[Conan] Wow, that's very cool.

哇，太酷了！

Thank you.

謝謝你了

(Tiger Woods chuckles)

（老虎伍茲笑著說）

Do you never get sick of it, you don't get sick of it?

你永遠不會厭惡它，你不會厭惡它嗎？

It's nice wherever you go, people go crazy.

不管你走到哪裡都很好，人們都會瘋狂。

It's nice, it's nice that they are like that,

很好，他們這樣很好。

because I'm certainly one

因為我當然是

that's not really comfortable with it.

那是不太舒服的。

Oh, you're not comfortable with it?

哦，你不適應？

I never have been

我從來沒有

Can I have it then, is that okay?

那我可以要嗎，可以嗎？

All you.

所有你。

A little of the old adulation, spread it my way.

一點老的愛慕之情，撒向我的方向。

First of all, thank you so much for being here.

首先，非常感謝你能來這裡。

I touch on one area we're going to start with

我觸及一個領域，我們要從以下幾個方面入手

'cause it just happened

因為它只是發生

which is US lost to Europe at the Ryder Cup last weekend.

這是美國上週末在萊德杯上輸給歐洲。

Tell us what happened.

告訴我們發生了什麼。

What was your analysis of,

你是怎麼分析的。

of, this seems to be a trend what's going on?

的，這似乎是一種趨勢這是怎麼回事？

We got our ass kicked.

我們的屁股被踢了。

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Excellent, we're moving on now.

很好，我們現在要繼續前進了。

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Now one thing, no, but one thing

現在有一件事，不，但有一件事

that I did want to ask about

我確實想問的

was that the spectators are getting louder,

是，觀眾的聲音越來越大。

more raucous all the time in golf.

在高爾夫中，更多的喧鬧一直。

Do you think that we're headed to a point?

你覺得我們會走向一個點嗎？

I mean, already it's changed so much in 10 years.

我的意思是，10年裡已經改變了這麼多。

I think you've helped change this game a lot.

我想你已經幫助改變了這個遊戲很多。

And created a lot of excitement for golf.

併為高爾夫運動創造了很多刺激。

Where are we going, 10 years from now?

10年後，我們要去哪裡？

Air horns, zeppelins, explosions?

氣笛、齊柏林、爆炸？

I mean, do you think it's gonna get out of hand?

我的意思是，你認為它會得到失控？

No I honestly believe it's all tied into consumption.

不，我真的相信這一切都與消費有關。

Right.

好吧，我知道了

Of their favorite beverage.

他們最喜歡的飲料的。

Right.

好吧，我知道了

(audience chuckles)

（觀眾笑）

Ah, that would be Pepsi.

啊，那就是百事可樂。

Yeah.

是啊。

Late, 'cause late in the afternoon

很晚了，因為下午很晚了

it gets a little more raucous than it is middle of the day.

它變得有點喧鬧比它是一天中。

Right, okay.

好吧，好吧。

And so are they doing anything to sort of calm this down?

那麼他們有沒有做任何事情來平息這件事呢？

I mean, I don't understand how you can play

我的意思是，我不明白你怎麼能玩。

under the situation that you play under the way people go,

下的情況下，你玩下人去。

people are so focused on your game

人云亦云

that you're hearing all kinds of noises on your backswing.

你在上杆時聽到了各種各樣的噪音。

Well we don't mind if it was loud all the time,

好吧，我們不介意它是響亮的所有時間。

people screaming and yelling

喊打喊殺

and you had air horns going off the entire time.

你有空氣喇叭去 關閉整個時間。

It's fine like a football game.

就像足球比賽一樣，很好。

But if it's absolutely quiet and then all of a sudden

但是，如果它是絕對安靜的，然後突然間

you hear anything, you can hear a pin drop,

你聽到什麼，你可以聽到一個針落。

it does distract you.

它確實讓你分心。

Right. I mean, I grew up

是的，我是說，我從小到大都是這樣的。我的意思是，我長大了

on a military base where you had jets and planes

在一個有噴氣機和飛機的軍事基地上。

flying over and you thought nothing of it.

