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自動翻譯
  • - I am from a city where the white dudes

    - 我來自一個城市,那裡的白人帥哥。

  • either do meth or they work plumbing.

    要麼做安非他命,要麼做管道。

  • You know what I mean?

    你知道我的意思嗎?

  • But they do something.

    但他們做了一些事情。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I never seen so many able-bodied white dudes

    我從來沒有見過這麼多健壯的白人帥哥。

  • just sleeping on the street, you know?

    只是睡在大街上,你知道嗎?

  • And I really hated when they would ask me for money.

    而且我真的很討厭他們向我要錢的時候。

  • You know what I mean?

    你知道我的意思嗎?

  • Like, I'm a black lesbian.

    就像,我是一個黑人女同性戀者。

  • I'm never gonna give you shit.

    我永遠不會給你狗屎。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • - My girlfriend, my first girlfriend, huge deal,

    - 我的女朋友,我的初戀女友,大事。

  • 'cause I didn't even know how gay I was

    因為我甚至不知道我是多麼的同志。

  • 'til I met this girl, you know?

    直到我遇到這個女孩,你知道嗎?

  • I don't know, 'cause women, we teeter, we do.

    我不知道,因為女人,我們會搖擺不定,我們會。

  • We play games.

    我們玩遊戲。

  • You kiss a girl in the club to make

    你在俱樂部親吻一個女孩,讓

  • your boyfriend's dick hard, you do silly shit.

    你男朋友的雞巴硬, 你做愚蠢的狗屎。

  • You're not always just laying over there.

    你不總是隻是躺在那裡。

  • You know what I mean?

    你知道我的意思嗎?

  • So I didn't know, I was like maybe I'm just

    所以,我不知道,我想,也許我只是

  • grab titties in the club gay,

    在俱樂部裡抓奶子的同志。

  • and not go down on a chick gay.

    而不是對小雞同志下手。

  • Very different gays.

    非常不同的同志。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Very different gays on the spectrum.

    非常不同的光譜上的同志。

  • But I met this girl, I was like no man,

    但我遇到這個女孩,我就像沒有男人一樣。

  • I'm going down on this chick.

    我要對這個小妞下手。

  • I'm ready.

    我已經準備好了

  • Huge deal, man, I was scared.

    巨大的交易,男人,我很害怕。

  • I had to get myself charged up to do it.

    我必須給自己充電才行。

  • John Madden in the huddle like I'm gonna eat this pussy.

    約翰-麥登在圍觀的時候,就像我要吃這個娘們一樣。

  • Go, go, go.

    走,走,走。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Got this.

    得到了這個。

  • I was looking in the mirror like you are a champion.

    我看著鏡子裡的你,就像你是個冠軍。

  • Don't worry.

    別擔心

  • And then I got her home and she laid down on the bed,

    然後我把她弄回家,她就躺在床上。

  • and I realized I had never seen a vagina from this pers--

    我意識到,我從來沒有見過 陰道從這個角度 -

  • Like I've seen mine from this perspective.

    就像我從這個角度看我的。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I ain't ever seen it like that.

    我從來沒有見過這樣的。

  • I was not ready at all.

    我根本就沒有準備好。

  • I was like oh, what the hell is that?

    我當時想,哦,那是什麼鬼東西?

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Started poking at it, like uh-uh.

    開始戳破它,像呃呃。

  • Close your legs, let's go to church.

    合上你的腿,我們去教堂吧。

  • We need to pray.

    我們需要祈禱。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • You know, go ahead, pray this gay away, girl.

    你知道的,去吧,祈禱這個同志離開,女孩。

  • We all living foul.

    我們都活得很糟糕。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • But that's a journey, you go through the ups and downs

    但這是一個旅程,你會經歷起伏的過程

  • until you find where you're supposed to land.

    直到你找到你應該降落的地方。

  • You know what I mean?

    你知道我的意思嗎?

