FAR, G.O.P. LAWMAKERS HAVE WRITTEN 253 BILLS WITH

迄今為止，政府官員、法律工作者已經起草了253項法案，其中包括：

PROVISIONS THAT RESTRICT VOTING ACCESS IN 43 STATES, LIKE

限制43個州的投票權的規定，如

GEORGIA, WHERE, FOLLOWING THE G.O.P. LOSING THE PRESIDENTIAL

格魯吉亞，在哪裡，跟著G.O.P.失去了總統職位

ELECT AND TWO SENATE SEATS IN A RUN HUFFAV, STATE REPUBLICANS

選舉和兩個參議院席位的競選胡法夫，州共和黨人

PASSED A BILL THAT WOULD LIMIT ABSENTEE AND EARLY VOTING.

通過了一項限制缺席和提前投票的法案。

YOU SEE, DEMOCRATS LIKE EARLY VOTING.

你看，民主黨人喜歡提前投票。

BUT GEORGIA REPUBLICANS WANT YOU TO PICK YOUR CANDIDATES AT THE

但格魯吉亞共和黨人希望你在會議上選擇你的候選人。

VERY LAST MINUTE.

非常最後一分鐘。

THAT'S WHY THEY KEPT DAVID PERDUE RIGHT BY THE REGISTER.

這就是為什麼他們把戴維-珀杜留在登記處的原因。

CITICS SAY THIS BILL DISPROPORTIONATELY AFFECTS

公民認為，該法案不公平地影響了

VOTERS OF COLOR, BUT THE BILL'S SPONSOR CLAIMS IT "IS DESIGNED

有色人種的選民，但該法案的發起人聲稱它 "是設計的"。

TO BEGIN TO BRING BACK THE CONFIDENCE OF OUR VOTERS BACK

開始恢復選民的信心。

INTO OUR ELECTORAL SYSTEM."

進入我們的選舉制度。"

OKAY, BUT THE REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR, THE REPUBLICAN

好吧，但是共和黨的總督，共和黨的總督

SECRETARY OF STATE, AND THE REPUBLICAN VOTING SYSTEMS

國務院及共和黨的投票制度

MANAGER ALL SAID IT WAS A FAIR ELECTION.

經理都說這是一次公平的選舉。

SO THERE'S PLENTY OF CONFIDENCE IN THE ELECTION.

所以選舉有足夠的信心。

YOU'RE JUST CONFIDENT YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE IT, SO YOU'RE

你只是確信你會輸掉它，所以你要...

TILTING THE PLAYING FIELD.

傾斜運動場。

THAT'S LIKE THE N.F.L.

這就像N. F. L.。

RESTRICTING TOM BRADY TO RESTORE CONFIDENCE IN THE KANSAS CITY

限制湯姆-布拉迪恢復對堪薩斯城的信任。

CHIEFS.

酋長：

AND GEORGIA IS NOT ALONE.

而格魯吉亞並不孤單。

LEGISLATORS IN 18 STATES HAVE INTRODUCED 40 BILLS TO IMPOSE

18個州的立法者已經提出了40項法案，以強制執行。

NEW OR MORE-STRINGENT VOTER I.D.

新的或更嚴格的投票者身份。

REQUIREMENTS FOR IN-PERSON OR MAIL VOTING, AND 14 BILLS IN

親自或郵寄投票的要求，以及14項法案。

NINE STATES WOULD MAKE THE "EXCUSE" REQUIREMENT MORE

九個州將使 "藉口 "的要求變得更加苛刻。

STRINGENT FOR ABSENTEE VOTING OR ELIMINATE "NO EXCUSE" MAIL

嚴格要求缺席者投票或取消 "無理由 "郵件。

VOTING.

投票：

YEAH, IF YOU WANT TO VOTE ABSENTEE, THE G.O.P. DEMANDS

是的，如果你想投缺席票，政府要求...

A GOOD EXCUSE, LIKE A NOTE FROM YOUR DOCTOR.

一個很好的藉口，就像你的醫生給你的一張紙條。

OR YOUR CADDY.

