Huh. -Ha

咦。-哈

- Now, heroes are so annoying. - I know, right.

- 現在，英雄是如此煩人。 - 我知道，對。

Especially when they happen to be your perfect brother.

尤其是當他們恰好是你的完美兄弟時。

So then what did you do?

那你做了什麼？

Had to help Thor fight that stupid elf and then return to my cell in Asgard.

不得不幫助托爾打那個愚蠢的精靈，然後回到我在阿斯加德的牢房。

- Oh that's terrible. - I know! I really thought I had it all in the bag, too.

- 哦，那是可怕的。 - 我知道！我真的以為我有這一切在包裡，太。

Was going to fool everyone, take Odin's throne as my own. Everyone would have been like:

本來想騙過所有人，把奧丁的寶座當成自己的。每個人都會喜歡。

"Sayeth what? Where's Odin? That's so evil."

"說什麼？奧丁呢？太邪惡了"

- I always like Odin . - You would.

- 我一直喜歡奧丁 - 你會喜歡的

So how did you escape?

那你是怎麼逃出來的？

- Magic, duh. - I love magic tricks. You want to see this pencil disappear?

- 魔術，咄。 - 我喜歡魔術。你想看這支鉛筆消失嗎？

Hey Loki, thanks for hogging my spotlight, you jerk.

嘿，洛基，謝謝你搶了我的風頭，你這個混蛋。

Hey, why don't you try to steal some magic gas that no one cares about, Malekith?

嘿，你為什麼不試著去偷一些沒人關心的魔氣呢，馬利基斯？

I'm totally going to control the darkness and rule the universe.

我完全要控制黑暗，統治宇宙。

You were foiled by two human scientists and two brainless interns carrying nothing but tripods.

你們被兩個人類科學家和兩個沒腦子的實習生挫敗了，他們只帶著三腳架。

- So? - So good day.

- 所以呢？

- Amateur. - Noob thinks because he has an army he's automatically The Next Big Thing.

- 業餘的。 - 無名小卒以為擁有一支軍隊就能自動成為下一個大人物。

Well, Loki did kind of pull focus.

好吧，洛基確實有點拉焦。

Well, wouldn't you?

那麼，你不會嗎？

Absolutely! You want to know what I would have done.

當然！你想知道我會怎麼做嗎？

I would have said:

我想說的是：

"You wanna know how I got these scars?"

"你想知道我怎麼會有這些傷疤嗎？"

And?

還有呢？

Then I blow something up. I don't know.

然後，我吹的東西了。我也不知道

I kind of like to keep people guessing.

我喜歡讓人們猜測。

This sucks. Who knows how long it'll take me to have Odin's throne now.

這很糟糕。誰知道我現在要花多長時間才能得到奧丁的寶座。

You know what's funny?

你知道什麼是有趣的？

If you had just been a good child, Odin probably would have just handed you the throne.

如果你剛才是個好孩子，奧丁也許會把王位交給你。

You know, since Thor doesn't want It?

你知道，既然托爾不想要它？

Yes, thank you for that reminder, general.

是的，謝謝你的提醒，將軍。

- You know what else is funny? - What's that?

- 你知道還有什麼好笑的嗎？ - 那是什麼？

If you had just colonized Mars, you could have saved your entire race.

如果你剛剛殖民了火星，你可以拯救你的整個種族。

You blowing my mind, Lok.

你讓我很吃驚，阿樂

I like this place.

我喜歡這個地方。

What is it called by the way?

對了，它叫什麼？

So the two of us broke out and he still thinks were locked in Arkham.

所以，我們兩個突破了，他仍然認為被鎖定在阿卡姆。

- That's awesome. - Heroes are so annoying.

- 這真是太棒了 - 英雄們都很煩人。

How long have those two been at it?

這兩個人在一起多久了？

Erm, since about...

呃，自從...

2004.

2004.

Oh, come on!

哦，來吧！

Barkeep!

吧主！

It would have been cooler with a Wand

如果有魔杖就更酷了。

Wands? The light sabre was a far more elegant weapon.

魔杖？光劍是一種更優雅的武器。

Oh right, buzz buzz zong zong whack whack. Very elegant.

哦，對了，嗡嗡嗡宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗宗。非常優雅。

There are no good battles anymore.

現在已經沒有好的戰役了。

Come on, the alien was scrappy.

來吧，外星人是廢柴。

- I respect scrappy. - No, I mean real battle, not washed-up sci-fi slap fights.

