Name: 隔離，而...你怎麼敢，康涅狄格州？ (Quarantinewhile... How Dare You, Connecticut?)
Uploaded: 2021-02-05T21:25:36.000Z
Duration: 6 min 25 s

JON, WHO HAVE YOU GOT FOR THE SUPER BOWL?

>> Jon: WELL, YOU KNOW, I GOT BASKETBALL FOR THE SUPER BOWL.

>> 喬恩。好了，你知道，我得到了超級碗的籃球。

>> Stephen: THAT WOULD BE A BIG SURPRISE.

>> 史蒂芬：這將是一個巨大的驚喜。

>> Jon: YOU SEE -- BECAUSE IF THEY THROW THE BASKETBALL, IT

>> 喬恩：因為如果他們把球投出去，它就會被打掉

WOULD BOUNCE FURTHER AFTER IT LANDS, YOU KNOW.

它會反彈更多後，它的土地，你知道的。

我不是這兩種運動的忠實擁護者。

I SAY WE GIVE BASEBALL PLAYERS HOCKEY STICKS.

我說，我們給棒球運動員曲棍球棒。

>> Stephen: LET 'EM TAKE THE STICKS WITH THEM AROUND THE

JON BATISTE, GIVE ME A LITTLE FOOTBALL MUSIC, MAN!

JON BATISTE，給我一點足球音樂，夥計！

I SPEND A LOT OF TIME WRITING THE MOST COMPLEX TOPICAL CODE,

我花了很多時間寫最複雜的主題代碼。

CREATING AN INTRICATE DETAILED STORY REALITY,

創造一個複雜的詳細的故事現實。

SUSPENDING AN ENTIRE POPULATION OF HUMANS IN NUTRIENT BATHS, AND

暫停整個人類在營養浴場的活動，以及

HARVESTING THEIR ENERGY TO POWER THE IMMERSIVE, FULL-SENSORY

收穫他們的能量，為即時、全感系統提供能量。

BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, FOLKS, I LIKE TO SCAVENGE AN OLD

但有時，有時，夥計們，我喜歡搜刮一箇舊的。

COMMODORE 64 FROM BEHIND THE LIBRARY, STEAL THE CAR BATTERY

從圖書館後面的COMMODORE 64，偷汽車電池。

OUT OF THE ABANDONED IMPALA ON SOMEONE'S FRONT LAWN, THEN USE

出了廢棄的英帕拉在別人的前院草坪上，然後使用。

SOME RUSTY JUMPERS CABLES TO HOOK IT ALL UP TO SOME 3D

一些生鏽的JUMPERS電纜，把它全部連接到一些3D

GLASSES I SNATCHED OUT OF THE MOVIE THEATER TRASH CAN, THEN

我從電影院垃圾桶裡偷出來的眼鏡，然後...

SLAP THEM ON YOUR FACE TO PLUNGE YOU INTO THE JANKY D.I.Y. A.R.

把它們貼在你的臉上，讓你進入JANKY D.I.Y. A.R.。

NEURAL NIGHTMARE SIMULATION OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:

神經性的噩夢模擬的新聞，這是我的部門。

"QUARANTINE-WHILE!" QUARANTINE-WHILE, SCIENTISTS IN

"QUARANTINE-WHILE！"QUARANTINE -WHILE, SCIENTISTS IN.

KOREA HAVE ENGINEERED BRAIN IMPLANTS THE SIZE OF A SALT

韓國已經設計出鹽粒大小的大腦植入物。

GRAIN WHICH COULD LET PEOPLE CHOOSE THEIR MOOD.

THAT'S GOOD, BECAUSE THE FIRST MOOD YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO

這很好，因為你要的第一種心情是...

CHOOSE IS "I DO NOT MIND HAVING THIS SALT GRAIN IN MY SKULL."

選擇是 "我不介意在我的皮膚上有這種鹽粒。"

THE SCIENTISTS TESTED THE IMPLANT OUT ON RATS BY INJECTING

科學家們在老鼠身上測試了植入物，將其注射到老鼠身上。

THEM WITH COCAINE AND THEN SENDING SIGNALS TO THE BRAIN TO

他們用可卡因，然後發送信號到大腦，以達到

SO... IT WAS AN EXPERIMENT TO SEE IF THEY COULD WASTE COCAINE.

所以... ...這是一個實驗，看看他們是否能浪費可卡因。

ANOTHER FEATURE OF THE IMPLANT IS THAT IT CONNECTS TO A

植入物的另一個特點是，它可以連接到任何一個地方。

I WAS WORRIED THEY WOULDN'T FIND A WAY TO BEAM THOSE SPAM CALLS

我還擔心他們找不到方法來處理這些垃圾電話呢

ABOUT MY VEHICLE'S WARRANTY DIRECTLY INTO MY HEAD.

