ABOUT, YESTERDAY'S BIG LEGAL PROCEEDINGS.

關於，今天的重大法律訴訟。

I'M TALKING OBVIOUSLY ABOUT THE TEXAS LAWYER WHO SHOWED UP FOR

我說的顯然是那個出現的德州律師。

HIS ZOOM HEARING WITH A CAT FILTER.

他的變焦聽力與貓咪過濾器。

DID EVERYBODY SEE THIS?

大家都看到了嗎？

IT IS, DID YOU SEE T REGGIE.

是的，你看到了嗎？ 雷吉。

>> Reggie: IT IS TOO MUCH.

>> 太多了。

>> James: ST HONESTLY, IT IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN ON

>> 詹姆斯。這是最好的事情，我見過的。

THE INTERNET, IT REALLY, REALLY IS.

互聯網，它真的，真的是。

IF YOU DIDN'T CATCH IT, HAVE A LOOK.

如果你沒看到，請看一下。

>> I BELIEVE YOU HAVE A FILTER TURNED ON.

>> 我相信你已經打開了過濾器。

>> YOU MIGHT WANT TO-- WE'RE TRYING, YOU CAN HEAR ME, JUDGE.

>> 你可能會想 -- 我們在努力，你能聽到我的聲音，法官。

>> CAN I HEAR YOU, I THINK IT'S A FILTER.

>> 我可以聽到你，我認為這是一個過濾器。

>> ST. AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO REMOVE

>> ST.我不知道如何刪除。

IT I'VE GOT MY ASSISTANT HERE.

我的助手在這裡。

SHE'S TRYING TO.

她試圖。

I'M PREPARED TO GO FORWARD WITH IT.

我已經準備好了，要和它一起前進。

I'M HERE LIVE, I'M NOT A CAT.

我在這裡生活，我不是一隻貓。

>> CAN I SEE THAT.

>> 我可以看到的。

>> James: I MEAN, I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

>> 詹姆斯。我的意思是，我愛它這麼多。

I LOVE THAT HE SAID, CAN YOU HEAR ME, JUDGE.

我喜歡他說："你能聽到我說話嗎，法官。

AS IF THAT WAS EVER THE PROBLEM.

好像這就是問題所在。

ALSO LOVE HOW WORRIED THE CAT LOOKED.

我也很喜歡那隻貓的憂慮表情。

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I A CAT WOULD LOOK IF HE WAS THRONE INTO

這完全是我一隻貓會怎麼看，如果他是王座到。

HIS FIRST DISTRICT COURT APPEALS CASE.

他的第一地區法院上訴案件：

I FEEL LIKE-- SUNT THIS ALREADY BE A DISNEY PLUS MOVIE, DO YOU

我覺得... ... 這已經是一部迪斯尼的電影了，你呢？

KNOW WHAT I MEAN, A LAWYER DAD SWITCHESSED ABOUTEES WITH THE

知道我的意思嗎，一個律師爸爸和他的朋友調情。

FAMILY CAT, THE DAT AS A CAT HAS TO SHOW UP FOR CAT, THE CAT AS A

家庭貓，DAT作為一隻貓必須出現的貓，貓作為一個。

DAD STAYS HOME AND SHOWS AFFECTION TOWARDS HIS FAMILY FOR

爸爸留在家裡，對家人的感情表現得淋漓盡致。

THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS.

幾年來的第一次。

AND WE SHOULD-- THIS HAS TO HAVE ALREADY BEEN OPTIONED.

我們應該... ... 這必須已經被選擇了。

>> Reggie: IT COULD BE THE FURRY DVMENT AMOUNT OF.

>> 它可能是憤怒的DVMENT的數量。

>> James: THE FURRY DA.

>> 詹姆斯。憤怒的一天。

>> Reggie: YEAH.

>> 雷吉：YEAH。

>> James: THAT'S A GREAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD CALL IT.

>> 詹姆斯。這是一個偉大的，你知道我怎麼稱呼它。

>> Reggie: WHAT.

>> 雷吉：什麼。

>> James: FELLINE FRIDAY, BECAUSE ST LIKE FREAKIE FRIDAY

>> 詹姆斯。FELLINE FRIDAY，因為ST LIKE FREAKIE FRIDAY。

BUT IT IS FELLIN FRIDAY.

但它是FELLIN星期五。

>> I LOVE IT.

>> 我愛它。

>> James: YOU COULD CALL IT C CLAYER, THE CAT'S MEO.

