GANG, IT IS OUR FINAL SHOW.

GANG，這是我們的最後一場演出。

I'M NOT GOING TO LIE, A FEW OF US HAVE HAD A DRINK.

我不想撒謊，我們中的一些人喝過酒。

YEAH YEAH.

YEAH YEAH。

>> James: AN WHEN I SAY A FEW OF US, I MOSTLY MEAN SUSAN.

>> 詹姆斯。當我說我們幾個人， 我MOSTLY ME SUSAN。

SUSAN IS-- YEAH, SUSAN IS BOOZEIN, SUSAN IS BOOZEIN HONESE

蘇珊是... 是的，蘇珊是BOOZEIN，蘇珊是BOOZEIN的HONESE

LEAST.

至少：

>> IF SHE WASN'T WEARING THAT FACE MASK YOU WOULD BE DRUNK AT

>> 如果她沒有戴著那張面膜，你就喝多了。

HOME JUST FROM THE FUMES.

剛從FUMES回家。

SO THAT'S THE MOOD WE'RE IN.

所以這就是我們現在的心情。

BUT YOU KNOW, THIS IS ALSO A SOMBER DAY.

但你知道，這也是一個SOMBER DAY。

WHAT A SHAME TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO 2020.

什麼是恥辱告別2020年。

(LAUGHTER) I WILL SAY IN THE SPIRIT OF 2020

(笑)我會在2020年的精神中說...

WE'VE DECIDED THAT TONIGHT'S SHOW IS GOING TO BE [BLEEP].

我們已經決定，今晚的節目將是[嗶]。

>> YEAH!

>> YEAH!

BUT THIS IS IT.

但這是它。

WE'RE OFF ON A BREAK FOR A FEW DAYS, ANY PLANS, WHAT ARE YOU

我們要休息幾天，你有什麼計劃嗎？

GOING TO DO.

去做。

>> Reggie: I'M GOING TO GO TO MONTANA.

>> 我要去蒙大拿了。

>> James: MONTANA.

>> 詹姆斯。蒙大拿州：

>> Reggie: YEAH, I WILL VISIT MY MOM.

>> 雷吉：是的，我會去看望我媽媽。

>> James: BEAUTIFUL, LOVELY UP THERE.

>> 詹姆斯。美麗的，可愛的在那裡。

>> Reggie: YEAH, IT WILL BE GREAT, HOPEFULLY SNOW.

>> 雷吉：是的，會很棒的，希望能下雪。

I LOVE ALL THAT STUFF, DRIVING IN, IT, I LIKE BLACK ICE.

我喜歡所有的東西， 開車，它，我喜歡黑冰。

>> James: DO YOU.

>> 詹姆斯。你呢？

>> ACTUALLY WEIRDLY I LOVE DRIVING IN DISASTROUS

>> 其實很奇怪，我喜歡在災難中開車。

CONDITIONS.

條件：

>> James: JUST TO LIVE A DAY IN THAT SORT OF HEAD SPACE.

>> 詹姆斯。只是為了生活一天 在這樣的頭空間。

WHAT ABOUT YOU, IAN, WHAT IS THE PLAN?

你呢，伊安，計劃是什麼？

>> I GOT THE NEW XBOX.

>> 我得到了新的XBOX。

OH YEAH.

哦，是的。

>> James: IT ARRIVED.

>> 詹姆斯。它到達了。

>> IT ARRIVED YESTERDAY.

>> 今天到了。

>> James: OKAY.

>> 詹姆斯。好的。

>> GOT THAT HOOKED UP.

>> 搞定了。

NBA SEASON IS COMING BACK AND I'M GOING TO TRY TO REPAIR MY

NBA賽季即將開始，我將嘗試修復我的。

RELATIONSHIP WITH WEED.

與雜草的關係。

>> YES!

>> 是！

>> AND TIME TIME STOPPED WORKING ON ME MADE ME PARANOID, I'M

>> 和時間時間停止工作在我身上，讓我PARANOID，我。

GOING TO GIVE TAY COLLEGE TRY AGAIN.

要給泰學院再試一次。

>> James: IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, WAIT, WHO, WHAT'S

>> 詹姆斯。如果第一次你沒有成功，等待，誰，什麼是？

GOING ON, AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.

