TODAY, HUGE, MASSIVE!

今天，巨大的，巨大的！

YOU AMERICANS LOVE THIS DAY FOR SOME REASON.

你們美國人愛這一天是有原因的。

OF COURSE, I'M TALKING ABOUT GROUNDHOG DAY.

當然，我說的是土撥鼠日。

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SEE?

（歡呼聲和掌聲）看到了嗎？

REG, HOW IN THE WORLD HAS THIS TRADITION HELD ON?

REG，這個世界上的傳統是怎麼堅持下來的？

>> Reggie: WELL, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF IT WAS -- YOU KNOW, IT

>> 好吧，你知道，很多事情都是...

HAPPENED A LONG TIME AGO, THE TRADITION OF -- YOU KNOW,

很久以前，傳統的... ...你知道的。

HAPPENED IN PUNXSUTAWNEY, THERE WAS A GROUNDHOG, AND IF IT SAW

發生在PUNXSUTAWNEY，有一個土撥鼠，如果它看到了

ITS SHADOW, IT MEANT ONE OF THE WAYS OF SPRING WAS GOING TO BE

它的影子，意味著春天的方式之一將是。

LATE OR EARLY, BUT IT WAS REALLY ENFORCED BY THE MOVIE

晚了還是早了，但它真的被電影執行了。

"GROUNDHOGS DAY" STARRING BILL MURRAY.

"土撥鼠日"，由比爾-穆雷主演。

>> James: YES.

>> 詹姆斯。是的。

I WANT TO BE CLEAR HERE, THE MOVIE IS A MASTERPIECE.

我想在這裡說清楚，這部電影是一部傑作。

( LAUGHTER ) THAT SHOULD UPHOLD TRADITION

（笑），應該堅持傳統。

TILL THE END OF TIME.

直到時間的盡頭。

BUT THE ACTUAL TRADITION OF THE GROUNDHOG, THE PEOPLE ARE

但是，土撥鼠的實際傳統，人民是。

GENUINELY INTO IT.

真正的進入它。

THEY'RE, OH, WE'LL FIND OUT TOMORROW WHAT THE GROUNDHOG

他們是，哦，我們會發現明天的土撥鼠是什麼。

SAYS.

說：

I HAVE A THEORY, AND THAT'S WHETHER OR NOT THE GROUNDHOG

我有一個理論，那就是無論土撥鼠是否會出現

SEES HIS SHADOW, THE SAME THING HAPPENS.

看到他的影子，同樣的事情發生。

JUST A THEORY.

只是一個理論。

I CAN'T PROVE IT.

我不能證明這一點。

IT'S MY THEORY.

這是我的理論。

MOVING ON, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE HEADLINES TODAY.

繼續，讓我們來看看今天的頭條新聞。

TODAY WAS THE DEADLINE FOR RAMP TO FILE.

今天是RAMP提交文件的最後期限。

TRUMP IS NO LONGER PRESIDENT, AND LAWYERS WILL BE ARGUING THAT

特朗普不再是總統，律師們將會爭辯說

THE TRIAL IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL.

審判是違反憲法的。

I'M GOING TO USE THIS THE NEXT TIME A COP PULLS ME OVER.

我要用這個下次警察把我拉過來的時候。

I'M GONNA BE LIKE, "WELL, I'M NO LONGER SPEEDING.

我會很喜歡，"好吧，我不長的速度。

I WAS, I'M NOT NOW.

我以前是，現在不是了。

THEREFORE, THIS TICKET IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL."

是以，這個票是不符合憲法的。"

( LAUGHTER ) AND I KNOW SOMEHOW WEIRDLY YOU

（笑） 我知道有些奇怪的你，

DON'T HAVE TO, BUT CAN YOU PUT A MASK ON BECAUSE YOU'RE QUITE

不需要，但你能不能戴上面具，因為你很好。

CLOSE TO MY WINDOW.

關閉我的窗口。

( LAUGHTER ) THIS ALL COMES AFTER TRUMP'S

（笑）這一切都在特朗普的之後，

PREVIOUS LEGAL TEAM QUIT OVER THE WEEKEND.

上一個法律小組在週末退出。

AND ACCORDING TO NEW REPORTS IT WAS MORE THAN JUST A

根據新的報告，這不僅僅是一個。

DIFFERENCE IN APPROACH.