>> 詹姆斯。你可以把它稱為C-克萊爾，貓的MEO。

>> CLAW & ORDER JDZ CLAW & ORDER.

>> CLAW & ORDER JDZ CLAW & ORDER.

IT DOESN'T GET BIGGER THAN THAT.

沒有比這更大的了。

IT REALLY DOESN'T.

它真的沒有。

NOW BEFORE WE POV ON,-- .

現在，在我們開始之前，--。

THIS IS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL.

這是失控的。

WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

這裡發生了什麼？

>> BARBECUE READY, BOSS.

>> BARBECUE READY, BOSS.

>> James: ON LAST'S NIGHT SHOW PETE WAS WEARING A DELICIOUS

>> 詹姆斯。在昨晚的節目中，佩特穿著一件精美的衣服

HAWAIIAN SHIRT.

HAWAIIAN SHIRT.

HOW WOULD WE DESCRIBE IT, IT WAS AN HAWAII NUMBER.

我們該如何描述它，它是一個夏威夷數字。

>> WITH PINEAPPLES.

>> 與松果。

>> James: I SAID I ONLY WANT TO SEE YOU NOW IF YOU ARE

>> 詹姆斯。我說我現在只想見你，如果你是。

DRESSED FOR A BARBECUE.

穿著巴比丘的衣服。

>> LET'S COOK.

>> 讓我們來做飯。

>> James: I LOVE IT, PETE, STICK WITH IT, MJ, EVEN MJ TODAY

>> James:我愛它，PETE，堅持下去，MJ，甚至MJ今天。

WHO I WAS SCARED TO TALK TO YESTERDAY BECAUSE I THOUGHT M

今天我害怕和誰說話，因為我認為我

SWRRKS' NOT INTO THIS COLORFUL CREW THING BUT LOOK.

SWRRKS'不喜歡這種色彩斑斕的衣服，但看看。

HE'S COMING, LIKE MIAMI VICE.

他要來了，就像米國副總統。

TALK ME LIEU IT, MJ, WHEN YOU GET READY, WHEN YOU GOT READY

告訴我，MJ，當你準備好了，當你準備好了。

THIS MORNING DID YOU HAVE A MOMENT WHERE YOU THOUGHT, AM I

今天早上，你是否有一個時刻，你會想，我是不是... ...

REALLY DOING THIS STH.

真正做這個STH。

>> OH, I WAS DRUNK.

>> 哦，我喝多了。

(LAUGHTER).

(笑)：

>> James: LET'S TALK ABOUT THE HEADLINES, MOVING ON.

>> 詹姆斯。讓我們來談談頭條新聞，繼續前進。

DONALD TRUMP APPARENTLY SPENT YESTERDAY WATCHING HIS

唐納德-特魯姆普昨天似乎花了很多時間來觀看他自己的

IMPEACHMENT TRIAL FROM MAR-A-LAGO AND ACCORDING TO

MAR-A-LAGO和根據《聯合國憲章》第七十三條的規定

SOURCES TRUMP WAS NOT HAPPY WITH HIS LEGAL TEAM'S PERFORMANCE.

資源特朗普不滿意他的律師團隊的表現。

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, HE WAS HIS NORMAL BALL OF SUNSHINE SELF.

但除此之外，他還是一個正常的陽光球。

HERE'S HOW YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE BAD AT YOUR JOB, WHEN EVEN

以下是你如何知道自己的工作是否糟糕，甚至是

DONALD TRUMP THINKS YOU'RE BAD AT YOUR JOB.

唐納德・特朗普認為你不擅長你的工作。

I MEAN FIRST GIULIANI, NOW THESE GUYS.

我是說，先是朱利安尼，現在是這些傢伙。

TRUMP IS REALLY BAD AT PICKING AN EFFECTIVE LAWYER.

特朗普真的不擅長挑選有效的律師。

WHICH I CHALK UP AS GREAT NEWS FOR MELANIA.

我認為這對羅馬尼亞來說是個好消息。

TODAY THE DEMOCRATIC IMPEACHMENT MANAGERS BAN THEIR-- BEGAN

今天，民主黨的執行經理禁止他們的... 開始。

MAWKING THEIR NORMAL CASE AGAINST DONALD TRUMP.

為反對唐納德-特朗普而提出正常的訴訟。

LEAD MANAGER JAMIE RASKIN KICKED THINGS OFF BUT UNVEILING A NEW

首席經理JAMIE RASKIN開啟了一切，但公佈了一個新的。

NICKNAME FOR THE FORMER PRESIDENT.

