SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND JON BATISTE.

向我們的朋友JON BATISTE問好。

JON, YOU AND THE BAND SOUND GREAT IN THOSE BUMPERS.

喬恩，你和樂隊的聲音偉大的在這些BUMPERS。

I NEED THE ENERGY.

我需要能量。

YOU GUYS ALWAYS BRING THE JOY.

你們總是帶來快樂。

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

你怎麼樣？

IT'S A VERY DARK TIME.

這是一個非常黑暗的時代。

>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT?

>> 喬恩，你知道嗎？你知道嗎？

IT'S NINE DAYS TILL INAUGURATION, BUT I KEEP

離就職典禮還有九天，但我一直在努力

THINKING, WE HAVE YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS OF WORK TO DO,

想著，我們還有一年又一年的工作要做。

SO I'M TRYING TO BUILD MYSELF UP TO DO THE WORK.

所以，我試圖建立自己做的工作。

THAT'S HOW I'M DOING.

我就是這樣做的。

>> Stephen: WELL, IF YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT THE WORK IS,

>> Stephen:好吧，如果你能搞清楚工作是什麼。

PLEASE GIVE ME AN ASSIGNMENT.

請給我一個任務。

IN THE MEANTIME, DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE OF THAT -- DO YOU HAVE ANY

同時，你還有沒有其他的... ...

MORE JOY IN YOUR FINGERTIPS YOU CAN SHARE WITH AMERICA?

更多的快樂在你的指尖，你可以與美國分享？

>> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS, ALWAYS.

>> 喬恩。哦，我的天啊，總是。

♪♪♪ >> Stephen: THANK YOU, JON.

>> 斯蒂芬:謝謝你，喬恩。

JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

JON BATISTE，每個人。

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN ACTOR, WRITER, DIRECTOR AND COMEDIAN.

我今晚的嘉賓是一位演員、作家、導演和喜劇演員。

PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," CHRIS ROCK!

請歡迎來到 "晚間秀"，克里斯-洛克！

HELLO, CHRIS ROCK.

你好, 克里斯-洛克.

>> WOW!

>> WOW!

NO MUSIC, NOTHIN'!

沒有音樂，什麼都沒有！

>> Stephen: NOPE.

>> Stephen:不

NOPE.

不

>> NOTHIN'!

>> 什麼都沒有！

>> Stephen: NO.

>> Stephen:號碼：

WELCOME TO THE DESERT.

歡迎來到沙漠

>> WOW!

>> WOW!

THOSE CHARLIE ROSE PILLS ARE KICKING IN, MAN!

這些查理-羅斯的藥丸正在起作用，夥計！

( LAUGHTER ) WOW!

（笑）哇！

>> Stephen: MM-HMM.

>> Stephen:MM -HMM。

IT'S LONELY OUT HERE.

這裡很孤獨。

>> WHOA HOA, HOA!

>> WHOA HOA, HOA!

>> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WEIRDEST PART IS?

>> 史蒂芬：你知道最奇怪的部分是什麼嗎？

AFTER TEN MONTHS, IT STOPS FEELING WEIRD.

十個月後，它停止感覺怪異。

THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TROUBLE.

那時候你就知道你有麻煩了。

THIS FEELS NORMAL NOW.

這感覺正常了。

>> YOU INTERVIEW GORBACHEV?

>> 你採訪高爾巴喬夫？

WHAT'S GOING ON?

發生了什麼事？

>> Stephen: IF WE PLUNGED EVERYTHING IN DARKNESS, WE WOULD

>> Stephen:如果我們把所有的東西都投入黑暗，我們將

DO THAT.

做到這一點。

THIS IS WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW"'S TINY DESK CONCERT WITH

這是歡迎來到 "晚間秀 "的小桌子音樂會，與 "晚間秀 "一起。

STEPHEN COLBERT AND CHRIS ROCK.

STEPHEN COLBERT AND CHRIS ROCK.

>> YES.

>> 是。

>> Stephen: CHRIS, I'M SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU ON.

>> 克里斯，我很高興有你在。

I'VE NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO INTERVIEW YOU BEFORE.

我以前從來沒有機會採訪你。

THANKS FOR BEING HERE.

謝謝你來這裡。

>> REALLY?

>> 真的嗎？

>> Stephen: NEVER.

>> Stephen:從來沒有。

WE'RE BOTH FROM SOUTH CAROLINA, IF THAT MEANS

我們都來自南卡羅來納州，如果這意味著...

ANYTHING.

任何事情。

>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW IF THAT DOES.

>> 斯蒂芬：我不知道如果這樣做。

LET'S INTO THAT FOR A SECOND.

讓我們來談談這個問題。

I DON'T KNOW IF THAT MEANS ANYTHING.

