I am your host, Stephen Colbert.

我是你們的主持人，斯蒂芬・科爾伯特

Check your calendars because we have completed to count of two weeks of the Biden presidency and so much has changed already.

檢查一下你們的日曆，因為我們已經完成了拜登總統任期兩週的計算，已經發生了很多變化。

For instance, liquor sales have plummeted on.

比如，白酒銷量大幅下滑，在。

That's just my house.

這只是我的房子。

Lately, it feels like this country is going on the rails on a normal train case.

最近，感覺這個國家就像在普通的火車案上走鋼絲。

In normal this morning was the National prayer breakfast, by the way, once served with juice, toast and milk, it's part of a balanced Jesus.

在正常今天上午是國家祈禱早餐，對了，一旦與果汁，吐司和牛奶，它的一部分平衡耶穌。

Like everything in the pandemic.

就像大流行中的一切。

This year's prayer breakfast was held remotely.

今年的祈禱早餐是遠程舉行的。

Obviously, God was there.

很顯然，上帝在那裡。

He's everywhere, but he's pretty old and he can't figure out how to get off mute.

他到處都是，但他年紀挺大的，怎麼也想不通怎麼脫啞巴。

We see your burning bush, but we can't hear the commandments.

我們看到了你燃燒的灌木叢，但我們聽不到戒律。

In his first prayer.

在他的第一次祈禱中：

Breakfast is president.

早餐是總裁。

Biden spoke of the power of faith to sustain us through hardship.

拜登談到，信仰的力量讓我們在困難中得到支撐。

This is a dark, dark time, So where do we turn?

這是一個黑暗的時代，那麼我們該往哪裡去？

Faith kicker guard wrote.

信仰踢球者警衛寫道。

Faith sees best in the dark.

信仰在黑暗中看得最清楚。

I believe that to be true, So I But I don't know why Joe is quoting some guy from Denmark when there's an American breakfast philosopher who so famously wrote, Follow My Nose to the fruity flavor of eternal salvation.

我相信這是真的，所以我... 但我不知道為什麼喬要引用丹麥的某個人的話，而有一個美國的早餐哲學家，他寫了一篇著名的文章，"跟隨我的鼻子去尋找永恆救贖的果味"。

On the other hand, things haven't exactly been going the ex president's way ever since he What's the word?

另一方面，事情並沒有完全按照前總統的方式進行，自從他... ...那個詞是什麼？

Incited an insurrection.

煽動起義；

And, it turns out, after his capital riot, the Screen Actors Guild sag, AFTRA remember both threatened to expel him, no surprise that they would have a falling out.

而事實證明，在他的資本暴動之後，銀幕演員協會sag，AFTRA記得都威脅要開除他，不出意外他們會鬧翻。

The ex president and his followers have never been huge supporters of any union but sag.

前總統和他的追隨者從來都是任何工會的巨大支持者，但薩格。

AFTRA didn't get a chance to fire the old man because he quit.

AFTRA沒有機會解僱老人，因為他不幹了。

He sent them a scathingly stupid letter that begins, I write to you regarding the so called disciplinary committee hearing aimed at revoking my union membership.

他給他們發了一封尖酸刻薄的蠢信，信的開頭是：我就所謂的紀律委員會聽證會給你們寫信，目的是撤銷我的工會會員資格。

Who cares?

誰在乎呢？

Oh, I know the guy who took the time to write a letter who also has skin so thin it makes phyllo dough sing like Kevlar.

哦，我認識那個花時間寫信的人，他的皮膚也很薄，讓麵糰像凱夫拉爾一樣唱歌。

He proceeds taking a stroll down traumatic memory lane.

他繼續在創傷性記憶的道路上散步。

While I'm not familiar with your work, I'm very proud of my work on movies such as Home Alone to Zoo Lander and Wall Street.

雖然我對您的作品並不熟悉，但我對自己在《家》到《動物園蘭達》和《華爾街》等電影中的工作非常自豪。

Money never sleeps.