  • And I love my wife, I do.

    我也愛我的妻子,我真的愛。

  • You know, she's here, and I love her.

    你知道,她在這裡,我愛她。

  • She's supportive, but it's hard.

    她很支持,但很難。

  • She doesn't say a lot of things I care about.

    她沒有說很多我關心的事情。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I didn't know that was gonna be a problem

    我不知道那會是個問題。

  • when I married--

    當我結婚的時候...

  • She talks a lot, but I don't give a shit about most of it.

    她說了很多,但我對大部分都不屑一顧。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Most of it's just like, I don't--

    大部分都是,我不... ...

  • Why, you know?

    為什麼,你知道嗎?

  • And I gotta feign interest, she knows when I'm fei--

    我得假裝感興趣,她知道我什麼時候... ...

  • It's just terrible, man, and I wish it was different.

    太可怕了,夥計,我希望它是不同的。

  • I wish she was saying things that were more valuable to me.

    我希望她說的話對我更有價值。

  • I really do, I wish she had more valuable things--

    我真的希望她有更多有價值的東西 --

  • And it's like I know as feminists, as women like,

    就像我知道作為女權主義者,作為女人喜歡。

  • you know, everything we say is val--

    你知道,我們說的一切都很有價值...

  • It's like yeah, her thoughts are valuable,

    就好像是啊,她的想法很有價值。

  • but the shit that's actually coming out her mouth, garbage.

    但她嘴裡說的都是廢話,垃圾。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Pure garbage.

    純粹的垃圾。

  • (applause)

    (掌聲)

  • This is not good stuff.

    這可不是什麼好東西。

  • This is pointless, man.

    這是沒有意義的,男人。

  • It's never in the clutch stuff.

    從來沒有在離合器的東西。

  • It's never things that are gonna save my life

    從來沒有什麼東西能救我的命。

  • in the moment.

    在當下。

  • It's never like we're driving over a bridge

    我們從來不會像在橋上開車一樣。

  • and she's like hey, hon, crack those windows

    和她一樣,嘿,親愛的, 打破這些窗戶,

  • just in case we go off this bridge,

    以防萬一,我們去了這座橋。

  • land in this water, you'll be able to open the door,

    落在這水裡,你就可以開門了。

  • do the pressure, swim right out, save your life.

    做壓力,游出去,救你的命。

  • Never information like that.

    從來沒有這樣的資訊。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Never solid.

    從不穩固。

  • It's always just like I'm in the kitchen pouring a soda.

    總是像我在廚房裡倒蘇打水一樣。

  • She strolls by, that's a wine glass.

    她漫步走過,那是一個酒杯。

  • Soda doesn't go in there.

    蘇打水不進那裡。

  • Like, shut the fuck up.

    就像,閉上你的嘴。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Maybe I want to drink my soda like a king today

    也許我今天要像國王一樣喝汽水吧

  • out of a goblet.

    從一個高腳杯中。

  • I got my own plans, mind your business.

    我有自己的計劃,管好你的事。

  • What's up bro?

    什麼是兄弟?

  • How are you, dawg?

    你好嗎,老兄?

  • My girl gets on my fucking nerves, you know?

    我的女孩讓我他媽的緊張,你知道嗎?

  • I love her, but she's fucking annoying, dude.

    我愛她,但她是他媽的煩人,夥計。

  • That's just like, eventually everybody gets irritated.

    這就像,最終每個人都會被激怒。

  • You can't do anything about it.

    你不能做任何事情。

  • I started to learn too much about her, I don't like it.

    我開始對她瞭解太多,我不喜歡。

  • She's easily sensationalized.

    她很容易被煽情。

  • She just jumps on bandwagons.

    她只是跳上帶子。

  • I fucking hate that, like she'll read an article

    我他媽的討厭這樣,就像她會讀一篇文章一樣

  • and then she'll be like I'm a vegan Muslim now.