我不知道這是否意味著什麼。

PEOPLE SAY YOU MUST KNOW CHRIS ROCK, HE'S FROM SOUTH CAROLINA.

人們說你一定要認識克里斯・洛克，他來自南卡羅來納州。

I SAID, HE LEFT WHEN HE WAS PRETTY YOUNG AND, B, THE PEOPLE

我說過，他年輕的時候就離開了，而且，B，人們...

WHO SAY THAT HAVEN'T SPENT MUCH TIME IN SOUTH CAROLINA.

誰說沒有花太多時間在南卡羅萊納州。

THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THERE ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT

他們不明白有兩個非常不同的。

SOUTH CAROLINAs.

南卡羅萊納州：

>> VERY DIFFERENT.

>> 非常不同。

>> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW THE STATE MOTTO.

>> 你知道州政府的動機嗎？

>> WHAT IS THE STATE MOTTO, STEPHEN?

>> 什麼是國家動機，史蒂芬？

>> Stephen: IT IS DOOM SPIRO SPARROW, WHILE I BREATHE, I

>> Stephen:這是厄運，SPIRO SPARROW，當我呼吸，我。

HOPE.

希望：

>> OKAY.

>> OKAY。

>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT TOO BAD.

>> Stephen:這不是太糟糕了。

ONE OF THE THINGS I INTRODUCED YOU AS IS A WRITER, DIRECTOR,

我向你介紹的其中一件事就是，你是一個作家，導演。

PRODUCER AND COMEDIAN.

製作人和喜劇演員。

WHICH OF THOSE IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU?

其中哪一個對你來說最重要？

YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE.

你必須選擇一個。

>> CAPRICORN.

>>摩羯座。

>> Stephen: OKAY.

>> Stephen:好的

NO.

編號：

COMEDIAN.

他們在吃。

COMEDIAN IS MY, YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I'M IN THE TOP 20, WHERE I

喜劇演員是我的，你知道，我的意思是，我在前20名，我在哪裡？

WOULD BE IN THE TOP 700 ACTORS.

會在前700名演員中。

SO I WOULD RATHER BE, YOU KNOW --

所以，我寧願是，你知道 -

>> Stephen: AND THE COMEDY LEADS TO EVERYTHING ELSE.

>> 史蒂芬：而喜劇會導致其他的一切。

THAT'S THE NUCLEAR REACTOR THAT DRIVES THE WHOLE MACHINE.

這就是核反應器，驅動整個機器。

>> YES, HARD DOING COMEDY RIGHT NOW.

>> 是的，硬做喜劇現在。

>> Stephen: IT IS.

>> Stephen:它是。

THOUGH I SAW YOUR SPECIAL, AND TOTAL BLACKOUT, AND I WAS VERY

雖然我看到了你的特殊，和完全停電，我是非常

GRATEFUL FOR IT.

感謝它。

>> THANK YOU.

>> 謝謝你。

>> Stephen: IT'S FROM SOMEWHAT TO HAVE THE BEFORE TIMES.

>> Stephen:它從某種程度上說，要有以前的時代。

IT'S NOT FROM THIS MOMENT RIGHT NOW.

它不是從現在這個時刻。

>> NO.

>> NO.

>> Stephen: BUT I WAS GRATEFUL YOU WERE ABLE TO BE IN FRONT OF

>> Stephen:但我很慶幸你能站在我的面前

AN AUDIENCE.

一個聽眾。

I LOVED HEARING THAT LAUGHTER.

我喜歡聽那笑聲。

>> GOD GOD, I CAN'T WAIT, MAN!

>> 上帝啊，我等不及了，夥計！

I CAN'T WAIT!

我等不及了！

IT'S HARD DOING COMEDY.

做喜劇是很難的。

GOVERNMENT MUMFORD & SONS TAKING OVER THE CAPITOL.

MUMFORD & SONS政府接管了首都。

I'M, LIKE, IS THAT WINSTON?

我，喜歡，是溫斯頓？

THAT'S WINSTON!

這是溫斯頓！

WOW!

哇！

IT'S CRAZY, JUST THE WHOLE COUNTRY'S JUST LOSING IT!

太瘋狂了，整個國家的人都瘋了!

DID YOU SEE PELOSI ON "60 MINUTES" LAST NIGHT WHEN

你有沒有看到佩洛西在 "60分鐘 "昨晚，當

THEY ASKED HER ABOUT A.O.C.?

他們問她關於A.O.C.？

WHOA!

哇！

IT WAS LIKE ASKING NIKKI MY IMAGINE A CARDI B -- NICKY

這就像問NIKKI我的想象一個CARDI B -- NICKY。

MINAGE A CARDI B QUESTION.

MINAGE A CARDI B問題。

EGOT PLENTY OF EMCEES!