或你的卡迪。

AND THE SUPREME COURT COULD BE ABOUT TO OPEN THE VOTER

而最高法院可能要開庭投票了。

SUPPRESSION FLOODGATES.

壓水閘。

BECAUSE YESTERDAY, THEY HEARD ORAL ARGUMENTS IN A CASE ABOUT

因為昨天，他們在一個案件中聽取了關於以下方面的口頭陳述：

AN ARIZONA LAW THAT MAKES IT A CRIME FOR CAMPAIGN WORKERS,

亞利桑那州的一項法律將競選工作人員的行為定為犯罪。

COMMUNITY ACTIVISTS, AND MOST OTHER PEOPLE TO COLLECT BALLOTS

社區活動家和大多數其他人士收集選票。

FOR DELIVERY TO POLLING PLACES, AND REQUIRES ELECTION OFFICIALS

送至投票站，並需要選舉官員的協助

TO DISCARD BALLOTS CAST AT THE WRONG PRECINCT.

剔除投在錯誤選區的選票。

WHEN JUSTICE AMY CONEY BARRETT ASKED THE G.O.P.'S LAWYER WHY

當AMY CONEY BARRETT大法官問G.O.P.的律師為什麼？

REPUBLICANS CARED ABOUT THAT, HE WAS PRETTY CANDID: "BECAUSE IT

共和黨人關心這個，他是個不錯的候選人："因為它。

PUTS US AT A COMPETITIVE DISADVANTAGE, RELATIVE TO

使我們在競爭中處於不利地位，相對於其他國家而言。

DEMOCRATS," ADDING, "POLITICS IS A ZERO-SUM GAME."

民主黨人，"補充說，"政治是一個零和遊戲。"

YES, IT'S A ZERO-SUM GAME.

是的，這是一個零和遊戲。

THE G.O.P. THINKS DEMOCRATS SHOULD HAVE ZERO VOTES AND THEY

G.O.P.認為民主黨人應該有零票，而他們

HAVE SOME.

有一些。

BUT ZERO SUM OR NOT, THE RIGHT TO VOTE IS NOT A GAME,

但無論是否為零和，投票權都不是遊戲。

OTHERWISE, THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS WOULD HAVE ENDED:

否則，蓋茨堡的地址就會結束。

"OF THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE, FOR THE-- YAHTZEE!"

"人民的，人民的，為了... ...亞吉！"

SO THIS LAWYER ADMITTED REPUBLICANS DON'T REALLY BELIEVE

所以這位律師承認共和黨人並不真正相信。

IN DEMOCRACY.

在民主制度下。

INSTEAD, THEY BELIEVE IN-- I FORGET, WHAT IS IT?

而他們卻相信... 我忘了，那是什麼？

>> UNLIMITED POWER!

>> 無限的力量!

>> Stephen: MITCH McCONNELL'S LOOKING GOOD.

>> MITCH McCONNELL's LOOKING GOOD.

I THINK HE'S HAD SOME WORK DONE.

我想他已經做了一些工作。

A LITTLE FRESHEN-UP.

有點新鮮感。

BUT HERE'S THE THING: THE ARIZONA LAW THESE REPUBLICANS

但問題是：這些共和黨人的亞利桑那州法律。

ARE FIGHTING FOR IN THE SUPREME COURT WAS ALREADY IN EFFECT

在最高法院所爭取的權利已經生效。

DURING THE LAST ELECTION, AND THEY LOST ANYWAY.

在最後一次選舉中，他們還是輸了。

SO IF REPUBLICANS ARE GOING TO GAME THE SYSTEM AGAINST THE WILL

所以，如果共和黨人要在制度上玩弄意志的遊戲。

OF THE PEOPLE, THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GET A LITTLE HARSHER.

