- [Man] I bet your just some little boy

- 我敢打賭，你只是一些小男孩

stinking up his mom's basement.

臭了他媽媽的地下室。

- Well, this boy is a man

- 嗯，這孩子是個男人

who was at your mom's place last night.

誰是在你媽媽的地方昨晚。

Came through the side door

從側門進來

and let me tell ya, her basement

讓我告訴你，她的地下室

(smacking lips)

（咂咂嘴）

tasted great.

味道很好。

Boo yah!

啵呀！

- [Man] Oh, damn it. (laughing)

- [男人]哦，該死的。（笑）

- [Computer] Victory!

- 勝利！

- Game set and match.

- 遊戲組和比賽。

You catch that verbal curbstomp, Zeke?

齊克，你聽懂了嗎？

- [Zeke] You mean, did I catch you getting

- 你是說，我有沒有抓到你在做什麼？

into that guys head by telling him

灌輸給那個傢伙，告訴他

you tasted his mother dookie shoot?

你嘗過他的母親Dookie拍攝？

Yes, sir.

是的，先生。

How do you do it, Son?

你怎麼做的，兒子？

- Well, I hate to say it

- 好吧，我不想這麼說

but it all started when my dad barged into my room

但這一切都從我爸闖進我的房間開始的

and changed my life with five incredible words.

並用五個不可思議的字改變了我的生活。

(electronic music)

(電子音樂)

- Son, you're a man.

- 兒子，你是個男人。

(tense electronic music)

(緊張的電子音樂)

Now!

現在！

- That's right, Zeke, I'm a man

- 沒錯，齊克，我是個男人。

and you know how men beat little boys

你知道男人怎麼打小男孩嗎？

at online video games?

在網絡視頻遊戲？

- [Zeke] Tell me please.

- 請告訴我

- First they avoid saying anything racist,

- 首先，他們避免說任何種族主義的話。

homophobic, sexist, or disparaging

同志、性別歧視或貶低

of the less fortunate.

命運較差的人的。

- [Zeke] It's a woke world.

- 這是一個清醒的世界。

- Then they say they had sex with their mom.

- 然後他們說他們和他們的媽媽發生了關係。

- Son!

- 兒子！

Pack your bass guitar and your board shorts,

帶上你的貝斯吉他和你的短褲。

we're jogging to Cancun.

我們正在慢跑到坎昆。

Your papi chulo scored VIP tickets to the Aztec jamboree.

你的papi chulo拿到了阿茲特克人狂歡節的VIP門票。

Winner gets to sacrifice the losing bands bass player

贏家可以犧牲輸家樂隊的貝斯手。

on top an ancient ruin.

在一個古老的廢墟之上。

I've always wanted to do that.

我一直想這樣做。

Again.

再來一次

(man screaming)

（男人尖叫）

- Watch the master at work.

- 看著大師在工作。

No can do, daddy-o.

沒辦法，爸爸o。

I'm tits deep helping my boy Urinold level up.

我正在幫我的兒子烏里諾德提升水準。

- Who's Urinold, a computer guy?

- 誰是烏里諾德，一個電腦男？

- Nope, he's you.

- 不，他是你。

'Cause you're an old geezer who can lick my boys.

因為你是一個老傢伙，誰可以舔我的孩子。

(Zeke laughing)

（澤科笑）

Got him.

抓住他了

- [Zeke] Lick your Sons actual balls, Blark.

- 舔你兒子的蛋蛋，布拉克。

- Whoa, ever since I called you a man

- 哇，自從我叫你男人之後

you've been a real ass H to your pappy.

你一直是一個真正的屁股H給你的老爹。

I might just have to dump you in the wild

我可能要把你扔到野外去。

like I did to my first son

就像我對我的第一個兒子一樣

when he started acting out.

當他開始演戲的時候。

Luckily he was a chimpanzee,

幸好他是一隻黑猩猩。

so abandoning him was a lot less illegal.

所以拋棄他的違法性就小了很多。

- Really, Dad, a chimp baby?

- 真的，爸爸，黑猩猩寶寶？

- Don't believe me, eh?

- 不相信我，嗯？

(grunting)

（叫聲）

(tense reflective music)

(緊張的反思音樂)

♪ Ocarina from the woods ♪

壎從樹林裡

(Ocarina whistling)

（壎呼嘯）

(screaming) (glass shattering)

(尖叫) (玻璃碎裂)

Chimpy!

Chimpy!

(laughing) (hooting)

（笑） （呼呼）

- [Zeke] Hey, Son.