我有很多EMCEES！

FEELING REALLY OLD AND RICH RIGHT NOW.

感覺真的老了，有錢了，現在。

AND THEN PICKING UP THAT GIRL, MIA PONSETTO.

然後拿起那個女孩，MIA PONSETTO。

>> Stephen: THE ONE THAT GAYLE INTERVIEWED ABOUT THE PHONE?

>> 蓋爾採訪過的那個人，關於電話的事？

>> YEAH, GUESS WHAT?

>> 是啊，你猜怎麼著？

I GOT YOUR PHONE, BITCH!

我拿到了你的電話，婊子！

>> Stephen: IT WAS YOU?

>> Stephen:是你嗎？

IT WAS ME!

是我！

I TOOK IT AND I'M NEVER GIVING IT BACK!

我拿了它，我永遠不會把它還給你！

>> Stephen: ONE TO HAVE THETOMICS YOU COVER IN YOUR IN

>> 斯蒂芬：一個有你在你的IN中涵蓋的氣象學。

EFFECT SPECIAL IS THE WAY -- I MEAN, WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS

效果特別是方式 - 我的意思是，我們已經談到了這一點。

FOR YEARS, BE UH THE WAY BLACK PEOPLE ARE TREATED BY POLICE,

幾年來，就是黑人被警察對待的方式。

AND WHEN YOU LOOK AT -- COMPARE THE "BLACK LIVES MATTER"

當你看到 -- -- 比較 "黑人生活的重要性"

PROTESTS AND HOW THEY WERE TREATED AND HOW THE TROOPS WERE

抗議活動及其待遇和軍隊的待遇

BROUGHT OUT TO PROTECT THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL FROM BLACK

為保護林肯紀念館不被黑客攻擊而發出的。

PROTESTORS, AND THERE WERE TANKS IN THE STREETS OF VARIOUS TOWNS

抗議者，並在不同城鎮的街道上設有水桶。

INCLUDELE THE CAPITOL OF THE UNITED STATES, AND THEY WERE

包括美國的首都，而他們是

SHOOTING TEAR GAS AND RUBBER BULLETS, AND THEN YOU SEE THERE

射擊催淚瓦斯和橡皮子彈，然後你就會看到那裡。

IS THIS LIGHTWEIGHT REACTION TO ARMED MILITIAS, WHAT DOES THAT

這是對武裝軍事力量的輕度反應，這意味著什麼？

MAKE YOU THINK?

讓你覺得？

>> YEAH, WITH "BLACK LIVES MATTER," THEY HAD, LIKE, APACHE

>> 是啊，與 "黑人生活的重要性，"他們有，喜歡，APACHE。

HELICOPTERS, AND FOR THIS THERE WAS FOOD TRUCKS OUTSIDE!

直升機，併為此有食品卡車在外面！

IT WAS, LIKE, THEY WERE SELLING BURRITOS!

就像，他們在賣玉米餅！

I WAS, LIKE, WHAT WAS GOING ON?

我是，喜歡，什麼是怎麼回事？

IF POPCORN WAS BLACK, THEY'D NOT SELL IT IN THE MOVIE THEATERS.

如果爆米花是黑色的，他們就不會在電影院裡賣了。

YOU COULD SAY THAT.

你可以這樣說。

IF FRUIT WAS BLACK, YOU WOULD NOT PUT WHIPPED CREAM ON IT!

如果水果是黑色的，你就不會在上面塗抹發泡奶油了!

WHATEVER!

什麼的！

IF EMINEM WAS BLACK HE WOULD BE SACKING GROCERY.

如果EMINEM是黑人，他就會解僱雜貨店。

>> Stephen: I'LL MOVE ON TO THE NEXT QUESTION.

>> 史蒂芬：我將進入下一個問題。

I HAVE A SLIGHT BONE TO PICK WITH YOU.

我有一個小的骨頭和你挑。

>> WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO PICK WITH ME, STEPHEN?

>> 你要跟我挑什麼，史蒂芬？

>> Stephen: THIS RIGHT HERE.

>> Stephen:就在這裡。

THIS PHOTO FROM LAST FALL.

這張照片從去年秋天。

DO YOU SEE THAT?

你看到了嗎？

>> OH, YEAH.

>> 哦，是的。

>> Stephen: WE ARE ESSENTIALLY THE SAME AGE.

>> Stephen:我們本質上都是同齡人。

A, I DON'T BELIEVE A MAN IN HIS 50s SHOULD HAVE ABS, AND, B, I

A，我不相信一個50多歲的男人應該有ABS，而且，B，我... ...

FIND IT OFFENSIVE FOR A COMEDIAN TO BE SEXY.

覺得一個喜劇演員很性感是一種冒犯。

WHAT IS THE MEANING TO HAVE THIS, SIR?