繼續，一次又一次。

ANYONE KNOW WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING IN THE NEWS?

誰知道新聞裡發生了什麼？

(LAUGHTER) DOES ANYONE KNOW?

(笑)有人知道嗎？

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEAS?

有人有什麼想法嗎？

NO?

沒有？

ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING IN THE NEWS?

有人知道新聞裡發生了什麼事嗎？

>> I THINK BIDEN WON, I THINK.

>> 我想比登贏了，我想。

>> Reggie: YEAH.

>> 雷吉：YEAH。

>> James: WHAT?

>> 詹姆斯。什麼？

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

（歡呼聲和掌聲）：

>> Reggie: YEAH, SURPRISING,-- IT'S BIDEN, YEAH.

>> 是的，令人驚訝，--是比登，是的。

>> James: IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE NEWS I

>> 詹姆斯。如果你不知道新聞裡發生了什麼，我就會...

CAN FILL YOU IN RIGHT NOW.

現在就可以給你補上。

I GOT LOADS.

我有很多。

I HAVE LOADS.

我有很多。

>> Reggie: GO FOR IT.

>> 雷吉：去吧。

>> James: A TON OF NEWS BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT IT, IF NOT,

>> 詹姆斯。很多新聞，但只有當你想要它，如果不，

HAPPY TO IGNORE IT.

很高興能忽略它。

>> Reggie: I'M INTERESTED.

>> 我很感興趣。

>> Reggie: WHY NOT.

>> 雷吉：為什麼不呢。

>> James: THEN ARE YOU IN LUCK BECAUSE I CAN TELL YOU THAT VICE

>> 詹姆斯。那麼你是幸運的，因為我可以告訴你，副的。

PRESIDENT MIKE PENCE IS ABOUT TO FIND HIMSELF ON QUITE AN

米克-彭斯總統將發現自己正處於一個巨大的

UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION.

不舒適的環境。

ON JANUARY 6th HE HAS TO APPEAR IN FRONT OF CONGRESS TO

在1月6日，他必須在國會前出現，以

CONFIRM JOE BIDEN'S VICTORY OVERDONE ALD TRUMP.

證實喬-比登的勝利超過了阿爾德-特朗普。

WELL, WORD HAS JUST COME OUT THAT PENCE WILL THEN IMMEDIATELY

好吧，剛剛有消息說彭斯會馬上... ...

TRAVEL TO THE MIDDLE EAST TO AVOID THE WRATH OF TRUMP AND HIS

前往中東，以避免特朗普和他的憤怒。

SUPPORTERS.

支持者：

(LAUGHTER).

(笑)：

>> James: YOU KNOW THINGS ARE TURBULENT IN THE WHITE HOUSE

>> 詹姆斯你知道白宮裡的情況很不穩定。

WHEN YOU GO TO THE MIDDLE EAST FOR A BIT OF PEACE AND QUIET.

當你去中東尋求一點和平與寧靜時。

HE IS STOPPING IN BAHRAIN AND ISRAEL.

他將在巴哈林和以色列停留。

HE'S THEN HEADED OFF TO POLAND OS AR MIKE PENCE CALLS THAT, A

然後他就去了波蘭奧斯陸，麥克-彭斯說，這是個好主意

REAL TROPICAL GETAWAY.

真正的TROPICAL GETAWAY。

NOW POLAND USUALLY HAS QUITE A BIT OF SNOW THIS TIME OF YEAR SO

現在，波蘭每年這個時候通常都會有不少的雪，所以。

CHANCES ARE THIS IS WHAT MIKE PENCE WILL LOOK LIKE IN ALL OF

機會是這是邁克-彭斯在所有中的樣子。

HIS PHOTOS.

他的照片。

PEEK SPEAKS OF THE VICE PRESIDENT, PENCE SAID HE WILL BE

皮克談副總統，彭斯說他將是

RECEIVING THE COVID-19 VACCINE INFECTION-- INJECTION TOMORROW

接受COVID-19疫苗注射--明天注射。

LIVE ON TELEVISION.

在電視上直播。

YEAH, I KNOW.

