For the first time in quite a while

很久以來第一次

everyone, and I mean everyone,

每個人，我是說每個人。

not just business bros, everyone

不光是生意人，大家都是

is talking about Wall Street and the stock market.

正在談論華爾街和股市。

You probably already know this,

你可能已經知道了。

but a group of small stock traders

而是一群小股民

got together on the website Reddit

在Reddit網站上聚在一起

and decided to buy stock in the company called Game Stop,

並決定購買名為 "Game Stop "公司的股票。

which then caused some big time hedge funds

然後引起了一些大的對沖基金

to lose billions of dollars.

以損失數十億美元。

Well anyway, I think that's the basic gist

好吧，無論如何，我想這是基本的要領。

of what's been happening.

的發生了什麼。

And I have to say it's fascinating

我不得不說，它是迷人的

that a small bunch of people on an internet message board

小道消息網

can have such a huge impact on the stock market.

能對股市產生如此巨大的影響。

What do you think, Andy?

你覺得呢，安迪？

I said sell.

我說賣。

Now buy!

現在買！

Oh hey, Conan.

哦，嘿，柯南

Yeah, none of the Game Stop controversy surprised me.

是啊，Game Stop的爭議都沒有讓我吃驚。

I predicted it all on my show.

我在我的節目中預測了這一切。

I'm sorry, what show?

對不起，什麼節目？

This show, Andy Richter's Cuckoo Cash!

這個節目，安迪-裡奇特的《杜鵑現金！》。

(intense music)

(激烈的音樂)

[Announcer] Andy Richter's Cuckoo Cash.

[播音員]安迪-裡希特的《杜鵑花》。

(cuckoo clock tweeting)

(咕咕鐘鳴)

Welcome back to Cuckoo Cash

歡迎回到杜鵑現金

where I go cuckoo to make you cash.

在那裡，我去杜鵑讓你現金。

Before we start, I've got

在我們開始之前，我有

just a little business to attend to.

只是一點小事要處理。

Buy, sell, buy, sell, bell, sigh, shut up, goodbye!

買，賣，買，賣，鈴，嘆，閉嘴，再見!

Hey Conan.

嘿，柯南

Yeah.

是啊。

I just made a million bucks, lost it all,

我剛剛賺了一百萬，全賠了。

made it back, and then lost most of it again.

做回來了，然後又失去了大部分。

And that's a profit of 30 bucks.

那就是30塊錢的利潤。

Congratulations, Andy.

恭喜你，安迪。

Now let's get cuckoo with some stock photos about stocks.

現在讓我們用一些關於股票的股票照片來杜鵑。

[Announcer] Stock Stock Photos.

[播音員] 庫存照片。

[Andy] This stock photo made me worried.

這張照片讓我很擔心。

But this stock photo made me feel better.

但這張股票照片讓我感覺更好。

And this stock photo made me hungry.

而這張照片讓我餓了。

Now let's go to Cuckoo Cash correspondent, Conan O'Brien,

現在，讓我們請出杜鵑現金記者柯南-奧布萊恩。

with some hilarious stock ticker symbols.

與一些搞笑的股票行情符號。

Thanks Andy.

謝謝安迪。

Here's some hilarious ticker symbols.

這裡有一些搞笑的股票符號。

Burlington Universal Replacement Parts.

Burlington通用備件。

[Announcer] Stocks!

股票!

Toledo Ukulele Refurbishment and Distribution.

托萊多尤克裡裡琴翻新和配送。

[Announcer] Stocks!

股票!

Philadelphia Occupational Orthopedics and Prosthetics.

費城職業矯形和修復學。

[Announcer] Stocks!

股票!

And Franklin Unified Consortium Riveters.

而富蘭克林統一財團的鉚工。

[Announcer] Stocks!

股票!

Thanks Conan.

謝謝柯南

Now let's go back to Conan O'Brien

現在讓我們回到柯南-奧布萊恩的問題上

for our Buy or Bye segment.

為我們的 "買或拜 "環節。

[Announcer] Buy or Bye!

[播音員]不買就不買!

Conan, would you buy these stocks or say bye to them?

柯南，你會買這些股票還是說拜拜？

Nokia. Buy.

諾基亞。購。

Apple. Buy.

蘋。購。

Ford. Buy.

福特買。

Pfizer. Buy.

輝瑞。買。

Exxon. Buy.

埃克森買。

Intel. Buy.

英特爾買。

Tesla. Buy.

特斯拉。買。

Facebook. Buy.

臉譜網。買。

Macy's. Buy.

梅西百貨。買。

Visa. Buy.

簽證。購買。

Viacom. Buy.

Viacom.買。

Uber. Buy.

Uber購。

Wow Conan, you would buy all of them?

哇，柯南，你會全部買下？

No, at least half of those were saying goodbye to them.

不，至少有一半的人在和他們說再見。

(Andy laughing)

（安迪笑）

Wow, stocks.

哇，股票。

[Announcer] Stocks!

股票!

Now it's time to give a shout out

現在是時候給大家點個讚了

to our sponsor, Mind Bulge.

獻給我們的贊助商，Mind Bulge。

(explosion sound)

（爆炸聲）

[Announcer] Mind Bulge!

[播音員] 心靈突起!

Mind Bulge, the only brain increasing supplement

Mind Bulge，唯一的腦力增強劑

that will bulge your mind.

會讓你的心靈鼓脹。

Mind Bulge.

心靈凸起。

[Announcer] Mind Bulge!

[播音員] 心靈突起!

They're not staring at your bulge.

他們不是盯著你的隆起。

They're staring at your mind, Mind Bulge.

他們在盯著你的頭腦，心球。

[Announcer] Mind Bulge!

[播音員] 心靈突起!

Is illegal in 50 states,

在50個州是非法的。

but it is legal in the only state that counts:

但它是合法的 在唯一的狀態，計數。

the state of your bulge.

你的隆起狀態。

Available at bus stops.

公車站有。

(explosion sound)

（爆炸聲）

[Announcer] Mind Bulge!

[播音員] 心靈突起!

And that's all for this episode of Cuckoo Cash.

這期《杜鵑現金》就到這裡了。

Until next time, remember,

直到下一次，記住。

don't just count your blessing,

不要只算你的福氣。

count your cash!

數錢

[Announcer] Andy Richter's Cuckoo Cash.

[播音員]安迪-裡希特的《杜鵑花》。