方法上的差異。

TRUMP AND HIS LAWYERS ALSO HAD DISAGREEMENTS OVER HOW MUCH HE

特朗普和他的律師們也對他在多大程度上有分歧。

WAS GOING TO PAY THEM.

本來要付給他們的。

THAT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE THE DONALD TRUMP I KNOW.

這聽起來不像是我認識的唐納德-特朗普。

( LAUGHTER ) THERE WAS A DISAGREEMENT OVER

曾經有一個分歧，就是......

MONEY.

錢：

THE LAWYERS WANTED $3 MILLION, WHEREAS TRUMP WANTED TO PAY THEM

律師們想要300萬美金，而特朗普卻想付給他們。

NOTHING AND THEN MAKE FUN OF THEM ON CABLE NEWS.

什麼都沒有，然後在有線新聞上取笑他們。

( LAUGHTER ) AND DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS?

（笑），你們看到了嗎？

PRESIDENT BIDEN IS NOW LOOKING INTO REVOKING TRUMP'S ACCESS TO

比登總統現在正考慮重新審查特朗普的訪問權限。

INTELLIGENCE BRIEFINGS, A COURTESY TRADITIONALLY GIVEN TO

智力簡報，傳統上給人的禮節。

EX-PRESIDENTS.

前任主席：

REVOKING DONALD TRUMP'S ACCESS TO INTELLIGENCE BRIEFINGS.

撤銷唐納德-特朗普對情報簡報的訪問。

THAT'S LIKE REVOKING A DOLPHIN'S ACCESS TO AN XBOX.

這就像撤銷海豚的訪問XBOX。

( LAUGHTER ) BY THE WAY, TRUMP FAMOUSLY

順便說一句，特朗普很喜歡。

SKIPPED INTELLIGENCE BRIEFINGS WHEN HE WAS PRESIDENT OF THE

在他擔任美國總統期間，跳過了情報簡報。

UNITED STATES.

美國：

SO THIS WOULD BE LIKE IF I GOT FIRED FROM THIS JOB AND PEOPLE

所以，這就像如果我被解僱了這份工作，而人們。

WERE, LIKE, SORRY, JAMES, YOU CAN NO LONGER GO INTO STU'S

我們，喜歡，對不起，詹姆斯，你不能再去STU的。

OFFICE.

辦公室：

( LAUGHTER ) AND I WOULD BE, LIKE, RIGHT,

（笑），我將是，喜歡，正確的。

WHO'S STU?

誰是STU？

SOME BIG NEWS FROM THE WORLD OF TECH.

科技界的一些重大新聞。

EARLIER THIS AFTERNOON, JEFF BEZOS ANNOUNCED THAT, EFFECTIVE

今天早些時候，傑夫-貝佐斯宣佈，從今天下午開始，從今天下午開始。

THIS SUMMER, HE WILL BE STEPPING DOWN AS C.E.O. OF AMAZON.

今年夏天，他將卸任AMAZON的首席執行官。

>> Reggie: YES!

>> 雷吉：是的!

>> James: YES.

>> 詹姆斯。是的。

I WONDER WHAT HE'LL DO FOR MONEY.

我想知道他為了錢會做什麼。

( LAUGHTER ) BEZOS WILL BE STAYING ON UNTIL

BEZOS將一直持續到現在。

SUMMER.

夏季：

ON HIS FINAL DAY, HE'LL BE BOXED UP, COVERED IN PACKING PEANUTS,

在他的最後一天，他將會被裝在盒子裡，蓋在包裝花生上。

AND DROPPED ON HIS FAMILY'S DOORSTEP.

摔在他家人的門階上。

( LAUGHTER ) AND THAT'S NOT THE ONLY AMAZON

（笑），這不是唯一的亞馬遜。

-- AM I SAYING IT RIGHT, BEZOS?

-- 我說的對嗎，貝佐斯？

>> Reggie: BEZOS.

>> BEZOS。

>> James: BEZOS.

>> 詹姆斯。BEZOS：

>> Reggie: BEZOS.

>> BEZOS。

>> James: BEZOS.

>> 詹姆斯。BEZOS：

BEZOS.

BEZOS：

>> James: BEZOS.

>> 詹姆斯。BEZOS：

THAT'S NOT THE ONLY AMAZON NEWS TODAY.

