Name: 檢疫的同時...白色城堡不會讓科維德毀了情人節 (Quarantinewhile... White Castle Won't Let Covid Ruin Valentine's Day)
Uploaded: 2021-01-20T18:21:25.000Z
Duration: 8 min 24 s

LET'S SAY HELLO TO OUR HAPPY FRIEND, MR. JON BATISTE.

讓我們向我們的快樂的朋友，先生問好。JON BATISTE.

JON, YOU LOOK VERY, VERY HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

喬恩，你現在看起來非常，非常高興。

( SCATTING ) ♪ T IN THIS WORLD WITH A LOT OF

PROBLEMMED ♪ OH, MY GOODNESS, I'VE GOT A SONG

哦，我的天啊，我有一首歌曲。

I WAS REALLY MOVED TO SEE THE BIDENS LAND AT ANDREWS.

我看到安德魯斯的比登斯地，真的很感動。

LIKE, IT'S REAL, IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN, MAN YOU.

喜歡，這是真實的，它會發生，男人你。

>> Jon: YOU KNOW IT'S HAPPENING BECAUSE WE PUT IN THE

>> 喬恩：你知道發生了什麼事，因為我們放進去了。

>> Jon: AND IF WE KEEP PUTTING IN THE WORK, IT WILL CONTINUE TO

>> 喬恩如果我們繼續投入工作，它就會繼續下去

>> Stephen:你知道我欣賞什麼嗎？

THE MEMORIAL CEREMONY THAT HE AND FUTURE FIRST LADY HELD TODAY

他和未來第一夫人今天舉行的追悼會。

AT THE REFLECTING POOL AT THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL TODAY FOR THOSE

今天在林肯紀念館的反射池，為這些人舉行的

IT'S A SIMPLE, BEAUTIFUL GESTURE THAT IS THE FIRST STAGE OF THE

這是一個簡單而美麗的GESTURE，是一個簡單而美麗的GESTURE的第一階段。

TO SHOW ACKNOWLEDGMENT AND WRENCHANCE TOWARDS EVERYTHING

表明對一切事物的認識和決心。

THAT'S HAPPENED AND NOT JUST SKIP OVER IT.

這是發生了，而不是隻是跳過它。

I THINK WE HAVE A LOT OF HEALING TO DO, BUT THAT'S THE MOST

我想我們還有很多事情要做，但這是最重要的。

IMPORTANT STEP AFTER WHAT WE HAD IN 2021.

我們在2021年的事情之後的重要一步。

>> Stephen: JON CAN YOU GIVE US A LITTLE MORE OF THAT HAPPY

>> 喬恩：你能給我們多一點快樂的感覺嗎？

WITH A LOT OF PROBLEMS ♪ ALL WE NEED IS A LITTLE LOVING

有很多問題 我們需要的只是一點點的愛

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, FOR YOUR LOVE, MR. COLBERT

謝謝你，謝謝你，為了你的愛，科爾伯特先生。

( LAUGHING ) FOLKS, YOU KNOW, I SPEND MOST OF

夥計們，你知道，我花了大部分的時間

MY TIME WITH A SNIFTER OF FINE ARMAGNAC AT MY ELBOW, LAYING OUT

我的時間，用一把細長的阿馬尼亞克刀在我的肘部，鋪開了。

THE NEWSIEST, MOST COMPELLING PLOTS, CONSTRUCTING THE MOST

最新潮、最吸引人的劇情，構築最強的劇情。

TOPICAL CHARACTERS, AND COMPOSING THE TIMELIEST LYRICAL

主題人物，並創作出最時髦的抒情詩。

METAPHORS TO BRING YOU THE PULITZER-WORTHY MAGNUM OPUS OF A

為您帶來《普利策獎》的主題曲《隱喻》。

BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES I LIKE TO POUND A RACK OF BOOTLEG FOUR

但有時，有時我喜歡敲打一排長腿四號，

LOKO, DEFACE A BUNCH OF CUTOUTS FROM FASHIONS MAGS WITH A

LOKO，為時尚雜誌上的一大堆時裝剪裁打掩護。

SHARPIE AND SLAP 'EM TOGETHER WITH GLUE STICKS, THEN HIJACK MY

用利器把它們用膠水棒粘起來，然後把我的衣服扣起來。

BROTHER-IN-LAW'S OFFICE PRINTER AND RUN DOWN THE TONER, CRANKING

姐夫的辦公室打印機，然後順著調色板，嘎吱嘎吱地響。

OUT THE DERANGED, UNDERGROUND 'ZINE OF NEWS THAT IS MY

出了變態的，地下的新聞雜誌，這是我的。

段：>>量子化---------------------------。

>> Stephen: QUARANTINE-WHILE, IF YOU'RE STILL NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

>> Stephen:夸特林--如果你還不知道該怎麼做的話

WITH YOUR LOVED ONE ON VALENTINES, THERE'S SOME GREAT

與你的夫妻在情人節，有一些偉大的。

RESTAURANTS INTO DRIVE-INS FOR THE NIGHT," COMPLETE WITH

餐館變成夜間的汽車旅館"，包括以下內容

THE WAY YOU CELEBRATE VALENTINES SENDS A MESSAGE.