錢是永遠不會睡覺的。

Yes, who could forget his role as himself in home Alone two or his total immersion as himself in Zoo Lander or when he disappeared into the role of himself in Wall Street to he's a chameleon in that to be on camera.

是的，誰能忘記他的角色作為自己在家裡孤獨的兩個或他的完全沉浸作為自己在動物園登陸者或當他消失在自己的角色在華爾街他是一個變色龍在，要在相機。

I bet he did a bug.

我打賭他做了一個竊聽器。

The letter concludes as such.

這封信的結論是這樣的：

This letter is to inform you of my immediate resignation from Sag AFTRA.

這封信是通知你我立即從Sag AFTRA辭職。

You have done nothing for me.

你沒有為我做任何事情。

I don't know about that.

我不知道。

I mean, without sag.

我的意思是，沒有下垂。

How would you have met your personal nutritionist?

你會如何認識你的私人營養師？

Grimace!

齜牙咧嘴！

Hey, Speaking of acting, I can't wait to talk about Georgia representative and woman waving Heil neighbor Marjorie Taylor.

嘿，說到演戲，我迫不及待地想談談佐治亞州的代表和揮舞著海爾的女人鄰居馬喬裡-泰勒。

Green Green is one of the new ah que in on Congress folk who has claimed 9 11 was a hoax.

綠綠是一個新的啊闕在對國會民間誰聲稱9 11是一個騙局。

School shooting, massacres were false flag events perpetrated by government officials and the California wildfires were caused by a secret Jewish space laser.

學校槍擊案、大屠殺是政府官員製造的假旗事件，加州野火是猶太人祕密的太空脈衝光造成的。

Huh?

咦？

What could make someone believes such crazy conspiracy theories?

是什麼能讓人相信如此瘋狂的陰謀論？

Could it be cam trails online?

會不會是網上的凸輪痕跡？

Green also has endorsed the idea of executing Democratic leaders.

格林也贊同處決民主黨領導人的想法。

Kind of bad luck when you're okay with your new coworker's getting murdered.

當你對你的新同事被謀殺無動於衷的時候，你會很倒黴的。

Hey, guys, I cannot wait to join the team.

嘿，夥計們，我已經迫不及待地想加入這個團隊了。

Tell you what, I'm gonna cut your hamstring, give you a 30 minute head start before I hunt you with a crossbow, right drinks.

這樣吧，我先割斷你的腿筋，給你30分鐘的時間，然後我再用弓弩獵殺你，對吧，飲料。

Later this evening, the house voted to kick green offer committee assignments, including budget and education.

今天晚些時候，眾議院投票決定踢綠報價委員會的任務，包括預算和教育。

But if she's not in charge of education, who's gonna tell all those students that there never really was a shooting?

但如果她不負責教育，誰來告訴那些學生，從來沒有真的發生過槍擊事件？

Before the House vote?

在眾議院表決前？

Green defended herself, and she came very close to denounce.

格林為自己辯護，她就差沒有告發了。

And Q.

和Q。

And on later, in 2018, when I started finding misinformation, lies, things that were not true in these Q and on post, I stopped believing it.

而在後來的2018年，當我開始發現這些Q和帖子裡的錯誤信息、謊言、不真實的東西時，我就不再相信了。

And I want to tell you any source, and I say this to everyone.

而且我想告訴你任何來源，我對大家說。

Any source of information that is a mix of truth and a mix of lies is dangerous.

任何混雜著真相和謊言的資訊來源都是危險的。

You're right.

你是對的

It's dangerous to mix the truth.

混淆事實是很危險的。

Like you saying, I used to believe in queuing on and you lying like now I don't anymore.

就像你說的，我以前相信排隊上，你撒謊一樣，現在我不相信了。

She did try to clear the air on some of her past statements.

她確實試圖澄清她過去的一些言論。

I also want to tell you 9 11 absolutely happened.

我還想告訴你，9.11絕對是發生了。

You know what?

你知道嗎？

This may come as a surprise to you, but those of us who watch those buildings burn with our bare eyes here in the New York City area are not that impressed with your willingness to admit that it happened.