- 我尊重廢柴。 - 不，我是說真正的戰鬥，而不是被洗腦的科幻片裡的打鬥。

Battles between armies of fearsome foes like in my day.

軍隊之間的戰鬥可怕的敵人像我的日子。

Battles That Caused Nations to tremble,

引起國家顫抖的戰役。

Skies to Darken, Hearts of Children Filled With

天空要變暗，孩子們的心裡充滿了。

Khan!

汗！

Hey, come on, Guys, I was really building up to something there.

嘿，來吧，夥計們，我真的建立了一些東西在那裡。

Yes, it must have been riveting.

是的，一定是鉚足了勁。

So Khan, He Who Must Not Be Named here says there aren't any good battles any more.Thoughts?

所以，汗，這裡不得名的他說沒有什麼好的戰役了.想法？

Well, there was that time, I completely humiliated Kirk on Kronos.

有一次我在克洛諾斯號上徹底羞辱了柯克 Well, there was that time, I completely humiliated Kirk on Kronos.

Wait, you don't mean that time you just stood there letting him pound on you?

等等，你不會是說那次你就站在那裡讓他打你吧？

it was so boring

無聊透頂

Well I had just defeated about 50 Klingon warriors.

我剛剛打敗了大約50個克林貢戰士。

I loved that.

我喜歡這樣

Pew-pew, stab-stab.

Pew-pew, stab-stab.

Explosions

爆炸

- Nicely done - But you let him hit you

- 做得很好 但是你讓他打了你啊！

Because I am Superior in every way.

因為我在各方面都很優秀。

That's not battle. I'd never let the hero get away with hitting me. I'd be all "I'm going to destroy you!"

這不是戰鬥。我絕對不會讓英雄打我而逃脫。我會說："我要消滅你！" I'd be all "I'm going to destroy you!"

Then I'd point my wand really hard at him shooting green magic at him...

然後我用魔杖指著他... ...向他發射綠色魔法...

I'm with Khan on this one. It's more fun to take beatnig

我支持可汗的觀點。這是更有趣的採取beatnig。

to let the hero know, he can't hurt you. Now which reminds me - do you want to know how I got these scars?

讓英雄知道，他不能傷害你。這讓我想起了--你想知道我這些傷疤是怎麼來的嗎？

No, I prefer to utterly destroy my enemies.

不，我更願意徹底消滅我的敵人。

You mean like that time, when you failed to utterly destroy a tiny baby?

你是說像那次，你沒能徹底毀掉一個小嬰兒？

Ough! Gotcha!

哦！抓到你了！

Hey, he was a magic baby.

嘿，他是個魔力寶貝。

Well, maybe If I was a Superior Being with Super Blood, then I wouldn't have anything to worry about.

好吧，也許如果我是一個擁有超級血統的高級生物，那麼我就不會有什麼好擔心的了。

Except for being put to sleep for 300 years.

除了被關了三百年。

Maybe superblood would have kept you from turning into windblown flakes, when you lost.

也許超級血統能讓你在輸掉的時候，不至於變成風吹雪片。

- Again - Hoho!

- 再來一次--Hoho!

Burn.

燒。

I hate you guys.

我恨你們。

Okay, Baldy, you want battle? This'll cheer you up.

好了，禿子，你想打架嗎？這會讓你開心的

- Thumb war! - Oh, all right, I can't stay mad at you.

- 拇指戰爭！ - 哦，好吧，我不能一直生你的氣。 - 哦，好吧，我不能一直生你的氣。

- I'm leaving. - One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war.

- 我要走了- 一，二，三，四，我宣佈一場拇指戰爭。

Got you! You lose.

抓到你了！你輸了

Okay, revenge.

好吧，報仇。

One order to do. Bowncer!

有一個命令要做。弓箭手！

But I'm a Real Villain, at least I'm on television, please. No!

但我是一個真正的惡棍，至少我在電視上，請。不要！

Come on! Really! This is asgardian leather, you buffoon.

來吧！Come on! Really!這是亞斯加德皮革，你這個小丑。

It stains like you would not believe.

它的汙漬讓你無法相信。

- Oh, can't you just do that magic thing make It disappear - Of course I can. That's not the point.

- 哦，你就不能用那個魔法讓它消失嗎？我當然可以。 這不是重點。

- Then what is the point? - Looking awesome, duh.

