The big weekends coming up.

即將到來的大週末。

Everyone ready for Valentine's Day?

大家準備好過情人節了嗎？

Yeah, love is in the air, and so is Covic.

是啊，愛情是在空氣中，科維奇也是。

So please plan accordingly.

所以請大家做好相應的規劃。

I cannot stress that enough.

這一點我怎麼強調都不為過。

Yeah, Valentine's on Sunday.

是啊，情人節在週日。

I think we're just going to stay in this year.

我想我們今年就會留在這裡。

Good decision.

好的決定。

Yeah.

是啊。

Which is going to stay in way, actually stayed in last year.

這是要留的方式，其實去年就留了。

And now this year we deeply regret that decision.

而現在今年我們對這個決定深感後悔。

Wait, What are you, a romantic?

等等，你是什麼人，一個浪漫的人？

You should.

你應該。

I think you're a romantic guy.

我覺得你是個浪漫的人。

Read you romantic.

讀你浪漫。

You know, I am romantic, but I'm of the same philosophy of Susan, which is, uh, you know, I think Valentine's Day is everyday.

你知道，我是浪漫的，但我和蘇珊的理念是一樣的，那就是，呃，你知道，我認為情人節是每天的。

Oh, I don't think, Susan, I think Susan things Valentine's Day is a crock.

哦，我不認為，蘇珊，我認為蘇珊認為情人節是個爛攤子。

That's right.

是的

I guess that's slightly different.

我想這是略有不同的。

That is a different thing.

那是兩回事。

I guess that is different season.

我想這是不同的季節。

You are correct.

你是對的。

Yeah.

是啊。

Okay, okay.

好吧，好吧。

It's too much.

太多了

It's too much chocolate.

太多的巧克力。

Too much constipation.

便祕太多。

It's too much expectation.

這是太多的期望。

Um, that's a good turn that really, really jumped.

嗯，這是一個很好的轉折，真的很跳。

That's my biggest concern with conservation.

這是我最關心的保護問題。

Yes, that's that's your concern with Valentine's.

是的，這就是你對情人節的關注。

Yeah, because, you know, it's like you wanna, you know, for Valentine's.

是啊，因為，你知道，這就像你想， 你知道，情人節。

So you wanna be fresh and nimble, you know, Chocolates Just gonna way down?

所以，你想成為新的和靈活的， 你知道，巧克力只是要去的方式下來？

Sure.

當然可以

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

是啊，是啊，是啊。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

This started with the question.

這是從問題開始的。

Are you a romantic guy on its Ended in, You talking about constipation?

你是一個浪漫的傢伙在它結束了，你說的便祕？

So I think we've all found the answer.

所以我想我們都已經找到了答案。

We have to congratulate Tom Brady on his record seventh Super Bowl win last night.

我們要祝賀湯姆-布雷迪昨晚創紀錄的第七次贏得超級碗。

I can't get my head round this.

我不明白我的頭。

It's increased about seven rings.

增加了七環左右。

Seven Super Bowl rings.

七枚超級碗戒指。

He's the Ariana Grande day of football.

他是足球界的阿麗亞娜-格蘭德日。

My favorite moment of the game was when a man where your hot pink one piece ran onto the field.

我最喜歡的遊戲時刻是當一個人在你的熱粉色的一塊跑到場上。

Here he is here, looking in there.

他在這裡，在那裡尋找。

Now, here's my complaint with this, right?

現在，這是我對這個的抱怨，對吧？

I love a streaker.

我喜歡條紋衫。

I absolutely love it.

我絕對喜歡它。

I think I think it raises any sports occasion.

我想我認為它提高了任何運動場合。

But I would say to that man, if you're gonna streak, streak, Yeah, do it properly.

但我會對那個人說，如果你要連勝，連勝，是的，好好幹。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

Put the whole thing out there.

把所有的事情都說出來。

You can't go.

你不能去。

I'm gonna streak on the pitch.

我要在球場上連軸轉。

But then we like what?

但是我們喜歡什麼呢？

I'm gonna do it in one suits.

我打算穿一件衣服做。

I want to maintain a sense of mystery.

我想保持一種神祕感。

I will say, Mark, it's not gonna noticed that you've spruced up the black today and a color squares.

我想說的是，馬克，它不會注意到，你今天已經美化了黑色和一個彩色方塊。

Look at that.

你看那個。

Nice look at that.

看上去不錯。

I appreciate it.

我很感激你

You asked for it, James.

是你自找的，詹姆斯

I did.

我有

I did ask for it on D only you did it.

我確實是在D上要求的，只是你做了。

I thought that a lot of the crew would wouldn't come through on the colors.

我以為，很多船員會不會在顏色上有所體現。

So we've actually ordered all of you.

所以我們其實已經把你們都訂了。

Some of those hot pink ones is for tomorrow's show.

其中一些熱粉色的是明天的節目。

Look at Susan straight in with a round of applause.

看蘇珊直入，掌聲一片。

A Do you find it funny that the referees in football on a microphone I don't think any other sport in the world the refs on the microphone?

