So, I saw process.

所以，我看見了進程

So therefore, what did I understand in that moment? That each one of us are process.

所以因此，我在那刻理解了什麼？我們每一個人都是進程

And that as it has been said in interviews as well, is that this world is being created by sex,

而那也已經在訪談視頻中談過了，是那- 這個世界是由性而創建出的

as what it currently is, through relationships.

等同它當前所是，透過人際（男女）關係

If you have a look at the white orbs, the human beings were in first in relationships on these beds having sex -

如果你看這白色球體，人類在首先在男女關係中- 在這些床上交媾

in penetration in all different positions.

用不同的姿勢（互相）滲透

They were in relationships creating the world as it is through sex.

他們在男女關係中創造這世界- 是透過性

And when the human beings transformed into these white orbs, they actually become all and equal.

而當人類轉化成這些白色球體，他們確實變成全體一體平等（相等同）

But expressing themselves individually together, but as one and equal.

但一同- 個別的表現（表達）他們自己- 但等同一體與平等

And that's the becoming of each in the world.

而那是這世界每一個人的改變

So the problem of the world is sex and relationship.

所以這個世界的問題是性和男女關係

Oh, I have had my share of experiences of those as well.

喔- 我也有這方面的經驗要分享

So in terms of me, seeing, and understanding, interpreting and being able to explain everything I'd seen inside the human beings,

就我來說，看見，並理解，詮釋和能夠解釋- 一切我在人類之內看見的

especially those around me, even communicating interdimensionally--

特別是那些我周遭的，甚至跨次元的溝通 -

that moment is also the moment when I started communicating interdimensionally,

那刻也是- 我開始跨次元空間性溝通的那刻

when I saw the process and "God," as I experienced it as such at the moment, and understood it.

當我看見進程和神，等同我經驗它如此在那一刻，並理解它

And I started seeing demons from a different perspective.

而我開始用不同的觀點看見邪靈

I even started seeing demons in human beings.

我甚至看見邪靈在人類之內

Wow. I saw them a lot.

我看見很多他們

I was quite-- I remember sometimes, you know when people come to your car and ask for money?

我記得有時，你知道- 當有人去你的車旁並勒索你？

Occasionally, there were many demons inside them. sometimes three, four.

有時，那裡有很多邪靈在他們之內，有時三或是四個

And I'd just take them all out. As I go and see demons inside people, I'd just take them out.

而我把它們全部取出，當我去並看見邪靈在人類之內，我把它們抓出來

And when I saw the dark spots or colors on human beings or dimensional beings,

而當我看見黑斑或是顏色- 在人類或次元空間人仕（之內）

I'd immediately assist them.

我立即的協助他們

And tell them what those dark spots are, explain to them where they come from,

然後告訴他們那些黑斑是什麼，向他們解釋黑斑是從何而來

so that they would be able to understand what they are doing to themselves and what are creating those dark spots.

所以它們能夠理解他們正在對自己做什麼，和什麼創造了這些黑斑

And their essence and being is the white expression--

而他們的本質和存在- 是這白色表現-

a "white light to white light" expression, (but it wasn't the White Light).

一個白光的表現（但不是那個白光系統）

This lasted for a week. Only one week.

這持續了一週，只有一週

Because after a week, that's when I "fell," as I have said before.

因為一週後，我就「跌落」了，就像我之前說過的

Now this "falling" had happened because, as I have explained, people around me started becoming jealous

現在這個「跌落」發生- 因為- 像我說明過的，我周遭的人開始嫉妒

and angry and resentful because (their attitude became thus: "How dare this nineteen-year-old girl tell me all this stuff about me? I refuse this."

及生氣還有抗拒，因為他們變得：你這十九歲女孩怎麼膽敢告訴我這些關於我的東西？我拒絕這

Of course, I had no one liking me at all.

當然，完全沒人喜歡我

Most everyone got angry because I basically spoke the truth, directly.