這對你來說可能是個驚喜，但我們這些在紐約地區親眼目睹這些建築被燒燬的人，對你願意承認這一切的態度並不怎麼感動。

I believe we, as a nation promise to always remember it happened.

我相信，我們作為一個國家承諾永遠記住它的發生。

What's your bumper sticker say, 9 11?

你的保險槓貼紙上寫的是什麼，911？

Oops, I forgot.

哎呀，我忘了。

This is the modern GOP.

這就是現代GOP。

They want credit for recognizing reality.

他們要的是承認現實的功勞。

Well, that certainly would have changed Reagan's famous speech.

嗯，這肯定會改變里根的著名演講。

Mr Gorbachev, this is a wall.

戈爾巴喬夫先生，這是一堵牆。

After that insult to the memory of 9 11 victims, Green tried to pass the buck to the media about what things she said.

在那次侮辱9.11遇難者的記憶之後，格林試圖向媒體推卸她說的事情。

And did you see big media companies can take teeny, tiny pieces of words that I've said that you have said any of us and can portray us into someone that we're not.

而你有沒有看到大的媒體公司可以把我說過的，你說過的我們任何一個人的話，都可以把我們塑造成一個不是我們的人。

They take teeny, tiny pieces of words what the deep state calls letters, and they jammed them together to make these things called sentences that I wrote that make me look like oh, monster.

他們把十幾歲的，微小的單詞碎片深國 所謂的字母， 他們把它們塞在一起，使這些東西 所謂的句子，我寫的，使我看起來像 哦，怪物。

Green tried to stress that her previous support of conspiracies doesn't represent who she is now.

格林試圖強調，她之前對陰謀的支持並不代表她現在的身份。

I never said any of these things since I have been elected for Congress.

自從我當選為國會議員以來，我從未說過這些話。

These were words of the past.

這些都是過去的話。

All words, our words of the past, these words I'm saying right now they're in the past, he said.

他說，所有的話，我們過去的話，我現在說的這些話他們都是過去了。

Seconds ago.

幾秒鐘前。

And what do you mean?

你是什麼意思？

Since you've been elected for Congress?

自從你被選入國會後？

That's less than three months ago.

那是不到三個月前的事了。

Honey, I don't understand why you're upset.

親愛的，我不明白你為什麼生氣。

I haven't had sex with your sister once since we started this conversation.

自從我們開始這個對話後，我還沒有和你妹妹做過一次愛。

The sex I had with her doesn't represent who I am today, though tomorrow would be nice.

我和她的性愛並不能代表今天的我，雖然明天會很好。

The only reason the House had to hold this vote in the first place was thanks to minority leader and man watching his family leave for a road trip without him.

當初眾議院之所以要舉行這次投票，多虧了少數派領袖和男人看著家人離開，沒有他的路途。

Kevin McCarthy.

凱文-麥卡錫

Instead of this vote, Democrats asked McCarthy as leader of the House.

民主黨人沒有進行這次投票，而是請麥卡錫擔任眾議院領袖。

Republicans do discipline Green for her past comments At the same time, his fellow House Republicans were enraged at the pro impeachment vote of Wyoming representative and woman who just got invited to go hunting with her dad, Liz Cheney.

共和黨人確實對格林過去的言論進行了懲戒同時，他的眾議院共和黨同僚對懷俄明州代表和女人的支持彈劾投票感到憤怒，她剛剛被邀請與她的父親Liz Cheney一起去打獵。

So last night, McCarthy called a meeting of every House Republican and boldly led them on our road to nowhere, declining to take concrete action against Green while also moving to protect Cheney.

所以昨晚，麥卡錫召集了眾議院每一位共和黨人開會，大膽地帶領他們走上了我們的不歸路，拒絕對格林採取具體行動，同時也動了保護切尼的念頭。

In other words, McCarthy believes that in the GOP civil war, there are very fine people on both sides.

換句話說，麥卡錫認為，在GOP內戰中，雙方都有非常優秀的人。

After the meeting, McCarthy assured the assembled media that Green expressed remorse, but he wasn't sure exactly for what I think.

