OLIVER, STAR OF "JOHN OLIVER IS ON TV THIS WEEK."

"約翰・奧利弗本週上電視 "的明星奧利弗。

JOHN OLIVER.

約翰・奧利弗：

SO ENGLAND HAS THE PREMIERE LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP OVER THERE,

所以，英格蘭有頂級聯賽冠軍在那裡。

AND OVER THE SUMMER, THEY HAD THEIR WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP THAT

夏天的時候，他們拿到了世界冠軍賽的冠軍

THE ALL WHOLE WORLD PLAYS IN, RIGHT?

整個世界都在玩，對吧？

OR WAS IS THAT JUST IN-- IT WAS JUST GREAT BRITAIN PLAYING EACH

還是說... ...只是英國人在玩弄對方。

OTHER?

其他？

>> THAT'S THE WORLD CUP.

>> 這就是世界盃。

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE WORLD CUP THERE.

你說的是世界盃的事。

>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW.

>> 史蒂芬：我不知道。

>> YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW.

>> 你真的不知道。

>> Stephen: I'M TRYING TO BE NICE.

>> 史蒂芬：我是想做個好人。

I'M JUST TRYING TO BE NICE, MAN.

我只是想做個好人，夥計。

>> YOU KNOW SOMETHING -- >> Stephen: CROSS-PLATFORM

>> 你知道些什麼 -- >> Stephen: CROSS-PLATFORM.

SYNERGY.

SYNERGY.

>> THEY DON'T KEEP YOU UP AT NIGHT WE'RE GOING LIVE AFTER THE

>> 他們不會讓你晚上睡不著覺，我們會在現場直播。

WORLD CUP.

世界盃。

SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THAT AND MENTION BUDWEISER.

說點什麼吧，並提到布威瑟。

THEY DON'T SAY THAT TO YOU?

他們不對你說嗎？

>> NOT YET.

>> 還沒有。

BUT THANKS FOR GIVING THEM THE IDEA.

但是，謝謝你給他們的想法。

WHO KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS ON PARAMOUNT-PLUS.

誰知道PARAMOUNT -PLUS上會發生什麼？

THAT'S ALL ANYONE IS TALKING ABOUT.

這就是大家都在談論的。

THAT'S IT.

這就是它。

THAT'S THE NATIONAL CONVERSATION.

這就是全國性的對話。

MOST OF MY MONOLOGUE TONIGHT WAS ABOUT PARAMOUNT-PLUS.

我今晚的大部分獨白都是關於PARAMOUNT -PLUS。

OH, THE IMPEACHMENT.

哦，赦免。

LAST YEAR, YOU WERE HAPPY BECAUSE YOUR SERIES DIDN'T START

去年，你很高興，因為你的系列沒有開始。

UNTIL AFTER IMPEACHMENT WAS OVER, RIGHT?

直到執行結束後，對不對？

IT WAS OVER AT THIS POINT LAST YEAR, SO YOU MISSED THE WHOLE

去年這個時候已經結束了，所以你錯過了整個過程。

THING.

事情。

BUT NOW THEY CAME IN, THEY JUST SNAGGED YOU AT THE END.

但現在他們進來了，他們只是在最後抓住了你。

DID YOU WATCH ANY OF THE PROCEEDINGS TODAY?

你看了今天的庭審嗎？

>> I'VE JUST-- I'VE JUST BEEN CATCHING UP ON IT.

>> 我只是... ... 我只是在追尋它。

AND IT SEEMED LIKE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE NOTHING, RIGHT?

它看起來像它應該是什麼都沒有，對不對？

>> Stephen: RIGHT, IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE JUST

>> Stephen:是的，它應該是公正的

PARLIAMENTARY PROCEDURE OR ARGUING OVER THE

訴訟程序或對《公約》進行仲裁的程序

CONSTITUTIONALITY-- SUPER CRY.

憲政... ...超級大哭。

>> IT WAS A PERFECT ECHO OF THE TRUMP PRESIDENCY-- SOMETHING

>> 這是一個完美的回聲 特朗普的總統--一些事情。

THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE NOTHING IS MADE VERY MUCH SOMETHING.

原本應該是什麼都沒有的東西，卻被做成了非常多的東西。

I GATHER THAT THE FIRST LAWYER ENGAGED IN THE KIND OF

我認為，第一個從事這種活動的律師

FREE-STYLE BEAT POETRY FOR A WHILE.

自由風格的節拍詩歌一段時間。

>> Stephen: I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST TRYING TO RUN OUT THE

>> 我以為他只是想跑出去。

CLOCK.

時鐘：

HE WAS LIKE, "OKAY, I GOT TO DO AT LEAST AN HOUR HERE.