A 你覺得足球比賽中的裁判在麥克風上很有趣嗎 我不認為世界上有任何其他運動的裁判在麥克風上？

I would be so tempted if I was a ref just to be, like, how to get some a We knew, though, like, yes, trying to get a record deal off the back of it singing Ref, Hold him back!

如果我是一個裁判，我會很想成為，喜歡，如何得到一些一個我們知道，雖然，喜歡，是的，試圖得到一個唱片合約的背影，唱裁判，抱他回來！。

The player.

該球員。

Oh, yeah, that's awesome.

哦，是的，這是真棒。

There's so much advertising during football.

足球比賽期間的廣告太多。

I am so surprised the ref isn't like this.

我很驚訝，裁判不是這樣的。

Holding was brought to you by progressive.

持是由進步帶來的。

It's only a matter of time.

這只是時間問題。

Where do you do that?

你在哪裡做的？

Hey, Rob.

嘿，羅布。

Thanks for joining us.

謝謝你加入我們的行列。

Hey, Rob.

嘿，羅布。

Thanks for coming to see he's back.

謝謝你來看他回來了。

That Z.

那個Z。

Alright, Rob.

好吧，羅布。

Just running doesn't know.

只跑不知道。

That's three exact producer of the show.

這是三個確切的節目製作人。

Just just coming in a solid four minutes late to the taping.

剛來的時候，遲到了四分鐘的錄音。

What?

什麼？

This is the first I knew as soon as I was standing upstairs and I saw the credit roll was like he's trying to catch May just to burn.

這是我站在樓上一看到功勞卷就知道的第一個，就像他想抓梅只是為了燒。

May never started this quick in your life.

你這輩子都沒這麼快開始過。

I don't think anyone was trying toe.

我不認為有人想去。

The show starts at Three Rock.

演出在三巖開始。

That's never started this 3 304.

這是從來沒有開始這個304。

You could see right there.

你可以看到在那裡。

The show starts at three.

節目在三點開始。

Right?

對吧？

Knew you were here.

就知道你在這裡。

Lewis here.

我是劉易斯

And let's be honest, Lou doesn't even need to be here right now.

說實話，盧現在根本不需要在這裡。

I'm very happy that you're here, Rob.

我很高興你在這裡，羅布。

We're happy that you decided toe grace us with your presence.

我們很高興你決定到我們這裡來做客。

I mean, I'm gonna keep this in there.

我的意思是，我要把這個放在那裡。

You're gonna cut it out.

你要把它切掉。

Question?

問題？

We'll never know.

我們永遠不會知道。

We'll never No way.

我們永遠不會。

We'll never know.

我們永遠不會知道。

What do you reckon?

你覺得呢？

Keep it in E mean, I'd reckon we take it out.

留在E區，我想我們應該把它拿掉。

Good.

很好啊

Reckon a tech company in the United Kingdom has created a cleaning robot that sanitizes hospitals while also telling jokes.

英國一家科技公司Reckon創造了一個清潔機器人，它可以為醫院消毒，同時還能講笑話。

Here it is here how trees access the Internet, they log on.

這裡是這裡的樹如何上網，他們登錄。

Listen, I know you're thinking that robots okay and stand up, but his podcast is really good.

聽著，我知道你在想，機器人還好，站起來，但他的播客真的很好。

I actually like his life stuff.

其實我很喜歡他生活中的東西。

His podcast is amazing.

他的播客是驚人的。

Thier kids there at the hospital.

他們的孩子在醫院裡。

They really enjoyed hearing the robot tell jokes.

他們非常喜歡聽機器人講笑話。

Unfortunately, a little later on, there was a glitch on the robot ended up doing a completely different act.

不幸的是，稍後，機器人上出現了一個小故障，最終做出了完全不同的行為。

Guys air So gross, aren't they?

男人們的氣質很差，不是嗎？

But I just had sex with a guy more than you've ever seen in your life.

但我剛剛和一個男人發生了性關係，比你一生中見過的還要多。

There's some interesting space news, or is is known in space news to tell you about three spacecrafts launched by three different nations are due to reach Mars within days of each other.

有一些有趣的太空新聞，或者說是已知的太空新聞，告訴你三個不同國家發射的航天器將在幾天內到達火星。

The United Arab Emirates appropriate Mars Today China's arrives on Wednesday, and NASA's will touch down next week.

阿拉伯聯合酋長國適當火星今天中國的週三到達，美國宇航局的將在下週登陸。

Three different probes in less than a week.

不到一週的時間，三個不同的探頭。

Those air GMO numbers.

這些空氣GMO數字。

You know what this is?

你知道這是什麼嗎？

Gamma.

伽馬。

Would you know what it is?

你知道這是什麼嗎？

What is it, James?

什麼事，詹姆斯？

It's a Mona's.

這是一個莫娜的。

Mona's a twat.

莫娜是個娘們

Oh, okay.

哦，好吧。

That was a failure of a joke.