你慶祝情人節的方式傳遞了一個資訊。

AND WHITE CASTLE IS THE PERFECT WAY TO SAY, "OUR LOVE IS

而白色城堡是說 "我們的愛是 "的最佳方式。

GRATIFYING IN THE SHORT TERM, BUT I WILL LOSE INTEREST AS SOON

在短期內是值得欣慰的，但我將盡快失去興趣。

IT'S A BIG NIGHT FOR THEM, AND ACCORDING TO A SPOKESPERSON,

對他們來說，這是一個重要的夜晚， 據一位發言人說，

"WHITE CASTLE WILL BECOME LOVE CASTLE," BECAUSE THE ONLY THING

"白色城堡會變成愛情城堡" 因為只有一個東西

THAT GETS YOU IN THE MOOD FASTER THAN A MEAL AT WHITE CASTLE IS

比在白宮吃一頓飯更能讓你心情舒暢的是

TO BE TRAPPED IN A CAR WITH SOMEONE WHO JUST HAD A MEAL AT

被困在一輛車裡，和一個剛吃過飯的人在一起

QUARANTINE-WHILE, "OSCAR MEYER IS SEEKING NEW DRIVERS FOR ITS

QUARANTINE-WHILE，"OSCAR MEYER正在尋找新的驅動力，為我的產品提供新的動力。

THEY ARE LOOKING FOR RECENT COLLEGE GRADUATES TO TAKE ON THE

他們正在尋找應屆大學畢業生，以採取的

ONE-YEAR PAID JOB CRISSCROSSING THE COUNTRY IN THE ICONIC

一年的帶薪工作，在全國各地的標誌性建築中縱橫馳騁。

BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS "THANK YOU, MOM AND DAD, FOR WORKING YOUR

因為沒有什麼比 "感謝你，爸爸媽媽，為你的工作 "更重要的了。

ENTIRE LIVES SO THAT I COULD GET A B.F.A. IN MUSICAL THEATRE,"

整個生活，所以我可以得到一個B.F.A.在音樂戲劇，"

QUITE LIKE SPENDING A YEAR DRIVING A BEEF STICK LIMOUSINE.■

相當於花了一年的時間，開了一年的牛棒LEMOUSINE.■。

IN FACT, ONE OF LAST YEAR'S DRIVERS "EVEN PROPOSED TO HIS

事實上，去年的一個司機 "甚至向他的妻子提出了建議。

BUT IF PROPOSING IN THE WIENERMOBILE DOESN'T FEEL

但是，如果在WIENERMOBILE中提出的感覺不

ROMANTIC ENOUGH, YOU CAN ALWAYS TAKE HER TO THE DRIVE-THRU AT

足夠浪漫，你可以隨時帶她去汽車修理廠。

( LAUGHTER ) QUARANTINE-WHILE, UNLESS YOU

LIVE UNDER A ROCK, YOU ARE ALREADY ALARMINGLY AWARE OF

住在岩石下，你已經警惕地意識到了

GWYNETH PATLROW'S GOOP CANDLE■ç THAT PROMISES TO SMELL LIKE HER

GWYNETH PATLROW's GO OP CANDLE■ç，保證聞起來像她的味道。

BUT I'M THE WEIRDO IF I ENTER SOMEONE'S HOME AND ASK, "IS IS

但我是怪人，如果我進入別人的家，並問，"是是是"。

ME, OR DOES IT SMELL LIKE GWYNETH PALTROW'S VAGINA IN

我，或者它聞起來像 GWYNETH PALTROW的陰道在

BUT YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO BUY THE CANDLE THAT SMELLS LIKE

但你可能不想買那支聞起來像蠟燭的蠟燭。

GWYNETH PALTROW'S VAGINA BECAUSE "ONE OF HER VAGINA

GWYNETH PALTROW的陰道，因為 "她的一個陰道"。

CANDLES REPORTEDLY EXPLODED IN A U.K. WOMAN'S HOME."

據報道，蠟燭在一個英國女人的家裡爆炸了。"

A SHOCKING STORY THAT THREATENS THE ENTIRE VAGINA-SCENTED CANDLE

一個令人震驚的故事，威脅到了整個陰道香薰蠟燭。

ACCORDING TO THE HOMEOWNER, "THE CANDLE EXPLODED AND EMITTED HUGE

據房主說，"蠟燭爆炸併發出巨大的聲音。

WHICH IS WHY SAFETY-MINDED CONSUMERS PREFER TO STICK WITH

這也是為什麼有安全意識的消費者更願意堅持使用 "安全 "的產品的原因。

( LAUGHTER ) QUARANTINE-WHILE, "NESTLE HAS

RECALLED 762,000 POUNDS OF HOT POCKETS BECAUSE THEY MAY HAVE

召回762,000磅熱水袋，因為它們可能有。

好吧，但他們仍然有奶酪，對不對？

THE COMPANY IS WARNING CUSTOMERS THAT THE HOT POCKETS CONTAINING

GLASS AND PLASTIC ARE DANGEROUS, THOUGH STILL NOT AS DANGEROUS

玻璃和塑膠是危險的，但仍然沒有那麼危險。

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檢疫的同時...白色城堡不會讓科維德毀了情人節 (Quarantinewhile... White Castle Won't Let Covid Ruin Valentine's Day)

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