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You guys, right now it's time for "Tonight Show Hashtag".
Let's check it out.
(Hashtags, hashtags)
You guys are on Twitter, right?
It's fun, we use Twitter on our show every single week, so if you watch our show and you want to play along,
we do this thing every Wednesday where I send out a hashtag.
And we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic.
So, because the season finale of The Bachelor is coming up,
I want to Twitter and start to hashtag,
hashtag "awkward break up".
I asked you guys to tweet out a funny or awkward breakup story that happened to you or someone you know.
We got thousands of Tweets.
I mean a lot of people have great stories.
In fact, within an half-hour, it was a worldwide trending topic.
So, thank you for those Tweets.
I appreciate it.
They're all awkward.
Breaking up is the worst, it's just nothing good about it.
But then, when it's awkward that's the funny part of it.
That's what makes me laugh.
So now, I thought I would share some of my favorite awkward breakup Tweets from you guys.
Here we go.
This first ones from MikeFeeneyPXP
He says,"
She emailed it was over.
Waited.
Got impatient.
Called me and said,
'You should check your email!,'
then hung up."
God!
That's cold.
Yeah, cold-blooded.
Cold-blooded, man.
Cold-blooded.
This ones from Ang4ND1
she says,"
I broke up with my boyfriend,
but he was so drunk that he forgot
and showed up to hang out the next day,
so I had to break up with him again."
It's like, he made me do it twice!
It over, again.
Yeah, you're good at it now.
This one is awesome.
This one's from ryanmarbles
he says,"
My girlfriend dumped me while I was paying for a pizza,
and the delivery guy felt so bad that he gave me a hug."
Hugs on the house, buddy.
Get over here, come on bring it.
Is that a bread stick in your pocket, or you're happy to see me?
No way!
This one's from jameskorkie
he says,"
I once had a girl break up with me in the jeans aisle of Marshalls."
Oh, that's good.
That was awkward.
Bastard, why can't you think you can wait.
No.
I can't do it, I can't wait any longer.
Jeans aisle of Marshalls
This one's weird.
This one's from hannah_eve
She says,"
After the breakup,
he said he was finished dating,
and wanted to live his life alone like his great aunt did."
What?
Weird people, man!
My great aunt Edna,
she lived alone for thirty years of Manse on the hill.
She had the best life ever.
Yeah.
She would go up and down the stairs, like.......
She had three thousand cats.
Facs of National Geography says "Aye" at your head.
We found her corpse.
She was clutching the remote control.
We haven't heard from her for two years.
By the time you showed up, there's a house full of thousands of fat cats.
I won't describe the rest.
One of them, merda, opened the fridge.
Unbelieving everything that cats can do that.
Made of casserole, the mustard was spectacular.
[Indistinct]
There I was sitting with a bunch of cats.
Someone should make a painting of that.
Then they played poker.
Then we played poker with dogs.
Anyway, I want to live like her.
I've worn their skins for years.
Oh, alright.
This one's from YoussefOujdad
he says,"
I broke up with my high school girlfriend
using an Excel chart to illustrate the downward trend of our relationship.
You notice here, there's a sharp decline of snuggles.
In the month of June, we didn't snuggle at all.
Your comments grow how I love them.
This one's from AmyKimiko
she says,"
A guy broke up with me and his final words were,
'This relationship is terminated.'"
He won't be back.
This one's from JordanPhillie
he says,"
I had a terrible cold when my girlfriend broke up with me.
When she said,
'I want to see other people,'
I accidentally sneezed in her face."
There you have it.
This is the "Tonight Show Hashtag".
Check out more of our favorite quotes on TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS
Or some of you might be downloading our new Tonight Show App available on iTunes,
and for Android.
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【吉米秀】超強分手八招 (Jimmy Fallon: Tonight Show Hashtags: #AwkwardBreakup)

745042 分類 收藏
Colin Lin 發佈於 2014 年 7 月 23 日   Colin Lin 翻譯   許瓊文 審核

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