是的，我知道。

THIS IS THE ONE TIME HE WILL ALLOW PENETRATION OUTSIDE OF

這是他唯一一次允許在境外使用網絡。

MARRIAGE.

婚姻：

(LAUGHTER) NOW AS YOU KNOW THE VACCINE HAS

現在，你知道疫苗已經

TO BE KEPT AT SUPER COLD TEMPERATURES SO I'M SURE IT IS

要保存在超冷的溫度，所以我敢肯定，它是。

GOING TO DO JUST FINE INSIDE MIKE PENCE.

在MIKE PENCE的內部會做得很好的

HERE IS MY THINKING ON THIS.

這是我的想法。

IF HE DIDN'T GET THE VIRUS AFTER TEN MONTHS INSIDE THE WHITE

如果他在白宮裡呆了十個月還沒有感染病毒的話。

HOUSE, I DON'T THINK HE SHOULD BE GETTING IT, I THINK HE WILL

房子，我不認為他應該得到它，我想他會得到的。

BE FINE.

是好的。

WE SHOULD BE INJECTING MIKE PENCE INTO EVERYBODY ELSE.

我們應該把邁克-彭斯注入其他人的體內

BUT PENCE WILL PUBLICLY RECEIVE THE VACCINE TO PROMOTE ITS

但彭斯將公開接受疫苗，以促進其發展。

SAFETY AND BUILD CONFIDENCE AMONG THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

安全和建立美國人民的信心；

AND NOTHING PROMOTES CONFIDENCE QUITE LIKE GETTING THE VACCINE

沒有什麼能比打疫苗更能增強自信了

AND THEN IMMEDIATELY FLEEING THE COUNTRY.

然後立即逃離這個國家。

MEANWHILE THE COVID VACCINE CONTINUES TO ROLL OUT THROUGHOUT

同時，COVID疫苗繼續在全國範圍內推廣。

THE UNITED KINGDOM.

聯合王國：

TODAY IT WAS FOR IAN McKELLEN'S TURN, HERE HE IS

今天輪到IAN McKELLEN了，他在這裡。

GETTING HIS FIRST DOSE.

得到他的第一劑。

THIS IS E SLENLT NEWS.

這是E SLENLT新聞。

EXCELLENT NEWSES.

優秀的新聞。

SIR IAN McKELLEN IS THE MOST SEJ NONESSENTIAL WORKER.

IAN McKELLEN爵士是最SEJ無意義的工作者。

ST BEAUTIFUL THAT HE GOT THE VACCINE BUT I JUST WANT TO SAY,

ST美麗的，他得到了疫苗，但我只想說：

CUZ I KNOW HE'S WATCHING, LATCH (LAUGHTER)

因為我知道他在看，抓緊了

>> NEVER MISSES AN EPISODE, DID YOU KNOW THAT, I GET A TEXT AT

>> 從來沒有錯過任何一集，你知道嗎，我得到一個文本在。

THE END OF EVERY SHOW FROM SIR IAN McKELLEN WHO SAYS BEST ONE

IAN McKELLEN爵士的每場演出結束後，他說："最好的一場

YET.

是的

I DO WANT TO SAY SIR IAN, YOU ARE 81 YEARS OLD T IS THE MIDDLE

我想說，艾恩先生，你已經81歲了，現在是中年了

OF DECEMBER, THAT SCARF WITH A T-SHIRT IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT,

十二月的時候，那條圍巾和T-shirt是不會被淘汰的。

IAN, SIR IAN McKELLAN ENHAD A VACCINE WHERE ARE YOU ON THE

艾恩，艾恩-麥凱倫先生，艾恩-麥凱倫先生，艾恩-麥凱倫先生，艾恩-麥凱倫先生，艾恩-麥凱倫先生，艾恩-麥凱倫先生。

LIST OF IANS TO GET A VACCINE.

IANS名單，以得到VACCINE。

WHICH IAN IS IN FRONT OF YOU.

其中，伊安是在你面前。

>> I GO AFTER McSHANE SO IAN McSHANE AND THEN ME, AND THEN

>> 我在麥尚之後，所以伊安-麥尚，然後是我，然後是... ...

