Big news.

大新聞。

Look at this scene.

看看這一幕。

This our bar is sponsored by Jose Cuervo.

我們的這個酒吧是由何塞-奎爾沃贊助的。

Look at that, Josie.

看看，喬西

Yeah.

是啊。

Pete is over the moon.

皮特很高興

Pete is absolutely over the moon.

皮特絕對是喜出望外。

I never seen Pete so happy.

我從沒見過皮特這麼開心

It's only fitting that Jose Cuervo sponsoring the bar since their tequila, has sponsored all of our 2020.

這是唯一合適的Jose Cuervo贊助酒吧，因為他們的龍舌蘭酒，已經贊助了我們2020年的所有。

It's Chris, easy to drink, Great to share with friends.

這是克里斯，很容易喝，很適合和朋友分享。

And I hope everybody in the studio had some because I'll be honest, it will make these jokes.

我希望工作室裡的每個人都有一些，因為我說實話，它會讓這些笑話。

I'm about to do seem funnier thin to this gang today.

我今天就要做似乎更有趣的薄到這幫人。

The United Kingdom started giving out the co vid 19 vaccine.

英國開始發放19號疫苗。

Yeah, a 90 year old woman in England became the first person in the world.

是啊，英國一位90歲的老太太成了世界第一人。

Thio get the shot and it was just in time because she's going to see the chain smokers live next week.

Thio得到的鏡頭，這是及時的，因為她下週要去看鏈式吸菸者的現場。

Here she is here, right after she got her vaccine.

她在這裡，剛打完疫苗。

What do you say to those who might be having second thoughts about having this?

你對那些可能有二心想要生這個的人怎麼說？

Well, I'd say go for it, Go for it because it's it's free.

好吧，我想說的是，去吧，去吧，因為它是免費的。

If I can do it well, so can you.

如果我能做好，你也可以。

If I can do it, so can you.

如果我能做到，你也可以。

Which is the polite way of saying, Don't be a dick, Just get the shop.

這是禮貌的說法，不要做一個傢伙，只是得到的商店。

I also love that she's like, Go for it.

我也喜歡她的樣子，去吧。

It's free is free.

它的免費是免費的。

Yeah, she's basically sounds like my inner voice at a restaurant.

是啊，她的聲音基本上就像我在餐廳裡的聲音。

Every time I ask for another round of bread, it's free.

每次我要求再吃一輪麵包，都是免費的。

The second person to get the vaccine today was an 81 year old English man named and I promised we're not making this up.

今天第二個打疫苗的是一位81歲的英國老人，名叫，我保證我們不是在瞎編。

William Shakespeare.

William Shakespeare.

Yeah, this is This is the British version of Michael B.

是啊，這就是英國版的邁克爾-B。

Jordan that why would his parents name him that No.

喬丹說，為什麼他的父母會給他取這個名字呢？

One, no one can live upto William Shakespeare's name.

一、沒有人可以辜負威廉-莎士比亞的名字。

People are gonna be like.

人們會喜歡。

So I was reading some of Shakespeare's greatest works, and they're like, Hang on!

所以我讀了一些莎士比亞最偉大的作品，他們就像，等一下!

Sorry which Shakespeare you're talking about the playwright or the lorry driver.

對不起，你說的莎士比亞是指劇作家還是貨車司機？

Now, as you know, the PlayStation five is the hottest item of the season.

現在，如你所知，PlayStation 5是本季最熱門的項目。

Well, hundreds of shoppers camped out outside of a WalMart in Michigan the other night in sub zero temperatures, and when the store opened, they rushed inside, only to find there were never any PlayStations in star I know bar.

好吧，前幾天晚上，在密歇根州的一家沃爾瑪外，數百名購物者在零下的溫度下露營，當商店開張時，他們衝進店內，卻發現星我知道吧裡從來沒有任何PlayStations。

They discovered something even more valuable.