- 那還有什麼意義呢？- 看起來很厲害，杜。

You have to respect the look. It took years to put all this together. Some of It is stolen, some of It is bought

你必須尊重它的外觀。花了好幾年時間才把這些東西組裝在一起。有些是偷來的，有些是買來的。

and some of It I made all by myself. It's the best costume in this place and it is Irreplaceable.

有些是我自己做的。這是這個地方最好的服裝，它是不可替代的。

Really. The Best. Then why aren't you wearing the whole thing?

真的嗎？最好的。那你為什麼不穿整件衣服？

- I... I don't know, what you're talking about. - Yes you do.

- I...我不知道，你在說什麼。- 是的，你做的。

Fine.

好吧

Stop laughing!

別笑了！

- The helmet works. - Is that why you got rid of It for Thor 2?

- 頭盔還能用- 所以你為了《雷神2》才把它扔了嗎？ Is that why you got rid of it for Thor 2?

- Hey, look, it's the tesseract! - Tesseract? Where? Whoa!

- 嘿，看，是魔術方塊！- 宇宙魔術方塊？在哪裡？哇！

Very funny. Jerks.

非常有趣。笨蛋

Relax. The Helmet... It's unique. It's you. You gotta have something, that's just you.

放鬆點頭盔...它是獨一無二的。它是你的。你得有一些東西，那就是你自己。

In fact. Do you want to know, where I got these clothes?

事實上你想知道，我這些衣服是在哪裡買的嗎？

- Surely, the answer's "Not from Batman". - They're custom, yep.

- 當然，答案是 "不是蝙蝠俠的"。- 他們是定製的，是的。

- 100% untraceable. - Unless you Happen to stop By a Party City.

- 100%無法追蹤- 除非你碰巧路過一個派對城市。

Yes, I think they carry wands there as well.

是的，我想他們那裡也有魔杖。

I told you, my wand cannot be replaced by some cheap plastic vacuum-molded muggle-designing...

我告訴過你，我的魔杖不能被一些廉價的塑膠真空成型的麻瓜設計代替...

SPEAKing of replacing things. i have to say you could use a better look, Voldie.

說到換東西，我不得不說你可以換個好點的樣子，Voldie。

What?!! What do you mean? I am the Dark Lord! Black Robes are awesome.

什麼？你什麼意思？我是黑魔王！黑袍很厲害

But sooo boring.

但太無聊了。

- Boring! Well, what would you suggest? - Drapes are a nice look.

- 無聊！那你有什麼建議？ - 窗簾是一個不錯的外觀。

Scales are functional and quite intimidating.

天平的功能，相當嚇人。

Extra Arms.

額外的武器。

Unexplained accessories can be nice.

不明原因的配件可以很好。

The handlebar mustache! Classic.

車把手的鬍子！經典。

How about some fire to change your look?

要不要來點火，改變一下自己的形象？

Have you considered a mask? They hide your face and disguise your voice.

你有沒有考慮過戴面具？它們能遮住你的臉，掩飾你的聲音。

Which can have unintended consequences.

這可能會產生意想不到的後果。

Yes, like being completely incomprehensible.

是的，就像完全不能理解一樣。

- What are you saing? - What are YOU saying?

- 你在說什麼？ - 你在說什麼？

- So what do you say, Voldie? - No!

- 你怎麼說，伏爾迪？- 不！

at least add a mask, it will help with...

至少加一個面具，這將有助於... ...

You know...

你知道...

- What? - You are you are aware that you don't have a nose, right?

- 你知道你沒有鼻子吧？

Enough! That's it! My look is both evil and terrifying!

夠了！夠了！我的樣子既邪惡又可怕！

I caused grown men to cower in fear,

我讓成年男子害怕得瑟瑟發抖。

I caused children lying in their beds to wake from nightmares and shriek at every shadow on the wall.

我讓躺在床上的孩子們從噩夢中醒來，對著牆上的每一個影子尖叫。

All living beings fear me to the depths of this song. What? What's happening?

眾生怕我到這首歌的深處。怎麼了？發生什麼事了？

Gryffindor?

格蘭芬多？

LOKIIII!!!!

LOKIIII!!!!

I think costumes are overrated.

我覺得服裝被高估了。

What? You look marvellous, darling! Love the hair.

你看起來棒極了，親愛的！我喜歡你的髮型

And then I totally destroyed everything.

然後我就徹底毀了一切。

That's my jam.

這是我的果醬。

I just sent them on endless goosechases, while I evolved and made my Earth destroying meteor.

我只是讓他們去無休止的追鵝，而我卻進化了，讓我的地球毀滅流星。

They never even stood a chance.