THAT KID FROM YOUNG SHELDON.

小謝爾頓的那個孩子

SZ.

SZ。

>> James: CAN I BE HONEST, I THINK THE NETWORK WOULD DISAGREE

>> James:我可以說實話嗎，我想網絡會不同意的。

WITH THAT.

與此。

SOME GOOD NEWS HERE ON THE VACCINE FRONT HERE IN AMERICA.

一些好消息在這裡對 疫苗前線這裡在美國。

YOU KNOW THAT THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF CONCERN ABOUT A SHORTAGE.

你知道很多人都在擔心缺貨的問題。

WELL MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS JUST DISCOVERED THAT PFIZER'S VACCINE

醫學專家們剛剛發現，PFIZER的疫苗。

VIELS CONTAIN ONE OR TWO MORE DOSES THAN THEY PREVIOUSLY

疫苗比以前多了一到兩個劑量。

THOUGHT.

思想。

LOOK AT THAT.

看看這個。

ON THE LAST NIGHT OF HANUKKAH.

在哈努卡的最後一夜，

THEY HAD THE VIEL TRK LASTED LONGER, IT SAY HANUKKAH MIRACLE.

他們有VIEL TRK持續更長時間，它說HANUKKAH奇蹟。

I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THIS.

我不確定這個。

I DON'T KNOW THAT WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO RECEIVE A BRAND NEW

我不知道，當你要收到一個全新的... ...

LIFESAVING VACCINE THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR

拯救生命的疫苗，你真的想看醫生。

BEING LIKE, HANG ON A MINUTE.

是喜歡，掛在一個分鐘。

IT SAYS SIX, WE CAN DO SEVEN, I THINK THAT SHOULD DO IT.

上面寫著6個，我們可以做7個，我想這樣就可以了。

>> AND WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS.

>> 我們想給你看這個。

A FAMILY IN SCOTLAND HAD A SURPRISING CHRISTMAS EXPERIENCE

蘇格蘭的一個家庭度過了一個令人驚訝的聖誕體驗。

THE OTHER DAY AFTER LEAVING THEIR DOOR OPEN, A HAWK FLEW

開門的前一天，有一隻鷹飛了過來。

INTO THEIR HOME AND PERCHED IN THEIR TREE.

進入他們的家，在他們的樹上棲息。

HERE IT IS HERE.

在這裡，它是。

NOT A CREATURE WAS STIRRING, NOT EVEN A MOUSE.

沒有一個生物在動，連一隻老鼠都沒有。

CUZ THERE'S A HAWK IN THE TREE.

因為樹上有隻鷹。

A HAWK LANDED IN THEIR CHRISTMAS TREE, THOUGH THE KIDS IN THE

一隻鷹落在他們的聖誕樹上，雖然孩子們在聖誕樹上。

HOUSE WERE PRETTY UNGRATEFUL.

House WERE PRETTY UNGRATEFUL。

THEY WERE LIKE WELL I ASKED FOR A FALCON.

他們就像... ...好吧，我問了一隻獵鷹。

NOW I JUST CAN'T STOP MANCHING THAT HAWK TALKING WITH A

現在，我只是不能停止 MANCHING那隻鷹說話的一個。

SCOTTISH ACCENT.

蘇格蘭口音：

STOP Y ER WE WALLOWING.

停止你呃我們打呼嚕。

THAT'S THE ONLY THING CAN I SAY IN SCOTTISH BECAUSE I USED TO

那是我唯一能用蘇格蘭語說的東西，因為我曾經說過。

HAVE-- WHEN I WORKED AT THE SUPERMARKET MY BOSS THERE WAS

我在超級市場工作的時候，我的老闆就在那裡

SCOTTISH AND I WOULD WORK ON SATURDAY AND HE WOULD SAY KIDS

SCOTTISH和我將工作在星期六，他將說孩子們。

CAN YOU WATCH-- AND I WOULD SAY YEAH, YEAH, I CAN, OH, I CAN'T,

你可以看 -- 我會說是的，是的，我可以， 哦，我不能。

I'VE GOT TO PRACTICE FOR A SHOW.

我得去練習表演了。

AND HE [BLEEP] DO THAT, PLEASE.