前任主席的名字：

>> WILL IS SHOW THAT DONE ALL TRUMP SURRENDERED HIS ROLE AS

>>意志是顯示，完成了所有的特朗普放棄了他的角色作為

COMMANDER IN CHEAF AND BECAME THE INCITER-IN-CHIEF.

指揮官在CHAF，併成為煽動者的頭目。

>> James: THEN LATER AN AIDE HAD TO LEAN IN AND SAY TO TRUMP

>> 詹姆斯：後來一個助手不得不靠過來對特朗普說：

NO, THAT WOULD NOT LOOK COOL ON A HAT.

不，戴在帽子上一點都不酷。

THEN RASSIC SET THE STAGE FOR THE DEMOCRATS CASE AGAINST TRUMP

然後拉西克為民主黨起訴特朗普做了鋪墊。

BY USING AN EXTENDED ANALOGY ABOUT YELLING "FIRE" IN A

用一個延伸的比喻來形容在一個地方大喊 "火"。

THEATRE.

劇院：

SEE IF YOU CAN FOLLOW ALONG.

看看你能不能跟上。

>> THIS CASE IS MUCH, MUCH WORSE THAN SOMEONE WHO FALSELY SHOUTS

>> 這種情況比有人假惺惺地大喊大叫要糟糕得多。

FIRE IN A CROWDED THEATER.

在一個擁擠的劇院裡發生了火災。

IT MORE LIKE THE CASE WHERE THE TOWN FIRE CHIEF WHO'S PAID TO

它更像一個案例，其中鎮消防隊長誰是受僱的

PUT OUT FIRES SENDS A MOB NOT TO YELL FIRE IN A CROWDED THEATER

撲滅火警要求暴徒不要在擁擠的劇院裡大喊大叫。

BUT TO ACTUALLY SET THE THEATER ON FIRE.

但實際上是為了讓劇院著火。

>> James: OKAY, YEAH, WE GET IT.

>> 詹姆斯。好吧，是的，我們得到它。

YOU CAN STOP WITH THAT NOW.

你可以停止與現在。

>> AND WHO THEN WHEN THE FIRE ALARMS GO OFF AND THE CALLS

>> 當火警警報響起，電話響起時，誰又會來？

START FLOODING INTO THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, ASKING FOR HELP,

開始湧入消防隊，請求幫助。

DOES FOG BUT SIT BACK, ENCOURAGE THE MOB TO CONTINUE ITS RAMPAGE

霧化，但坐好，鼓勵摩托車繼續行駛。

AND WATCH THE FIRE SPREAD ON TV WITH GLEE AND DELIGHT.

並在電視上看到火勢蔓延的喜悅和快樂。

>> James: THAT WASN'T JUST CONFUSING, IT IS LIKE IF AN

>> 詹姆斯。這不僅僅是令人困惑的，這就像如果一個。

ANALOGY WAS A PUDDLE IN A ROAD EXCEPT IT WASN'T EVEN RAINING SO

ANALOGY WAS A PUDDLE IN A ROAD EXCEPT IT WASN'T WASN'T EVEN RAINING SO

ARE YOU LIKE WHERE DID THE PUDDLE COME FROM.

你是想說這泥巴是從哪裡來的？

AND THERE IS MUD EVERYWHERE, WHICH WOULD CAUSE YOU TO BELIEVE

而且到處都是泥巴，這會讓你相信。

IT WAS RAINING AND THEN YOU TURN ON THE WEATHER CHANNEL AND THE

下雨了，然後你打開天氣頻道，然後你就會發現。

GUY IS LIKE CLEAR SKIES AND HE'S JUST LIKE WHAT THE [BLEEP] ARE

這傢伙就像晴朗的天空，他只是喜歡什麼[BLEEP]是。

YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT.

你在說什麼？

(LAUGHTER) NOW AS A PART OF THEIR

(笑)現在，作為他們的一部分。

PRESENTATION TODAY THE HOUSE IMPEACHMENT MANAGERS ALSO

今天發言的還有眾議院執行經理。

PRESENTED PREVIOUSLY UNSEEN CAPITOL SECURITY FOOTAGE AULD

以前未見過的首都安全錄像帶的介紹。

WEIRD WHEN A VIOLENT INSURRECTION HAS A DIRECTOR'S

當一個暴力的保險公司有一個董事的時候，就很奇怪了

CUT.