他想，"好吧，我得做 至少一個小時在這裡，

YOU KNOW, THE ANCIENT GREEKS WERE VERY...

你知道，古希臘人非常... ...

GOOD WITH THE...

好與...

AND WHO CAN FORGET HOW THE ROMANS DID IT."

誰能忘記羅馬人是怎麼做到的呢？"

>> MAYBE HE HAD A STAGE MANAGER LIKE YOU'VE GOT MARK JUST

>> 也許他有一個舞臺經理，就像你有馬克一樣。

STANDING BEHIND THE CAMERA GOING, "YOU HAVE TO GO.

站在攝影機後面說："你必須得走了。

YOU HAVE TO GO LONGER."

你必須走得更久。"

>> Stephen: WHAT PEOPLE DON'T KNOW IS MY STAGE MANAGER IS YOUR

>> 史蒂芬: 人們不知道的是，我的舞臺經理就是你的舞臺經理。

STAGE MANAGER.

舞臺經理：

BUT HE DOESN'T DO THIS FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE GUESTS.

但他不會為你做這些，因為你沒有客人。

>> YEAH,■ç THAT'S TRUE.

>> 是啊，■ç這是真的。

>> Stephen: RIGHT NOW, RIGHT NOW, MARK IS GOING...

>> Stephen:現在，現在，馬克要去... ...

>> HE DOES THE OPPOSITE.

>> 他做的恰恰相反。

HE GOES LIKE THIS.

他走這樣的。

"GO FASTER.

"走得更快。

GO FASTER.

更快。

GO FASTER."

走得更快。"

LIKE A JOCKEY.

就像一個JOCKEY。

"GO, GO, GO.33 TALK FASTER."

"走，走，走，走。33說話更快。"

>> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT THAT SMALL.

>> 你不是那麼小。

YOU'RE NOT JOHN CEENA, BUT YOU'RE NOT A JOCKEY.

你不是約翰-塞納，但你不是個小丑。

HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT.

有一些自尊。

>> NO, MARK IS THE JOCKEY.

>> 不，馬克就是那把鑰匙。

I'M THE HORSE.

我是馬。

>> Stephen: OH, HE'S THE JOCKEY.

>> 史蒂芬：哦，他是JOCKEY。

>> HE'S THE JOCKEY.

>> 他是JOCKEY。

>> Stephen: OKAY, SEASON STARTS SUNDAY.

>> 史蒂芬：好的，本賽季開始於週日。

VALENTINE'S DAY.

情人節。

>> YES.

>> 是。

>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE-- WOULD YOU RECOMMEND YOUR SHOW

>> 史蒂芬：你有--你會推薦你的節目嗎？

FOR A FIRST DATE?

第一次約會？

>> I MEAN, I WOULD-- IT DEPENDS.

>> 我的意思是，我想 -- 這取決於。

I WOULD RECOMMEND IT FOR A LAST DATE.

我會推薦它的最後一次約會。

THAT'S FOR SURE.

這是肯定的。

VALENTINE'S DAY IS NOT JUST FOR PEOPLE IN HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS.

情人節不只是為人們在幸福的關係。

IT'S ALSO FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO FIND A WAY TO GET OUT OF A

它也適用於那些想找到方法擺脫困境的人。

RELATIONSHIP.

關係：

AND I DON'T THINK THERE'S A CLEANER WAY OUT OF A

我想沒有比這更乾淨的辦法了。

RELATIONSHIP THAN SAYING, "LET'S SIT DOWN AND ENJOY THE ROMANTIC

比起說 "讓我們坐下來享受浪漫"，我們的關係更加親密。

STYLINGS OF 'LAST WEEK TONIGHT' ON HBO.

"最後一個星期TONIGHT "在HBO的風格。

YOU WANT TO GET OUT?

你想出去嗎？

I'LL GET YOU OUT."

我會讓你出來的。"

>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A ROMANTIC SUBJECT THIS WEEK OR DO

>> 史蒂芬: 本週你有一個浪漫的主題嗎？

YOU NOT KNOW YET?

你還不知道嗎？

IS IT STILL COOKING?

還在煮嗎？

>> I LIKE TO THINK THAT EVERY-- EVERY SUBJECT WE TOUCH ON HAS A

>> 我喜歡認為，每一個... 每一個我們接觸的主題都有一個...

KIND OF ROMANTIC TO IT, WOULD YOU NOT AGREE WITH THAT?

有點浪漫的感覺，你不同意嗎？

>> Stephen: SURE, SURE.

>> Stephen: SURE, SURE.

>> THERE'S A KIND OF I THINK SEXUAL TENSION CRACKLING THROUGH

>> 有一種我認為是性緊張的裂縫通過。

ANY STORY THAT WE DO.