他們甚至沒有機會。

So when is this meteor supposed to get?

那麼這顆流星應該是什麼時候得到的呢？

Ohh, sometime about now.

哦，大約現在的某個時候。

- He said "now". - Wait, what?

- 他說 "現在"。- 等等，什麼？

Fine. I'll do it myself.

好吧，我自己來我自己來吧

Yes you will. Because if you want to work here, you shall do my bidet.

是的，你會的。因為如果你想在這裡工作，你就得幫我洗浴。

Now plunge with all of your hatred.

現在帶著你所有的仇恨跳下去。

Yes.

是的，我知道

I can feel your anger.

我能感覺到你的憤怒。

- Hey hey fellas! - Agh!

- 嘿嘿，夥計們！ - 啊！

- What did you do? - Thought it was time for a change.

- 你做了什麼？ - 我想是時候改變一下了

- Eww. Well, you thought wrong. - Yes no shirt no service.

- Eww.好吧，你想錯了。- 是的，沒有襯衫沒有服務。

- Ooh. Ok. - You look like a want to be rock star.

- 哦。好吧，你看起來像一個想成為搖滾明星的人。- 你看起來像一個想成為搖滾明星。

- You don't like it? - I mean. it's not killing me, it's just hurting me.

- 你不喜歡？ - 我的意思是，它沒有殺死我，只是傷害了我。

- Really. Really. Bad. - Yes, change back.

- 真的，真的真的是。壞的。 - 是的，換回來。

I can't, I shaved my eyebrows.

不行，我把眉毛剃了。

Do you know how long it takes for eyebrows to grow back?

你知道眉毛要多久才能長回來嗎？

Well, I certainly do. You are hosed, man.

好吧，我當然願意。你被甩了，夥計。

But didn't we just talk about the perfect costume?

但我們剛才不是說的是完美的服裝嗎？

Your previous costume was excellent.

你之前的服裝很好。

Oh, I don't know. I always thought, your look in '89 was best.

哦，我不知道。我一直認為，你89年的樣子是最好的。

- Or the sixties. - I disagree. That time you sounded like Luke Skywalker -

- 或六十年代。 - 我不同意。那次你聽起來像天行者盧克--

- that was best. - He still sounds like Luke Skywalker sometimes.

- 那是最好的。 - 他有時聽起來還是像天行者盧克。

That would explain I don't always like you.

這就能解釋我為什麼不總是喜歡你了。

Why can't you just stay one way and that's it?

為什麼你不能只停留在一種方式，就是這樣？

You don't see us rebooting over and over again, do you?

你沒看到我們一次又一次的重啟吧？

- Yeah. - Yeah. - Yes. - It's too soon, man, too soon.

- 是的，是的，太早了，夥計，太早了。

You can't just pull off the band-aid without warning.

你不能毫無預兆地撕掉Ok繃。

It's been seven years.

已經7年了。

Plus I'm the Joker, I'm unpredictable. It's what I do.

加上我是小丑，我是不可預測的。這是我的工作。

Yeah, one day I may blow up a hospital, the next day I may want ridiculous tattoos and no eyebrows.

是啊，有一天我可能會炸掉一家醫院，第二天我可能會想要可笑的紋身和沒有眉毛。

- It's just gonna happen, people, but it's still me. - Well, I just think, maybe you should have asked us first?

- 它只是會發生，人， 但它仍然是我。- 好吧，我只是覺得，也許你應該先問我們？

Yes. Now you look like a psychotic version of Jordan from "My so-called life".

是的，現在你看起來像《我所謂的生活》裡的精神病版喬丹。現在你看起來就像 "我所謂的生活 "中的精神病版喬丹。

- That's what he reminds me of. - You guys watch "My so-called life"?

- 這就是他讓我想起的。- 你們看《我所謂的生活》嗎？

-No. -No. -Shut up. -You do.

-不 不 閉嘴-你才是

- What is this, 1995?

- 這是什麼，1995年？

- I do think it's on Netflix. - What is this netflix?

- 我認為它是在Netflix上。- 這是什麼netflix？

Okay... So anyway. This is my look now.

好吧...所以，無論如何，這是我現在的樣子。這是我現在的樣子。

- Boo - No!

- 不！

Have some dignity!

有點尊嚴吧！

You have "damaged" on your forehead.

你的額頭上有 "損傷"。

I say, we give him a chance!

我說，我們給他一個機會！

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Netflix's streaming. Let's see here "My so-called life".

