to "The Hidden Life of Tree,"

到 "樹的隱性生命"，

trees actually feel and communicate

樹木的實際感受和交流

through their complex root systems?

通過其複雜的根系?

Trees can be friends.

樹木可以成為朋友。

Author Peter Wohlleben said that

作者Peter Wohlleben說

sometimes when a tree is cut down to a stump,

有時當一棵樹被砍成樹樁時。

if it has a best friend,

如果它有一個最好的朋友。

it can be kept alive for centuries

流芳百世

because the BFF can provide nutrients

因為閨蜜可以提供養分

to the stump's roots.

到樹樁的根部。

That is friendship done right.

這就是正確的友誼。

But sometimes trees can be total dicks to each other.

但有時候，樹木之間也會成為十足的混蛋。

- Hey, can you stop growing your branches this way?

- 嘿，你能不能別再這樣種樹枝了？

It's covering my leaves

它覆蓋了我的葉子

and I can't photosynthesize.

我不能光合作用。

It's really messing me up.

這真的讓我很煩惱。

- Sorry, not sorry.

- 對不起，不是對不起。

I'm a grower, can't go much slower, you know? (chuckles)

我是一個成長者，不能再慢了，你知道嗎？（笑聲）

- Dude, don't be a dick.

- 夥計，不要成為一個傢伙。

Just split your branches and grow the other way.

只要分出你的枝條，再往另一邊生長就可以了。

- Bro, you know that winter is coming, okay?

- 兄弟，你知道冬天要來了，好嗎？

And I need to get that fat, fat sun supply

而我需要得到那肥肥的陽光供應。

so that I have nutrients for the winter.

以便我有營養物質過冬。

(tense music)

(緊張的音樂)

- Oh my, God.

- 哦，我的上帝。

Oh there's a deer.

哦，有一隻鹿。

He's munching.

他在吃東西

Quickly, Quickly.

快，快。

- Okay, oh, oh. - Blast a bad taste

- 好吧，哦，哦。- 爆炸一個壞味道

off your branches. - Don't panic.

關閉你的樹枝。- 不要驚慌。

Don't panic. - He's definitely

不要驚慌。- 他絕對是

coming to you next.

下一個來找你。

- [All] Okay, okay.

- [全部]好的，好的。

- Okay. - Okay.

- 好吧，我知道了- 好吧，我知道了

(tree screams)

（樹尖叫聲）

- Okay blessing now.

- 好吧，現在祝福。

Oh my God, Michelle.

哦，我的上帝，米歇爾。

It was really nice knowin' you, dude.

認識你真的很高興，夥計。

It was really great knowin' you.

認識你真是太好了

- Monster.

- 怪獸。

- The social and emotional life of a tree

- 一棵樹的社會和情感生活

is like way more complicated than

是像方式更復雜比

I ever gave them credit for.

我曾經給他們的信用。

And in reading "The Hidden Life of Trees,"

而在閱讀 "樹木的隱祕生命 "時，。

I thought a lot about my own friendships

我想了很多關於我自己的友誼的事情

particularly the ones that had gone very wrong. (chuckles)

尤其是那些出了大問題的。（笑聲）

I had one friend who like straight up became my enemy.

我有一個朋友就像直接成為了我的敵人。

- Michelle, did you hear what Anna did?

- 米歇爾，你聽到安娜做了什麼嗎？

- No, what?

- 不，什麼？

- She told that deer to come eat you?

- 她叫那隻鹿來吃你？

- What?

- 什麼？

That is a lie.

這是一個謊言。

Melissa, why are you lying about me?

梅麗莎，你為什麼要對我撒謊？

- It's not a lie.

- 這不是一個謊言。

- Okay Michelle, how would I even talk

- 好吧，米歇爾，我怎麼會說

to that deer without you hearing about it?

對那隻鹿，你沒聽說過嗎？

(intense music)

(激烈的音樂)

Huh?

