Oh... hello.

喔... 哈囉。

Do it.

來吧！

Take a selfie.

來自拍。

Here?

這裡？

-In the bathroom? -Mm-hmm

-在廁所？-嗯哼

Isn't that a little narcissistic?

不會有點自戀嗎？

Selfies are empowering.

自拍使人感到自信與獨立。

They help young girls redefine the standards of beauty.

自拍幫助年輕女孩重新定義美的標準。

Oh, that's nice.

喔，那很好啊！

So stick out your tits and take a picture.

那就快把你的長輩挺出來拍張照。

Okay...

好...

Adorbz!

敲口愛！

I'm just concerning that this is gonna come across as like some pathetic plea for attention.

我只是在擔心，這會不會像是某種懇求他人注意的可悲行為。

Do you know what selfie stands for?

你知道 selfie 這個字代表什麼嗎?

Self-portrait.

自畫像。

Guess who does self-portraits?

猜猜看誰會畫自畫像。

Artists, like Van Gogh.

藝術家，例如梵谷。

And James Franco.

還有演員詹姆斯・法蘭科。

Astronauts take selfies.

太空人也會自拍。

In outer space, as they test the limits of mankind!

那是在外太空，當他們在挑戰人類極限時！

Not in the bathroom where they just took a shit.

才不是在剛大完便的廁所裡。

She made me second-guess my selfie.

她讓我覺得這不是一個好主意。

It's fine, no first draft ever made it to Instagram.

沒問題的，反正第一張自拍從來不會被 po 上 IG。

Just relax.

放鬆。

You know, let your body just fall the way it naturally does.

你知道，讓身體自然就好。

You can't post that.

你不能 po 這張！

You will look like a raging narcissist.

你會看起像個發瘋的自戀狂。

It's the Internet.

這是網路時代了！

Everyone does.

每個人都這樣！

Just hashtag "nomakeup" and text "some money to cancer".

你就 #素顏，再打上「捐錢給癌症病患」之類的話。

That's indulgences.

這只是在縱容自己。

Paying money to be relieved of guilt?

付點錢來免除罪惡感？

No one's gonna buy that.

沒人會接受的。

Why do you give such a fuck what other people think?

你為什麼這麼在乎別人的想法？

Uh... actually I don't give a fuck.

呃...其實根本我不在乎。

That's why I don't post selfies.

所以我才不 po 自拍照。

Well, I don't either.

這個嘛，我也不在乎。

And that's why I do.

所以我才愛 po 自拍。

I also don't give a fuck.

我也不在乎。

Fine.

隨便啦！

Make a weird face but caption it: "Being Silly. What is my life?"

扮個鬼臉，然後打上標題：「裝個傻，我人生怎麼搞的？」

What?

什麼？

No, cute weird.

不，我說的是可愛的鬼臉。

Stick your tongue out, but still have beautiful eyes.

吐舌頭，但仍然要有電眼。

Now look away like you don't know you are taking a picture of yourself.

現在眼睛看別處，好像你不知道自己在自拍一樣。

Does that make sense to you?

妳懂嗎？

What you just said?

妳剛剛說什麼?

Now hold up a sign about feminism, but still have great cleavage. [Feminism is awesome.]

現在拿起有關女性主義的牌子，但還是要露事業線。[女性主義最棒]

It's really starting to seem like you do give a fuck.

這看起來越來越像妳超級在乎別人的眼光。

Oh my God, adorbz.

噢天啊，敲口愛。

Just being a nerd, #nomakeup.

只是個呆子，#素顏。

No one's gonna fall for this.

才沒有人會相信咧！

I don't normally post selfies, but just being goofy, and living life LOL. #cancerresearch

我通常不 po 自拍照，但今天就當個瞎妹，爽爽過每一天。#癌症研究

Oh gross.

噢，真噁心。

Did you see Arence's selfie?

妳有看到 Arence 的自拍嗎？

She is such an attention whore.

她根本是個想吸引注意力的婊子。

It's like, stop shoving your face on my feed.

拜託不要一直出現在我動態上了。

[Adorbz.]

[超可愛的。]

Hey guys, if you liked this video click and subscribe, okay?

嗨，如果你喜歡這支影片，點擊追蹤好嗎？

Because these videos matter, we're here, right now, doing it, Kony 2012, gotta find him, where is he?

因為這些影片很重要，我們此時此刻正在努力做影片，Joesph Kony (Kony 2012 紀錄片的主角)，必須找到他，他在哪？

I dunno—he's the... bad guy?

我不知道，他超…超壞的…？

Gotta get at that rascal!

必須抓到那個惡棍！