這不是今天唯一的亞馬遜新聞。

THE TECH GIANT ALSO UNVEILED THE DESIGN FOR ITS NEW $2.5 BILLION

科技巨頭也公佈了其價值250億美元的新產品的設計。

HEADQUARTERS IN NORTHERN VIRGINIA, WHICH WILL FEATURE A

位於弗吉尼亞州北部的總部，將設有一個新的辦公地點。

350-FOOT-TALL TOWER CALLED THE HELIX.

350英尺高的大廈被稱為HELIX。

HERE IT IS HERE.

在這裡，它在這裡。

LOOK AT THAT.

看看這個。

IT LOOKS LIKE A GIANT SOFT-SERVE ICE CREAM MADE OF GLASS, AND FOR

它看起來就像一個巨大的玻璃軟糖冰淇淋，併為您提供了一個巨大的軟糖冰淇淋。

THAT REASON ALONE, I'M FOR IT.

僅僅因為這個原因，我支持它。

( LAUGHTER ) LOOK AT THE OTHER BUILDINGS

看看其他的建築物

AROUND IT HERE.

圍繞這裡。

EVEN IN THE ARTIST'S RENDERING, THOSE OTHER BUILDINGS LOOK LIKE

即使在藝術家的描繪中，這些其他的建築看起來也像是

THEY'RE TOTALLY GOSSIPPING ABOUT THIS NEW SWIRLY TOWER.

他們對這個新的斯維爾利塔完全是胡說八道。

LOOK AT THIS GUY, WHO THE HELL DULLS HE THINK HE IS?

看看這傢伙，誰是他的傻瓜，他認為他是？

AMAZON'S NEW HEADQUARTERS WILL ALSO HAVE AN OUTDOOR

AMAZON的新總部也將有一個戶外的空間。

AMPHITHEATER, A DOG RUN, AND PARKING FOR ALMOST 1,000 BIKES.

擴音器，狗跑，以及停放約1000輛自行車。

NO LIVING WAGES FOR WAREHOUSE EMPLOYEES, BUT-- AGAIN-- A DOG

倉庫員工沒有生活費，但是... ...又是一條狗。

RUN!

快跑！

( LAUGHTER ) JEFF BEZOS CALLED HERE AND SAID

傑夫-貝佐斯給這裡打電話說

I WANT TO WORK HERE ON "THE LATE LATE SHOW," WOULD WE GIVE HIM A

我想在 "遲來的晚間秀 "上工作，我們能不能給他一個機會？

JOB?

JOB?

>> 100%.

>> 100%.

>> James: YEAH?

>> 詹姆斯。YEAH？

WOULD BE GREAT TO HAVE JEFF BEZOS WORK HERE.

如果能讓JEFF BEZOS在這裡工作就好了。

>> James: THERE YOU GO.

>> 詹姆斯。你去那裡。

THINGS ARE LOOKING UP ALREADY.

事情已經開始好轉了。

WHAT WOULD YOU YOU DO?

你會怎麼做？

>> SCRIPT COORDINATOR?

>> 腳本協調人？

>> James: DO YOU THINK?

>> 詹姆斯。你覺得呢？

( LAUGHTER ) DO YOU THINK?

你覺得呢？

DO YOU THINK?

你覺得呢？

>> MARKETING, MAYBE?

>> 營銷，可能嗎？

>> James: YEAH, I THINK I WOULD GIVE HIM A JOB.

>> 詹姆斯。是的，我想我會給他一份工作。

LISTEN, JEFF, WE'LL FIND SOMETHING FOR YOU.

聽著，JEFF，我們會找到一些東西給你。

ALL RIGHT?

沒事吧？

THE DOOR'S NOT CLOSED.

門沒有關上。

ARE THERE ANY OTHER LATE NIGHT SHOW BEING OPEN WITH JEFF

還有沒有其他深夜節目要和JEFF一起開播？

TONIGHT?

今晚？

>> NO.

>> NO.

START AS A P.A.

開始成為P.A.

>> James: HE'S GOT TO WORK HIS WAY UP.

>> 詹姆斯。他必須努力向上。

BEZOS, GET ME A CUP OF COFFEE NOW!

貝佐斯，給我一杯咖啡！

SWIRLING AROUND HERE WITH HIS MUSCLES.

在這裡與他的肌肉旋轉。

HE IS RIPPED.

他被撕毀。

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN HIS ARMS?

你見過他的手臂嗎？

( LAUGHTER ) AND THIS IS PRETTY COOL.

