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  • you know, she's on top.

    你知道,她是在上面。

  • She's like doing the directions.

    她就像在做指導。

  • I was all in.

    我是全心全意的。

  • I was like, Look, use me as a bop it, pull it, twist it, kick it.

    我當時想,你看,把我當做一個彈弓,拉它,扭它,踢它。

  • Whatever you need to do to my body, I'm down to listen.

    不管你要對我的身體做什麼,我都願意聽。

  • Hi.

    嗨,我的天

  • My name is Trevor Wallis And one time I had sex.

    我叫Trevor Wallis 有一次我做了愛

  • Well, let's talk about it.

    好吧,讓我們來談談吧。

  • This all happened about three years ago living in Santa Monica living it up, dude.

    這一切都發生在三年前,住在聖莫尼卡的生活了,夥計。

  • Living in a three by 3 ft room, paying $3000 for rent.

    住在一個三乘三尺的房間裡,交3000元的房租。

  • So I was crushing it.

    所以,我是碾壓的。

  • But I had one video do, like a million views.

    但我有一個視頻做,像一百萬的瀏覽量。

  • So in my head, I was popping around the same time.

    所以在我的腦海裡,我是在同一時間蹦出來的。

  • This girl who went to college with kind of hit me up out of the blue and was like, Hey, I'm in Los Angeles.

    這個和我一起上大學的女孩突然打了我一下,說:"嘿,我在洛杉磯。

  • Turns out it wasn't Los Angeles.

    原來不是洛杉磯。

  • It was Glendale.

    是格倫代爾。

  • So she hits me up and she goes, Hey, I'm in town and I don't pick up on social cues was like, Cool.

    所以她打了我,她說:"嘿,我在城裡,我不拿起 社交線索就像,酷。

  • Do you need, like, food recommendations or something?

    你需要,比如,食物推薦什麼的嗎?

  • She's like, we should get a drink tonight.

    她說,我們今晚應該去喝一杯。

  • And the second she said tequila, I was like, Oh, this is gonna be a freaking kind of nobody's ever had it tequila and just been satisfied with the hand job.

    當她說龍舌蘭酒的時候,我就想,哦,這將是一種畸形的,沒有人喝過龍舌蘭酒,只是滿足於手藝。

  • So we're at this place we get Margarita were just chowing down chips and guac throwing back shots.

    所以,我們在這個地方,我們得到瑪格麗特... ...我們只是大口大口地吃薯片和鱷梨... ...扔回鏡頭。

  • Boom, boom, boom.

    嘣,嘣,嘣。

  • I think just in general I was stoked that she reached out to me.

    我想只是在一般情況下,我很興奮,她向我伸出手。

  • This was the first time you met up outside of college and quite frankly, the first time we really talk, man.

    這是你在大學之外的第一次見面,說實話,也是我們第一次真正意義上的交談,夥計。

  • At one point, I just remember that she was in the bathroom for like, 10 minutes, and when she left, I was like, I really like this girl.

    有一次,我只記得她在衛生間裡呆了10分鐘,當她離開時,我就想,我真的很喜歡這個女孩。

  • She's pretty cute, like we got good chemistry.

    她很可愛,就像我們有很好的化學反應。

  • Let's go back to my place.

    我們回我家去吧

  • So we go back to my house and it's one of those, like, immediately the door opens.

    所以,我們回到我家,它是其中之一, 喜歡,立即開門。

  • You're just making out in the hallway, which is funny because my apartment isn't that big.

    你只是在走廊上親熱,這很有趣,因為我的公寓沒有那麼大。

  • We could have just taken two more steps and then been in my bedroom, but we were feeling it for whatever reason.

    我們本可以多走兩步,然後就在我的臥室裡,但不管什麼原因,我們都有感覺。

  • We didn't even make it past the closet, you know, that's how you know you're freaking when the coat closet is getting all the action.

    我們甚至沒有讓它過去的衣櫃, 你知道,這就是你怎麼知道你是嚇壞 當大衣櫃是得到所有的行動。

  • It's like, How do you get off me with Get in the room.

    就像,你怎麼能用 "進房間 "來擺脫我。

  • You have a bad for reasons.

    你有一個壞的原因。

  • So we go into the bedroom and we started hooking up and I'll be honest, man.

    所以,我們走進臥室,我們開始勾搭,我會說實話,男人。

  • She was a cute girl, very attractive.

    她是個可愛的女孩,很有吸引力。

  • But she has a body that I didn't even expect.

    但她的身材是我都沒有想到的。

  • She had a reverse catfish body.

    她有一副逆天的鯰魚體。

  • Now I don't know what to call this.

    現在我不知道該怎麼稱呼這個。

  • She just had, like, I'm more like casual clothes.

    她只是有,喜歡,我更喜歡休閒裝。

  • So I don't really know what the curve situation was looking like.

