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  • Transcriber: TED Translators Admin Reviewer: Joanna Pietrulewicz

    轉錄者TED Translators Admin 審稿人: Joanna PietrulewiczJoanna Pietrulewicz

  • My parents were refugees of communism.

    我的父母是共產主義的難民。

  • Growing up, I watched my mom and dad

    從小到大,我看著爸爸媽媽

  • work two full-time jobs without ever complaining,

    做著兩份全職工作,卻從不抱怨。

  • so my siblings and I could live a better life than they did.

    這樣我和我的兄弟姐妹就能過上比他們更好的生活。

  • I was proud to be their daughter.

    我為自己是他們的女兒而驕傲。

  • And I understood the immigrant part of my identity well.

    而我也很明白自己身份中的移民部分。

  • The female part of my identity, however, was much harder for me to own.

    然而,我身份中的女性部分,對我來說卻更難擁有。

  • I never wanted to draw attention to my gender,

    我從來沒有想過要引起人們對我性別的注意。

  • because I was afraid I wouldn't be taken seriously as a CEO.

    因為我怕我這個CEO不被重視。

  • So I focused my energy on the things that I thought were important,

    所以我把精力集中在我認為重要的事情上。

  • stuff like making my team laugh.

    像讓我的團隊笑的東西。

  • I remember I would painstakingly write and rehearse jokes

    我還記得我很認真地寫笑話,排練笑話。

  • before every all-hands.

    在每次全員出動之前。

  • Or I'd be the first one in the office and the last one out,

    或者我是第一個進辦公室最後一個出來的人。

  • because I thought that these things mattered.

    因為我認為這些事情很重要。

  • When I was six months pregnant,

    在我懷孕六個月的時候

  • one of our large competitors reached out, wanting to talk about acquiring us.

    我們的一個大競爭對手主動聯繫,想談收購我們的事情。

  • Every startup wants the option to be bought,

    每個創業者都希望選擇被收購。

  • but it really got under my skin

    但它真的讓我感到不安

  • when during conversations with these strangers

    當與這些陌生人交談時

  • who I was negotiating with,

    我在和誰談判。

  • their eyes would sometimes wander to my pregnant belly.

    他們的目光有時會遊移到我懷孕的肚子上。

  • I went into labor the same night of our user conference.

    我們用戶大會的當天晚上,我就生產了。

  • The weeks leading up to the event,

    活動前的幾個星期。

  • watching our team prepare for our big product unveiling,

    看著我們的團隊為我們的產品大揭幕做準備。

  • I wondered how many male CEOs would skip their own conference

    我在想,有多少男性CEO會不參加自己的會議?

  • for the birth of their child.

    為他們的孩子的出生。

  • I assumed most would.

    我以為大多數人會。

  • But I kept reasoning with myself that if I wasn't pregnant,

    但我一直給自己講道理,如果我沒有懷孕。

  • there'd be no question whether I'd be there or not.

    不管我是否會去那裡,都是毫無疑問的。

  • So I have to be there,

    所以我必須去那裡。

  • forcing myself to parade my nine-month pregnancy,

    強迫自己遊行我九個月的懷孕。

  • work the halls as hosts on my feet for 14 hours was a bad idea in hindsight.

    工作大廳作為主機上我的腳14小時是一個壞主意,事後看來。

  • The moment I arrived home, my water broke and my contractions started

    到家的那一刻,我的羊水破了,宮縮開始了

  • and I wouldn't hear my son's first cry for another 32 hours.

    我也不會聽到我兒子的第一聲啼哭,再過32小時。

  • When my baby was six weeks old, I went back to work.

    當我的寶寶六週大的時候,我又去工作了。

  • Our M and A had fallen through by then,

    我們的M和A當時已經失敗了。

  • and I was determined to fundraise a war chest to fight them back.

    而我也下定決心要籌措戰備資金,反擊他們。

  • But I was still bleeding from several tears in my vagina

    但我的陰道里還是流了好幾滴眼淚。

  • from pushing out a baby.

    從推出嬰兒。

  • To this day, I still ask myself

    直到今天,我還在問自己

  • why I rushed back to work when I wasn't ready.

    為什麼我在還沒準備好的時候就急著回去工作。

  • And I realize now it was because I was afraid.

    我現在才知道那是因為我害怕。

  • I was so afraid of what people might think of me

    我很害怕別人對我的看法。

  • as a new mother and CEO.

    作為一個新媽媽和CEO。

  • I was afraid that they would think that my priorities had changed.

    我怕他們會認為我的優先級發生了變化。

  • So I pressured myself into proving to everyone

    所以我迫於壓力向大家證明了自己

  • that I was as dedicated to the company as ever.

    說我對公司一如既往的敬業。

  • I would spend the next two months fundraising to secure our war chest.

    我將在接下來的兩個月裡,為確保我們的戰果籌集資金。

  • I had a full schedule and I needed to pump milk,

    我的日程安排得很滿,我需要泵奶。

  • but I didn't have the courage to ask for 50 million dollars

    但我沒有勇氣向你要五千萬的錢

  • and ask to use their mother's room.

    並要求使用其母親的房間。

  • So how does one pump milk on Sand Hill Road?

    那麼,沙山路怎麼打奶呢?