他們必須變得更嚴厲一些。

JUST GO BACK TO POLL TESTS WITH UNANSWERABLE QUESTIONS, LIKE

迴歸到帶有無法回答的問題的民意測驗中去吧，如

GUESS HOW MANY JELLYBEANS ARE IN A JAR OR "HOW DO YOU FOLD A

猜猜看一個罐子裡有多少顆果凍豆，或者 "你怎麼折一個果凍豆"。

FITTED SHEET?" OR PUT THE POLLING PLACE IN THE

FITTED SHEET？"或者把投票的位置放在了。

CENTER OF A MAZE AND HAVE IT GUARDED BY A MINOTAUR.

一個迷宮的中心，並有它的守衛一個迷你牛。

OR TED CRUZ.

或TED CRUZ。

EITHER WAY, THERE'S A LOT OF BULLCRAP.

不管是哪種方式，都有很多的廢話。

SPEAKING OF GUYS WHO CAN REALLY SHOVEL IT, REMEMBER WHITE HOUSE

說到真正會鏟屎的人，還記得白宮嗎？

PHYSICIAN, CURRENT TEXAS REPRESENTATIVE, AND GUY WHO'S

醫生，現任德州代表，和傢伙誰的。

PRETTY SURE HE HEARD THOSE TEENS MAKING FUN OF HIS HAT, DR. RONNY

我想他肯定聽到了那些年輕人取笑他的帽子，Ronny博士。RONNY

JACKSON?

傑克遜？

THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE INSPECTOR GENERAL JUST RELEASED

國防部總檢察長剛剛公佈了

A REPORT ON DR. RONNY AND HIS BEHAVIOR DURING HIS TENURE AS

A REPORT ON DR.隆尼博士及其在任期間的行為的報告。

WHITE HOUSE PHYSICIAN, AND THE FINDINGS ARE NOT GOOD.

白宮醫生，和調查結果是不好的。

THE REPORT SAYS THAT JACKSON VIOLATED THE POLICY FOR DRINKING

報告說傑克遜違反了飲酒政策。

ALCOHOL WHILE ON A PRESIDENTIAL TRIP, MADE "SEXUAL AND

酒精在總統旅行期間，做出了 "性和"。

DENIGRATING" COMMENTS ABOUT A FEMALE SUBORDINATE, AND TOOK

詆譭 "關於一名女性下屬的評論，並採取了。

PRESCRIPTION-STRENGTH SLEEPING MEDICATION THAT PROMPTED

催生的處方藥--強效睡眠藥物

CONCERNS ABOUT HIS ABILITY TO PROVIDE PROPER CARE.

擔心他是否有能力提供適當的護理；

IT WAS THE MOST IRRESPONSIBLE STAFFING OF THE WHITE HOUSE

這是白宮最不負責任的工作人員。

PHYSICIAN SINCE BILL CLINTON APPOINTED AEROSMITH.

物理學家，自從比爾-克林頓被任命為空氣動力學專家以來。

THE REPORT FOCUSES ON A PARTICULAR TRIP TO THE

本報告側重於對《公約》的某次訪問。

PHILIPPINES, WHERE A WITNESS SAYS AS SOON AS THEY ARRIVED IN

菲律賓，一名目擊者說，他們一到菲律賓，就會發現這裡有很多人在這裡。

MANILA, JACKSON BEGAN DRINKING IN THE HOTEL LOBBY, THEN GOT

馬尼拉，傑克遜開始在酒店的休息室喝酒，然後就開始了

INTO A CAR WITH A DRINK IN HIS HAND "TO GO OUT ON THE TOWN."

上了車，手裡拿著酒，"去出城"。

ANOTHER WITNESS SAID THEY SAW JACKSON "POUNDING" ON THE DOOR

另一位目擊者說，他們看到傑克遜 "敲 "門。

OF A FEMALE SUBORDINATE'S ROOM.

女傭的房間。

AND WHEN SHE OPENED THE DOOR, JACKSON SAID, "I NEED YOU.

當她打開門的時候，傑克遜說："我需要你。

I NEED YOU TO COME TO MY ROOM."

我需要你來我的房間。"

WOW, THAT IS EITHER EXTREMELY INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR, OR HE

哇，這要麼是非常不恰當的行為，或者他的

COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO WORK THE HOTEL SHOWER.