咦？

We've been rooted right here

我們一直紮根在這裡

since we were both seedlings.

因為我們都是苗子。

- You communicated through your root system obviously.

- 你顯然是通過你的根系溝通的。

- You are such a Birch.

- 你真是個白樺。

Seriously, Michelle, you've got to watch

說真的，米歇爾，你一定要看一看

out for Birches like these.

出了這樣的樺樹。

- Did you seriously just make a Birch-tree pun?

- 你真的只是做了一個白樺樹的雙關語嗎？

- I'm not proud of it

- 我並不以此為榮

But I stand by it.

但我還是支持它。

Yes.

是的，我知道

An ex-friend of mine basically became an enemy

我以前的一個朋友基本上成了我的敵人

after our friendship dissolved.

在我們的友誼解體後。

She tried to turn all my friends against me.

她想讓我所有的朋友都反對我。

She'd send multiple packages to my house.

她會寄多個包裹到我家。

She attacked my character.

她攻擊了我的角色。

It was honestly really traumatic.

說實話，這真的是一種創傷。

And my therapist said this amazing term

我的治療師說過這個神奇的詞

that I'd never heard before.

我從來沒有聽說過。

These are bids for chaos.

這些都是對混亂的競標。

Bids for war.

競標戰爭。

And the best way to deal

而最好的處理方式

with bids for chaos and war is indifference.

與出價混亂和戰爭是冷漠。

Indifference kills.

冷漠殺人。

Turn off the light.

關燈。

Walk out of the room.

走出房間。

- I'm very familiar with bids for connection

- 我對連接的投標非常熟悉。

through John Gottman's work,

通過約翰-戈特曼的工作。

which is a verbal or non-verbal action

哪些是口頭或非口頭的動作？

that tries to get your attention.

試圖引起你的注意。

And it's indicative of a desire for connection,

而這也表明了人們對連接的渴望。

but bids for chaos?

但競價混亂？

Bids for war?

競拍戰爭？

Fascinating.

迷人的。

I'm not gonna lie.

我不會說謊

You know, when I was in my early 20s

你知道，當我在我20多歲的時候

I had zero idea how to communicate vulnerably

我根本不知道如何脆弱地交流

or deal with feelings.

或處理感情。

So I sent out many bids for war,

於是，我發了很多戰書。

many bids for chaos.

多次出價混亂。

- Okay fine.

- 好吧，好吧。

If you want me to leave, I'll just leave.

你要我走，我就走。

- Fine leave.

- 細細離開。

- Okay fine.

- 好吧，好吧。

- Fine leave.

- 細細離開。

- Okay, I'm leaving.

- 好了，我要走了。

- Fine.

- 好吧

Just leave.

走吧

- Yeah, I'm going.

- 是的，我要去。

I heard you.

我聽到了

- Fine. Leave.

- 好吧離開吧

- Yeah, I'm leaving now.

- 是的，我現在要走了。

I'm gonna leave.

我要走了

- Leave.

- 走吧

Fine.

好吧

Leave.

走吧

- Yeah I'm gonna go.

- 是的，我要去。

- Fine, leave.

- 好吧，離開。

- Okay I feel like I'm getting mixed messages here.

- 好吧，我覺得我在這裡得到的資訊很混亂。

Do you want me to leave or not?

你到底要不要我離開？

- Oddly enough I was telling a friend about

- 奇怪的是，我跟朋友說起了

this whole situation when it was going down

事發時

and she turned me onto The Grey Rock Method.

她把我轉到了 "灰巖法 "上。

And it's pretty funny.

而且這很有趣。

So I have to share.

所以我必須要分享。

So grey rocking is a technique

所以灰色搖擺是一種技術

for interacting with manipulative and abusive people.

因為與操縱和虐待的人交往。

And it can range from dealing with someone who's

它的範圍可以從處理某人誰的。

like a legit narcissist or just having to deal

像一個合法的自戀者 或者只是不得不處理，

with someone who has a toxic dynamic with you.