（笑），這是非常酷的。

NIKE HAS JUST ANNOUNCED A NEW KIND OF SHOE.

NIKE剛剛宣佈了一款新的鞋款。

IT'S A NO-LACE, SLIP-ON SNEAKER THAT DOES NOT REQUIRE THE USE OF

這是一款不需要使用鞋帶的無鞋帶、可穿戴的運動鞋。

HANDS TO PUT ON AND TAKE OFF.

穿上和脫下的手。

TAKE A LOOK.

看看吧

THERE THEY ARE, LOOK AT THAT.

他們在那裡，看那個。

EASY ON, EASY OFF.

輕鬆開啟，輕鬆關閉。

>> Reggie: I WANT IT NOW.

>> 我現在就要。

>> James: EASY OFF.

>> 詹姆斯。EASY OFF。

LOOK AT THAT.

看看這個。

>> Reggie: GREAT.

>> 雷吉：好極了。

>> James: GOOD IDEA.

>> 詹姆斯。好主意。

NOW DO PANTS.

現在做褲子。

( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S ALL I WOULD EVER WANT.

（笑）這就是我永遠想要的。

THAT'S WHAT BEZOS SHOULD BE WORKING ON RIGHT NOW, A PAIR OF

這就是貝佐斯現在要做的事，一連串的工作。

PANTS YOU DON'T HAVE TO PICK UP TO PUT THEM ON AND OFF.

不用拿起褲子就能穿脫的褲子。

LAY THEM ON THE FLOOR AND YOU JUST SORT OF SIT AND THEY --

把它們放在地板上，你只是坐著，他們 --

YEAH.

是的。

( LAUGHTER ) I FEEL THESE AREN'T GOING TO

我覺得這些都是不會的

WORK.

工作。

I FEEL YOU WILL STILL BE USING ONE FINGER.

我覺得你還會用一根手指頭。

YOU WILL STILL BE, LIKE, OH, MY THING'S CAUGHT.

你還是會，喜歡，哦，我的東西被發現了。

WAIT ONE MINUTE, GUYS, I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO USE YOUR

等一下，夥計們，我知道你不應該使用你的。

HANDS BUT THIS GOT CAUGHT.

手，但這被抓住了。

AND THAT'S ALL IT WILL BE.

這就是它的全部。

YOU WANT A PAIR OF THESE, DO YOU, REG?

你想要一雙這樣的，是嗎，雷吉？

>> Reggie: SO BAD.

>> 雷吉：太壞了。

I HATE LACES.

我討厭蕾絲。

>> James: THE THING WITH THESE SNEAKERS THAT SLIP ON AND OFF,

>> 詹姆斯：那些穿上和脫下的運動鞋的事情。

WEAR THEM, DON'T, DOESN'T CARE WHAT KIND OF SHOES YOU'RE

穿上它們，不，不在乎你是什麼類型的鞋子。

WEARING, I'M STILL DUNKING YOUR ASS WHEN WE GET ON THE BB

穿著，我還是會在我們上場的時候把你的屁股打爛的。

COURSE.

課程：

( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW THAT'S A FACT.

（笑）你知道這是一個事實。

I'M A BORN BALLER.

我是一個天生的球手。

I'M LIKE WHAT'S HIS NAME, YOKICH.

我想他叫什麼名字，YOKICH。

>> LUKADANTICH.

>> 盧卡丹蒂奇。

>> James: THAT'S THE ONE.

>> 詹姆斯。就是這個。

THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

這就是我說的。

WOULD YOU GO 100% VELCRO?

你會選擇100%的VELCRO嗎？

I WORRY ABOUT VELCRO ON THE WAISTBAND.

我擔心腰帶上的尼龍帶。

I DON'T WANT TO BE SITTING DOWN AND TALKING TO SOMEONE AND

我不想坐下來和別人說話，然後。

HEAR -- ( SCRATCHING )

聽到 - （SCRATCHING）

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

你知道我的意思嗎？

SIT DOWN TO DINNER.

坐下來吃飯。

YOU WANT DESSERTS?

你想吃甜點嗎？

YEAH, YOU'RE DIGGING IN AND TALKING ON AND THEN JUST --

是的，你在挖地三尺，說著說著就... ...

( SCRATCHING SOUND ) ( LAUGHTER )

（劃痕的聲音）（笑）。

AND THEY'RE, LIKE, WE SHOULD HEAD OFF YOU GUYS GO.

