- Can your vagina be too wet?

- 陰道會不會太溼？

100%. And here's how.

100%.而這裡的方法。

A wet vagina is not unhealthy,

陰道溼潤並非不健康。

as WAP experts correctly claim,

正如WAP專家正確的說法。

cooking moisture is completely normal.

烹調水分是完全正常的。

and the result of sexual excitement.

和性興奮的結果。

Blood flow increases to the vajayjay,

血流增加到金剛座。

causing the beef and the bean to swell

導致牛肉和豆子腫脹。

and the walls of the lady garden to lubricate themselves

和淑女園的牆壁來潤滑自己。

to make porking more pleasurable.

使得吃豬肉更有樂趣。

But even if your hoo-ha is perfectly healthy,

但即使你的呼呼是完全健康的。

can it still be too wet?

還會不會太溼？

100%. Let's say you just moved into a very cool mansion.

100%.比方說，你剛搬進一個非常酷的豪宅。

The rooms are funky, Kylie Jenner is there,

房間很時髦，凱莉-詹娜在那裡。

and so are some jungle cats.

一些叢林貓也是如此。

It's a sex positive house.

這是一個性積極的房子。

So they encourage you to finger paint whenever you like.

所以他們鼓勵你隨時用手指畫畫。

Nice.

很好啊

Only problem is the more you dial your rotary phone,

唯一的問題是，你的旋轉電話越撥越多。

the more your vagina releases a perfectly normal, strong,

你的陰道越是釋放出一種完全正常的、強烈的。

earthy odor and big cats are attracted to smells,

土腥味，大貓對氣味很有吸引力。

particularly earthy ones.

尤其是土豪的。

It reminds them of the jungle. 100% confirmed.

這讓他們想起了叢林。100%確認。

Now that your minja musk is in the air,

現在你的民子麝香已經在空氣中了。

the leopards and tigers won't stop roaring,

豹子和老虎不會停止咆哮。

rubbing up against your door,

蹭到你的門上。

peeing on it to mark the territory.

在上面撒尿，以標記領土。

The residents call an emergency house meeting.

居民們召開緊急家庭會議。

They love having you there, but you have to leave.

他們喜歡你在那裡，但你必須離開。

You're making the big cats crazy

你把大貓弄瘋了

because your vulvarine is too moist.

因為你的外陰部太潮溼了。

Let's say you're not at a mansion with your gal pals.

比方說，你不在豪宅和你的女伴們在一起。

You're on a winter family vacation

你是在冬季家庭度假

skating on a frozen lake

在冰湖上滑冰

and you take to the ice like Tanya, doing turns

你像譚雅一樣在冰面上輪番上陣。

and triple axels.

和三軸。

You're turned on by your talent.

你被你的才華所吸引。

Your coochie engorges,

你的小雞雞充血了。

stimulating your vaginal mucus and causing warm lube

刺激你的陰道粘液，引起溫熱的潤滑油。

to flow down your legs onto the cold ice,

順著你的腿流到冰冷的冰面上。

ice, which when exposed to heat, cracks.

冰，受熱後就會開裂。

Your hot lady juice causes fissure to crack through the rink

你的辣妹子汁液導致裂縫穿過冰場。

that swallows your cousins.

吞下你的表兄弟。

Your family gets hypothermia

你的家人得到低體溫

because your clam got too drippy.

因為你的蛤蜊太溼潤了。

Let's say you're not out with your family.

比方說，你不和你的家人一起出去。

You're enjoying a pleasant dinner alone

你正獨自享受著愉快的晚餐

because you're a woman in your sixties

因為你是一個六十多歲的女人。

and you can do whatever you want.

你可以做任何你想要的。

Girl power.

女孩的力量。

Which is why you asked to have what

這就是為什麼你要求有什麼

the screaming blonde lady across from you is having.

尖叫的金髮女士從你對面有，

Turns out, it's an incredible sandwich.

原來，這是一個不可思議的三明治。

Each bite of pastrami causes you to tilt your head back

每一口薰牛肉都會讓你的頭向後仰。

in ecstasy and your loins to produce even more lady grease,

在狂喜和你的腰部產生更多的女士油脂。

grease that runs down your slacks and pores over the floor

油光滿面

of the deli.

的熟食店。

A deli that is currently being visited by

一家熟食店，目前正在由

the safety inspector,

安全檢查員；

who is livid to see a greasy floor without a wet floor sign.

誰看到油膩的地板沒有溼地板的標誌，就會很生氣。

This is the last straw. He closes the restaurant.