我不知道如何使用酒店的淋浴設備。

"IT'S GOT A KNOB, BUT ALSO A LEVER, AND A BUTTON.

"它有一個旋鈕，但也有一個槓桿，和一個按鈕，

ONE SIDE SAYS 'HOT' AND THE OTHER SAYS 'PRESSURE?'

一面寫著 "熱"，一面寫著 "壓力"？

I JUST WANT TO WASH MY BODY SO I CAN THROW UP ON IT AGAIN."

我只想洗洗身子，好讓我再吐一次。"

AND IT GETS GROSSER, BECAUSE A WITNESS SAID THAT JACKSON TOLD

更嚴重的是，因為有目擊者說傑克遜說過

THEM THAT A FEMALE MEDICAL SUBORDINATE, WHO WAS ALSO ON THE

他們說，一名女醫護人員，也在這裡。

TRIP, HAD "GREAT (BLEEP)," ADDING, "WHAT A NICE (BLEEP)."

旅行，有 "大（BLEEP），"補充說，"什麼是一個漂亮的（BLEEP）。"

IN HIS DEFENSE, THAT'S JUST THE HIPPOCRATIC OATH HE TOOK.

在他的辯護中，這只是他所做的希波克拉底誓言。

"FIRST, DO NO HARM.

"首先，不要傷害。

SECOND, TEAR ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT.

第二，給我撕下一塊。

THIRD: CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" JACKSON DENIED ALL THE

第三次：CHUG！CHUG！CHUG！"傑克遜否認所有的

ALLEGATIONS IN THE REPORT, SAYING THAT THEY ARE

報告中的指控，說它們是：

"POLITICALLY MOTIVATED" AND THAT THE INSPECTOR GENERAL SIMPLY

"有政治動機"，而監察長簡單地

"RESURRECTED" OLD ALLEGATIONS.

"恢復 "舊的指控。

THAT'S NOT EXACTLY THE AIRTIGHT DEFENSE YOU THINK IT IS.

這不完全是你認為的空投防禦。

( AS DEFENDANT ) "YOUR HONOR, I COULDN'T HAVE

（作為被告）"你的榮譽，我不可能有。

COMMITTED THOSE CRIMES.

犯了這些罪行。

I'VE BEEN SUSPECTED OF THEM FOR YEARS!"

我已經被他們懷疑了好幾年了！"

DR. RONNY WENT ON TO SAY, "I FLAT OUT REJECT ANY ALLEGATION

RONNY博士接著說："我斷然拒絕任何指控。RONNY繼續說，"我斷然拒絕任何指控。

THAT I CONSUMED ALCOHOL WHILE ON DUTY."

我在執行任務的時候喝了酒。"

OKAY, SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU WERE SOBER WHEN YOU SAID THIS ABOUT

好吧，你是說你在說這些話的時候，你更糟糕了？

THE FORMER PRESIDENT: >> SOME PEOPLE HAVE GREAT

前主席：>>有些人有很好的能力，但也有很好的經驗。

GENES.

GENES：

I TOLD THE PRESIDENT IF HE HAD A HEALTHIER DIET OVER THE LAST 20

我問總統過去20年的飲食是否健康？

YEARS, HE MIGHT LIVE TO BE 200 YEARS OLD, I DON'T KNOW.

年，他可能會活到200歲，我不知道。

I MEAN, HE HAS INCREDIBLE-- UH, HE HAS INCREDIBLE GENES, I JUST

我的意思是，他有不可思議的... ... 呃，他有不可思議的基因，我只是。

ASSUME.

假設：

>> Stephen: OKAY, TO BE FAIR, HE DOESN'T SOUND DRUNK THERE.

>> 斯蒂芬：好吧，公平地說，他聽起來並沒有喝醉。

IT SOUNDS LIKE HE'S SMOKIN' CRANK'.

這聽起來像他的煙'RANK'。

"SOME PEOPLE HAVE GREAT GENES.

"有些人有偉大的基因，