和他[BLEEP]做到這一點，請。

DON'T [BLEEP] DO THAT, GET ME YOU-- YOU KNOW, WHAT ELSE HE DID

別這樣，幫我找你... 你知道，他做了什麼嗎？

TO ME, ONE OF MAY JOBS WAS I HAD TO CLEAN THE FREEZER WITH THIS

對我來說，我的工作之一是我必須用這個來清洗冰櫃。

WIRE BRUSH ON A SATURDAY AFTERNOON, I WOULD JUST HAVE TO

在一個週六的下午，我必須要刷線。

CLEAN.

清潔。

AND THERE WOULD BE LIKE HALF AND LAMB AND LIKE, JUST MEAT,

而且會有像半邊羊肉和羊肉一樣，只是肉。

DISGUSTING.

噁心。

AND THE DOOR IF YOU SHUT THE DOOR IT HAD A GLOW IN THE DARK

還有那扇門，如果你關上它，它就會在黑暗中閃亮。

HANDLE THAT YOU WOULD PUSH TO OPEN AND SET, THIS FREEZER WAS

手柄，你可以推開和設置，這個冷凍機是。

SO OLD, IT HAD ALL WARN AWAY, SO I WOULD GO IN AND PROBABLY TWICE

太老了，它有所有的警告，所以我會進去，可能兩次... ...

A SHIFT THEY WOULD SHUT THE DOOR AND I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SEE ME

他們會把門關上，我就看不到我了。

WAY OUT AND I WOULD JUST BE WALKING INTO CARCASSES OF

出去，我就會走到屍體裡去。

ANIMALS.

動物：

AND I WOULD COME OUT AND THEY WOULD JUST THINK IT WAS

我出來後，他們就會認為這是個好主意

HILARIOUS.

荒誕不經。

HA HA HA, GET BACK IN THERE YOU FAT.

哈哈哈哈，回去吧，你這個胖子。

>> BUT I WILL SAY THE JOKE IS ON THEM BECAUSE ON MY LAST DAY I

>> 但我要說的是，他們在開玩笑，因為在我最後一天，我。

ACTUALLY STOLE QUITE A LOT OF PRODUCT.

實際上偷了不少產品。

I WALKED OUT OF THERE WITH A BACKPACK SO FULL OF BOOZE, SOLD

我帶著一個裝滿酒的揹包離開了那裡，賣掉了。

IT ALL AT SCHOOL.

都在學校。

AND FINALLY WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS.

最後我們想給你看這個。

TWO POLICE OFFICERS IN PERU RECENTLY WERE SUR VAILING A

你的警察在祕魯最近被偷襲了。

SUSPECTED DRUG DEALER WHILE UNDER SCOFER.

被懷疑是毒品販子，而在SCOFER下。

AND THEY ENDED UP MAKING THE ARREST DRESSED IN FULL COSTUME

他們最後還穿上全套服裝去抓人。

AS SANTA CLAUS AND AN ELF.

作為聖誕老人和一個ELF。

DO YOU THINK THEY FOUGHT OVER WHO WOULD BE THE SANTA AND WHO

你認為他們是否爭論過誰是聖誕老人，誰是... ...

WOULD BE THE ELF?

會是ELF嗎？

YOU KNOW, THERE IS NO SMALL PARTS BUT ONE IS SANTA AND ONE

你知道，沒有小的部分，但一個是聖誕老人，一個是

IS AN ELF.

是一個ELF。

AFTER THE ARREST THE SUSPECT WAS IMMEDIATELY LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS I

被捕後，嫌疑人馬上就像過聖誕節一樣，我。

WOULD LIKE TO BE RELEASED EARLY FROM CUSTODY AND SANTA WAS LIKE

想早點被釋放 從CUSTODY和聖誕老人是喜歡。

DAMMIT, RULES ARE RULES, LET HIM GO.

該死的，規則就是規則，讓他走吧。

AND THIS WAS NICE, THEY ARE ACTUALLY ALREADY MAKING A SHOW

而這是很好的，他們實際上已經在做一個節目。

INSPIRED BY THE INCIDENT CLAUSEE & ORDER.

靈感來自於《事故索賠人與命令》。