而他們，就像，我們應該離開你們去。

I'LL MEET YOU OUT THERE.

我會在那裡見到你。

AAAHHH!

AAAHH!

AAAHHH!

AAAHH!

>> Reggie: THAT'S TOUGH.

>> 艱難的。

>> James: AND DID EVERYBODY SEE THIS?

>> 詹姆斯。大家都看到了嗎？

THE TEXAS DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY RECENTLY ISSUED AN AMBER

德州公共安全部最近發佈了 "警報"。

ALERT FOR A MISSING CHILD THAT WAS A BIT UNUSUAL, AND WE THINK

孩子失蹤的警報，有點不尋常，我們認為...

YOU'LL SEE WHY.

你會知道原因的

HERE'S THE VERY REAL MESSAGE THAT WENT OUT, WE'RE NOT

這裡是非常真實的資訊，發出了，我們不是。

KIDDING.

開玩笑。

IT WAS FOR CHUCKY, FROM THE "CHILD'S PLAY" HORROR FILMS.

這是給 "兒童遊戲 "恐怖片裡的丘基的。

IT WAS A JOKE FOR INTERNAL TESTING PURPOSES, AND THEY

這是一個內部測試目的的笑話，而他們。

ACCIDENTALLY SENT IT OUT STATEWIDE.

意外地把它發到了全州。

HERE'S HOW YOU KNOW IT WAS A JOKE: IF SOMEBODY REALLY

以下是你如何知道這是一個笑話：如果有人真的。

KIDNAPPED CHUCKY, CHUCKY'S NOT THE ONE WE SHOULD BE WORRIED

綁架了丘基，丘基不是我們應該擔心的那個人。

ABOUT.

關於.

AND THIS WAS A SURPRISE, THE ALERT SAID CHUCKY IS

這是一個驚喜，警報說CHUCKY是。

28-YEARS-OLD.

28歲。

LOOK AT THAT.

看看這個。

IF THAT'S TRUE, IT'S TIME TO START GOING BY "CHARLES."

如果這是真的，它的時間開始去 "查爾斯"。

( LAUGHTER ) AND FINALLY, WE HAVE TO GET

最後，我們必須讓

SERIOUS HERE FOR A MOMENT.

認真在這裡一會兒。

YESTERDAY AFTERNOON, PRANKSTERS CHANGED TWO LETTERS ON THE

今天中午，普朗克斯特斯改變了兩個字母，上了一個。

FAMOUS "HOLLYWOOD" SIGN, SO THE SIGN READ "HOLLYBOOB."

著名的 "HOLLYWOOD "招牌，所以招牌上寫著 "HOLLYBOOB"。

( LAUGHTER ) YEAH.

（笑）是啊。

AT LEAST SIX PEOPLE WERE DETAINED, AND IMMEDIATELY

至少有六人被拘留，並立即被逮捕

HIGH-FIVED.

擊掌。

CAN WE LOOK AT THAT AGAIN?

我們能再看一遍嗎？

IN MY OPINION, THEY COULD HAVE SPENT A LITTLE MORE TIME ON THAT

在我看來，他們本可以花更多的時間在這上面。

IF YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO SEE IT THROUGH.

如果你真的要去看它通過，

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

你知道我的意思嗎？

YOU'VE GOT TO EAT DOOR IT OR DON'T.

你必須吃門，否則就不要吃。

THEY WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF GOING TO KINKO'S AND PRINTING

他們經歷了去KINKO'S和打印的麻煩。

OUT A FULL TARP FOR THE FIRST "B."

為第一個 "B "出了一個全額擔保金。

DIDN'T PUT IT UP COMPLETELY RIGHT.

沒有把它完全正確的。

BUT BY THE SECOND ONE, THEY WERE JUST LIKE "LET'S JUST PUT A DASH

但到了第二場，他們就像 "讓我們來個一箭雙鵰"。

THROUGH THE 'D' AND CALL IT A DAY."

通過'D'，然後收工。"

( LAUGHTER ) AND IT TURNS OUT THE PRANKSTERS

（笑），它原來是普朗克斯特人

ARE OPERATING ON BOTH COASTS.

在兩岸經營。

YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT THEY JUST DID IN NEW YORK CITY.

你應該看看他們在紐約市做了什麼。

RADIO CITY MUSIC BALLS.

無線電城市音樂球。

( LAUGHTER )

（笑）