I get a lot of questions across my email accounts

from parents that are asking how can I parent my children in alignment with that spirituality

and in alignment with source energy

because of this I want to tell you all parents out there

let yourselves off the hook

because it is not possible for you to parent perfectly

and if somebody tells you that parenting is easy

they're lying to themselves

it was not intended to be this

easy process

it was intended to be fun

and

you will all get the children

that you need

we make a mistake as parents

many of them

we see them as innocent and unseasoned

we do not see them as the eternal creators that they are

just because you came into this life before they did

does not mean that they are any different than you are

you come here to help this third dimensional reality

add to your own expansion which is the same thing that they're doing

we identify

ourselves as their venue of abundance

as their venue through which everything flows to them

and we make them believe

if not, believing it ourselves

that their actions

and their behavior is responsible for our happiness

we also see them as ours instead of children of the universe

these four things which i just mentioned are the biggest mistakes we make as parents

We replace the role of the universe

the role which the universe was meant to fill

with ourselves

and

we treat ourselves in children's lives as if we are gods

we're not meant to be the gods of their lives

we are meant to be

their guides

Your children are powerful creators just like you who have come to and out of life over and over again

they came here to learn from life

the learning

from the parenthood in child role

is just meant to be

one component of

the whole shebang

it's not really your job to teach them, or to clothe them, or to house them, or to feed them

doing that kind of thing for your children

makes you feel good which is your indication that that is in alignment

but that is not your job in being here as their parents

your job is a two part process

part one is

to foster their independence at a very early age

part too is: to demonstrate what alignment looks like

there's this absolutely fabulous quote that goes like this:

"example is not

one way to teach

it is the only way to teach"

Only from our place of alignment are we capable of teaching things which are a benefit to our children instead of

a detriment to them

from our misalignment

we teach them

how to live their life

out of alignment

with their joy, their freedom, and their own true selves

the one who is in alignment

with their own guidance system

with their own joy, with their own freedom, and with their own true self

is the one who will teach the child

to do the same

and thus, the child will make decisions in their lives based on alignment

instead of based on

some other idea which we have been

positing in the place of our own alignment

this is the difference between the child who goes to get into the car at age sixteen with other children who were drunk at the time

and the one who trusts in their own internal guidance system doesn't get in the car and thus, doesn't end up dead

if you teach your child

to stay in alignment with their own guidance system

and you teach them to find freedom instead of rebellion

your child

will make decisions based on what's right for him or herself

which is the most important thing that you can do for your children

do not expect your children's behavior

to be the basis of your happiness or lack thereof

this sets them up

to believe in their adulthood

that happiness is dependent on other people

it also sets them up to believe that he or she was responsible for the happiness

of others

that right there is the

perfect ingredients

for a chronically unhappy adult

which let's face it

all we really want for our children is that they grow up to live happy lives

those people who base their parenting

off of a system of punishment and reward

are really the problem

which is creating the society we have today which is a punishment based system

we train our children

and future adults

out of alignment

and into resistance and rebellion

and you cannot

ever, punish something

into

wellness

you cannot punish anything into a place of alignment

you cannot punish something into goodness

those are vibrational contradictions

it is impossible

to punish something

into the behavior

which is going to benefit them the most in the end

all that that does is teach a person to lose connection

with their own internal guidance systems

so

how do we parent well?

I'm gonna give you a list of do's and don'ts

The single most important don't when it comes to parenthood is:

do not strip your child of their self-concept

so, how do we strip our child of their self-concept?

1) we find fault and we criticize our children

2) Do not do everything for them

let them make their own choices

We can't think for them and hope to raise adults which are functioning and creating a healthy society

don't foster dependence

this is only going to breed resentment

and unsuccessful adults

a lot of times we mistake

fostering dependence for love

when it's exactly the opposite we are cutting our children's legs out from under themselves

do not mistake consequences

with punishment

and replacing

consequences with lecturing and threats

to understand what I mean between the difference between

consequences

and punishment

I'll give you a scenario

let's say this three-year-old is running around with a truck

and now the three-year-old runs that truck into the family pet

like a cat or a dog

the parent who understands delivering consequences versus punishment

would say something like

(utilizing empathy)

"Oh how sad, looks like the truck is gone"

then they would go down and immediately pick the truck up and put it out of the child's reach

they would not follow that up with any kind of lecturing

they would allow the child to learn from the consequence of their action

the parent who is utilizing punishment instead of the consequence

would get super super angry at the child

they may or may not take away the truck

but what they're going to do is put the child in a timeout

They're going to make it all about the parent against the child, versus the child learning from the consequence of running that truck into the family pet

don't rescue them from their problems

doing that strips them of their freedom, strips them of their ability to learn from things

we have a unique opportunity when it comes to problems and that is to help children

to solve things themselves, that builds an incredible self-concept for your children

very loving parents

come in and sort of

solve everybody's problems for them

they solve the children's problems for the child

and the child grows up and ends up resenting the parent and being incapable of solving their own problems later in life

we can help children solve their problems

but we do not solve them for them

don't deliver consequences with anger

if you deliver consequences with anger all this does is turn the fight

into the parent against the child

instead of the child learning from the consequences of their actions

children come into this life and they learn first off

from the very beginning

cause-and-effect

it's a benefit for them to understand this in the third dimension

and it is not a benefit for them to be stripped of that opportunity of understanding

don't assume that your baby is too young to understand

they are learning from the very very beginning

and quite often we look at little babies who are about six months old and think:

"Oh! they're too young to understand this, it's not time to set limits for them

and that right there is a big mistake because you're laying the foundation

before they even hit toddlerhood

of what they can expect out of adults, what they can get away with, and how safe they are

I want to interject here and talk to you a bit about ferberizing

many of you who understand the parental system of ferberizing, will know that it's

this concept, basically, that babies from the very beginning

learn

that they can manipulate

we're not talking about six...or you know, 2 years old, 3 years old, 4 years old,

we're talking babies that come into this world and

from the very beginning learn that if they cry and you come, then they can manipulate you

The ferberizing concept as far as Source perspective is concerned is the

most damaging thing which has been created in terms of parenting

before the age of about

one

children

only cry because if one thing

they have a need

and if you do not meet that need whether it's to be coddled, whether it's to be fed,

whether it's to be changed,

you are literally undercutting

the trust system between you and your child

ferberizing your child is the worst thing you can do for a child's trust on this planet

As a parent, it will become easier and easier for you to see the difference

between a child crying out of need

which it can't meet itself

and a child which is crying out of manipulation

it's a totally different energy

and you need to trust yourself enough to know that difference

as a parent, you know the difference

we are incredibly underdeveloped when we come into this world

the nature of being a human being

makes it so that

infants can't even fit through the birth canal if they come out totally developed

like we do and like most animals do you

that's why, when we come out

we're, for lack of a better word, three months underdeveloped

so we literally are incapable of meeting our own needs

until were about three months old and even then, and as you know if you've raised a child

there's a whole lot more needs which they can't meet themselves

don't become a doormat or a dictator to your child

What you want to do is become a guide

the person who rescues their child from everything

and the person who orders them to conform

both strip the child

of their self-concept, and both make their children feel powerless

and as you know, I talk quite a bit about the fact

that powerlessness

is the number one problem to our society today

it is the reason

for all of our interpersonal,

personal

and world conflicts which we have going on today

and then we come to, what I think is the last point and one of the

best points

of don'ts when it comes to your children

Don't feed them

unuseful beliefs

one of the most amazing gifts of having a child is the fact that you have to

examine your own limiting

and beneficial beliefs

you can't teach a child to believe something that you don't believe

but, if you want your child to

believe