People are talking about how they'd love to hear you do a history podcast, Conan.

人們都在談論他們是多麼喜歡聽你做一個歷史播客，柯南。

We might have mixed feelings about that, and you just kind of moonlighting with another podcast.

我們可能有複雜的感覺， 你只是一種兼職 與另一個播客。

But other than that does that is that something you'd be interested in?

但除此之外，這是否是你感興趣的東西？

Well, first of all, I'd like to point out that they didn't say in addition to it could mean they want this one to end.

好吧，首先，我想指出的是，他們沒有說除了這可能意味著他們希望這一個結束。

Oh, no.

哦，不

And they want something with a little more fiber in it.

而他們想要的東西多一點纖維在裡面。

You know, a little more protein.

你知道，多一點蛋白質。

I I always go to the negative right away.

我我總是馬上去否定。

When someone says, Hey, you know, you'd be really good at I think you mean you don't like the thing I'm doing now.

當有人說："嘿，你知道，你會很擅長... ...我想你的意思是你不喜歡我現在做的事情。

That's an interesting concept.

這是一個有趣的概念。

I am a history buff.

我是一個歷史愛好者。

That's probably, uh, come across during our ramblings on the podcast the last couple of years.

這大概是，呃，在我們過去幾年在播客上的漫談中遇到的。

I also I'm a consumer of history podcasts.

我也我是一個歷史播客的消費者。

I've said this before, but I absolutely love Dan Carlin's hardcore history on I recommend that podcast.

我以前說過，但我絕對喜歡丹-卡林在我推薦那個播客上的硬核歷史。

It's one of my absolute favorites.

這是我的最愛之一。

Um, that guy tells a great tale, and I've learned so much from listening to Dan Carlin and then I actually wrote him a fan letter on.

嗯，那傢伙講的故事很精彩，我聽丹-卡林講了很多，然後我居然給他寫了一封粉絲信，上。

I typed it.

我打的。

So no, you know this.

所以，不，你知道這個。

I have an old cookie typewriter and I typed him a fan letter, and then, uh, this is about two years ago.

我有一臺老式餅乾打字機 我給他打了一封粉絲信 然後，呃，這是兩年前的事了。

And then I think, like a month later, I get this letter in the mail and it's from Dan Carlin and I'm jumping around the kitchen going.

然後我想，就像一個月後， 我得到這封信在郵件中，它是從丹・卡林 和我跳來跳去的廚房去。

Dan Carlin wrote me back, and my wife's like, What is your problem?

丹-卡林給我回信，我妻子說，你有什麼問題？

Three other one I've been listening to recently is, you know, I just took a long car trip with my kids.

另外三個我最近一直在聽的是，你知道，我剛剛帶著孩子們坐了一次長途汽車旅行。

We didn't wanna fly.

我們不想飛。

We wanted to be safe.

我們希望安全。

So we took this long car ride and we were in the car together and we started listening to this podcast.

所以我們坐了很久的車，我們一起在車上開始聽這個播客。

That's by a guy named Mike Duncan.

那是一個叫邁克-鄧肯的人寫的。

And it's called Revolutions.

而它的名字叫 "革命"。

And this guy is thorough.

而且這傢伙很徹底。

He is very thorough.

他是非常徹底的。

And I think the point I'm trying to make is, uh, when people say, Hey, Conan, you should do a history podcast.

我覺得我想說的是，呃，當人們說，嘿，柯南，你應該做一個歷史播客。

I've listened to really people that should be doing history podcasts like Dan Carlin and Mike Duncan and man Mike Duncan.

我聽過真正的人，應該是做歷史播客，如丹-卡林和邁克-鄧肯和人邁克-鄧肯。

Uh, he did one on the English Civil war, and it's It gets so complicated and it's fascinating.

呃，他做了一個關於英國內戰， 它是它變得如此複雜，它的迷人。

But there's like a whole bunch of episodes explaining how incredibly complicated it all waas to the point where I thought, Can't just skips, um stuff and just get to the battles.

