Okay, that's what they do.

好吧，這就是他們的工作。

They all tell monologue, jokes.

他們都在講獨白，講笑話。

And, uh, after a while, it seems, Don't know.

過了一陣子，似乎... ...我不知道

Sort of like the same thing again and again.

有點像同樣的事情一而再再而三。

Me, I like to innovate.

我，我喜歡創新。

Sorry.

對不起，我不知道

Other hosts.

其他東道主：

That's just me.

這只是我的想法。

I'm an innovator.

我是一個創新者。

Great pioneer.

偉大的先鋒。

Some say the bravest man in the history of the world.

有人說是世界歷史上最勇敢的人。

Here's what I've done.

這是我做的。

I found a way to tell amazing, topical jokes that adds excitement and sex appeal to the monologue.

我找到了一種講出驚人的、有話題性的笑話的方法，為獨白增添了刺激性和性吸引力。

Yeah, check this out.

是啊，看看這個。

So, uh, reading the paper today, scientists say that one side effect from Cove in 19 is that the brain ages about 10 years.

所以，呃，今天看了論文，科學家們說，19年科夫的一個副作用是，大腦會老化10年左右。

Yeah, so that would make Donald Trump a 12 year old.

是啊，所以唐納德・特朗普是個12歲的孩子。

Yet another epic takedown is the for the faint of heart.

然而，另一個史詩級的攻勢是為膽小的人準備的。

Who knew that a string of words could turn into art?

誰知道一串文字可以變成藝術？

Nice one.

很好的一個。

Yeah, no problem, Andy.

是啊，沒問題，安迪。

Hey, check this out.

嘿，看看這個。

People are complaining that TBS cut off the ending of jingle all the way before the movie was completely over.

人們都在抱怨TBS在電影完全結束之前就把叮噹的結局全部剪掉了。

Yeah, people complain because they wanted TBS to cut off the movie way earlier.

是啊，人們抱怨是因為他們想讓TBS早點把電影停掉。

Oh, my God.

哦，我的上帝。

We can't stop laughing.

我們笑個不停。

Pansa soaked from coast to coast.

潘沙從海岸到海岸都被浸泡了。

Justin Wisdom harmonizing this late night host woes In this version, you look like large Marge from Pee Wee's Big adventure.

賈斯汀-智慧諧音這個深夜主持人的悲哀在這個版本中，你看起來就像《小便大冒險》中的大瑪吉。

Large Marge from PVC.

由PVC製成的大瑪吉。

Remember the truck drive?

還記得開卡車的事嗎？

Yeah, because your hair this is going straight up.

是啊，因為你的頭髮這是要直上。

Hey, Ikea announced it will no longer publish its catalog.

嘿，宜家宣佈將不再發布其目錄。

Hey, I'm sorry, but that's just fuck that when you find a little laughing at a punchline so perfect about down to your TV and wit is Obree Hispanic?

嘿，我很抱歉，但這只是他媽的，當你發現一個小笑的衝鋒陷陣如此完美的關於下到你的電視和機智是Obree西班牙人？

How has this singer actually heard these jokes?

這個歌手到底是怎麼聽過這些笑話的？

I mean, I don't don't seem connected.

我的意思是，我不不似乎連接。

Exactly.

就是這樣

The singer was supposed to read all the jokes thoroughly beforehand.

唱歌的人應該事先把所有的笑話都看透了。

A new study found that taking a walk when it's dark out is good for you.

一項新的研究發現，在天黑的時候散步對你有好處。

Yeah, The study was sponsored by murderers.

是啊，這項研究是由殺人犯贊助的。

How many more of these will he do?

他還會做多少這樣的事？

Singer must be getting tired.

歌手一定很累了

Still bad singing trust.

還是唱不好信任。

Let's dig it by year.

我們按年份來挖。

Where do we even find this singer?

我們到哪裡去找這個歌手？

Oh, he just offered to do it because apparently is a huge fan.

哦，他只是提出要做，因為顯然是一個巨大的風扇。

Actually, it was on Craigslist.

事實上，它是在Craigslist上。

I found cones.

我發現了錐子。

Desperate plea, he agreed to pay for gas in my hubby's.

絕望的請求下，他同意在我老公那裡付油錢。