We all are in my family because you're such a funny performer.

我們都是我的家人，因為你是一個有趣的表演者。

You're hilarious performer.

你是搞笑的表演者。

And I feel a little bad because, um, normally, if you were on my show, I would provide some kind of gift because that's what we try to do on these talk shows, you know?

我感覺有點糟糕，因為，嗯，通常情況下，如果你在我的節目，我會提供一些禮物，因為這就是我們試圖做這些談話節目，你知道嗎？

And today it's just a zoom call and nothing You get nothing, you get nothing.

而今天只是一個變焦電話，什麼都沒有 你什麼都沒有，你什麼都沒有。

Well, you know, your show is one of the shows where I really I don't come for the mug.

嗯，你知道，你的節目是其中之一，我真的... ...我不是為了杯子來的。

I wanna be with you and I and I love Andy And that's big fans of your of you guys.

我想和你和我在一起，我愛安迪，這是你們的忠實粉絲。

You know, when you talk about having watched new girl now with your kids and and sort of discovering it And you said it's very flattering things to me.

你知道嗎，當你說到現在和孩子們一起看了《新女孩》，並且發現了它，你說它對我來說是非常受寵若驚的事情。

Um, it zits very uncomfortable for me to hear, because I remember going on your show for the first time and being like, I don't know how to do this show thes air two of the funniest human beings on earth.

嗯，這讓我聽了很不舒服，因為我記得第一次上你的節目，我不知道該怎麼做這個節目，兩個地球上最有趣的人的空氣。

And, you know, I think our instinct when you're around people that you know are just hands down funny or you that is just to be quiet.

而且，你知道，我認為我們的本能 當你周圍的人，你知道是 只是手下來搞笑或你 這只是安靜。

Well, you I remember you being very delightful and very funny.

好吧，你... ...我記得你是非常愉快和非常有趣的。

I remember you complaining a bit about the gifts.

我記得你抱怨了一下禮物的事情。

I'm curious about something who have of the talk show hosts who has the best swag when you go visit.

我很好奇的東西誰有脫口秀主持人誰有最好的贓物，當你去參觀。

Great question.

好問題。

Um, Colbert for sure.

嗯，科爾伯特是肯定的。

Um, Let's see.

嗯，讓我們來看看。

Now, Colbert, like you don't want to schlep to New York to do a talk show.

高拔，你不會想去紐約做脫口秀吧？

But Colbert, you sort of do because you you know what you're going to receive when you get to your dressing room.

但高拔，你會這樣做 因為你知道你到了更衣室會收到什麼東西？

Yes.

是的，我知道

Actually, I should let me take that back.

其實，我應該讓我收回這句話。

You don't know what you're going to receive.

你不知道你會收到什麼。

You just know that it's gonna be great.

你只知道，這將是偉大的。

I'll say this.

我要說的是

I'll say this about Stephen Show.

我想說的是Stephen Show

This is my experience.

這是我的經驗。

Um, the last time I went on that show and I walked into my room, I thought that I had won a game show.

嗯，最後一次我上了那個節目，我走進我的房間， 我以為我已經贏得了一個遊戲節目。

There was, uh, there was electron ICS.

有，呃，有電子ICS。

There was a fur coat, floor length, Um, just incredible stuff.

有一件毛皮大衣，地板長度，嗯，只是不可思議的東西。

And I got very self conscious because I realized when people come on our show, there's a mug that I don't even think it's a mug for our show.

我變得非常自覺，因為我意識到當人們來到我們的節目中，有一個杯子，我甚至不認為這是我們節目的杯子。

I think it's a mug from ALF from the 19 eighties, and then we give them some popcorn.

我想這是ALF公司80年代的一個杯子，然後我們給他們一些爆米花。

Some, like government issue popcorn.

有些人，喜歡政府發的爆米花。

So I felt horrible because they really go all out my caps off to those people.

所以我覺得很可怕，因為他們真的是全力以赴我的帽子給那些人。

It feels like you're being re gifted things that Stephen Colbert received.

這感覺就像你被重新贈送的東西，斯蒂芬-科爾伯特收到。

Uh, and you and you say to yourself, Man, Stevens had to use a nice friend.

呃，你和你自己說，夥計，史蒂文斯不得不使用一個好朋友。

What we do at our show is I we horde stuff that we get from Stephen Show that other people haven't used and we hang on to it and mostly food.

我們在展會上做的事情是... ...我們把從Stephen Show那裡得到的別人沒用過的東西囤積起來... ...我們把它掛在上面，大部分是食物。

So it's food that we're giving away.

所以我們送的是食物。

That's from Colbert Guest Room, and it's like four years old, but yeah, but it's also like a beautiful Nantucket chocolate e.

這是從科爾伯特客房， 它就像四年前，但 是，但它也像一個美麗的南塔基特巧克力e。

No, it's not fair.

不，這不公平。

It's not fair.

這不公平

And, uh, you know, once again, uh, that man, that man, I love him.

而且，呃，你知道，再一次，呃，那個男人，那個男人，我愛他。

Um, but he knows that.

嗯，但他知道。