- 嘿，兒子

Taking wild guess here,

在這裡胡亂猜測。

but sounds like you just found out you have chimp brother

但聽起來你好像剛發現你有個黑猩猩弟弟一樣。

your dad summoned with clay flute

泥笛召見你爹爹了

who may or may not challenge the notion

可能會或可能不會質疑這一概念的人

that you're a man.

你是個男人

- Who's a strong strong monkey?

- 誰是強壯的強壯猴？

- [Zeke] So, I'll let you deal with that.

- 所以，我讓你來處理這個問題。

- Thanks, Zeke.

- 謝謝，齊克。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

- Son. - Not now, Dad.

- 兒子- 現在不行，爸爸

- Hey, Son. - Get out!

- 嘿，兒子。- 滾出去！

- I love you, Son.

- 我愛你，兒子。

(grunting)

（叫聲）

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

(laughing)

（笑）

Chimpy, you're the best.

黑猩猩，你是最棒的。

- Dad!

- 爹！

As much fun as it's been

和它的樂趣一樣多

watching Chimpy shower the house with primate piss,

看著Chimpy用靈長類動物的尿液澆灌房子。

I think it's time to rent a monkey to the dick circus

我想是時候租一隻猴子給雞巴馬戲團了。

so you and I can log some serious grown ass man time.

所以你和我可以記錄一些嚴重的 成熟的屁股男人的時間。

- Way ahead of you, son.

- 遙遙領先於你，兒子。

We're whittling dope stuff

我們在製造毒品

out of spare chunks of wood

湊合

from our homes structural beams.

從我們家的結構梁。

(wood creaking)

（木頭吱吱作響）

- What the hell is that?

- 那是什麼鬼東西？

- Your big brother paid his rent

- 你大哥交了房租

by long arming us an albatross.

通過長期武裝我們的信天翁。

Hope you like bird bacon.

希望你喜歡鳥類培根。

I'm just happy one of my sons

我只是很高興我的一個兒子。

is man enough to put food on the table.

是男人就可以把食物放在桌子上。

- Do you want some of my gummy worm?

- 你想吃我的橡皮糖嗎？

- Chimpy, what a beautiful minature desk you've carved.

- 胖子，你雕的迷你書桌真漂亮。

(tense flute music)

笛子

- That desk looks like Chimpy holding a giant spike

- 那張桌子看起來就像黑猩猩拿著一個大釘子一樣

that's killing me.

這是殺了我。

- It's a miniature, mid century roll top work station, Son.

- 這是一個微型的，中世紀的滾頂工作站，子。

- Uh, Dad, that is a red flag.

- 呃，爸爸，這是一個危險的標誌。

Chimpy might be dangerous.

Chimpy可能很危險。

- Chimpy is family.

- 黑猩猩是一家人。

Just because one drop of his blood

就因為他的一滴血

contains more man mojo

含有更多的人情味

than you're entire custard filled dough body

比你的整個蛋黃團還大

does not mean you can be a meanie to him.

並不意味著你可以對他吝嗇。

Plus, now that he's back,

另外，現在他回來了。

I can finally have that Gilmore Girls relationship

我終於可以擁有吉爾莫女孩的關係

with my child.

與我的孩子。

(screeching)

（尖叫聲）

Oh, Chimpy.

哦，Chimpy.

You're such a Rory.

你真是個羅裡。

- Fine, I will be in my room until I legally emancipate.

- 好吧，在我合法解放之前，我會待在我的房間裡。

Chimpy, I trust I will never see you again.

黑猩猩，我相信我不會再見到你了。

(tense music)

(緊張的音樂)

(soft mobile music)

(柔和的移動音樂)

- Well looky here.

- 好吧，看這裡。

My two cherub babies

我的兩個小天使寶寶

snoozing in the warm nest of love.

在溫暖的愛巢中打盹。

Chimpy, wining you from that Kansas City zookeeper

黑猩猩，從那個堪薩斯城的動物園管理員那裡贏來的。

in a game of freeze tag

捉迷藏

was the best thing that ever happened to me.

是最好的事情，曾經發生在我身上。

I love you, Chimpy.

我愛你，Chimpy

You're cool, too, um.

你也很酷，嗯。

Shane?

肖恩？

(groaning)

（呻吟）

- Stupid Dad making me life with this stupid monkey.

- 笨爸爸讓我和這隻笨猴子一起生活。

(laughing)

（笑）

- Me no monkey.

- 我不是猴子

- What the hell.

- 搞什麼鬼？

You can talk?

你會說話？

- Me can do much more than talk, boy.

- 我可以做更多的比說話，男孩。

Me Blark first son.

我布拉克的第一個兒子。

Me man.

我的人。

You baby boy.

你的寶貝兒子。

Weak, tiny.

弱小，微小。

- You're evil.

- 你是邪惡的。

Dad!