他們發現了更有價值的東西。

The rial PS five was the friendships that they made along the way.

rial PS五是他們一路走來的友誼。

Theo Walmart didn't have the PS five in stock, but luckily, they did have plenty of Christmas themed toilet paper with I'm serious cartoons of Santa relieving himself into someone's chimney.

西奧沃爾瑪沒有PS五的庫存，但幸運的是，他們有很多聖誕主題的衛生紙，上面有我認真的聖誕老人往別人煙囪裡解手的漫畫。

What's what?

什麼是什麼？

Is this where we're at now?

這就是我們現在的情況嗎？

Is this where we're at now?

這就是我們現在的情況嗎？

This is it.

就是這裡了

Like, you know that that took so much.

就像，你知道，這花了這麼多。

Someone drew that.

有人畫的。

Yeah, it was someone's job to draw that.

是啊，這是某一個人的工作，畫的。

Do you want to leave a dinner, babe?

你想留下一頓晚餐嗎，寶貝？

No.

不知道

I'm gonna wanna finish this.

我想完成這個。

And then while you're working on, I'm working on the Walmart thing.

然後當你在工作的時候，我在研究沃爾瑪的事情。

You know the sketch.

你知道草圖。

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的。

It's for the toilet paper.

這是給衛生紙用的。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Yeah.

是啊。

What is it?

什麼事？

It's Santa Taking it in the chimney.

是聖誕老人把它帶進煙囪裡了

A 2020.

A 2020.

A strong man dressed as Santa has just set a new world record for heaviest sleigh pulled The man pulled a flatbed truck loaded up with a sleigh reindeer statues and presents the weight over £36,000.

一個強壯的男人打扮成聖誕老人剛剛創造了一個新的世界紀錄，最重的雪橇拉該男子拉了一輛平板車，裝滿了雪橇馴鹿雕像和禮物，重量超過36000英鎊。

In other news, eight reindeer just officially lost their jobs.

另一個消息是，八隻馴鹿剛剛正式失業。

I don't like these strongman competitions.

我不喜歡這些強人比賽。

Like where the competitions for the sensitive man.

像哪裡的競爭敏感的人。

Gentlemen, there's never competitions for men who are great going you know.

先生們，從來沒有競爭的男人誰是偉大的去你知道。

Look, it's not about me.

聽著，這不是關於我的。

How was your day?

你今天過得怎麼樣？

H It's gonna be OK.

會沒事的

I'll run your bath.

我幫你洗澡

I'll make you some avocado toast.

我給你做一些牛油果吐司。

But it is impressive.

但它是令人印象深刻的。

If you wonder how Santa got that strong.

如果你想知道聖誕老人怎麼會那麼強壯。

It's all part of a new workout craze sweeping the country.

這都是席捲全國的新鍛鍊熱潮的一部分。

It's called clothes Fit.

這就是所謂的衣服Fit。

A list was just released of 20 twenties.

剛剛公佈了一份名單，是20個20歲的人。

Most mispronounced words.

最容易唸錯的字。

Apparently the words most commonly mispronounced this year were Fauci, Carmela on Divinci on specifically the way that I say Car keys.

顯然，今年最常唸錯的詞是Fauci，Carmela on Divinci on specifically the way that I say Car keys。

Now when I should I understand.

現在，當我應該我明白。

You don't know what I mean.

你不知道我的意思。

You think I just said Car keys?

你以為我剛才說的是車鑰匙？

As in starting a car?

如同啟動汽車？

I don't We call car keys.

我不知道，我們叫車鑰匙。

What?

什麼？

That's what.

那是什麼。

To me.

對我來說

That's what Steve Kornacki wears on his bottom half.

這就是史蒂夫-科納基下半身穿的衣服。

You call them khakis?

你叫他們卡其褲？

That's right, Right?

是的，對吧？

Yeah, that's that's what we call them.

是的，我們就是這麼叫他們的。

What?

什麼？

What if, like, your wife doesn't know where her car keys are?