關於我的車輛的保修直接進入我的腦海。

QUARANTINE-WHILE, AFTER ENGLISH GOAT FARMER DOT MCCARTHY HAD TO

STOP HAVING PAYING VISITORS AT HER FARM DUE TO THE PANDEMIC,

停止有付費訪客 在她的農場由於PANDEMIC。

SO, "SHE MADE 50,000 POUNDS AFTER DIVERSIFYING INTO GOAT

所以，"她在分化成山羊後，賺了5萬英鎊。

I DO ENJOY THE USE OF THE FANCY BUSINESS TERM "DIVERSIFYING"

我很喜歡使用 "DIVERSIFYING "這個花哨的商業術語。

"YEAH, WE'RE REALIGNING OUR BENCHMARK CORE COMPETENCIES IN

"是的，我們重新調整了我們的基準核心競爭力，在以下方面

AGRICULTURE COMMODIFICATION TO BETTER SYNERGIZE OUR HOLDINGS

農業商品化以更好地協調我們的控股公司

AND LEVERAGE OUR BANDWIDTH FOR SCALABILITY."

並利用我們的帶寬實現可擴展性。"

"SO... YOU'RE PUTTING YOUR GOATS ON ZOOM?"

"所以... ... 你要把你的山羊放在ZOOM上？"

"是的，我們正在把我們的山羊在ZOOM。"

HERE'S HOW IT WORKS-- SPOILER, IT IS EXACTLY HOW YOU THINK IT

WORKS, WHICH IS WONDERFUL: "IT'S FIVE POUNDS TO HIRE A

作品，這是很奇妙的："僱一個人是五英鎊。

GOAT, WHO THEN JOINS A SCHEDULED MEETING, TO BRIGHTEN VIDEO CALLS

高達，然後參加預定的會議，亮出視頻通話。

BY BRIEFLY HAVING THEM BUTT IN AS A SURPRISE."

通過簡單的讓他們插隊，作為一個驚喜。"

WOULD BE ADORABLE, DEPENDING ON HOW THEY BUTTED.

將是可愛的，取決於如何他們的屁股。

>> 瑞貝卡，你有第三季度的數字嗎？

還有，你要不要把那隻山羊拖走？

ITS AFFILIATE COMPANIES WANT ME TO ASSURE OUR VIEWERS

其關聯公司希望我向我們的觀眾保證

當那個女人的時候，沒有山羊受到傷害。

QUARANTINE-WHILE, YOU MAY BE ASKING, HOW DO WOMBATS POOP

QUARANTINE--你可能會問，蝙蝠怎麼拉屎？

WELL, SCIENTISTS HAVE GOTTEN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE MYSTERY.

科學家們已經找到了謎團的底部。

SO, IF THAT'S BEEN KEEPING YOU UP AT NIGHT, REST ASSURED,

所以，如果這讓你夜不能寐，放心吧。

APPARENTLY, WOMBATS' INTESTINES CONTRACT IRREGULARLY, CREATING

顯然，母熊的腸子不定期地收縮，創造了一個新的機會。

UNEVEN PRESSURE THAT SHAPES THE SIDES OF THEIR POOP, WHICH

無比的壓力，塑造了他們的大便的側面，這一點。

SCIENTISTS DISCOVERED BY CREATING THIS THREE-DIMENSIONAL

科學家們通過創造這個三維空間發現的。

MODEL, WHICH I CERTAINLY HOPE THEY CALL A "POOPIX CUBE."

模型，我很希望他們稱之為 "POOPIX CUBE"

NOW, IF YOU'RE SAYING TO YOURSELF, "HEY, SCIENTISTS

現在，如果你在對自己說："嘿，科學家們

YOU MIGHT BE PLEASED TO KNOW THAT THIS IS RELATED.

你可能會很高興知道，這是相關的。

ONE RESEARCHER SAID THAT AN EDGE OR UNUSUAL SHAPE IN THE FECES

一位研究者說，糞便中的邊緣或不尋常的形狀。

COULD BE AN EARLY INDICATOR ABOUT THE HEALTH OF THE COLON.

OR, POSSIBLY, EVIDENCE THAT YOU ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED YOUR

或者，有可能，有證據表明，你不小心吞了你的

KIDS, THEY LOOK LIKE LITTLE CANDIES, BUT THEY'RE NOT.

孩子們，他們看起來像小糖果，但他們不是。

QUARANTINE-WHILE, LEGISLATORS IN THE NUTMEG STATE HAVE INTRODUCED

A BILL TO MAKE PIZZA THE OFFICIAL STATE FOOD OF

將比薩餅定為國家官方食品的法案

IT WOULD REPLACE THE CURRENT STATE FOOD, WHICH IS ANYTHING ON

它將取代目前的國家食品，這是任何東西上。

THE COUNTRY CLUB MENU THAT YOU CAN EAT THROUGH CLENCHED TEETH.

鄉村俱樂部的菜單，你可以通過咬牙吃。

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隔離，而...你怎麼敢，康涅狄格州？ (Quarantinewhile... How Dare You, Connecticut?)

experiment

feature

butt

intricate