It's been half the time looking for someone to share it with the other half trying to escape them.

一直以來，一半時間在找人分享，另一半時間想逃避他們。

If this is the new intern, Melody Melody Eve, how you've Oh God, look at that!

如果這是新來的實習生，Melody Melody Eve，你怎麼會哦，天啊，你看那!

Did you dress yourself very nice, Pumpkin?

你把自己打扮得很好看嗎，南瓜？

She looks like she's been kidnapped by a murderer and dressed in his mother's clothes.

她看起來像被凶手綁架，穿著他母親的衣服。

No offense.

無意冒犯。

How's your porn talk?

你的色情談話怎麼樣？

Porn talk?

色情談話？

Sex Tape 101.

性愛錄像帶101。

There's nothing worse than seeing a woman with dead eyes of a sharp mumbling her way through it like it's homework naming no names.

沒有什麼比看到一個女人用犀利的死眼神喃喃自語更糟糕的了，就像做作業一樣不點名。

Paris Hilton.

帕麗斯-希爾頓

So plenty of Oh yeah, that's it.

所以，大量的哦，是的，就是這樣。

That's it.

就這樣吧

That kind of thing.

這種事情。

Plenty of squeaks and squeals.

大量的吱吱喳喳的聲音。

Always good.

總是好的。

A little bit of a tremble.

有點顫抖。

Just have fun with it.

只要玩得開心就好。

Be creative.

要有創意。

Oh, if I don't actually drink tequila Do you mind getting me something else?

哦，如果我不喝龍舌蘭酒 你介意給我拿點別的嗎？

Yeah.

是啊。

No.

不知道

Yeah, Yeah.

是啊，是啊。

Go.

去吧

Bomb!

炸彈！

Yoga bomb It is.

瑜伽炸彈它是。

Don't get that.

不明白這一點。

Since when do you not like tequila?

你什麼時候開始不喜歡龍舌蘭了？

I'm nagging him all part of the Strat.

我跟他嘮叨的都是Strat的一部分。

This is fun.

這很有趣。

Adorable restaurant, Right?

可愛的餐廳，對吧？

Once you've done that, I want to go through these for me.

一旦你做了，我想通過這些為我。

What's this?

這是什麼？

Tinder.

火柴人。

You're not familiar?

你不熟悉？

with it.

與它。

No, I know what tinder is.

不，我知道火柴是什麼。

Great.

厲害

Go through.

通過。

So yes, to all the attractive ones.

所以是的，對所有有吸引力的。

But remember, you're matching with me.

但記住，你要和我配合。

Not use the standards high.

不使用標準高。

Be picky.

要挑剔。

Nines and tens working professionals know beers.

九、十工作專業人員懂啤酒。

No glasses, no tiger selfies.

不戴眼鏡，不拍老虎自拍。

If any of the message you, then you could discuss dinner.

如果有任何一個人給你留言，那麼你們可以討論晚餐。

Once they suggest a restaurant, Google it.

一旦他們推薦了一家餐廳，谷歌。

Look at the menu.

看看菜單。

If you could buy a bottle of wine for less than 30 quid, then tell them it's a no keep Tuesday evenings, for is, that's what I do.

如果你能用不到30英鎊買一瓶酒，那就告訴他們，週二晚上不能喝酒，因為我就是這麼做的。

Kundalini.

昆達利尼。

Jennifer Aniston had a nose job to fix her Sinus issues.

詹妮弗-安妮斯頓做了隆鼻手術來解決她的鼻竇問題。

There was a girl at my school with similar Sinus issues.

我學校有個女生也有類似的鼻竇炎問題。

She's got a lovely little button Sinuses.

她有一個可愛的小按鈕竇娥。

Now, Robert, I think this one's broken.

現在，羅伯特，我想這個壞了。

Where do we get a new one?

我們在哪裡可以得到一個新的？

Oh, my goodness.

哦，我的天啊

I still need that list.

我還需要那個名單。

Melody.

旋律

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Oh, my goodness.

哦，我的天啊

Yes.

是的，我知道

Cool.

爽啊

No problem.

沒問題。

That is cool.

這是酷。

Mhm.

嗯

Bless.

祝福。

My coffee comes back.

我的咖啡回來了。

Hold again.

再等一下

I'm just gonna threaten her face.

我只是要威脅她的臉。

Right.

好吧，我知道了

We're in here.

我們在這裡。

How you doing?

你好嗎？

You know, mhm.

你知道，嗯。

Mhm.

嗯

Oh, Tom, Kiss.

哦，湯姆，吻。

Anyone knows.

有人知道嗎？

Oh, no, It's just a guy from and it's not.

哦，不，這只是一個人從，它不是。

He was offering to be my sponsor, but he waas God, I love damage, man.

他提出要做我的擔保人，但他是上帝，我喜歡傷害，夥計。

Is he cute?

他可愛嗎？

Hadn't really thought about it.

還真沒想過這個問題。

Yeah, whatever.

是啊，隨便你。

Well, enjoy sponsoring his brains out.

好吧，享受贊助他的大腦。

Maybe I should set up the two of you.

也許我應該撮合你們兩個。

Last time I went on a blind date.

上次我去相親。

Ends up climbing out of a window at sexy Fish.

最後爬出窗外，在性感魚。

Seriously, His heart, His heart knows.

說真的，他的心，他的心知道。

He thought you thought about Shut up.

他以為你在想閉嘴

You wanna fucking with my vagina?

你想搞我的陰道嗎？

Is that a dead give?

這算不算是死心塌地的付出？

You need me to have sex with him so that you don't have to.

你需要我和他做愛，這樣你就不必這樣做了。

You just have to ask to see you.

你只要要求見你。

Oh, my God.

哦，我的上帝。

You guys were so cute.

你們太可愛了。

You ever call me cute again?

你還會叫我可愛嗎？

I will punch you so hard in the vagina, I'll turn you into a glove puppet.

我要狠狠地打你的陰道，我要把你變成一個手套木偶。

I t boy cannot keep away.

我的孩子不能保持遠離。

Probably set up a web.

可能是建立了一個網絡。

Karen, Toilets even watch you while you We've probably watching us right now cracking one out on their laptops in this station.

凱倫，廁所甚至看著你，而你 我們可能看著我們現在破解一個出他們的筆記本電腦在這個站。

Recovered.

恢復了。

Here you go, boys.

在這裡，你去，男孩。

If you want me to like you, it helps if you laugh at my jokes.

如果你想讓我喜歡你，那你就得笑我的笑話。

Women are funny.

女人很有趣。

Your wife must have a sense of humor.

你老婆一定很有幽默感。

She's seen you naked.

她看過你的裸體。

Uh, I don't like you.

呃，我不喜歡你。

Come back.

回來吧

Do I call you or do I just commit a crime?

我是給你打電話，還是直接犯罪？

Probably committing a crime would get me to Ukraine.

可能犯罪會讓我去烏克蘭。

This is me and my most inviting Thank you and good night.

這是我和我最誠摯的邀請，謝謝你，晚安。