這是一個失敗的笑話。

Failure to launch failure, lunch.

發射失敗，午餐。

That was a failure of a joke.

這是一個失敗的笑話。

Yes.

是的，我知道

Wow.

哇哦

I can't argue it.

我無法辯駁。

This is exciting.

這是令人興奮的。

The world's first three D bio printed rib eye steak was just unveiled.

全球首款三D生物打印肋眼牛排剛剛亮相。

The steak is made out of lab grown meat, and it's completely cruelty free.

牛排是用實驗室培養的肉做的，完全不受虐待。

So now when you give your compliments to the chef, it'll look like this.

所以，現在當你對大廚讚美的時候，會是這樣的。

That's exactly the laugh that deserved.

這正是該笑的。

That's exactly the laugh it deserved.

這正是它該有的笑點。

Winnie at least gave a laugh.

溫妮至少笑了一聲。

Alex just went.

亞歷克斯只是去。

She wasn't looking thinking you're better than that, James.

她不是在想你比那更好，詹姆斯。

She was thinking, I'm better than this.

她在想，我比這個好。

Look, I'm just not paint shop.

你看，我只是不油漆店。

Oh, please.

哦，別這樣

I love this.

我喜歡這個。

Well done.

幹得好

Thank you, sir.

謝謝你，先生。

This is exactly how I imagine you every weekend.

這正是我對你每個週末的想象。

It's part of the New Orleans collection that I absolutely love.

這是新奧爾良系列的一部分，我非常喜歡。

It marks come in with some kind of e even know it's a call this mark.

它的標誌來與某種e甚至知道它是一個叫這個標誌。

What are we looking at here?

我們在這裡看什麼？

Yeah, black and white.

是啊，黑白兩色。

Uh huh.

嗯哼。

The old black and white?

以前的黑白兩道？

No, but I mean the vibe of it.

不，但我指的是它的氛圍。

The vibe of it is Italian Bordello.

它的氛圍是意大利波德洛。

Italian, of course.

當然是意大利人

Of course it is.

當然是的。

Of course it is.

當然是的。

Even Joel has given us, like a like a What are we looking at here are like a rusty peach.

連喬爾都給了我們，像個像個什麼，我們在這裡看的都是像個生鏽的桃子。

It's the only thing that had color.

這是唯一有顏色的東西。

Well, let me tell you, it's brightened all of our days.

好吧，讓我來告訴你，它讓我們的日子都變亮了。

It really, really has.

它真的，真的有。

I love this, Pete.

我喜歡這個，皮特

I don't ever want to see you not dressed for a barbecue ever again way.

我再也不想看到你不穿衣服去參加燒烤了。

Got it on.

得到了它。

Finally, we have a new story here that CBS even that CBS Evening News have said publicly they're too afraid to cover 60 minutes running.

最後，我們這裡有一個新的報道，CBS甚至那個CBS晚間新聞都公開表示，他們不敢報道60分鐘的新聞。

Scared.

害怕。

They will not talk about this story.

他們不會談論這個故事。

But we here at the Late, Late Show, we believe in shining the light on the truth no matter what it takes.

但我們在 "遲到的晚間秀 "節目中，我們相信無論付出什麼代價，都要把真相照亮。

We made a deal with you, the viewer, to bring you the truth.

我們和你，觀眾做了一個交易，給你帶來真相。

However difficult it is to talk about on this story.

無論在這個故事上談何艱難。

This is the only place you'll find it.

這是你唯一能找到它的地方。

A dad in the United Kingdom recently drove through a fast food restaurant and ordered some chicken strips and one of them looked like this.

英國的一位爸爸最近開車經過一家快餐店，點了一些雞條，其中有一條是這樣的。

Mhm.

嗯

Can you see it?

你能看到它嗎？

Can everyone see it?

大家能看到嗎？

Just making sure everyone could see it as faras chicken goes, it looks like the Colonel lost one of his privates.

只是想讓大家都能看到，就像雞肉一樣，看起來上校失去了一個私處。

Thank you.

謝謝你了

You can actually get this meal in three different styles.

其實這頓飯你可以用三種不同的方式來吃。

Regular sized, supersized, circumcised.

常規尺寸，超大尺寸，包皮過長。

Pete, you want to get in on this.

皮特，你也想參與進來。

You got any chicken forest?

你有雞林嗎？

Wanna throw some chicken in the what?

想把雞肉扔進什麼裡嗎？

Looks like maybe chicken nuts.

看上去像是雞仁。

So little.

這麼少。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Okay, Joe, Anything to tell us about the chicken?

好吧，喬，關於那隻雞有什麼要告訴我們的嗎？

Well, you know, you can get a plane, but I prefer my chicken jerk.

你知道，你可以坐飛機，但我更喜歡吃雞肉。

Nice mark.

很好的標記。

What about you?

你呢？

Just you got anything on the chicken for us?

只是你有什麼雞肉給我們嗎？

I've got nothing to say.

我沒什麼可說的

I like my chicken boneless O e.

我喜歡我的無骨雞肉O E。