  • Well, I would park my car

    好吧,我會把車停好

  • in front of someone's super nice home in Palo Alto.

    在帕洛阿爾託某人的超級漂亮的家門口。

  • I'd undress and extract milk from my breasts

    我會脫掉衣服,從我的乳房裡榨出奶水。

  • with a silicone hand pump.

    用硅膠手泵。

  • It worked out, I guess.

    我想,它的工作了。

  • We secured a lead investor for our series C

    我們為我們的C系列找到了一個主要投資者

  • and then our competitors came back with a revised offer,

    然後我們的競爭者又提出了修改後的報價。

  • and we decided to sell to them for 875 million dollars.

    我們決定以8.75億美元賣給他們。

  • A few months after the acquisition I became pregnant for the second time.

    購置後幾個月,我第二次懷孕了。

  • And shortly after, I found out I had a miscarriage.

    而不久後,我發現自己流產了。

  • While with my team ...

    雖然與我的團隊...

  • I felt it slip out of me.

    我感覺到它從我身邊溜走了。

  • I went to the bathroom ...

    我去了洗手間...

  • and it fell to the floor.

    掉在了地上。

  • I didn't know what to do,

    我不知道該怎麼辦。

  • so I just walked back out to the team, pretending as if nothing happened.

    所以我就走回了隊伍,裝作若無其事的樣子。

  • It took going through infertility, miscarriage,

    經歷了不孕、流產。

  • pregnancy, giving birth without any drugs, while running a company

    懷孕、生孩子、不吃藥,同時經營一家公司。

  • for me to realize how wrong I was to hide my womanhood

    讓我意識到我隱藏自己的女人身份是多麼的錯誤。

  • as if it's something I'm ashamed of.

    彷彿這是我感到羞恥的事情。

  • For so long, I thought I had to be what I thought a good male CEO looked like

    長久以來,我一直認為我必須成為我認為的優秀男性CEO的樣子

  • so that I wouldn't be judged or treated differently.

    這樣我就不會被評判或區別對待。

  • I was so constricted by my belief that businesses value maleness more.

    我被我的信念限制住了,企業更重視男性。

  • And it made me afraid to be a woman,

    而這也讓我害怕成為一個女人。

  • which meant I hid a massive part of who I was from everyone.

    這意味著我向所有人隱藏了我的大部分身份。

  • When I dared to be fully myself,

    當我敢於完全做自己的時候。

  • when I dared to trust and share my frustrations

    當我敢於信任和分享我的挫折時

  • and my anger and my sadness and my tears with my team,

    和我的憤怒、我的悲傷和我的團隊一起流淚。

  • I became a much happier and more effective leader

    我成了一個更快樂、更有效的上司。

  • because I was finally honest in who I was.

    因為我終於對自己的身份誠實了。

  • And my team responded to that.

    而我的團隊也對此做出了迴應。

  • One of the most important side effects of leading as my complete raw self

    作為我完整的原始自我上司的最重要的副作用之一。

  • was seeing our culture evolve

    是看到我們的文化發展

  • to a more close-knit and effective version of itself.

    到一個更緊密、更有效的版本。

  • I remember we had several back to back rough quarters.

    我記得我們有好幾個背靠背的困難季度。

  • It felt like everything was in shambles

    感覺一切都亂了套

  • and I didn't have time to prepare for an all-hands.

    而我卻沒有時間去準備全員出動。

  • And then it was time for me to speak.

    然後是我發言的時間。

  • So I walked up to the mic cold and I started talking openly

    所以我走到麥克風前,冷不丁就開始開口說話了

  • about my concerns, my concerns on competition,

    關於我的擔憂,我對競爭的擔憂。

  • the mistakes we had made in sales strategy,

    我們在銷售策略上所犯的錯誤。

  • really exposing the weaknesses of our company.

    真正暴露了我們公司的弱點。

  • And I asked the team for help.

    而我向團隊求助。

  • That completely changed the conversation

    這完全改變了對話

  • and how we would build and solve problems together.

    以及我們將如何共同建設和解決問題。

  • As we collectively brought our full selves to work,

    當我們集體把全部的自我帶到工作中時。

  • we were able to accomplish so much more in terms of revenue growth

    在收入增長方面,我們能夠完成更多的工作。

  • and the most products shipped the company had seen.

    也是公司見過的出貨產品最多的。

  • And it progressed us from a startup to medium-sized business.

    並使我們從一個初創企業進步到中型企業。

  • Whoever you are, if you're thinking about starting a startup,

    不管你是誰,如果你想創業。

  • or you're thinking about leading,

    或者你在考慮上司。

  • do it

    做到

  • and don't be afraid to trust and be yourself completely.

    而不要害怕相信,完全做自己。

  • I wish I knew that a decade ago.

    我希望我十年前就知道這些。

  • And learn from my mistakes.

    並從我的錯誤中學習。

  • If you find yourself fundraising on Sand Hill, needing to pump milk,

    如果你發現自己在沙山籌款,需要抽奶。

  • go use their nice-ass mother's rooms.

    去用他們漂亮的屁股的母親的房間。

  • Thank you.

    謝謝你了

Transcriber: TED Translators Admin Reviewer: Joanna Pietrulewicz

轉錄者TED Translators Admin 審稿人: Joanna PietrulewiczJoanna Pietrulewicz

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