飛過來，你卻不以為然。

Right.

好吧，我知道了

'Cause you heard noise all the time.

因為你一直聽到噪音。

So we want noise and air horns all the time from now on.

所以我們從現在開始要噪音和氣喇叭。

That's what Tiger woods is pleading for.

這就是老虎木的請求。

(audience applauds)

(觀眾鼓掌)

Now, see what you've done?

現在，看看你做了什麼？

This is not the way to go.

這不是辦法。

I have a few questions.

我有幾個問題。

First of all, I've never, is there trash,

首先，我從來沒有，是有垃圾。

'cause trash talking is such a part of sports now.

"因為垃圾話是這樣的一部分 體育現在。

Your good friend, Michael Jordan, a master of,

你的好朋友，邁克爾-喬丹，一個大師。

I think some, some trash talking.

我覺得有些，有些垃圾話。

Is there trash talking in professional golf?

職業高爾夫裡有垃圾話嗎？

Not like there used to be.

不像以前有。

I remember- Oh there used to be?

我記得--哦，以前有嗎？

Without a doubt, without a doubt.

毫無疑問，毋庸置疑。

Guys like, I remember being at the Masters Dinner

我記得我在大師賽的時候

and talking to Sam Snead

和薩姆-斯內德談話

and how Sam used to always talk trash, coming down a stretch

薩姆以前總是說些廢話，下了一段路後

and he would try and play games with you.

他會嘗試和你玩遊戲。

But I thought it was cool. Right.

但我認為這很酷。是啊

You know, golf has changed.

你知道，高爾夫已經改變了。

You know, we really don't do that anymore.

你知道，我們真的不這樣做了。

Which is, you just kind of say it under your breath.

就是說，你只是一種在你的呼吸下說出來。

(Conan chuckles) (audience chuckles)

(柯南笑) (觀眾笑)

Is that what you're gonna use to hit 'cause (laughs)

這就是你要用來打的原因（笑）。

(audience chuckles)

（觀眾笑）

Right.

好吧，我知道了

I think, so you're just muttering a lot

我想，所以你只是喃喃自語而已

like Popeye out there. Pretty much.

像大力水手在那裡。差不多吧

Yeah, it's not the same.

是的，這是不一樣的。

You, I believe, you know, we did a lot of research

你，我相信，你知道，我們做了很多研究。

for this segment.

這一部分的。

For the first time I actually researched the segment.

我第一次真正研究了這個段子。

So I wouldn't just be hissing at you like a cat.

所以我不會像貓一樣對你嘶吼。

But,

但是..,

you, there are very, very rarely

你，有非常，非常少

is there a photograph of you, you know

是否有你的照片，你知道

in your private life.

在你的私人生活中。

You're you, you play-

你是你，你玩

That's good.

那就好

It is good, it is good.

很好，很好。

How do you achieve that though?

不過如何實現呢？

I thought this guy must have a bat cave or a

我想這傢伙一定有一個蝙蝠洞或者是...

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

you're like a superhero.

你就像一個超級英雄。

You perform these amazing feats and then you disappear.

你做了這些驚人的壯舉，然後你就消失了。

And I thought he must, he's like Superman

我想他一定是，他就像超人一樣。

you have an alter ego or you're a

你有另一個自我或者你是一個

No, I think it's one of the,

不，我認為這是一個。

one of the great things that has happened is that

發生的一件大事是

a lot of people just respect my space.

很多人只是尊重我的空間。

And they respect what I do on a golf course

他們尊重我在高爾夫球場上的所作所為

and my private life, they respect that because

和我的私人生活，他們尊重這一點，因為

everyone wants to have their quiet time

人心思靜

with the family and friends. Right.

與家人和朋友。吧。

And I think what's been great is that

我覺得最棒的是

a lot of the fans and a lot of the media

很多球迷和很多媒體。

have respected that, that part of my life.

尊重了這一點，我生命中的那一部分。

And what I think is very, very nice of them to do that.