切：

A LOT OF REPUBLICANS SAW THE NEW FOOT AGE AND WERE LIKE WOW, THIS

很多共和黨人看到新的腳步時代，並想哇，這一點。

IS REALLY HORRIFYING I'M NOT GOING TO CHANGE MY VOTE BUT

是真的很可怕，我不會改變我的投票，但。

YAIKS, MEANWHILE OVER ON TEAM TRUMP IT WAS REVEALED THAT THE

是的，在特朗普的團隊中，有人透露說

FORMER PRESIDENT'S THIRD IMPEACHMENT LAWYER MICHAEL VAN

前總統的第三任執行律師MICHAEL VAN.

DER VEEN TULLY SUED TRUMP LAST YEAR AND ONCE REFERRED TO HIM AS

DER VEEN TULLY去年起訴了特朗普，並曾經稱他為 "DER VEEN TULLY"。

A QUOTE [BLEEP] CROOK I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MICHAEL VAN DER

一句話："我等不及要見米歇爾-範-德爾"。

VEEN'S CLOSING STATEMENTS.

維恩的閉幕詞。

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WILL THE EVIDENCE SHOW THAT THIS [BLEEP]

女士們，先生們，證據是否會顯示，這[嗶]。

CROOK IS COMPLETELY INNOCENT.

克勞克是完全無辜的。

TRUMP KEAPS HIRING PEOPLE WHO HATE HIM, DOESN'T HE.

特朗普僱傭的人誰恨他，不是嗎。

LET ME GIVE YOU A PIECE OF ADVICE, TRUMP, EVEN THOUGH YOU

讓我給你一個忠告，特朗普，即使你...

ARE PAYING THEM, ARE YOU NOT GOING TO ONE THEM OVER.

你付給他們錢，你不打算把他們打倒。

I LEARNED THAT WITH GE AIR MOW.

我學的是GE空氣割草。

WE'RE FRIENDS I THINK, AREN'T WE?

我想我們是朋友，對吧？

GEE AIR ME-- GUILLERMO ACTUALLY GIFTED ME, HE GAVE ME A GIFT AND

GEE AIR ME -- GuILLERMO實際上給我的禮物，他給我的禮物和

I WORE IT ALL THIS WEEKEND.

這個週末我都穿了。

>> IS THAT RIGHT.

>> 是這樣嗎。

>> YEAH, PAIR OF SHORT, SWEATER AND SOME SOCKS HE GOT ME.

>> 是啊，一雙短褲，運動衫和一些襪子，他給我。

>> LOVELY.

>> 可愛的。

>> James: YEAH, A GROUP OF BREAT GUYS.

>> 詹姆斯。是的，一組呼吸的傢伙。

>> WELL, WERE YOU COMMENTED ON SOMETHING THAT I WAS WEARING.

>> 你是不是對我穿的衣服做了評論。

>> James: YEAH.

>> 詹姆斯。YEAH.

>> AN I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE COOL FOR YOU TO ALSO HAVE SOMETHING

>> 我覺得你也有一些東西可能會很好。

FROM THE SAME DESIGNER.

來自同一個設計師。

>> James: AND IT WAS TOTALLY COOL.

>> 詹姆斯。它是完全涼爽。

AND I ACTUALLY BUY IT AND I'M GOING TO BUY SOME MORE.

我真的買了它，我要去買更多的。

>> GO, THAT IS COOL LIKE THAT.

>> 去，那是很酷的喜歡。

>> James: I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

>> 詹姆斯。我會看到你以後。

HERE'S SOME OTHER NEWS, NOW IF YOU DON'T HAVE A VALENTINE LINED

這裡有一些其他的新聞，現在，如果你沒有一個情人節襯托的。

UP QUITE YET HERE'S AN ONLINE DATING TIP FOR YOU, IN A NEW

起來，但這裡有一個在線約會技巧，為你，在一個新的。

STUDY RESEARCHERS FOUND THAT WOMEN WERE MORE ATTRACTED TO MEN

研究人員發現，女性對男性的吸引力更大。

WHO USED FUNNY INTRODUCTIONS ON DATING APPS RATHER THAN THOSE

誰使用有趣的介紹在約會的APP上，而不是那些。

WHO USED COMPLIMENTS.

誰使用了補充物。

YEAH, JOKES, THAT IS WHAT SEPARATES THE CORDS

是啊，開玩笑，這就是分開的東西的CORDS。

FROM-- CORDENS FROM THE DICAPRIOS, AND THIS WAS

從... ... 從DICAPRIOS的CORDENS，這是

INTERESTING, THE STUDY ALSO REVEALED THAT THE THING MOST

有趣的是，該研究還揭示了最重要的事情

WOMEN FOUND ATTRACTIVE IN MEN IS THIS IF THEY WERE SUPERHOT.