會後，麥卡錫向聚集在一起的媒體保證，格林表示了悔意，但他並不清楚到底是為了什麼，我認為。

It would be helpful if you could hear exactly what she told all of us denouncing que on.

如果你能確切地聽到她對我們所有譴責闕的人說了些什麼，那會很有幫助。

I don't know if I say it right.

我不知道我說的對不對。

I don't even know what it is, really.

我甚至不知道這是什麼，真的。

You don't know what it is.

你不知道它是什麼。

Then who said this?

那這是誰說的？

Let me be very clear.

讓我說得很清楚。

There is no place for Q on on in the Republican Party.

共和黨內沒有Q上的位置。

I do not support it.

我不支持。

So now he's trying to distance himself from himself.

所以現在他想和自己保持距離。

I can't wait for his next press conference.

我已經等不及他的下一次新聞發佈會了。

I am emphatically denounced Ca van macro the He is a li ar ing ps of ship.

我強烈譴責Ca van macro他是一個li ar ing ps的船。

My pronouncing that correctly, I'm being told I'm not okay.

我的發音正確，被人說我不好。

So anyway, they had what they called a family meeting last night.

所以無論如何，他們昨晚開了一個所謂的家庭會議。

And here's why Kev gave Marjorie a pass.

這就是為什麼Kev會放過Marjorie的原因。

Reportedly, McCarthy warned his colleagues about the Democrats, saying, Quote if they come after her, will come after someone else next.

據報道，麥卡錫警告他的同事關於民主黨人，說，報價如果他們來找她，接下來會找別人。

He's not wrong.

他沒有說錯。

Remember the old poem?

還記得那首古詩嗎？

First they came for queuing on, and I said, Thank God those maniacs scared out of me.

他們先是來排隊上，我說，謝天謝地，那些瘋子把我嚇壞了。

Green reportedly tried to step away from the wild conspiracy theories she's promoted in the past, though she sidestepped the issue of a Facebook post she made suggesting a devastating wildfire that ravaged California was started by a laser beamed from space and controlled by a prominent Jewish banking family.

據報道，格林試圖從她過去推動的瘋狂陰謀論中走出來，儘管她迴避了她在Facebook上發表的一篇帖子，暗示一場蹂躪加利福尼亞的毀滅性野火是由來自太空的脈衝光引發的，並由一個著名的猶太銀行家族控制。

So the Jewish space laser, in other words, arguably the most heinous things, she said.

所以猶太人的太空脈衝光，換句話說，可以說是最令人髮指的事情，她說。

That's like O.

這就像O。

J.

J.

Simpson giving a heartfelt apology for ruining his gloves.

辛普森為毀掉自己的手套而發自內心的道歉。

So all in all, not what you'd call a full throated apology.

所以總的來說，不是你所說的滿腔歉意。

But in the end, not on Lee did your colleagues refused to punish her.

但最終，不對李做你的同事拒絕懲罰她。

They actually gave Green a standing ovation.

他們居然給格林起立鼓掌。

Oh, that ought to teach her a lesson.

哦，這應該給她一個教訓。

Shane, coming here.

肖恩，來這裡。

Your mother and I just got a call from the principal who said, You've been skipping class and you set the girls locker room on fire.

你媽媽和我剛剛接到校長的電話，他說，你一直在逃課，還把女生更衣室給燒了。

Now we have just one thing to say to you, Mr Whoa, you go, Shane Burn, baby burn!

現在我們只想對你說一件事，哇先生，你去吧，謝恩-伯恩，寶貝兒-伯恩!

That's my boy.

這是我的孩子。

Here's my old Zippo.

這是我的老Zippo。

You earned it.

這是你應得的

The flames will talk to you.

火焰會跟你說話。

So Marjorie Taylor Green got away with a slap on the wrist.

所以馬喬裡-泰勒-格林被一巴掌打跑了。

Similarly, when it came time to talk about Liz Cheney and her unforgivable sin of believing in anything.

同樣，當談到利茲-切尼和她不可饒恕的罪過時，她相信任何東西。

Her colleagues voted overwhelmingly to let her keep her position Is House Republican Conference share in a secret ballot where the vote was 145 to 61 plus one member who voted present in a secret ballot?