我認為他們這樣做是非常非常好的。

Your story is so well known and everyone knows that

你的故事太有名了，大家都知道了。

you were interested in and excellent at golf

你對高爾夫感興趣，並且擅長高爾夫

at a very early age.

在很小的時候，就。

But at the age of five, you could look

但在五歲的時候，你就可以看一看

at someone's grip or their swing and you could analyze it

你可以分析一個人的握杆或揮杆的情況

and break down what was wrong with it.

並分析其中的問題所在。

And I was thinking about the today and I thought

我在想今天的事情，我想

how annoying that must have been

煩死人了

for people to hear this from a five-year-old.

讓人們從一個五歲的孩子口中聽到這些。

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Did you make a lot of enemies back then?

當年你是不是樹了很多敵人？

I probably did.

我可能是。

I probably shouldn't have said some things that I said.

我可能不應該說一些我說過的話。

Like the kind of like, what are you doing there, Mr.?

像那種喜歡，你在那裡做什麼，先生？

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Pretty much.

差不多吧

Because that's not, you gotta get our hip into it more.

因為那不是，你得讓我們的臀部更投入。

Who is this five?

這五個人是誰？

He's right.

他是對的

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

You're a good friends with Charles Barkley.

你和查爾斯-巴克利是好朋友。

Yeah.

是啊。

Who likes to play golf. Mm-hmm.

誰喜歡打高爾夫球。嗯哼。

You play golf often with Charles Barkley?

你經常和查爾斯-巴克利打高爾夫嗎？

I do. Okay.

我是這麼想的好吧，我知道了

This is a deposition, I'm taking forever.

這是在做筆錄，我得花很長時間。

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

And your name is Tiger Woods, is it not?

而你的名字是泰格-伍茲，對嗎？

Wow.

哇哦

I'm bringing this up for a reason.

我提出來是有原因的。

I was looking and a lot of people have commented

我在看，很多人都評論說

on Charles Barkley's golf swing

關於查爾斯-巴克利的高爾夫揮杆

and we got footage of it today.

我們今天得到了它的鏡頭。

And I thought, can I show this to you

我想，我可以給你看這個嗎？

and you analyze it for us?

你給我們分析一下？

It might hurt their eyes.

這可能會傷害他們的眼睛。

(Conan chuckles)

（柯南笑著說）

Take a look at this and tell us

你看看這個，告訴我們

what the hell is going on here.

這到底是怎麼回事。

[Commentator] Sir Charles.

[評論員]查爾斯爵士

(Conan grunting)

（柯南叫聲）

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

What is he doing?

他在做什麼？

Well...

那...

First of all.

首先是：

If you, if you look at that

如果你，如果你看那個

you said he's got a speech impediment.

你說他有語言障礙。

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Yeah. There's something wrong happening.

是啊，有什麼事情發生了。有一些錯誤的事情發生。

It also looks physically impossible.

這在物理上看起來也是不可能的。

He stops his swing 2/3 of the way through.

他在2/3的路程中停止了揮杆。

And starts it again.

又開始了。

And starts it again.

又開始了。

I tell you what, that's, why he's one

我告訴你，這就是為什麼他是一個...

of the greatest athletes of all time, right?

最偉大的運動員的所有時間，對不對？

Yeah. Yeah.

是啊，是啊。對，對

Cause I was looking at that, that shouldn't work.

因為我在看那個，那不應該工作。

That shouldn't go anywhere and

這不應該去任何地方和

It doesn't.

它沒有。

(Conan laughs) (audience laughs)

（柯南笑）（觀眾笑）。

I can't wait

我等不及了

till the phone call I get from him because of this.

直到我接到他的電話，因為這個。

Yeah.

是啊。

We're on very late.

我們已經很晚了

He might miss it.

他可能會錯過。

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Do you ever, this is a stupid question

你有沒有，這是一個愚蠢的問題

but do you ever play mini golf?

但你玩過迷你高爾夫嗎？

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Actually I have, yes.

其實我有，是的。

You have play mini golf.

你有玩迷你高爾夫。

And do you get as intense when you play mini golf?