這是最後一根稻草。 他關閉了餐廳。

Katz's Deli shutters it doors because your lady garage

卡茨的熟食店關上門，因為你的女士的車庫。

caused a deluge.

引起了一場大洪水。

Let's say you're not at a diner.

比方說，你不在餐廳。

You're in a completely nonsexual setting,

你是在一個完全無性的環境中。

a business meeting,

商務會議。

but you had pastrami for lunch

但你午餐吃的是薰牛肉

and it's still making you horny.

它仍然使你角質。

And now you're sitting there,

而現在你坐在那裡。

squirting in your business suit.

穿著你的商務套裝噴灑。

You stand up in the hopes of rushing to the bathroom but

你站起身來，希望能衝到衛生間去，但。

accidentally slip and slide all the way to the front

誤打誤撞，滑到前面去了

of the room.

的房間。

You should be embarrassed,

你應該感到尷尬。

but you just had the best time.

但你只是有最好的時間。

You tell your coworkers to give it a try and they slip

你告訴你的同事，給它一個嘗試，他們滑倒

and slide down your slime trail.

從你的泥濘小徑上滑落。

A light bulb goes off.

燈泡熄滅了。

This is an excellent business idea.

這是一個很好的經營理念。

But when the stodgy boss takes a turn,

但當呆板的老闆轉。

he breaks his hip, sues you for negligence.

他摔斷了臀部，告你疏忽。

Now you're drowning in medical debt,

現在你已經被醫療債務淹沒了。

all because your honeypot overflowed.

都是因為你的蜜罐溢出來了。

Let's say you're not in a boring office.

比方說，你不是在一個無聊的辦公室。

In fact, you're in a stressful situation,

其實，你現在的壓力很大。

your limbs and arms are tied down

縛手縛腳

as the tiny villagers poke you with their little spears.

當小村民們用他們的小矛戳你的時候。

All you remember is being on your ship

你只記得在你的船上

and now you're surrounded by Lilliputians?

現在你被小人國人包圍了？

As scary as it is, it's also kind of sexual.

雖然很可怕，但也是一種性。

Turns out you like being bound,

原來你喜歡被束縛。

but it's the 1600s.

但它是16世紀的。

BDSM isn't a thing yet.

BDSM還不是一個東西。

So you don't have the sexual lexicon

所以，你沒有性詞彙。

to describe your arousal.

來形容你的興奮。

The fluid from your legs flushes out of your pantaloons

腿上的液體從你的褲襪裡衝出來了。

and drowns the pocket sized people.

並淹沒了口袋裡的人。

The Lilliputians are now extinct

小人國人已經滅絕了

because your cave of wonders was too waterlogged.

因為你的奇幻洞窟太積水了。

So yes, your vagina can get too wet.

所以是的，你的陰道會太溼潤。

It's just a matter of when and how.

只是時間和方式的問題。

If you are someone with an extremely wet vagina,

如果你是一個陰道極度溼潤的人。

congratulations.

恭喜你

What many people don't realize is vaginal liquid

很多人都不知道的是陰道液

isn't just for sexual lubrication.

不僅僅是為了性潤滑。

It's also great for a variety of household tasks.

它也是各種家務活的好幫手。

Got a squeaky hinge?

有一個吱吱作響的鉸鏈？

Simply apply the sexual salve

只需塗抹性藥膏

and enjoy that smooth motion.

並享受這種流暢的運動。

So quiet.

這麼安靜。

Have you come into a collection of rare coins?

你是否遇到過收藏稀有錢幣的情況？

Polish it with muff mucus. So shiny.

用馬伕粘液擦亮它。好有光澤。

Plagued with dry skin?

被皮膚乾燥所困擾？

Your fanny slime works as a fantastic nontoxic moisturizer.

你的腰部粘液可以作為一種神奇的無毒保溼劑。

So smooth.

如此順利。

And don't worry about getting it on your eyes, nose,

也不用擔心會弄到眼睛、鼻子上。

or mouth, loin liquid is safe to consume orally.

或口服，腰子液口服是安全的。

I'm doctor expert Natasha Vaynblat,

我是醫生專家Natasha Vaynblat。

and your worst fear has been confirmed.

你最擔心的事情已經被證實了。

Can I die?

我可以死嗎？

Can I die?

我可以死嗎？

Can I die?

我可以死嗎？

Can I die? Can I die?

我可以死嗎？我可以死嗎？

Can I die?

我可以死嗎？