Oh, me.

哦，我。

Hey, fool.

嘿，傻瓜。

Hey, hey, hey, bro.

嘿，嘿，嘿，兄弟。

So, Heywood Hey, come here.

所以，Heywood 嘿，過來。

Prisons.

監獄：

A culture clash, Man, There's all kinds of different people that get caught up in California.

文化衝突，男人，有各種不同的人 陷入加州。

They come here for vacation and end up on probation.

他們來這裡度假，最後卻要接受感化。

Hey, my name's Fabian Alamar, and I'm here to answer some questions about prison prisoners.

我叫法比安-阿拉瑪，我來回答一些關於監獄囚犯的問題。

Eat what they're given in show, and, uh, it's not that good.

吃的是節目中給他們的東西，而且，並不是那麼好吃。

Sometimes there's certain days that are good, but most of the time it's like a mystery.

有時有某些日子是好的，但大多數時候就像一個謎。

Meat.

肉類。

Cosmic slop, scary Yockey.

宇宙泔水，可怕的Yockey。

You might get a sweet and sour, but it's really sour.

你可能吃到的是酸甜苦辣，但其實是酸的。

You know it's not good.

你知道這不是好事。

You makes Opas Ah, lot of spreads, but once you hit the pin, that's in the county jail.

你使奧帕斯啊，很多傳播，但一旦你打針，這是在縣監獄。

Once you hit the pin, depending on how you're living, you might get some order.

一旦你打針，根據你的生活方式，你可能會得到一些訂單。

Some chill Oreos and packages.

一些冷冰冰的奧利奧和包。

You get that chill Oreo when you get the tortillas and beans and you got yourself a good cook like my boy Pantera.

當你吃到玉米餅和豆子的時候，你就會得到那個冷酷的奧利奧，你還得到了一個像我的孩子Pantera一樣的好廚師。

He's a good cook.

他是個好廚師。

You're in.

你進去了

That's how I kept my weight.

我就是這樣保持體重的。

You know, it's a myth, man.

你知道，這是一個神話，男人。

It's a myth.

這是一個神話。

No one's going after you like that.

沒人會像這樣追殺你。

It's all like Hollywood makes you believe that it's just like, Oh, you drop the soap and you just leave it there and like you don't wanna pick it up.

這一切就像好萊塢讓你相信，它只是喜歡， 哦，你掉了肥皂，你只是離開它在那裡，像 你不想把它撿起來。

That's weird.

真奇怪

Like, Why would you do that?

比如，你為什麼要這麼做？

Get that you bought it or they gave it to you.

得到的是你買的，還是他們給你的。

Go wash yourself with it.

去用它洗自己吧。

Pick it up, stupid.

撿起來，笨蛋。

Don't be dumb, you know, like White dropped the soap.

別傻了，你知道的，就像小白掉肥皂一樣。

That's stupid.

這是愚蠢的。

That's some like myth.

這有些像神話。

You know, I dropped the soap plenty of times that nobody ran upon me, but I don't do it on purpose, so they just slip, Man.

你知道，我掉了很多次肥皂，都沒有人撞到我，但我不是故意的，所以他們只是滑倒了，夥計。

It slipped.

它滑落了。

Are there a lot of fights in prison?

監獄裡打架的事多嗎？

Come on, bro.

來吧，兄弟。

Of course there's fights.

當然有打架的。

There's knife fights.

有刀戰。

There's fistfight.

有拳頭打架。

There's riots.

有暴亂。

There's all kinds of going on in prison.

監獄裡有各種各樣的事情。

Yeah, here's Here's my advice.

是啊，這是我的建議。

Keep your ears open, keep your eyes peeled and shut your mouth and just mind your own business.

豎起耳朵，睜大眼睛，閉上嘴巴，管好自己就好。

You'll live long.

你會長命百歲的。

They were like, Hey, you're that guy that does the YouTube videos.

他們就像，嘿，你是那個做YouTube視頻的傢伙。

You know that total strike guy.

你知道那個總罷工的傢伙。

So it surprised me to be in prison to bring in the county jail and in prison.

所以，在監獄裡把縣城的監獄和在監獄裡，我很驚訝。

I'm telling you, I got on a bus.

我告訴你，我上了一輛公共汽車。

The driver of the bus new I waas.

公車的司機新我瓦斯。

He's like, Hey, you're still gonna do those I'm getting in.

他說，嘿，你還是要做那些我進去。

I'm shackled up.

我被銬起來了

You're still gonna do those funny videos.

你還是會做那些有趣的視頻。

And I looked at him like this is not the time to ask me, like Tom shackled up.

而我看著他，好像現在不是問我的時候，就像湯姆戴上了鐐銬。

I could.

我可以。

I'm taking baby steps like baby steps.

我像小步子一樣，一步步走來。

And like, I'm like this and then we're all chained up like it's on and he wants to ask me, I'm still gonna do those funny videos.

而像，我這樣的，然後我們都鏈起來，就像它的上，他想問我，我還是會做那些有趣的視頻。

Nobody wants to be famous in prison.

沒有人想在監獄裡出名。

That's that's a no no.

這是一個沒有沒有。

Famous in prisons mean, You know, that means you got money, e.

在監獄裡出名的意思是，你知道，這意味著你有錢，e。

I don't got money like that just cause I give you a soap.

我不會因為給你一塊香皂就有這樣的錢。

I don't mean I'm rich.

我不是說我很有錢。

Once you've done enough time, you become a MacGyver on all kinds of stuff.

一旦你做了足夠多的時間，你就會成為一個各種東西的MacGyver。

Hey, there's a lot of fire cells that make all kind there like that crazy gadgets, they make frames, jerseys.

嘿，那裡有很多消防隊，他們製造各種... ...像那些瘋狂的小玩意，他們製造框架，球衣。

Now they make jerseys.

現在他們做球衣。

And like all kinds of like if your favorite football team baseball team, whatever soccer team with your number and your name in the back, I mean, they're getting real creative, man.

而像各種喜歡 如果你最喜歡的足球隊 棒球隊，什麼足球隊 與你的號碼和你的名字在後面， 我的意思是，他們得到真正的創意，男人。

These guys need their own store, no matter what yard you go to, whether it's a low level or high level, no matter what you're taking away from society, you're taking away from your family and your freedom, and it's not a fun place to be in.

這些人需要有自己的店，不管你去哪個院子，不管是低級的還是高級的，不管你從社會上奪走了什麼，你奪走了你的家庭和你的自由，這不是一個有趣的地方。

It's not fun.

這不好玩。

No matter what, you're still in prison.

不管怎麼樣，你還是在監獄裡。

Change your life and fix your face.

改變你的生活，修飾你的容顏。