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INTERVIEW 9: My Fall and Standing Up
Desteni呈獻 - 跨次元門戶之歷史(9):我的跌落和站起
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So, I saw process.
所以,我看見了進程
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So therefore, what did I understand in that moment? That each one of us are process.
所以因此,我在那刻理解了什麼?我們每一個人都是進程
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And that as it has been said in interviews as well, is that this world is being created by sex,
而那也已經在訪談視頻中談過了,是那- 這個世界是由性而創建出的
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as what it currently is, through relationships.
等同它當前所是,透過人際(男女)關係
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If you have a look at the white orbs, the human beings were in first in relationships on these beds having sex -
如果你看這白色球體,人類在首先在男女關係中- 在這些床上交媾
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in penetration in all different positions.
用不同的姿勢(互相)滲透
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They were in relationships creating the world as it is through sex.
他們在男女關係中創造這世界- 是透過性
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And when the human beings transformed into these white orbs, they actually become all and equal.
而當人類轉化成這些白色球體,他們確實變成全體一體平等(相等同)
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But expressing themselves individually together, but as one and equal.
但一同- 個別的表現(表達)他們自己- 但等同一體與平等
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And that's the becoming of each in the world.
而那是這世界每一個人的改變
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So the problem of the world is sex and relationship.
所以這個世界的問題是性和男女關係
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Oh, I have had my share of experiences of those as well.
喔- 我也有這方面的經驗要分享
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So in terms of me, seeing, and understanding, interpreting and being able to explain everything I'd seen inside the human beings,
就我來說,看見,並理解,詮釋和能夠解釋- 一切我在人類之內看見的
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especially those around me, even communicating interdimensionally--
特別是那些我周遭的,甚至跨次元的溝通 -
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that moment is also the moment when I started communicating interdimensionally,
那刻也是- 我開始跨次元空間性溝通的那刻
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when I saw the process and "God," as I experienced it as such at the moment, and understood it.
當我看見進程和神,等同我經驗它如此在那一刻,並理解它
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And I started seeing demons from a different perspective.
而我開始用不同的觀點看見邪靈
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I even started seeing demons in human beings.
我甚至看見邪靈在人類之內
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Wow. I saw them a lot.
我看見很多他們
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I was quite-- I remember sometimes, you know when people come to your car and ask for money?
我記得有時,你知道- 當有人去你的車旁並勒索你?
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Occasionally, there were many demons inside them. sometimes three, four.
有時,那裡有很多邪靈在他們之內,有時三或是四個
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And I'd just take them all out. As I go and see demons inside people, I'd just take them out.
而我把它們全部取出,當我去並看見邪靈在人類之內,我把它們抓出來
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And when I saw the dark spots or colors on human beings or dimensional beings,
而當我看見黑斑或是顏色- 在人類或次元空間人仕(之內)
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I'd immediately assist them.
我立即的協助他們
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And tell them what those dark spots are, explain to them where they come from,
然後告訴他們那些黑斑是什麼,向他們解釋黑斑是從何而來
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so that they would be able to understand what they are doing to themselves and what are creating those dark spots.
所以它們能夠理解他們正在對自己做什麼,和什麼創造了這些黑斑
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And their essence and being is the white expression--
而他們的本質和存在- 是這白色表現-
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a "white light to white light" expression, (but it wasn't the White Light).
一個白光的表現(但不是那個白光系統)
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This lasted for a week. Only one week.
這持續了一週,只有一週
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Because after a week, that's when I "fell," as I have said before.
因為一週後,我就「跌落」了,就像我之前說過的
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Now this "falling" had happened because, as I have explained, people around me started becoming jealous
現在這個「跌落」發生- 因為- 像我說明過的,我周遭的人開始嫉妒
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and angry and resentful because (their attitude became thus: "How dare this nineteen-year-old girl tell me all this stuff about me? I refuse this."
及生氣還有抗拒,因為他們變得:你這十九歲女孩怎麼膽敢告訴我這些關於我的東西?我拒絕這
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Of course, I had no one liking me at all.