但有像一大堆的情節解釋如何令人難以置信的複雜，這一切瓦斯的點，我想，不能只是跳過，嗯東西，只是得到的戰鬥。

But then he did one of the French Revolution.

但後來他做了一個法國大革命的。

I'm listening to it.

我在聽。

I've listened to 10 episodes.

我已經聽了10集。

They're like, 40 minutes each.

他們就像，每個40分鐘。

He hasn't even gotten to the Revolution yet.

他甚至還沒到革命的時候。

That's the title of the show.

這就是節目的標題。

And, yeah, and, uh, but he really takes his time and it's brilliant.

而且，是的，而且，呃，但他真的需要他的時間，它的輝煌。

He's I give it up for Mike Duncan.

他是... ...我為邁克-鄧肯放棄了。

I am not dissing him in any way.

我不是在詆譭他。

He's a brilliant guy, but man, very intelligent, and he really knows his stuff, and I think that's where I get intimidated.

他是個聰明的傢伙，但人，非常聰明，他真的很懂事，我想這就是我被嚇到的地方。

That's where I think I know some stuff about history, and I can maybe shuck and jive and bounce around, and but it's not going to be credible.

這就是我自認為知道一些歷史知識的地方，我也許可以胡說八道，亂彈一通，但這是不會可信的。

What era would you start with, man?

你會從哪個時代開始，夥計？

That's a really good question.

這是一個非常好的問題。

Let's have a little taste before we say, What era would I start with?

我們先來品味一下再說，我會從什麼年代開始？

What about this?

那這個呢？

Look at my team.

看看我的團隊。

I've got Sona who doesn't know about anything that happened before in sync, formed.

我已經讓不知道以前發生過什麼事情的索娜在同步，形成了。

And then I've got Gourlay.

然後是Gourlay。

Now, I know you know some stuff, but you kind of know some stuff.

現在，我知道你知道一些東西，但你也算是知道一些東西。

This is my team.

這是我的團隊。

So keep in mind whatever podcast we do, it's gonna be the three of us doing a history podcast.

所以請記住，無論我們做什麼播客，都會是我們三個人做一個歷史播客。

And we're going to say, Hey, Conan O'Brien here today.

我們要說的是，嘿，柯南-奧布萊恩今天在這裡。

And we're talking about the Russian Revolution White An incredible revolution.

而我們說的是俄國革命白一場不可思議的革命。

And I'm here with my team of history experts, son, Um obsession God s own a your you know about the Russian Revolution, right?

我和我的歷史專家團隊在這裡，兒子，嗯，迷戀上帝的自己的一個你你知道俄羅斯革命，對不對？

They had a revolution in Russia.

他們在俄羅斯進行了一場革命。

Was that a long time ago?

那是很久以前的事了嗎？

Yes.

是的，我知道

Well, you know, it's all relative, but yes, it's sort of broke out during World War One.

嗯，你知道，這都是相對的，但是是的，它是在第一次世界大戰期間爆發的。

Okay?

好嗎？

Many people say it was ah, tottering regime in World War One was going so badly that it pushed it over the edge.

很多人都說是啊，一戰中的圖騰政權發展得太糟糕了，把它推到了邊緣。

But yeah, you know, 1917, I think, is a 1918 around, then those air Russian Revolution years.

但是，是的，你知道，1917年，我想，是一個1918年左右，然後這些空氣俄羅斯革命年。

I stopped paying attention right after you said World War one.

在你說了第一次世界大戰之後，我就不再關注了。

I'm so sorry.

我很抱歉

Did you say what what happened?

你有沒有說發生了什麼事？

It was tottering.

它是蹣跚的。

I heard the word tottering.

我聽到了Tottering這個詞。

Yes, Yes.

是的，是的。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

See, this is how it would go now, Gourlay, you would jump in every now and then.

你看，這就是現在的情況，Gourlay，你會時不時地跳進來。

You know your stuff.

你知道你的東西。

That's the one where they're all a bunch of wooden dolls that lived inside each other.