擁有這個的意義是什麼，先生？

ANSWER FOR YOURSELF.

自己回答。

>> EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID, I DON'T KNOW HOW IT GOT THERE.

>> 你剛才說的每一句話，我都不知道它是怎麼來的。

I LEARNED HOW TO SWIM THIS SUMMER.

我學會了如何游泳這個夏天。

>> Stephen: OH.

>> Stephen:OH：

O IT WAS KIND OF LIKE ONE OF THESE WEIRD THINGS.

它有點像那些奇怪的東西。

IT WAS JUST A PRODUCT OF SWIMMING.

這只是游泳的產物。

>> Stephen: I ACTUALLY -- I WAS ACTUALLY NOT SURPRISED BY

>> Stephen:我實際上... ... 我實際上並不感到驚訝的

YOUR ABS, BECAUSE I'VE SEEN YOUR ABS.

你的ABS，因為我已經看到了你的ABS。

I'VE SEEN YOUR ABS IN PERSON.

我已經看到了你的ABS的人。

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE THAT IS?

你想知道它在哪裡嗎？

>> WHERE?

>> 在哪裡？

>> Stephen: I WAS AT A VERY NICE RESORT A FEW YEARS AGO,

>> 斯蒂芬：幾年前我在一個非常好的度假村。

DOWN IN THE CARIBBEAN, AND IT WAS A BRAND-NEW RESORT, AND I

在加勒比海，它是一個全新的度假村，而我...

DIDN'T KNOW IF IT WAS ANY GOOD, AND I'M SITTING THERE ON THE

我不知道它是否是好的，我坐在那裡的上

BEACH WITH MY FAMILY AND I LOOKED DOWN THE PEACH WITH AND I

和我的家人一起在海灘上，我和我的家人一起看了看桃花。

THOUGHT, OH, THIS MUST BE A VERY GOOD RESORT BECAUSE THAT'S CHRIS

我想，哦，這一定是一個非常好的度假勝地，因為那是克里斯。

ROCK ABOUT TEN CHAIRS AWAY FROM ME WITH AN EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE,

在離我十幾米遠的地方，用極富魅力的搖滾。

EXTREMELY YOUNG WOMAN.

非常年輕的女人。

DID YOU SEE ME?

你看到我了嗎？

>> THOSE WERE THE DAYS...

>> "那些日子...

>> Stephen: DID YOU SEE ME?

>> Stephen:你看到我了嗎？

I DON'T -- DID WE SPEAK?

我不... ... 我們說過了嗎？

DID WE?

是嗎？

>> Stephen: NO, PEOPLE SAID YOU SHOULD SAY HI TO HIM, YOU'RE

>> Stephen:不，人們說你應該向他問好，你是。

BOTH FROM IS SOUTH CAROLINA.

都來自是南卡羅來納州。

I SAID, NO, IT DOESN'T MATTER!

我說，不，這並不重要！

THAT DOESN'T COUNT!

那不算！

SO, NO, I DIDN'T GO OVER AND SAY HI.

所以，不，我沒有過去打招呼。

I WAS URGED TO.

我被敦促：

>> WE COULD HAVE HAD A PINA COLADA OR SOMETHING, THAT

>> 我們本來可以有一個皮納科拉達或什麼的，那

WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE.

本來是很好的。

I WATCH YOU ALL THE TIME.

我一直在看你。

>> Stephen: I LOVE WHAT YOU SAY IN THE SPECIAL ABOUT LANDING

>> 史蒂芬：我喜歡你在特別節目中說的關於登陸的內容。

TO GO TO A RESORT.

去度假村。

>> YEAH, JUST THAT RIDE, THERE'S NOTHING SCARIER THAN THE RIDE

>> 是的，只是那一程，沒有什麼比那一程更可怕的了。

FROM THE AIRPORT TO THE RESORT.

從機場到度假村。

YOU SEE THE WORST POVERTY IN THE WORLD, AND THEN, YOU KNOW, IT'S

你看到了世界上最糟糕的貧困，然後，你知道，它是

LIKE DEAD BABIES AND STUFF AND THEN YOU GET A PINA COLADA AND

像死了的嬰兒和東西，然後你得到一個皮納可樂酒和

YOU'RE LIKE, MMM, JAMAICA'S NICE!

你是喜歡，MMM，JAMAICA的好！

YOU FORGIVE EVERYTHING.

你原諒了一切。

IT'S SO SAD, STEPHEN.

真遺憾，史蒂芬。

IT'S SO SAD.

它是如此悲傷。

>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.

>> Stephen:我們必須要快速休息一下。

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE CHRIS ROCK!

我們會馬上回來的，有更多的克里斯-洛克！

♪♪♪

♪♪♪