當然,完全沒人喜歡我
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Most everyone got angry because I basically spoke the truth, directly.
大部分的人都變得生氣,因為我基本上說出真相,直接的
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This is what it is, this is what you are doing to yourself, and of course no one, no people like hearing the truth, do they?
這就是它如此,這就是你對自己所做的,而當然沒有一個,沒有人喜歡聽到真相,不是嗎?
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The honest, direct truth. Nope. They get angry.
誠實,直接的真相,沒(人喜歡),他們變得生氣
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I know that as well. So I fell.
我也知道。所以我跌落
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Now, where would a person go that "falls" in "searches for themselves" again?
現在,一個人在跌落時- 會去哪裡尋回他們自己?
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Because when I fell, I started becoming again:
因為當我跌落,我再次變得:
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I didn't love myself, I didn't appreciate myself, I got angry at myself,.
我不愛自己,我不感激自己,我對自己生氣
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Everything that I had experienced as myself: my self-esteem, self - love,
所有我過去經驗等同於我的:自我尊重,自愛
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self - honesty, directness, openness, vulnerability, everything just went pfffft! Gone.
自我誠實,坦率,開放,一切都不見了
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And where did I go to look for all that?
而我跑去哪裡尋回這全部?
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In a relationship.
男女關係
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So I had one relationship, no...
所以我有一段關係... 不...
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two, three... since that time. Trying to "find myself" again.
二或三... 自從那時,試圖再次「找回自己」
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Trying to feel loved. Trying to feel accepted.
試圖感覺被愛,試圖感覺被接納
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But all of them fell. Went right back slap into my face. You know
但它們全都失敗了,正好回來打在我的臉上,你知道的
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the whole experience where that one guy was so handsome and et cetera, and you'd go *swoon* "My God,
這整個經驗:某個傢伙真帥和之類的,你就變得- 喔- 天阿
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yes! I'm going to have him" type thing, and you go him. And you get him.
對- 我要得到他-之類的- 而你接近他- 並得到他
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And you have an experience, but for a short while. And then you fall.
然後你有個體驗,一陣子,之後你又跌落
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As it was also the first time, of course, I experienced sex. When I was eighteen it was the first time.
這同樣是我第一次,當然,我體驗性,當我十八歲- 這是第一次
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No, Nineteen. Sorry. Nineteen years old. The first time.
不,是十九,抱歉,十九歲,第一次
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And it's fascinating because most of the guys I had been with, I experienced like, them abusing me instead of realizing
而這很有趣- 因為多數我交往過的人,我體驗像是,他們虐待我- 而沒有察覺到-
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that I was responsible for myself. My own self-abuse.
我對我自己負責,(這是我)自己的自我虐待
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Because I was abusing myself and believing that I'm going to find this self-love and self-acceptance-- I'm going to find ME again
因為我虐待我自己並- 相信我會找到自愛和自我接納-- 我會再次找到自己
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that I'd "lost," because I had fallen in a relationship.
那我丟失的,因為我在人際關係中跌落
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And so my endeavor was finding a relationships.
而所以我力圖找到一段人際關係
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So there was this... the last relationship that I was in, the one that I had to completely--
所以那是...我最後一次身處的男女關係,那一次我完全.....
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no, the one that I gave up. The one that I made a choice to give up.
不,我放棄那一次,那一次我決定放棄
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To stand up as all as one.
立足等同全體合一
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Which then opened up the "key" to the ability to be able to get out of my body completely.
即是之後打開了這- 能夠完全離開身體的- 關鍵(鎖匙)-
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It was interesting, because in terms of society - relationship,
這很有趣,因為出於這社交- 人際關係
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that would have been, what do you call... "perfect match" bullshit, you know?
那曾是,你所謂的「絕配」之類的胡扯,你知道的
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And
而
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then one day, we were also again together at this whole gathering together...
之後某日,我們再次在這個共同的聚會聚在一起
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Now him and I were together about... a year or so? I think. Maybe less.