那就是他們都是一群住在對方體內的木頭娃娃。

Exactly with the babushkas.

正是與babushkas。

Yes.

是的，我知道

Now we're talking.

現在，我們正在談論。

What happened was in Russia in the early 20th century.

發生在20世紀初的俄羅斯。

Uh, basically, everyone was for forced to live inside of someone else, and they were all made of wood.

呃，基本上，每個人都是為了被迫住在別人的身體裡，而且他們都是木頭做的。

And so this became Now that that's how it waas for hundreds and hundreds of years.

所以這就成了現在，幾百年來都是如此。

But then, as you get into the 20th century and technology is improving, the little doll the smallest stall at the you know it.

但是，當你進入20世紀，科技不斷進步，小娃娃最小的攤位在你知道嗎。

The very center doesn't wanna live inside hundreds of thousands of other dolls.

非常中心不想活在其他幾十萬個娃娃裡面。

And and those other dolls don't wanna live inside.

而其他的娃娃也不想住在裡面。

And so the dolls start to rebel, and suddenly they burst open and all the Babushka dolls come out and they're fighting with each other.

於是，娃娃們開始反抗，突然，它們爆裂開來，所有的巴布什卡娃娃都出來了，他們互相打鬥。

Okay?

好嗎？

Yeah, I'm loving this podcast.

是啊，我很喜歡這個播客。

I think this is a green light.

我認為這是一個綠燈。

I want to know when the Russian mail order bride system started.

我想知道俄羅斯的郵購新娘制度是什麼時候開始的。

I'm more interested in that than this.

比起這個，我對這個更感興趣。

Like revolution you're talking about at the time, Sona.

就像你當時說的革命，索娜。

They use telegraphs.

他們使用電報。

And so what would happen was that they would post a picture of a babushka lady made of wood, and someone in the United States would see it in their local newspaper.

所以會發生的事情是，他們會貼出一張木頭做的巴布什卡女士的照片，美國有人會在當地的報紙上看到它。

And they'd send a telegraph and say, I like that babushka, that one right there send her to me.

他們會發來電報，說："我喜歡那個巴布什卡，那個就在那裡，把她送給我。

I live in.

我住在：

I live on Delancey Street in Sioux Falls.

我住在蘇福爾斯的德蘭西街。

I'm enclosing $4.15.

我附上4. 15美元

Send the Babushka doll to me and I will have sex with it.

把Babushka娃娃寄給我，我就和它做愛。

What?

什麼？

Top of the charts?

榜首？

Apple podcast.

蘋果播客。

Three months running.

連續三個月。

Yeah, you know, the promise of the podcast would be you'll no less.

是啊，你知道，播客的承諾會是你不會少。

Then you did before.

那你之前就有了。

This podcast will actively make you stupid.

這個播客會主動讓你變傻。

So then, of course, Rasputin enters the scene.

於是，拉斯普京當然就進入了現場。

Oh, he had a big dick.

哦，他有一個大傢伙。

That's what I know about rescued Jesus, didn't he?

這就是我所知道的獲救的耶穌，不是嗎？

That's the thing that I know.

這是我知道的事情。

That's the kind of history I think people are interested in Is that he has very large Penis.

這就是我想大家感興趣的歷史，就是他的Penis非常大。

Well, that's never been confirmed.

嗯，這是從來沒有被證實。

But it was a, uh a.

但這是一個，呃，一個。

That was a rumor about Rasputin who was said to Rasputin, of course, the mad monk who had the ear of these arena and many people believe helped alienate her even further from the Russian people and helped foment the revolution.

那是一個關於拉斯普京的傳言，當然是對拉斯普京說的，瘋和尚的耳朵，這些競技場，很多人認為有助於進一步疏遠她與俄羅斯人民的關係，並幫助煽動革命。

Many people thought that Rasputin had to go on.

很多人認為，拉斯普京必須要上。

In fact, he was assassinated.

事實上，他是被暗殺的。

But I digress anyway.

但我還是離題了。

Yes.

是的，我知道

Big, probably.

大，可能。

Big cock.