與某人誰有一個有毒的動態與你。

Ellen Biros, a therapist in Georgia says,

佐治亞州的治療師埃倫-比羅斯說。

"This strategy involves becoming the most boring

"這個戰略包括成為最無聊的

"and uninteresting person you can be

"和無趣的人，你可以是。

"when interacting with a manipulative person."

"當與一個操縱者互動時。"

Since people with manipulative personalities feed on drama,

由於具有操縱性格的人都是以戲劇性為生的。

the duller and more boring you seem,

你看起來越是枯燥無味。

the more you undermine their efforts

愈挫愈勇

to manipulate and control you.

來操縱和控制你。

Hence Grey Rock.

是以，灰巖。

- Michelle, did you see?

- 米歇爾，你看到了嗎？

Melissa dropped like almost all of her leaves

梅麗莎像幾乎所有的葉子一樣掉了下來

and there's no way she photosynthesized

她也不可能進行光合作用

enough for the winter. (laughs)

足夠過冬。（笑）

- Probably.

- 也許吧

- She is definitely gonna ask us

- 她肯定會問我們

to get her through another cold season.

讓她度過又一個寒冷的季節。

(groans) Doesn't that make you so mad?

(呻吟)這不是讓你很生氣嗎？

- Nope, not really.

- 不，不是的。

- You'll never guess what

- 你絕對猜不到

I heard through the root system.

我通過根系聽說。

- No. Guess I wouldn't.

- 不，我想我不會。

- Well it's pretty juicy tea.

- 嗯，這是相當多汁的茶。

- Oh.

- 哦。

- Michelle, why are you acting weird?

- 米歇爾，你為什麼表現得很奇怪？

Michelle?

米歇爾？

Michelle?

米歇爾？

Michelle?

米歇爾？

Hello?

喂？

Michelle.

米歇爾

I know you can talk, Michelle.

我知道你會說話，米歇爾

We've talked our whole lives.

我們已經談了一輩子了。

Michelle?

米歇爾？

Michelle?

米歇爾？

Michelle?

米歇爾？

Grey Rocking is also supposedly a great technique

據稱，灰巖也是一個很好的技術

to use when you have to see a toxic person on the regular.

當你不得不經常去見一個有毒的人時，就可以使用。

Maybe you're co-parenting.

也許你們是共同育兒。

Maybe they're your family or a coworker.

也許他們是你的家人或同事。

Matt Morissette, a licensed clinical professional counselor,

馬特-莫里塞特，執業臨床專業諮詢師。

also says that grey rocking can help

還說，灰巖可以幫助

when someone you've broken up with

失戀時

or turned down for a date

或被拒絕約會

isn't quite getting the message.

是不太明白的資訊。

This technique reminds me a lot of the meme.

這種技術讓我想起了很多備忘錄。

Yes, honey, give us nothing.

是的，親愛的，什麼都不要給我們。

Oh my God I'm living for this lack of energy, baby.

哦，我的上帝，我為這種缺乏能量的生活，寶貝。

- Go, girl.

- 去吧，女孩。

- Yeah.

- 是啊。

- Look at that face.

- 看看那張臉。

Look at that flat line.

看那條平線。

Flat-line face.

平線面。

Flat-line face. - Flat-line face.

平線面。- 平線面。

Flat-line face. - Flat-line face.

平線面。- 平線面。

Flat-Line face.

平線面。

- Grey rocking is about disengaging, disconnecting,

- 灰色搖擺是為了脫離、脫離。

and offering nada.

並提供無。

So you can't feed any needs for drama or attention.

所以你不能滿足任何戲劇性和關注度的需求。

Some people (chuckles) even go as far

有些人(笑)甚至走到了

as recommending wearing boring clothes

俗話說："衣來伸手，飯來張口

and no jewelry to maximize your grey rock.