爹！

(shushing)

（噓聲）

- You tell Blark, you die.

- 你告訴布拉克，你就會死

Scared, little boy?

害怕嗎，小男孩？

You no win this game.

你贏不了這個遊戲。

I in your head now.

我現在在你的腦海裡。

(laughing)

（笑）

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

- So, what are you guys doing?

- 那麼，你們在做什麼？

- Chimpy and I are gonna go up on the roof

- 黑猩猩和我要上屋頂去了

and jump around.

並跳來跳去。

(hooting)

（叫聲）

- Cool?

- 酷嗎？

Before you go, could you get me a soda from the garage?

在你走之前，你能從車庫裡給我拿瓶汽水嗎？

It's dark in there and because I'm little,

裡面很黑，而且因為我還小。

it's scary.

這是可怕的。

- Anything for my soft boiled boy.

- 為我的軟煮男孩做任何事。

- Hey, monkey man.

- 嘿，猴子人。

I'm leaving.

我要走了

My dad is yours.

我爸爸是你的。

- Smart move from child baby.

- 童寶寶的聰明之舉。

- Yeah, I'm thinking of moving to Kansas City.

- 是啊，我正考慮搬到堪薩斯城去。

- Kansas?

- 堪薩斯州？

- Yeah.

- 是啊。

Got a sexy little simian waiting for me at the zoo there.

有一隻性感的小猴子在動物園等著我。

- Simian?

- 西米安？

- Yeah, like monkey.

- 是啊，像猴子一樣。

You might know her actually.

其實你可能認識她。

This super old female with a white patch of fur

這隻超級老母狗，身上有一塊白色的毛髮

right above her hot chimp ass.

就在她那性感的黑猩猩屁股上面

- Mama?

- 媽媽？

- Oh, is that your mom?

- 哦，那是你媽媽嗎？

I didn't catch her name last time I was there.

上次我沒聽清她的名字。

Hard to hear her while she was gagging on my banana.

在她被我的香蕉噎住的時候，很難聽到她的聲音。

- Ba-banana?

- 巴蕉？

Banana look like penis?

香蕉看起來像陰莖？

(tense music)

(緊張的音樂)

Banana mean Son penis?

香蕉的意思是兒子的陰莖？

- Uh huh.

- 嗯哼。

- Banana mean penis!

- 香蕉是指陰莖！

- Dad, help!

- 爸爸，救命啊！

I told you this (bleep) ape was crazy.

我就說這(嗶)猿人是個瘋子。

Where are you?

你在哪裡？

(screeching)

（尖叫聲）

- This no desk.

- 這不辦公桌。

- No (bleep), Sherlock.

- 不，夏洛克

(screeching)

（尖叫聲）

(grunting)

（叫聲）

- You can thank your brother

- 你可以感謝你哥哥

for catching a knock out dinner.

因為趕上了一場淘汰賽。

- You gotta be (bleep) kidding me.

- 你一定是在開玩笑吧？

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

Can't believe this whole thing

不敢相信這一切

was one of your stupid lessons.

是你的一個愚蠢的教訓。

- Son, what better way to prove your manliness

- 孩子，還有什麼比這更能證明你的男子氣概呢？

than to force you to best your simian sibling

而不是逼著你和你的人猿兄弟姐妹比試一下

in a deadly game of wits?

鬥智鬥勇？

- So I'm still a man, right?

- 所以我還是個男人，對嗎？

- He did beat you.

- 他確實打了你。

So, hell no.

所以，地獄沒有。

And to keep your delicate balloon body

為了保持你嬌嫩的氣球身體

from being popped into guts,

從被彈到內臟。

we're releasing my precious Chimpy

我們正在釋放我的寶貝黑猩猩。

back into the wild.

回到野外。

Now, watch as he slowly lumbers past the tree line,

現在，看著他慢慢地從樹線上走過。

turns around, and gives his poppy a coy,

轉過身，給他的罌粟花一個靦腆。

bittersweet look that says,

苦惱的樣子，說。

I love you, father and I forgive--

我愛你，爸爸，我原諒...

(screeching)

（尖叫聲）

(shouting)

（喊）

(hooting)

（叫聲）

- [Chimpy] Revenge!

- 復仇！

- Papa loves you, too.

- 爸爸也愛你

- He's gonna kill us all, isn't he?

- 他要把我們都殺了，是嗎？

(bell dinging)

（鐘聲）

- Oh, bird bacon's ready.

- 哦，小鳥培根的準備。

Let's nosh.

我們去吃點東西吧

Come on, Shane.

來吧，肖恩。

(eerie tense music)

（詭異緊張的音樂）

(upbeat funk music)

(歡快的放克音樂)