女人發現男人的吸引力是這樣的，如果他們是超級熱門。

AND THIS IS EXCITING.

這是令人興奮的。

THE WORLD'S FIRST 3D BIO PRINTED RIB EYE STEAK WAS JUST UNVEILED.

世界上第一個3D生物打印的RIBEYE STEAK剛剛發佈。

THE STEAK IS MADE OUT OF LAB GROWN MEAT AND IS COMPLETELY

牛排是由實驗室培育的肉類製成，完全不含任何添加劑。

CRUELTIY FREE.

殘酷無情。

LOOK AT THAT, AMAZING.

看看這個，太棒了。

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.

值得思考的問題

THIS VALENTINE'S DAY.

這個情人節。

WOMEN LOVE IT WHEN A MAN PRINTS OUT A DINNER FOR HER.

女人喜歡男人為她打印出晚餐。

THIS WILL MAKE THINGS COMPLICATED THOUGH, NOW YOU HAVE

這將使事情變得複雜起來，現在你有了

TO BUY INC. CART RIDGES IN BLACK, COLOR AND HICKORY SMOKE.

購買公司。黑色、彩色和山核桃色煙霧車。

3D PRINTED STEAKS, SO NOW WHEN YOU GIVE YOUR COMPLIMENTED TO

3D打印的麥片，所以現在當你把你的委託交給

THE CHEF IT WILL LOOK LIKE THIS.

廚師，它將看起來像這樣。

THAT IS EXACTLY THE LAUGH THAT DESERVES.

這正是應該得到的笑聲。

THAT IS EXACTLY THE LAUGH IT DESERVES.

這正是它應該得到的笑聲。

WINNIE AT LEAST GIVE A LAUGH, ALEX JUST WENT--

WINNIE至少要笑一笑，ALEX剛剛去... ...

(LAUGHTER) HE WASN'T LOOK THINKING YOU ARE

他並不覺得你是... ...

BETTER THAN THAT, JAMES, SHE WAS THINKING I'M BETTER THAN THIS.

比這更好，詹姆斯，她認為我比這更好。

AND FINALLY THE SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONSES THE TAMPA BAY

最後是超級碗冠軍 坦帕灣隊

BUCCANEERS HELD THEIR VICTORY PARADE TODAY OUT ON THE WATER.

布坎德人今天在水上舉行了勝利遊行。

HAVE A LOOK AT THEM HERE CELEBRATING AT ONE POINT TOM

請看他們在這裡慶祝在一個點上的TOM

BRADY TOSSED THE LOMBARD-- LOMBARDI TROPHY FROM

布萊德扔掉了倫巴第--來自倫巴第的獎盃。

HIS BOAT TO ANOTHER BOAT.

他的船到另一艘船。

>> BIG OLD BOAT PARADE, WAIT, WAIT, DON'T, DON'T, NO!

>> 大老船遊行，等一下，等一下，不要，不要，不要！

OKAY.

好的。

TOUCHDOWN.

TOUCHDOWN。

>> James: THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW HAVE YOU WON TOO MANY SUPER

>> 詹姆斯。那就是你知道你贏了太多的超級英雄了

BOWLS.

碗。

WHEN YOU'RE LIKE IT TBOAS IN THE WATER, WE'LL JUST GET ANOTHER

當你在水裡喜歡的時候，我們就會得到另一個。

ONE NEXT YEAR.

明年一。

COME ON.

來吧。

NOW OBVIOUSLY SOME DAY DRINKING WAS INVOLVED BECAUSE HERE IS THE

現在，很明顯，某天的飲酒是有原因的，因為這裡是。

BRILLIANT TOM BRADY BEING LEAD AWAY AFTER THE BOAT PARADE.

TOM BRADY在船隊遊行後被領走了，真不錯。

HE ONLY HAD ONE GLASS OF CHARDONNAY.

他只喝了一杯夏敦埃酒。

IT JUST HITS HARDER, YOU KNOW, WHEN ARE YOU OLDER.

只是當你老了以後，會更難受，你知道嗎？

DOESN'T IT.

難道不是嗎。

IT JUST GOES TO SHOW, YOU CAN BE ONE OF THE MOST ACCOMPLISHED

這只是證明，你可以成為最成功的人之一。

ATHLETES EVER BUT ONCE YOU MOVE TO FLORIDA, IT DE FINES YOU.

但一旦你搬到佛羅里達州，它就會懲罰你。