現在他和我同行約.....一年?也許更少
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And one evening we were sitting together and I said to Bernard,
而某晚我們坐在一起而我對Bernard(eagle)說
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"Bernard,
Bernard
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what do I have to do to
我該做什麼?
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get this world sorted out?
整理好這個世界?
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Or to get Heaven as Earth, here? "
或是實化天堂等同地球這裡
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And he said, "You have to give up and let go of everything.
而他說:你必須放棄和丟棄一切
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Everything you value. Everything you have worth of.
一切你所珍視的,一切你看重的
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To give up and let go of everything. Nothing must remain but you.
放棄和丟棄一切,直至一切消失- 只餘你留存
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And you have to make that choice." He said "choice" you have to make.
而你必須做決定,他說:你必須決定
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And so I said to him, I said, "I'll do it. I'll do anything. Just tell me what to do, I will do anything."
而我對他說,我說:我會做這,我會做任何事,儘管告訴我怎麼做,我會做任何事
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And after we had that conversation (I can't remember the exact words,
而在我們交談之後(我不記得確切的字句)
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it's about along the lines it went. I said literally I'll do anything.
這是關於獨行其道,我說真的我會做任何事
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Just tell me what to do. And he said, you know, make that choice. You have to make a choice.
只需告訴我怎麼做,而他說:你知道,做決定,你必須做決定
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What are you willing to give up and let go to stand up for all as one?
為了立足(堅站)等同全體合一,你會願意丟棄和放下什麼?
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And then Eagle put his hands on my back,
然後eagle把手放在我的背後
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one evening. And we're sitting in front of the fireplace,
某晚,我們坐在壁爐之前
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and he put his hands on my back. And he just said, "Let go."
而他放他的手在我背上,而他只是說:放下
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And I relaxed my body completely. I just fell.
而我完全的放鬆我的身體,我逕自倒下
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I let go of everything. Because it felt like to me in that moment like I was trying to hold on to my world so much,
我放下了一切。因為我感覺像是那一刻- 我如此的試圖去維持我的世界
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trying to control everything, trying to keep everything together,
試圖控制每一件事,試圖讓每一件事保持在一起
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and I was so tired. Tired. I felt like I really wanted to die.
而我是如此的累,我感覺像是我真的想要死去,也許我做到了,你知道,我只是--
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Maybe I did, you know. I just -- in terms of that "letting go," it was me just dying.
出於這「放下」- 這我只是死去
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Because I was tired.
因為我累了
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And I just, as I just let go, it felt like ,
因為我就... 當我放下... 這感覺像是...
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"I hope God doesn't exist." But it felt like being in "God's Hands."
我知道神不存在,但這感覺像是處在神手中
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The Grace of "God" in me as me, in His Hands. Just experiencing that.
神的恩典在我中等同我,在他的手,只是經驗這
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Just for a moment, I went--- it became me. As the entirety of me as experienced as the Grace of "God."
一陣子,我變得--這變成我,像是整個我等同- 神的恩典之體驗
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My body disappeared, the room disappeared, everything disappeared.
我的身體消失,房間消失,一切都消失
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All that I experienced was literally being held in and as "God's Hands."
所有我體驗到的- 簡直是被握在並等同神的手
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And Bernard/Eagle looked me up and he asked, "How was that experience?" And I shared with him.
而Bernard(Eagle)看著我並問:有什麼體驗?而我對他分享
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It was literally like being held in "God's Hands." With God as God. Into infinity.
這簡直像是被握於神的手,伴著神- 等同神- 直至無限
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And so I turned around and lying in front of the fireplace,
而我轉身並躺在壁爐之前
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and I kind of looked inside my stomach.
而我像是- 看進我的腹部
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And I said to Eagle, "There's a demon in my solar plexus."
而我告訴Eagle:那裡有一個邪靈在我的腹腔神經叢之中
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And he said, "Okay. Bring the demon through."
而他說:好,把這邪靈帶出來
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Now, to me, I was like -- He said to me, "Bring the demons through."
現在- 對我- 我像是-- 他對我說:帶這邪靈過來