她的同事們以壓倒性的票數讓她保留她的位置眾議院共和黨會議的份額在無記名投票中，投票是145比61加上一個在無記名投票中投票的成員出席？

He voted present.

他投票贊成。

Now that that is bravery, It reminds me of this scene from Spartacus.

這就是勇敢，這讓我想起了《斯巴達克斯》中的這一幕。

I'm Spartacus.

我是斯巴達克斯

I'm Spartacus present.

我是斯巴達克斯

Yeah.

是啊。

Now here's the Republicans problem.

現在共和黨的問題來了。

The cornerstone of the Democrats midterm strategy and it's a pretty good one is shackling the Republican Party to Green and Kunin.

民主黨中期戰略的基石，而且是一個相當不錯的戰略，就是把共和黨桎梏在格林和庫寧身上。

And Tuesday, in a brace yourself, kick off to the 2022 midterms the Democrats launched their first TV ad.

而週二，在一個支撐自己，踢到2022年中期選舉的民主黨推出了他們的第一個電視廣告。

It has started already.

它已經開始了。

Someone roused Steve Kornacki from his hibernation nutrient chamber and have him lowered into a pair of khaki pants.

有人把史蒂夫-科納基從冬眠的營養室裡叫醒，讓他穿上一條卡其色的褲子。

Now the ads tie eight vulnerable Republicans to Q and on including leader Kevin McCarthy.

現在，廣告將8名脆弱的共和黨人與Q和上聯繫起來，包括領導人凱文-麥卡錫。

Q and a conspiracy theory Born online, took over the Republican Party, sent followers to Congress on with Donald Trump, incited a mob that attacked the capital and murdered a cop.

Q和陰謀論 出生在網上，接管共和黨，發送追隨者國會上與唐納德-特朗普，煽動暴徒襲擊首都和謀殺警察。

Then Trump and Republicans in Congress sided with violent Cuban on mob minority leader Kevin McCarthy should have stood with us, but he was a coward.

然後，特朗普和國會中的共和黨人站在暴力的古巴少數派領袖凱文-麥卡錫一邊，應該和我們站在一起，但他是個懦夫。

He voted to protect Trump leader Kevin McCarthy.

他投票保護特朗普領導人凱文-麥卡錫。

He stood with Q Not you.

他和Q站在一起，不是你。

Being associated with the death cult is never great for your political future.

與死亡邪教聯繫在一起，對你的政治前途從來都不是很好。

I mean, a lot of people think what really cost Al Gore.

我的意思是，很多人認為什麼真正的成本戈爾。

The election in 2000 was joining Heaven's Gate.

2000年的選舉是加入天門。

Yeah, now it's gonna be damaging for McCarthy to be so closely associated with his own political party.

是啊 現在McCarthy和他自己的政黨關係如此密切 會對他造成傷害的

But with just a slightly different voice over, I think you need to make this ad work for him.

但只要配音稍有不同，我想你需要讓這個廣告為他服務。

Q.

Q.

And on ah, conspiracy theory Born online, took over the Republican Party, sent followers to Congress and, with Donald Trump, incited a mob of patriots that attacked the capital.

而在啊，陰謀論上 生在網上，接管了共和黨，把追隨者送進了國會，並和唐納德-特朗普一起，煽動了一群愛國者的暴徒，襲擊了首都。

And Republicans like Kevin McCarthy voted to protect Trump Congressman Kevin McCarthy.

而像凱文-麥卡錫這樣的共和黨人則投票保護特朗普議員凱文-麥卡錫。

He stood with Q.

他和Q站在一起。

Who?

誰？

I'm Kevin McCarthy, and I believe Jewish people have a space laser.

我是Kevin McCarthy 我相信猶太人有一個空間脈衝光。

Yeah, we've got a great show for you tonight.

是啊，我們已經為你準備了一個偉大的節目今晚。

Tiffany had dishes here, but when we come back, meanwhile, stick around.

蒂芙尼有菜在這裡，但當我們回來， 同時，堅持下去。