    所以我真的不知道曲線情況是什麼樣的。

  • But let's just say I got to unwrap these Christmas gifts twice, okay?

    但我只能說我得拆兩次這些聖誕禮物,好嗎?

  • Because I opened up the first layer.

    因為我打開了第一層。

  • See her?

    看到她了嗎?

  • She's cute, and then she takes her clothes off and she's got a body like a body body.

    她很可愛,然後她把衣服脫掉,她的身體就像一個身體的身體。

  • All right.

    好吧,我知道了

  • Thinking about a good body, nothing about a better body.

    想的是好身體,無非是更好的身體。

  • That was her.

    那是她。

  • I mean, you could fit more than an hour on that hourglass, which was great for me because I feel like I look like a malnourished scarecrow.

    我是說,你可以在那個沙漏上裝一個多小時,這對我來說很好,因為我覺得我看起來像個營養不良的稻草人。

  • So I was excited, man.

    所以我很興奮,夥計。

  • She was hot, having fun.

    她很熱,很開心。

  • She's getting into it, you know?

    她正在進入它,你知道嗎?

  • She's on top.

    她在上面

  • She's like doing the direction I was all in.

    她就像在做我所有的方向。

  • I was like, Look, use me as a bop it, pull it, twist it, kick it.

    我當時想,你看,把我當做一個彈弓,拉它,扭它,踢它。

  • Whatever you need to do to my body, I'm down.

    不管你要對我的身體做什麼,我都願意。

  • I want a woman who knows what she wants, and I'm down to listen.

    我想要一個知道自己想要什麼的女人,而且我願意傾聽。

  • Long story short, we hooked up right.

    長話短說,我們就這樣勾搭上了。

  • It was really good.

    這真的很好。

  • I really enjoyed it.

    我真的很喜歡它。

  • Now I know at this point you're like, When's the SEC's gonna fail?

    現在我知道在這一點上,你會想,證監會什麼時候會失敗?

  • Well, guess what, nerd?

    你猜怎麼著,書呆子?

  • It wasn't a sex fail.

    這不是一個性失敗。

  • The sex was great.

    性愛是偉大的。

  • It's more of just a sexual triumph.

    更多的只是一種性的勝利。

  • And we use this title is click bait Boom at air horns.

    而我們使用這個標題是點擊誘餌轟在空氣角。

  • You ever heard a click bait?

    你聽說過點擊誘餌嗎?

  • Welcome to 2021 Nerd.

    歡迎來到2021年的書呆子。

  • Your problems didn't go away.

    你的問題並沒有消失。

  • Insert eagle graphic.

    插入老鷹圖形。

  • So boom, fast forward.

    所以轟,快進。

  • It's morning and she's leaving, which look a lot of guys, but oh, man, we were gonna go get eggs.

    現在是早上,她要走了,看起來有很多人,但是哦,夥計,我們要去買雞蛋。

  • Benedict know me excited because I get to lay there and all of my little sex juice bed and then later on, my roommate walks in just to fuck with me, as roommates do.

    本尼迪克特知道我很興奮,因為我可以躺在那裡,我所有的小性汁床,然後後來,我的室友走了進來,只是為了和我做愛,就像室友一樣。

  • Roommates are never productive when you're hungover and he's looking at this thing next to me.

    室友在你宿醉的時候,永遠不會有收穫,而他卻在看我旁邊的這個東西。

  • He goes, What is that?

    他說,那是什麼?

  • Uh what is what?

    呃,什麼是什麼?

  • And then he grabs his foreign object and he holds it up like you just got a treasure map at the end of the movie.

    然後他抓起他的異物,舉起它,就像你在電影結尾拿到一張藏寶圖一樣。

  • It looks at and he just goes, What is this?

    它看著,他就說,這是什麼?

  • It looks like a hairball from a cat.

    它看起來像一隻貓的毛球。

  • And then he had this moment and I've never seen his face just go so red he goes, Oh, fuck.

    然後,他有這個時刻,我從來沒有見過他的臉 只是去這麼紅,他去,哦,他媽的。

  • This is a used tampon and he takes it, throws it in the air like it's just supposed to disappear into the iCloud.

    這是一個用過的衛生棉條,他拿著它,把它扔在空中,好像它就應該消失在iCloud裡。

  • Nope, that puppy's coming right back down.

    不,那隻小狗馬上回來了。

  • You know where it came down on my chest.

    你知道我胸口的位置嗎?

  • I'm laying there.

    我躺在那裡。

  • It starts rolling off.

    它開始滾落。

  • I'm doing a little shimmy shake to get it off.

    我在做一個小的搖搖晃晃把它弄掉。

  • Get it off, Get it off of me!

    把它拿開,把它拿開!

  • Looking like Shakira at the halftime show, it kind of just rolls over and I scoot over.