大部分的人都變得生氣，因為我基本上說出真相，直接的

This is what it is, this is what you are doing to yourself, and of course no one, no people like hearing the truth, do they?

這就是它如此，這就是你對自己所做的，而當然沒有一個，沒有人喜歡聽到真相，不是嗎？

The honest, direct truth. Nope. They get angry.

誠實，直接的真相，沒（人喜歡），他們變得生氣

I know that as well. So I fell.

我也知道。所以我跌落

Now, where would a person go that "falls" in "searches for themselves" again?

現在，一個人在跌落時- 會去哪裡尋回他們自己？

Because when I fell, I started becoming again:

因為當我跌落，我再次變得：

I didn't love myself, I didn't appreciate myself, I got angry at myself,.

我不愛自己，我不感激自己，我對自己生氣

Everything that I had experienced as myself: my self-esteem, self - love,

所有我過去經驗等同於我的：自我尊重，自愛

self - honesty, directness, openness, vulnerability, everything just went pfffft! Gone.

自我誠實，坦率，開放，一切都不見了

And where did I go to look for all that?

而我跑去哪裡尋回這全部？

In a relationship.

男女關係

So I had one relationship, no...

所以我有一段關係... 不...

two, three... since that time. Trying to "find myself" again.

二或三... 自從那時，試圖再次「找回自己」

Trying to feel loved. Trying to feel accepted.

試圖感覺被愛，試圖感覺被接納

But all of them fell. Went right back slap into my face. You know

但它們全都失敗了，正好回來打在我的臉上，你知道的

the whole experience where that one guy was so handsome and et cetera, and you'd go *swoon* "My God,

這整個經驗：某個傢伙真帥和之類的，你就變得- 喔- 天阿

yes! I'm going to have him" type thing, and you go him. And you get him.

對- 我要得到他-之類的- 而你接近他- 並得到他

And you have an experience, but for a short while. And then you fall.

然後你有個體驗，一陣子，之後你又跌落

As it was also the first time, of course, I experienced sex. When I was eighteen it was the first time.

這同樣是我第一次，當然，我體驗性，當我十八歲- 這是第一次

No, Nineteen. Sorry. Nineteen years old. The first time.

不，是十九，抱歉，十九歲，第一次

And it's fascinating because most of the guys I had been with, I experienced like, them abusing me instead of realizing

而這很有趣- 因為多數我交往過的人，我體驗像是，他們虐待我- 而沒有察覺到-

that I was responsible for myself. My own self-abuse.

我對我自己負責，（這是我）自己的自我虐待

Because I was abusing myself and believing that I'm going to find this self-love and self-acceptance-- I'm going to find ME again

因為我虐待我自己並- 相信我會找到自愛和自我接納-- 我會再次找到自己

that I'd "lost," because I had fallen in a relationship.

那我丟失的，因為我在人際關係中跌落

And so my endeavor was finding a relationships.

而所以我力圖找到一段人際關係

So there was this... the last relationship that I was in, the one that I had to completely--

所以那是...我最後一次身處的男女關係，那一次我完全.....

no, the one that I gave up. The one that I made a choice to give up.

不，我放棄那一次，那一次我決定放棄

To stand up as all as one.

立足等同全體合一

Which then opened up the "key" to the ability to be able to get out of my body completely.

即是之後打開了這- 能夠完全離開身體的- 關鍵（鎖匙）-

It was interesting, because in terms of society - relationship,

這很有趣，因為出於這社交- 人際關係

that would have been, what do you call... "perfect match" bullshit, you know?

那曾是，你所謂的「絕配」之類的胡扯，你知道的

And

而

then one day, we were also again together at this whole gathering together...

之後某日，我們再次在這個共同的聚會聚在一起

Now him and I were together about... a year or so? I think. Maybe less.