網易的流媒體。讓我們來看看這裡的 "我所謂的生活"。

What's this?

這是什麼？

DVD only.

只有DVD。

LOOOKKKIIII!!!

LOOKKKIIII!!!!

- Yes, these are the brains you are looking for. - Whoa!

- 是的，這些都是你要找的大腦。- 哇！

- Another zombie night, barkeep? Really? - It's great, isn't it?

- 又是一個殭屍之夜，酒吧老闆？真的嗎？- 這是偉大的，不是嗎？

Well, Dark Lord, ever since your Army of Death Eaters disbanded,

好吧，黑魔王，自從你的食死徒軍團解散後。

I've had to expand my clientele to include collective villains.

我不得不擴大我的客戶群，包括集體惡棍。

Besides, they are excellent tippers.

此外，他們是優秀的小費。

Disgusting.

噁心。

Collective villains shouldn't even count as villains.

集體小人甚至不應該算作小人。

What do you mean?

什麼意思？

Collective villains are terrifying!

集體反派太可怕了!

What could be more evil, than a mass of mindless undead cannibals

還有什麼比一群無意識的不死食人族更邪惡的呢？

- shambling toward you to eat your brain? - A true Villain Is a Brilliant and Powerful genius.

- 晃晃悠悠的向你走來，要吃你的腦子？ - 一個真正的小人是一個聰明而強大的天才。

He doesn't stumble towards his victims and mindless waves.

他不會跌跌撞撞地走向他的受害者和無意識的浪潮。

The true Villain plots and schemes and outwits, a dark and powerful Master. Like...

真正的小人陰謀詭計，出其不意，是一個黑暗而強大的師父。就像...

How do you do that? Do you just wait outside

你是怎麼做到的？你就在外面等嗎？

- listening for an inspiring speech to interrupt? - If that were true i'd never come here?

- 聽著一個鼓舞人心的演講來打斷？- 如果是真的，我就不會來這裡了？

Oh-ho, nice!

哦，好！

Settle a debate for us, conman.

為我們解決一個辯論，金光黨。

Voldie here says, that zombies sholdn't count as villains, because they're just a mindless collective.

Voldie在這裡說，殭屍不應該算作壞人，因為他們只是一個沒有頭腦的集體。

I think, they're terrifying. Your thougths?

我認為，他們是可怕的。你的想法？

- Oh, are there zombies here? - How could you not have noticed?

- 哦，這裡有殭屍嗎？ - 你怎麼會沒發現呢？

They are everywhere!

他們到處都是！

You forget, I am superior in every way.

你忘了，我在各方面都比你強。

You all seem like zombies to me.

在我看來，你們都像是殭屍。

Oh, I suppose you have a Superior Understanding of the hierarchy of villainy?

哦，我想你對反派的等級制度有高級的理解吧？

Indeed I do.

確實如此。

Me

我

Zombies

殭屍

Everyone else.

其他人。

Scoff.

嘲笑。

Oh, I forgot.

哦，我忘了。

Magicians.

魔術師。

Oh, I love magic! Do you want to see a magic trick?

哦，我喜歡魔術！你想看魔術表演嗎？

I got your nose.

我抓住了你的鼻子

- Really? - Fine, I'll put it back.

- 真的嗎？ - 好吧，我把它放回去。- 好吧，我把它放回去。

Zombies are so old-fashioned. Only the intellectually challenged would fear them.

殭屍太老套了。只有智障人士才會害怕他們。

We certainly don't have to worry about things like that in the future.

以後我們當然不用擔心這樣的事情了。

Wait, what about those guys?

等等，那些人呢？

Those aren't anything like zombies.

這些都不像殭屍。

- Face it, they're just robot-zombies. - Yep, pretty much.

- 面對它，他們只是機器人殭屍。 - 是的，差不多吧

- Guys, zombie-karaoke is starting. - That's it. Disapparate!

- 夥計們，殭屍卡拉OK開始。 - 就是這樣。Disapparate！

Personal transwarp.

個人轉機。

Guys, you gonna miss it.

夥計們，你們會錯過的。

And then he stabbed me in the leg, and I still didn't bleed out.

然後他刺傷了我的腿，我還是沒有流出來。

And you don't have any healing powers? - Nope

你沒有任何治療能力？- 沒有啊

WOW

WOW

Hello, Francis!

你好，弗朗西斯！

Wade...

韋德...

Now *bleep* die already *bleep*

現在就去死吧！

Bleeps? Really? Here?