我們做的任何故事。

SO I CERTAINLY HOPE THAT-- I HOPE THAT WILL BE PRESENT,

所以，我肯定希望... ... 我希望它能出現。

WHATEVER IT IS.

不管它是什麼。

>> Stephen: I'LL TELL YOU WHO-- I'LL TELL YOU WHO MIGHT

>> 我會告訴你是誰...

GET A LITTLE TURNED ON BY YOUR SHOW IS ANYONE IN THE FURRY

被你的節目弄得有點興奮，有人在發騷嗎？

COMMUNITY.

社區：

>> OH, RIGHT.

>> 哦，對了。

>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU HAVE QUITE FAMOUSLY-- LIKE, YOU DON'T

>> 斯蒂芬：因為你有相當著名的 -- 就像，你不。

HAVE A LOT OF GUESTS.

有很多客人。

>> ALMOST NONE.

>>幾乎沒有。

>> Stephen: ALMOST NO GUESTS, BUT YOU DO HAVE A LOT OF

>> 史蒂芬：幾乎沒有客人，但你有很多的。

MASCOTS.

MASCOTS：

>> YES.

>> 是。

>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.

>> 史蒂芬：你來了。

WE HAVE THE SPACE GEKO.

我們有空間GEKO。

JEFF THE DISEASED LUNG.

傑夫的病肺。

MR. NUTTER BUTTER AND HIS BARBER SHOP SQUIRREL QUARTET.

NUTTER BUTTER先生和他的BARBER SHOP SQUIRREL四重奏。NUTTER BUTTER AND HIS BARBER SHOP SQUIRREL QUARTET.

AND QIONG.

和QIONG。

AM I PRONOUNCING THAT CORRECTLY?

我的發音正確嗎？

>> YOU ARE.

>> 你是。

>> Stephen: THESE LOOK EXPENSIVE.

>> 史蒂芬：這些東西很貴。

I-- I-- DO YOU MAKE THEM YOURSELVES?

我--我--你自己做的嗎？

I MEAN, DOES YOUR SHOW-- I ASSUME YOU DON'T SEW THEM.

我的意思是，你的節目... ... 我假設你不縫它們。

>> NO, NO.

>> 沒有，沒有。

A MAGNIFICENT MASCOTT MAKER CALLED BOB FLANAGAN MAKES THEM.

一個叫BOB FLANAGAN的神奇的馬斯科特製造者製造了它們。

HE'S VERY, VERY BEAUTIFUL.

他非常，非常漂亮。

AND HBO WILL NEVER FIND OUT HOW MUCH THEY COST.

而HBO永遠不會知道他們的成本有多高。

>> Stephen: WHERE DO YOU KEEP THEM?

>> 史蒂芬：你把它們放在哪裡？

WHERE DO YOU KEEP THEM WHEN YOU'RE NOT USING THEM?

當你不使用它們時，你把它們放在哪裡？

I IMAGINE THE STORAGE COSTS ARE CONSIDERABLE.

我想存儲成本是值得考慮的。

>> WE USED TO KEEP THEM IN OUR OFFICES.

>> 我們曾經把它們放在我們的辦公室裡。

REMEMBER OFFICES, WHEN YOU WOULD GATHER IN ONE BUILDING.

記住辦公室，當你聚集在一個建築物。

>> Stephen: WITH PEOPLE.

>> 斯蒂芬：與人。

>> YEAH, THAT.

>> 是啊，那。

WE USED TO HAVE A ROOM WHERE WE PUT ALL OF THEM.

我們曾經有一個房間，我們把所有的人。

BUT WE EVENTUALLY MOVED THEM AFTER, LIKE, THE THIRD CHILD WHO

但我們最終還是把它們搬走了，就像第三個孩子一樣

HAD BEEN BROUGHT TO OUR OFFICE KIND OF OPENED THE DOOR,

被帶到了我們的辦公室，算是打開了門。

SCREAMED.

尖叫了。

BECAUSE YOU KNOW, PUPPETS AND MASCOTTS WHEN■ç THEY'RE ANIMATED

因為你知道，當寵物和MASCOTTS被動畫化的時候■ç

ARE THE MOST MAGICAL THING ON EARTH.

是地球上最神奇的東西。

A DECAPITATED MASCOTT HANGING FROM A HOOK IN A MEAT LOCKER IS

一個被斬首的馬斯科特掛在鎖肉機的鉤子上是

NOT SOMETHING A CHILD IS LIKELY TO FORGET.

不是一個孩子容易忘記的事情。

>> Stephen: THEY SMELL FANTASTIC INSIDE.