那你打迷你高爾夫的時候會不會也一樣激烈？

You saying the windmill, the speed

你說風車，速度

Is not.

是不。

It's not, it's not always cool when a five-year-old is able

這不，當一個五歲的孩子能夠做到這一點時，它並不總是很酷

to do better than you. Right, right, right.

做得比你更好。對，對，對。

That's just not cool. Right.

這只是不冷靜。好吧，我知道了

So you actually do get out there early and like

所以，你其實早早地就出去了，就像。

look at wait.

看看等。

The Dragon's mouth is opening.

龍的嘴在張開。

Like you're studying the mini golf course.

就像你在研究迷你高爾夫球場。

It's not quite that bad.

還沒那麼糟。

It's not that bad.

沒那麼糟

No.

不知道

It's probably pretty bad okay.

這可能是很糟糕的好嗎。

Let's talk about the video game.

我們來談談電子遊戲。

This is the tiger woods PGA tour.

這就是老虎伍茲的PGA巡迴賽。

It looks like it's selling already.

看來已經在賣了。

And the cool thing about this video game is

而這個電子遊戲最酷的地方是

that you can create your own players.

你可以創建自己的球員。

You can make them look like you or

你可以讓他們看起來像你或

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Why did you gloss over that so quickly?

你為什麼這麼快就把它掩蓋了？

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

(Conan grunts) what you really want to do.

你到底想做什麼？

Or you can make them look

或者你可以讓他們看起來

like a stud

螺螄殼裡做道場

Oh

呵

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

(Conan Laughs)

（柯南笑）

Wow, Wow, Wow.

哇，哇，哇。

That was in the rough, that one.

這是在粗略的，那一個。

(Tiger woods laughs) (audience laughs)

（老虎樹林笑）（觀眾笑）。

Well, actually to prove your point, and this is EA sports.

好吧，其實為了證明你的觀點，而這是EA體育。

The people that make this video game actually sent over,

做這個電子遊戲的人居然發過來了。

they made a, a portion of the video game.

他們做了一個，部分的視頻遊戲。

That's supposed to look like me and how I would do.

這應該是我的樣子，我也會這樣做。

If I shot, took a shot.

如果我出手了，就出手了。

What my swing would look like, I guess, and how I would do.

我想，我的鞦韆會是什麼樣子，我會怎麼做。

And they sent this over today and I, I, we haven't

他們今天把這個送過來了，我，我，我們還沒有。

seen this yet, but let's take a look at this right now.

看到這一點，但讓我們看看這個現在。

Tell me if you think this is accurate.

告訴我，如果你認為這是準確的。

(seagulls cry)

（海鷗叫）

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

What's with the,

什麼是與。

(audience claps)

（觀眾鼓掌）

What's with the pin wheel hat?

銷輪帽是怎麼回事？

(Tiger Woods laughs)

（老虎伍茲笑）

Wow, wow

哇，哇

Thanks a lot for the, the bad shorts, the geeky glasses

謝謝你的，壞短褲，怪胎眼鏡。

and the pinwheel hat.

和風車的帽子。

You pulled it off well.

你做得很好

(laughs) It's not a terrible, terrible shot.

（笑）這不是一個可怕的，可怕的鏡頭。

Now, you can also there, I won't mention so many golf games

現在，你也可以有，我就不提那麼多的高爾夫遊戲了。

where you can play yourself because everybody wants to

在那裡你可以玩自己，因為每個人都想

play Tiger Woods when they play a video game

玩老虎伍茲的時候，他們玩視頻遊戲

and they're playing golf.

他們在打高爾夫。

Have you ever played yourself?

你自己玩過嗎？

And if so

如果是的話

have you gotten incredibly competitive with Tiger Woods?

你是否已經和老虎伍茲有了驚人的競爭力？

You'll see my

你會看到我的

my buddies used to play as me

我的朋友們經常扮演我

and I usually had the pick someone else.

而我通常有選擇別人。

Right. But that must be very strange.

是的，但這一定很奇怪。但這一定很奇怪。

You should try it sometime where you just

你應該嘗試一下，在那裡你只是

are playing yourself.