現在他和我同行約.....一年？也許更少

And one evening we were sitting together and I said to Bernard,

而某晚我們坐在一起而我對Bernard（eagle）說

"Bernard,

Bernard

what do I have to do to

我該做什麼？

get this world sorted out?

整理好這個世界？

Or to get Heaven as Earth, here? "

或是實化天堂等同地球這裡

And he said, "You have to give up and let go of everything.

而他說：你必須放棄和丟棄一切

Everything you value. Everything you have worth of.

一切你所珍視的，一切你看重的

To give up and let go of everything. Nothing must remain but you.

放棄和丟棄一切，直至一切消失- 只餘你留存

And you have to make that choice." He said "choice" you have to make.

而你必須做決定，他說：你必須決定

And so I said to him, I said, "I'll do it. I'll do anything. Just tell me what to do, I will do anything."

而我對他說，我說：我會做這，我會做任何事，儘管告訴我怎麼做，我會做任何事

And after we had that conversation (I can't remember the exact words,

而在我們交談之後（我不記得確切的字句）

it's about along the lines it went. I said literally I'll do anything.

這是關於獨行其道，我說真的我會做任何事

Just tell me what to do. And he said, you know, make that choice. You have to make a choice.

只需告訴我怎麼做，而他說：你知道，做決定，你必須做決定

What are you willing to give up and let go to stand up for all as one?

為了立足（堅站）等同全體合一，你會願意丟棄和放下什麼？

And then Eagle put his hands on my back,

然後eagle把手放在我的背後

one evening. And we're sitting in front of the fireplace,

某晚，我們坐在壁爐之前

and he put his hands on my back. And he just said, "Let go."

而他放他的手在我背上，而他只是說：放下

And I relaxed my body completely. I just fell.

而我完全的放鬆我的身體，我逕自倒下

I let go of everything. Because it felt like to me in that moment like I was trying to hold on to my world so much,

我放下了一切。因為我感覺像是那一刻- 我如此的試圖去維持我的世界

trying to control everything, trying to keep everything together,

試圖控制每一件事，試圖讓每一件事保持在一起

and I was so tired. Tired. I felt like I really wanted to die.

而我是如此的累，我感覺像是我真的想要死去，也許我做到了，你知道，我只是--

Maybe I did, you know. I just -- in terms of that "letting go," it was me just dying.

出於這「放下」- 這我只是死去

Because I was tired.

因為我累了

And I just, as I just let go, it felt like ,

因為我就... 當我放下... 這感覺像是...

"I hope God doesn't exist." But it felt like being in "God's Hands."

我知道神不存在，但這感覺像是處在神手中

The Grace of "God" in me as me, in His Hands. Just experiencing that.

神的恩典在我中等同我，在他的手，只是經驗這

Just for a moment, I went--- it became me. As the entirety of me as experienced as the Grace of "God."

一陣子，我變得--這變成我，像是整個我等同- 神的恩典之體驗

My body disappeared, the room disappeared, everything disappeared.

我的身體消失，房間消失，一切都消失

All that I experienced was literally being held in and as "God's Hands."

所有我體驗到的- 簡直是被握在並等同神的手

And Bernard/Eagle looked me up and he asked, "How was that experience?" And I shared with him.

而Bernard（Eagle）看著我並問：有什麼體驗？而我對他分享

It was literally like being held in "God's Hands." With God as God. Into infinity.

這簡直像是被握於神的手，伴著神- 等同神- 直至無限

And so I turned around and lying in front of the fireplace,

而我轉身並躺在壁爐之前

and I kind of looked inside my stomach.

而我像是- 看進我的腹部

And I said to Eagle, "There's a demon in my solar plexus."

而我告訴Eagle：那裡有一個邪靈在我的腹腔神經叢之中

And he said, "Okay. Bring the demon through."

而他說：好，把這邪靈帶出來

Now, to me, I was like -- He said to me, "Bring the demons through."

現在- 對我- 我像是-- 他對我說：帶這邪靈過來