    然後她就會像我一樣,我是一個素食穆斯林了。

  • Like, that's not how it works.

    就像,這不是它如何工作。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • She's a fake vegan too, and that pisses me off.

    她也是個假素食者,這讓我很生氣。

  • She's not a real vegan.

    她不是一個真正的素食主義者。

  • It's not genuine, it's not in her heart.

    這不是真心話,不是她的心裡話。

  • It's not about the animals.

    這不是關於動物的。

  • She just wants to lose weight.

    她只是想減肥。

  • That's not a real reason, that's trash, you know?

    這不是一個真正的理由,那是垃圾,你知道嗎?

  • It's like the get slim tees weren't working,

    好像是瘦身T恤沒有用。

  • so now she's a fucking vegan.

    所以現在她是一個他媽的素食主義者。

  • Shut up. (laughter)

    閉嘴吧(笑聲)

  • I watched her eat a vegan burger from White Castle,

    我看著她吃白色城堡的素食漢堡。

  • and now I hate her fucking guts.

    現在我恨她他媽的膽量。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • She got a vegan burger from White Castle.

    她從白色城堡買了一個素食漢堡。

  • You don't understand, her vegan diet

    你不明白,她的素食主義

  • has inconvenienced me several times.

    已經給我帶來了好幾次不便。

  • I can't go here, this can't touch this,

    我不能去這裡,這個不能碰這個。

  • and then she ate a vegan burger from fucking White Castle.

    然後她吃了一個素食漢堡 從他媽的白色城堡。

  • If you don't know what a White Castle is,

    如果你不知道白色城堡是什麼。

  • just imagine a crack house with a window on the side,

    想象一下,一個裂縫的房子,邊上有一扇窗戶。

  • with a crack head in that bitch just chucking out sliders.

    有一個裂縫的頭 在那個婊子只是攆出滑塊。

  • That's a fucking White Castle,

    這是一個他媽的白色城堡。

  • and she ordered a vegan burger from this place

    她在這個地方點了一個素食漢堡包

  • as if they didn't dip it in pork belly fat

    彷彿他們沒有用豬肚油浸泡過一樣。

  • before they gave it to her.

    在他們給她之前。

  • Then she ate it in my face and wants my respect.

    然後她當著我的面吃了,要我尊重她。

  • Like nigger, what?

    像黑鬼,什麼?

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • It's dope to be back in L.A., man.

    能回到洛杉磯真是太好了,夥計

  • I've been on the road, so this is nice.

    我一直在路上,所以這個很好。

  • It's nice to just take all this L.A. shit in,

    這是很好的,只是把所有這些洛杉磯狗屎。

  • all these white faces in.

    所有這些白臉在。

  • 'Cause I moved here from Boston, you know?

    因為我是從波士頓搬來的,你知道嗎?

  • So when I got to L.A. it was a super culture shock.

    所以當我到了洛杉磯,那是一個超級文化衝擊。

  • I had never seen so many homeless white men in my life.

    我這輩子從沒見過這麼多無家可歸的白叟。

  • It was weird to me.

    我覺得很奇怪。

  • I am from a city where the white dudes either do meth

    我來自一個城市,那裡的白人帥哥不是吸食安非他命,就是吸食毒品。

  • or they work plumbing.

    或者他們從事水暖工作。

  • You know what I mean?

    你知道我的意思嗎?

  • But they do something.

    但他們做了一些事情。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I never seen so many able-bodied white dudes

    我從來沒有見過這麼多健壯的白人帥哥。

  • just sleeping on the street, you know?

    只是睡在大街上,你知道嗎?

  • And I really hated when they would ask me for money.

    而且我真的很討厭他們向我要錢的時候。

  • You know what I mean?

    你知道我的意思嗎?

  • Like I'm a black lesbian, I'm never gonna give you shit.

    就像我是一個黑人女同性戀者, 我永遠不會給你狗屎。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Go cut your hair and work at a Subway.