>> 內心的味道很好聞。

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE CONDITION ANY MASCOTT WORK BUT

我不知道你是否有條件任何MASCOTT的工作，但。

THEY KEEP THE JUICES IN.

他們讓人無法忍受。

>> THERE IS SOMETHING TRULY MAGIC.

>> 有一些真正的魔法。

I LOVED THE MUPPETS -- YOU KNOW TIM CARAVEL.

我喜歡木偶劇 -- 你知道TIM CARAVEL。

>> Stephen: YES.

>> 史蒂芬：是的。

>> TIM CARAVEL, WE'RE MASSIVE, MASSIVE FANS OF THE MUPPETS.

>> TIM CARAVEL，我們是巨大的，巨大的木偶迷。

I THINK WHAT WE WANTED TO DO WAS MAKE OUR VERSION OF "THE MUPPET

我想我們要做的是製作我們自己的 "木偶 "版本。

SHOW."

SHOW。"

>> Stephen: WHO ARE YOU?

>> 史蒂芬：你是誰？

IF YOU'RE A MUPPET, ARE YOU KERMIT?

如果你是個木偶，你是克米特嗎？

WHO ARE YOU?

你是誰？

>> IAM NOT SO SELF-CONFIDENT TO BE KERMIT.

>> 我不是那麼自信的是克米特。

I LIKED ROLF.

我喜歡羅爾夫。

HE DOES GOOD, TAKES THE CAMERA.

他做得很好，拿著相機。

HE WOULD GET A LAUGH ANY TIME HE DID THAT.

他每次這樣做都會得到一個笑聲。

I LIKED THE SWEDISH CHEF, NATURALLY FUNNY.

我喜歡那個瑞典廚師，自然有趣。

>> Stephen: HEY, I HAVE A TRIVIA THING.

>> 嘿，我有一個瑣事。

WHAT IS UNUSUAL ABOUT THE SWEDISH CHEF'S HANDS?

瑞典廚師的手有什麼不尋常的地方？

>> WHAT?

>> 什麼？

>> Stephen: THEY'RE THE ONLY-- HE'S THE ONLY MUPPET WITH HUMAN

>> 他們是唯一的...

HANDS.

手。

THEY'RE ACTUALLY-- JIM HENCEN IS THE SWEDISH CHEF, OR WAS THE

他們實際上是... JIM HENCEN是瑞典廚師，或者是...

SWEDISH CHEF, AND FRANK OZ WAS THE HANDS.

瑞典廚師，和弗蘭克・奧茲是手。

AND I WAS TALKING WITH FRANK ABOUT THIS.

我和弗蘭克談起這個。

AND HE SAID THEY HAD ACTUALLY DONE IT FOR, LIKE, A MONTH

他說他們已經做了一個月了

BEFORE THEY WENT, "HOLY COW!

在他們走之前，"天哪！"。

WHAT ARE WE DOING?

我們在做什麼？

WE FORGOT TO GIVE HIM HANDS."

我們忘了給他手。"

>> I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

>> 我不知道。

>> Stephen: YEAH, IS THAT THE SWEDISH CHEF.

>> 是的，是那個瑞典廚師。

I THINK IT IS.

我想是的

IT'S THE SWEDISH CHEF HAS HUMAN HANDS.

這就是瑞典廚師的人類之手。

AND IT WAS JUST A MISTAKE.

而這只是一個錯誤。

>> THOSE TWO WERE INCREDIBLE.

>> 這兩個是不可思議的。

HAVE YOU SEEN THE-- THAT CAMERA TEST OF THEM JUST TESTING OUT

你有沒有看到... ...他們剛剛測試的相機測試

THE CAMERAS, WHEN YOU'VE GOT FRANK OZ AND JIM HENSON, TESTIN

攝影機，當你有弗蘭克-奧茲和吉姆-漢森的時候，測試一下

THE CAMERAS FULL DEEP IN CHARACTER.

攝影機充滿了深度的個性。

DANIEL DAY LEWIS ON MUPPETS.

丹尼爾・戴・劉易斯對木偶。

INCREDIBLY FUNNY, CONSTANTLY IN CHARACTER.

非常的有趣，一直都很有個性。

THE UTTER GREATNESS.

極其偉大。

>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER BREAK, BUT WHEN WE

>> 我們必須再休息一下，但是當我們... ...

RETURN, WE WILL REVEAL WHAT MUPPET JOHN OLIVER WOULD BE IF

回來，我們將揭示什麼木偶約翰-奧利弗是如果。

JOHN OLIVER WERE A MUPPET.

約翰・奧利弗是個木偶。

THE ANSWER MAY SURPRISE HIM.

答案可能會讓他大吃一驚。

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