如果，比如，你的妻子不知道她的車鑰匙在哪裡呢？

And she left him in her khakis.

而她穿著卡其布褲離開了他。

Well, what like?

嗯，什麼樣子？

Well, I think I had enough foresight to not map to know, you know, marry a life partner who would wear car keys.

好吧，我想我有足夠的先見之明，不地圖知道，你知道，嫁給一個會戴車鑰匙的生活伴侶。

So but Fauci, Camilla and DaVinci, I don't wanna point fingers and anyone who may have contributed to those mispronunciations this year.

所以，但Fauci，Camilla和DaVinci，我不想指責和任何人誰可能導致這些錯誤發音今年。

But I do think played a part in it.

但我覺得也有一部分原因。

It's a It's a list of words.

這是一個它是一個單詞的列表。

This this list is a list of words that Americans most commonly mispronounced.

這個這個列表是美國人最常唸錯的單詞列表。

But as a Brit who speaks the Queen's English, I must say 90% of words that you speak in America are mispronounced.

但作為一個說著女王英語的英國人，我必須說，你們在美國說的90%的單詞都是讀錯的。

Okay, let's do a little quiz.

好吧，我們來做個小測驗。

Okay?

好嗎？

In Reg, I will show you something and you say what it is.

在Reg中，我會給你看一些東西，你說是什麼。

Okay, so take a look at this.

好吧，所以看看這個。

This exciting, Do you know?

這麼刺激，你知道嗎？

Like so what's that?

那是什麼？

Yogurt Correct.

酸奶正確。

Yogurt.

酸奶。

Incorrect.

不正確。

Okay, You're right, Reg.

好吧，你是對的，Reg。

It's a yogurt.

這是一種酸奶。

It's not a yogurt.

這不是酸奶。

It's a yogurt.

這是一種酸奶。

All right, I know why I'm I'm not eating that.

好吧，我知道為什麼我... ...我不吃那個。

So Alright, what about this one Zebra?

那麼好吧，這個斑馬怎麼樣？

You're right.

你是對的

What is it in?

它在什麼地方？

Yes, is a zebra No zebra?

是，是斑馬不是斑馬？

Uh, zebra.

呃，斑馬。

What we call a jazz horse.

我們稱之為爵士馬。

Only one late night show, frankly had the courage to bring you this next story.

只有一個深夜節目，坦然有勇氣給你帶來接下來的這個故事。

Kung fu experts in the central Chinese village are trying to save a tradition that they are concerned is quickly fading away.

中國中部村莊的功夫專家們正試圖拯救他們所擔心的正在迅速消失的傳統。

It's known as iron crotch kung fu.

這就是所謂的鐵襠功。

Take a look.

看看吧

You might figure out why e I mean, that is nuts.

你可能會發現為什麼我的意思是，這是瘋了。

E.

E.

I had to guess.

我不得不猜。

I think the art form might be dying out because none of these guys can procreate.

我覺得這種藝術形式可能正在消亡，因為這些人都不會生育。

How did you even discover that you're good at this?

你是怎麼發現自己擅長這個的？

I think I do.

我想是的

I think I might think someone did it accidentally.

我想我可能認為是有人不小心做的。

They're walking through is like a they want to start out like No, it's kung fu crotch king That works great.

他們走過就像一個他們想開始像不，這是功夫胯下王，效果很好。

But the masters of this tradition, they're getting pretty depressed.

但這個傳統的高手，他們卻變得很鬱悶。

I have to say about the lack of interest in this for the guys walking around like a bunch of sad sacks.

我不得不說，對於這群像一群悲哀的麻袋一樣走來走去的傢伙來說，缺乏興趣。

But to help raise awareness, they're actually making a movie about that guy.

但為了提高人們的認識，他們居然在拍一部關於那個人的電影。

It's called Crouching Tiger Baltar Dragons.

這叫臥虎巴爾塔龍。