    去剪你的頭髮,在地鐵工作。

  • What the hell is your problem?

    你到底有什麼問題?

  • But that's what the road does, it just opens you up, man,

    但這就是道路的作用,它只是打開你,男人。

  • exposes you to all different types of people.

    讓你接觸到所有不同類型的人。

  • I was like L.A. is bad with the homeless white dudes,

    我當時覺得洛杉磯的無家可歸的白人帥哥很糟糕。

  • and then I went to Portland and I was like holy shit.

    然後我去了波特蘭,我很喜歡的神聖的狗屎。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • This is crazy.

    這真是瘋了。

  • And then I went to Bonnaroo

    然後我去了Bonnaroo

  • and I was really mind blown, man.

    我真的是心花怒放,男人。

  • I went to Tennessee, did Bonnaroo.

    我去了田納西州,做了Bonnaroo。

  • I'd never been to a music festival like that,

    我從來沒有參加過這樣的音樂節。

  • so open and free, just girls walking around

    如此開放和自由,只是女孩走動

  • with their titties out everywhere,

    與他們的奶子出無處不在。

  • eating medium rare burgers all willy nilly.

    吃著中熟的漢堡,都是胡亂吃的。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Living.

    生活。

  • I had a medium rare burger myself.

    我自己吃了一箇中熟漢堡。

  • The whole time I felt like I was disrespecting my mother.

    整個過程中,我都覺得自己對母親不尊重。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I was like man, you were raised so much better than this.

    我當時想,夥計,你被養得比這好得多。

  • What are you doing?

    你在做什麼?

  • But it was good, I liked the texture, the flavor.

    但它很好,我喜歡它的口感,味道。

  • And that's how I ended up trying mushrooms,

    這就是我最後嘗試蘑菇的原因。

  • 'cause I was like fuck it.

    "因為我很喜歡他媽的它。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Maybe everything is a lie, you know what I mean?

    也許一切都是謊言,你明白我的意思嗎?

  • 'Cause I'm a dear kid, man.

    因為我是一個親愛的孩子,男人。

  • I'm scared of drugs, I grew up scared of drugs.

    我害怕毒品,我從小就害怕毒品。

  • I didn't start smoking weed 'til I was 25.

    我直到25歲才開始抽大麻。

  • Petrified of drugs, never tried mushrooms.

    害怕毒品,從未嘗試過蘑菇。

  • Had arguments with my friends over not trying mushrooms.

    曾因不嘗試蘑菇而與朋友爭論。

  • I remember one time my homeboy was like Sam,

    我記得有一次我的老鄉就像山姆一樣。

  • how have you never tried mushrooms?

    你怎麼從來沒有嘗試過蘑菇?

  • It's one of the best drugs on Earth.

    這是地球上最好的藥物之一。

  • What is your problem, how have you never experienced this?

    你的問題是什麼,你怎麼從來沒有經歷過?

  • And I was like dude, all I could think about

    我當時就像紈絝子弟,所有我能想到的是,

  • is going out my door and seeing a crack head

    是走出我的門,看到一個裂縫的頭,

  • and a fucking fiend fighting over a baby stroller.

    和一個該死的惡魔爭奪嬰兒車。

  • Like, I don't live in a mushroom friendly environment.

    就像,我沒有生活在一個蘑菇友好的環境中。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • But it's not like that, you know what I'm saying?

    但不是這樣的,你知道我在說什麼嗎?

  • I did mushrooms, I did mushrooms in Bonnaroo, man,

    我做了蘑菇,我做了蘑菇 在Bonnaroo,男人。

  • and I took it in a chocolate bar, you know what I'm saying?

    我把它在巧克力棒, 你知道我在說什麼?

  • They gave me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms,

    他們給了我一塊滿是蘑菇的巧克力棒。

  • 'cause white people know how to do drugs.