而沒有珠寶，以最大限度地提高你的灰巖。

Honestly it sounds like a hipster version

老實說，這聽起來像一個時髦的版本。

of Zen to me

禪宗對我來說

and I'm living for it.

我為它而活。

I am being the most boring grey rock

我是最無聊的灰石頭

I can possibly be

我可能是

with my friend turned enemy.

與我的朋友變成敵人。

I am stone, except for the fact

我是石頭，除了

that I'm making this video about it.

我正在做這個視頻，關於它。

But honestly, after a video we kept

但說實話，在一段視頻之後，我們一直

for like what a decade,

對於像什麼十年。

I have nothing left to talk

我沒什麼好說的了

about except stuff that's happening now.

除了現在發生的事情。

So we'll see how it goes.

所以，我們將拭目以待。

Here's a bid for content.

這裡是競價內容。

- Can you guess where I'm from?

- 你能猜到我是哪裡人嗎？

- Tree Tokyo?

- 東京樹？

(all laugh)

（眾笑）

- No.

- 不知道

Montree-al.

蒙特利爾。

- Oh. - Oh.

- 哦。- 哦。

- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

- 嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿。

You know my favorite part of history? (chuckles)

你知道我最喜歡的歷史部分嗎？（笑）

- What?

- 什麼？

- The Industree-al Revolution.

- 工業革命。

(trees cheer)

（樹木歡呼）

(horn blares)

（號角聲）

- You know what I want to abolish?

- 你知道我想廢除什麼嗎？

- What? - What?

- 什麼？- 什麼？

- The patriarchy.

- 父權制；

(crickets chirping)

（蟋蟀的鳴叫）

- Yeah smash the patriarchy!

- 是啊，打碎父權制！

- Tree-archy. - Patriarchy.

- 樹狀結構。- 父權制。

(horn blows)

（喇叭聲）

I'm Anna Akana and thank you to the patrons

我是安娜-阿卡納，感謝各位贊助人的支持。

who supported this video.

誰支持這個視頻。

And thank you to Audible for sponsoring today's episode.

並感謝Audible贊助今天的節目。

You can visit audible.com/anna

您可以訪問audible.com/anna

or text A-N-N-A to 500-500.

或發短信A-N-N-A到500-500。

With a 30-day free trial,

有30天的免費試用期。

you can get one audio book credit every month.

你可以每月獲得一個有聲讀物積分。

Good for any title

適合任何標題

in the entire premium selection

在整個溢價選擇中

of bestsellers, new releases, regardless of price,

的暢銷書、新書，無論價格。

to keep forever.

要永遠保存。

You also get full access to the plus catalog

您還可以完全訪問plus目錄

and can listen to thousands of included titles.

並可收聽上千種收錄的標題。

I obviously just listened "The Hidden Life of Trees."

我顯然剛聽過 "樹木的隱祕生命"。

What they feel, how they communicate,

他們的感受，他們的交流方式。

discoveries from a secret world by Peter Wohlleben.

彼得-沃勒本的《祕密世界的發現》。

And it was fascinating,

而且很吸引人。

as you can tell by

可見

the child tree costumes I immediately purchased.

兒童樹服裝我立即購買。

Now it's really fascinating to me

現在，它真的讓我著迷

because apparently a tree doesn't reach adulthood

因為顯然一棵樹是不會成年的

for about a century

一個世紀以來

and until then it'll kind of be in its mother's shadow.

在那之前，它將會在它母親的影子裡。

And the mom will control how much sunlight baby tree gets

而媽媽會控制樹寶寶獲得多少陽光。

so that it can't grow too fast.

以便它不能長得太快。

Talk about helicopter parenting.

談談直升機式育兒。

You can listen to "The Hidden Life of Trees," or more

你可以聽《樹的隱祕生命》，或者更多的是

by going to audible.com/anna

通過訪問audible.com/anna

or texting A-N-N-A to 500-500.

或發短信A-N-N-A到500-500。

Bye.

掰掰