字幕列表 影片播放
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[CollegeHumor Originals.]
[CollegeHumor 原創影片]
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Oh... hello.
喔... 哈囉。
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Do it.
來吧！
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Take a selfie.
來自拍。
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Here?
這裡？
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-In the bathroom? -Mm-hmm
-在廁所？-嗯哼
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Isn't that a little narcissistic?
不會有點自戀嗎？
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Selfies are empowering.
自拍使人感到自信與獨立。
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They help young girls redefine the standards of beauty.
自拍幫助年輕女孩重新定義美的標準。
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Oh, that's nice.
喔，那很好啊！
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So stick out your tits and take a picture.
那就快把你的長輩挺出來拍張照。
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Okay...
好...
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Adorbz!
敲口愛！
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I'm just concerning that this is gonna come across as like some pathetic plea for attention.
我只是在擔心，這會不會像是某種懇求他人注意的可悲行為。
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Do you know what selfie stands for?
你知道 selfie 這個字代表什麼嗎?
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Self-portrait.
自畫像。
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Guess who does self-portraits?
猜猜看誰會畫自畫像。
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Artists, like Van Gogh.
藝術家，例如梵谷。
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And James Franco.
還有演員詹姆斯・法蘭科。
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Astronauts take selfies.
太空人也會自拍。
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In outer space, as they test the limits of mankind!
那是在外太空，當他們在挑戰人類極限時！
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Not in the bathroom where they just took a shit.
才不是在剛大完便的廁所裡。
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She made me second-guess my selfie.
她讓我覺得這不是一個好主意。
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It's fine, no first draft ever made it to Instagram.
沒問題的，反正第一張自拍從來不會被 po 上 IG。
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Just relax.
放鬆。
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You know, let your body just fall the way it naturally does.
你知道，讓身體自然就好。
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You can't post that.
你不能 po 這張！
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You will look like a raging narcissist.
你會看起像個發瘋的自戀狂。
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It's the Internet.
這是網路時代了！
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Everyone does.
每個人都這樣！
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Just hashtag "nomakeup" and text "some money to cancer".
你就 #素顏，再打上「捐錢給癌症病患」之類的話。
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That's indulgences.
這只是在縱容自己。
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Paying money to be relieved of guilt?
付點錢來免除罪惡感？
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No one's gonna buy that.
沒人會接受的。
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Why do you give such a fuck what other people think?
你為什麼這麼在乎別人的想法？
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Uh... actually I don't give a fuck.
呃...其實根本我不在乎。
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That's why I don't post selfies.
所以我才不 po 自拍照。
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Well, I don't either.
這個嘛，我也不在乎。
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And that's why I do.
所以我才愛 po 自拍。
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I also don't give a fuck.
我也不在乎。
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Fine.
隨便啦！
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Make a weird face but caption it: "Being Silly. What is my life?"
扮個鬼臉，然後打上標題：「裝個傻，我人生怎麼搞的？」
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What?
什麼？
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No, cute weird.
不，我說的是可愛的鬼臉。
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Stick your tongue out, but still have beautiful eyes.
吐舌頭，但仍然要有電眼。
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Now look away like you don't know you are taking a picture of yourself.
現在眼睛看別處，好像你不知道自己在自拍一樣。
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Does that make sense to you?
妳懂嗎？
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What you just said?
妳剛剛說什麼?
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Now hold up a sign about feminism, but still have great cleavage. [Feminism is awesome.]
現在拿起有關女性主義的牌子，但還是要露事業線。[女性主義最棒]
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It's really starting to seem like you do give a fuck.
這看起來越來越像妳超級在乎別人的眼光。
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Oh my God, adorbz.
噢天啊，敲口愛。
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Just being a nerd, #nomakeup.
只是個呆子，#素顏。
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No one's gonna fall for this.
才沒有人會相信咧！
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I don't normally post selfies, but just being goofy, and living life LOL. #cancerresearch
我通常不 po 自拍照，但今天就當個瞎妹，爽爽過每一天。#癌症研究
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Oh gross.
噢，真噁心。
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Did you see Arence's selfie?
妳有看到 Arence 的自拍嗎？
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She is such an attention whore.
她根本是個想吸引注意力的婊子。
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It's like, stop shoving your face on my feed.
拜託不要一直出現在我動態上了。
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[Adorbz.]
[超可愛的。]
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Hey guys, if you liked this video click and subscribe, okay?
嗨，如果你喜歡這支影片，點擊追蹤好嗎？
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Because these videos matter, we're here, right now, doing it, Kony 2012, gotta find him, where is he?
因為這些影片很重要，我們此時此刻正在努力做影片，Joesph Kony (Kony 2012 紀錄片的主角)，必須找到他，他在哪？
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I dunno—he's the... bad guy?
我不知道，他超…超壞的…？
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Gotta get at that rascal!
必須抓到那個惡棍！
