You have an amazing friend and they have a partner who you do not really like.

你有一個很棒的朋友，但他們有一個你並不喜歡的另一半。

Do you just be nice about your tongue?

你會管住自己的嘴巴嗎？

Do you vocalize your opinion?

還是會發表自己的意見呢？

Well, the first thing is to figure out why you do not like them.

首先要弄清楚自己為什麼不喜歡他們。

'Cause if you feel upset because your friend is no longer available to you, because their time is now divided between you and their partner, that has nothing to do with their relationship and everything to do with your own insecurity.

因為如果你是出於朋友不再與你聯繫而感到不安、出於他們的時間必須在你和他們的伴侶之間分配，那這與他們之間的愛情無關，而是與你自己的不安全感有關。

And if that's the case, then it's time for you to work on you by strengthening other support systems, picking up hobbies and sometimes speaking up if your friend is the kind of person who gets lost in a relationship and totally neglects their friendships.

如果是這樣的話，那麼你就應該在你身上下功夫了，加強其他的友誼、拾起興趣愛好，如果你的朋友是那種在感情中迷失方向，完全忽視朋友關係的人，有時候也可以說出來。

I used to be that girl, so call me out if I do it.

我曾經是那種女孩，所以我陷進去的時候記得拉我一把。

But maybe you don't like this person because you genuinely think that they're a bad fit for your friend.

但也許你不喜歡這個人，是因為你真的認為他們不適合你的朋友。

In this case, you can say something, but make sure that your opinion is not one rooted in judgment.

在這種情況下，你就可以說些什麼，但要確保你的意見不是批評而已。

Judgment is like:

批評是像這樣：

Your boyfriend is a dick.

你的男友是個混蛋。

Versus,

對比：

I just feel really uncomfortable when I see him act like that.

當我看到他那樣做時，我真的感到很不舒服。

Judgment:

批評：

Your boyfriend is a dick.

你男友是個混蛋。

Versus,

對比：

His behavior really concerns me.

他的行為讓我很擔心。

It's also helpful to point out specifics about problematic behavior rather than blanket statements.

指出有問題的行為的細節，而不是籠統的陳述也很有幫助。

So a generalization would be:

如果很籠統的說會像這樣：

Your boyfriend is a, you guessed it, dick.

你男友是個，你猜對了，是個混蛋。

Versus,

對比：

He just made no attempt to meet you halfway, and you're such a generous person that I can't even imagine you exhibiting that kind of selfishness, you know.

他根本沒有嘗試要見你，而且你是一個如此大方的人，我無法想像你會表現出這種自私的行為。

And I just worry about you being emotionally neglected in this relationship, but how do you feel?

我只是擔心你在這段感情中被忽視了，但你自己怎麼想呢？

But ultimately this is your friend's relationship.

但最終這是你朋友的愛情。

So before you even bring it up, I would think long and hard about why you feel this way, whether or not your friend would even be receptive to hearing your opinion and the extent of the behavior that you're witnessing.

所以在提出意見之前，我會仔細思考為什麼會有這種感覺、朋友是否會接受自己的意見以及自己目睹的行為。

'Cause everyone has flaws and all relationships are gonna come with their own set of problems.

因為每個人都有缺陷，所有的戀愛關係都會有他們自己的問題。

No one's perfect, and usually your friend is willing to accept some negative behavior in exchange for all of the positive benefits in that relationship that you may not be witnessing.

沒有人是完美的，通常你的朋友願意接受一些負面的行為，以換取你可能沒有看到，但存在於那段關係中的所有正面事情。

'Cause even if he is a dick, he's probably using that dick in a way that makes her feel great.

因為就算他是個混蛋，他可能也會用這個他的小雞雞讓她感覺很棒。（dick 也指男生的性器官）

All you can do is be supportive, kind and honest when it calls for it.

你能做的就是在需要的時候給予支持、友善和誠實。

I'm Anna Akana.

我是 Anna Akana。

Stay awesome, Gotham.

繼續保持，高譚市人。