    看著像夏奇拉在中場秀,它有點像剛翻身,我就挪過來了。

  • So we both start freaking out a little bit and it wakes up.

    所以我們都開始有點抓狂,它就醒了。

  • Roommate number three off the couch and he comes on in, and now he's yelling.

    室友三號從沙發上下來,他進來了,現在他在大叫。

  • We're all making a big commotion.

    我們都在大動干戈。

  • And in doing so, one of my roommates just stops and he goes, Look behind me on the wall and of course, don't have a headboard.

    而在這樣做的時候,我的一個室友就停下來,他說,你看我身後的牆上,當然,沒有床頭板。

  • I just want to head, not a headboard.

    我只要頭,不要頭板。

  • A.

    A.

  • Leave it in there.

    把它留在那裡。

  • Sure enough, you notice is the most perfect, beautiful blood outline of a used tampon.

    果然,你注意到是用過的衛生棉條最完美、最漂亮的血色輪廓。

  • It looked like LeBron had a handful of blood through it in the air before a playoff game.

    在季後賽前,勒布朗好像在空中打了一把血透。

  • So my brain immediately goes into connect the dots activity.

    所以我的大腦立刻進入了連線活動。

  • And that's when it all clicked.

    就在這時,所有的一切都被點擊了。

  • I looked at my roommates and I said, This is what went down.

    我看著我的室友,我說,這就是事情的經過。

  • The only opportunity I think she would have had to sneak.

    我想這是她唯一能偷偷摸摸的機會。

  • We do.

    是的

  • This is when I was at the end of the bed.

    這時我在床尾。

  • I'm taking off my skinny jeans being hot, you know?

    我脫掉我的緊身牛仔褲是熱的,你知道嗎?

  • And she's thinking, Wow, that's that hot guy from the Internet.

    她在想,哇,這就是網絡上的那個帥哥。

  • She was so turned on by my one viral video that she said, You know what?

    她被我的一個病毒視頻吸引了,她說,你知道嗎?

  • I want to make a bloody margarita tonight.

    我想今晚做一杯血腥的瑪格麗特。

  • It's either now or never.

    要麼現在,要麼永遠。

  • And she reaches down and she fucking hut hut hike, lobs it back hot route, hits the wall and forgets about it and has a splendid night Boom.

    她伸手下去,她他媽的小屋小屋加息,把它扔回熱路線,撞到牆上,忘了它,有一個輝煌的夜晚轟。

  • Call me Columbo because this mystery's been solved.

    叫我Columbo,因為這個謎團已經解開了。

  • Is this wild?

    這是野生的嗎?

  • Yes.

    是的,我知道

  • Do I respect the fuck out of her moves?

    我尊重她的動作嗎?

  • Double.

    雙倍。

  • Yes, That is a power move beyond place the bodies like, uh, this week isn't good for us.

    是的,這是一個權力的舉動,超越了地方的機構一樣,呃,這個星期是不是對我們有好處。

  • We're kind of booked.

    我們已經訂好了

  • And she's like, Oh, you're about to get fucking book by something else.

    她就說,哦,你要被別的什麼東西弄到他媽的書裡去了。

  • What?

    什麼?

  • Pam and might I add?

    帕姆,我可以補充一下嗎?

  • My roommates were freaked out, but deep down, I thought it was low key.

    我的室友們都嚇壞了,但內心深處,我覺得這很低調。

  • Kind of hot that she did that.

    她這樣做,有點熱。

  • She was like, This guy is so cool.

    她說,這傢伙太酷了。

  • I'm just gonna go for it.

    我只是要去了。

  • And in case you're wondering, we haven't talked since.

    如果你想知道,我們還沒有談過,因為。

  • So if you're watching this, it doesn't need to be awkward.

    所以,如果你在看這個,就不用尷尬了。

  • I'm pretty proud.

    我很自豪。

  • Hey, thanks for watching that video.

    嘿,謝謝你看這個視頻。

  • I'm Trevor Wallis.

    我是Trevor Wallis

  • And if you like that video with me, go to the page.

    如果你喜歡我的那段視頻,請到頁面。

  • They got a fuck ton of other videos of me and it.

    他們有一大堆我和它的其他視頻。

  • So if you want to see me looking pretty, go to Comedy Central.

    所以如果你想看我漂亮的樣子,就去喜劇中心吧。

  • You won't regret it.

    你不會後悔的。

  • Uh huh.

    嗯哼。

  • Mhm.

  • Yeah, yeah.

    是啊,是啊。

you know, she's on top.

你知道,她是在上面。

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B1 中級 中文 室友 身體 視頻 誘餌 龍舌蘭酒 瑪格麗特

特雷沃-華萊士與 "反向鯰魚 "勾搭在一起--性愛失敗 (Trevor Wallace Hooked Up with a "Reverse Catfish" - Sex Fails)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 03 月 03 日
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