大雞巴。

Yeah.

是啊。

Wow, that's right up there with Catherine the Great.

哇，那是和凱瑟琳大帝一樣的存在。

Having a bunch of sex with horses.

和馬兒發生了一堆性關係。

Have you heard that?

你聽說過嗎？

No.

不知道

Yeah, but that's not true that I'm sure it's not true, but it's not.

是的，但這不是真的，我確信這不是真的，但它不是。

Just hear about it.

只是聽說。

Do you know Catherine the Great?

你認識凱瑟琳大帝嗎？

I've talked to the horses.

我已經和馬兒談過了。

The Catherine the Great died long ago, but horses keep very good records.

凱瑟琳大帝早就死了，但馬兒的記錄非常好。

I've read many horse diary from the period, and they all say no.

我看了很多時期的馬日記，都說沒有。

Didn't happen.

沒有發生。

Um, and we take a fence that sounds like a bunch of bitter horses that weren't selected for the big night.

嗯，我們拿個圍欄，聽起來就像一群沒有被選中的大年夜苦馬。

Yeah, that could kill you.

是啊，這可能會殺了你。

Having sex with a horse?

和馬做愛？

How could it not kill you?

怎麼可能不殺你？

You know you know what?

你知道你知道什麼？

Here's the thing.

事情是這樣的

It's clear it's clear what our history podcast would be.

很明顯，很清楚我們的歷史播客會是什麼。

And if Dan Carlin's listening or Mike Duncan, my apologies, or to anyone in the true history community.

如果丹-卡林在聽或者邁克-鄧肯在聽，我很抱歉，或者向真實歷史社區的任何人道歉。

But this is what my history podcast would be like I would start the podcast by saying, uh, of course, Harry s.

但這是我的歷史播客會是什麼樣子 我將開始播客說，呃，當然，哈利S。

Truman was faced with a very difficult decision.

杜魯門面臨著一個非常艱難的決定。

Does he fire MacArthur because he has gone north of the parallel line in Korea and incurred the wrath of the Chinese government?

他是否因為麥克阿瑟走到了北韓的平行線以北，招致了中國政府的怒火而解僱他？

Or does he?

還是他？

And then Sona would cut in and go did MacArthur of a big dick.

然後索娜會切入，去做麥克阿瑟的大雞巴。

It and I go, What?

它和我去，什麼？

And then the next thing you know would be often running and maybe it would just I mean, that would be me trying the best I could.

然後接下來的事情，你知道會經常運行，也許會只是... ...我的意思是，這將是我盡力我可以。

I think that's pretty good.

我覺得這很好。

And I say to Dan Carlin and Mike Duncan, Step it up a little, Yeah, you know, do we need all that information?

我對丹-卡林和邁克-鄧肯說："再加把勁，我們需要這些資訊嗎？

And also you can't talk about Rasputin without talking about his Penis, because that's what everybody knows about or that song.

而且你不能不談拉斯普京的陰莖，因為那是大家都知道的，或者那首歌。

Remember that song Rasputin, Lover of the Russian Queen?

還記得那首《拉斯普京，俄羅斯女王的情人》嗎？

There was a cat who really was gone.

有一隻貓真的走了。

It's that the lyric Yes, well, that's this week's episode of Big Dick History recovered the Russian Revolution Babushka dolls living inside each other, Rasputin, the old tripod, as they called him, Uh, next week, Milton Berle and the Rise of vaudeville?

就是那句歌詞是的，好吧，這就是本週《大屌史》的劇情恢復了俄國革命巴布什卡娃娃住在對方體內，拉斯普京，老鼎，他們叫他，呃，下週，米爾頓-伯樂和雜耍的崛起？

Yeah.

是啊。

Next week.

下週。

Milton Berle.

米爾頓-伯爾。

The rise of vaudeville on.

雜耍的興起，在。

Then we'll be talking about a scandal involving best Truman.

然後我們會討論一個涉及最好的杜魯門的醜聞。

Well, you don't wanna miss that one.

你不會想錯過這個的。