    因為白人知道如何吸毒。

  • I ate the shit. (laughter)

    我吃了狗屎。(笑聲)

  • And I would bounce to this EDM band,

    而我也會跟著這個EDM樂隊蹦蹦跳跳。

  • and they're partying, humping off the Molly.

    他們在聚會,駝峰關閉莫利。

  • I'm trying to figure out what's going on here.

    我想弄清楚這是怎麼回事。

  • And this black dude comes walking through,

    然後這個黑人哥們走了過來。

  • and he's jacked to shit, jacked.

    他的jacked到狗屎,jacked。

  • Super diesel, no shirt on, looking tough as fuck.

    超級柴油機,沒穿上衣,看起來很強悍的樣子。

  • But he's got on these giant fairy wings.

    但他戴著巨大的仙女翅膀

  • But he's still tough, he's still bullying through the crowd

    但他還是很強硬,他還是在人群中欺負人。

  • with these fairy wings like baby,

    有了這些仙女的翅膀,就像寶貝一樣。

  • you better not crumple up my fairy wings.

    你最好別把我的仙女翅膀弄皺了。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I'ma fuck you up.

    我去你媽的。

  • And he walks to this clearing and I'm like holy shit.

    他走到這塊空地上,我就想我的媽呀。

  • And then this dude, just as big white dude,

    然後這哥們,就跟大白哥們一樣。

  • just as big, in a Teletubby costume walks up to him.

    一樣大,穿著天線寶寶的服裝走到他面前。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Just as jacked, and I'm like

    就像jacked,和我一樣。

  • what kinda Pokemon showdown is this

    這到底是什麼寵物小精靈的對決

  • about to be?

    即將是?

  • And then they hugged each other.

    然後他們互相擁抱。

  • And as I was watching it, I was like I don't know

    當我看著它的時候,我就像我不知道。

  • if this is how Martin Luther King dreamed it.

    如果這就是馬丁-路德-金的夢想。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • But this is it, this is equality.

    但就是這樣,這就是平等。

  • White dudes, what the hell are they complaining about?

    白人帥哥,他們到底在抱怨什麼?

  • Let me tune in, and I'm like fuck them, man.

    讓我調入,我喜歡他媽的他們,男人。

  • They didn't lose shit, and they would always

    他們沒有失去狗屎,他們總是會。

  • get to this point in their rhetoric

    言之鑿鑿

  • where they talk about they're losing the country.

    在那裡他們談論他們正在失去國家。

  • I'd be so upset, we're losing, we're losing.

    我會很難過,我們輸了,我們輸了。

  • What the hell did they lose?

    他們到底輸了什麼?

  • We're losing, what the hell did they lose?

    我們輸了,他們到底輸了什麼?

  • And then I watched three seasons of Mad Men on Netflix.

    然後我在Netflix上看了三季《瘋狂的男人》。

  • Holy shit. (laughter)

    神聖的狗屎。(笑聲)

  • They lost everything.

    他們失去了一切。

  • They lost everything.

    他們失去了一切。

  • 'Cause at some point that was really their life.

    因為在某些時候,這才是他們真正的生活。

  • That's what no one understands.

    這就是大家都不明白的地方。

  • Like we can't think about it 'cause we never lived it.

    就像我們不能去想它,因為我們從未經歷過。

  • That was their life every day.

    這就是他們每天的生活。

  • They could wake up in the morning,

    他們可以在早上醒來。

  • bourbon on their breath,

    他們口中的波旁威士忌。

  • another woman's smell all over their body,

    另一個女人的味道在他們的身上。

  • walk downstairs, kiss their wife in the mouth.

    走下樓,親吻妻子的嘴。

  • She says nothing, just serves them pancakes

    她什麼也沒說,只是給他們上了煎餅

  • with a perfect butter square in the middle

    寸草不生

  • like an Aunt Jemima box.

    就像傑米瑪阿姨的盒子。

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)